Lizzie Saltzman stumbles into her empty dorm room numbered twenty-three, a bottle of bourbon clutched in her shaky hands.

Empty. She wants to feel that -numbness over feelings. A mental anesthesia.

She all but drops onto the floor in front of the fireplace, glaring daggers at the flames dancing around. Alaric would probably have something to say about stealing the bottle from his office and Josie would be disappointed with her choice of coping mechanism but she couldn't care less. Right now, all she wants is to forget the hot yet cold aching inside her. It's not the dark magic.

It's the pain of betrayal.

She fought so hard to keep herself from being vacuumed into the darkness. To not let that negative emotion swallow her and pour acid into her soul. So she chugged the acid-like liquor down instead.

Lizzie tried to put herself in hope's shoes. She thought about how it would feel to lose Landon. Ugh, seriously what is it about that flying chicken that hope likes so damn much. He accomplishes things about as well as he flies...which he doesn't.

Despite her continued warnings, the Mikaelson went behind her back and included Josie in this, knowing full well that she was taking a time out. She could get past that because the brunette had made her own choice to take her magic back.

Just like Josie is Lizzie's blindspot, Landon is hope's. She would lose her mind and probably go down the path her dearest uncle took if she lost Josie. That being said, she let the incident where the tribrid nearly hacked open her head with an axe slide. Lizzie understood how it was like to lose control. Been there a hundred times.

But the blonde would never put hope in danger like that. She dessicated Milton knowing that he would be okay. In a few hours, he'd be just fine.

Hope had no idea if the siphoners would survive. She had no idea if they would make it out alive. Which begs the question, Would she have let us die if it meant Frodo would be back? She didn't even know if Landon was actually in the prison world.

The black magic seethed through her veins. Her brain felt like nails scraping against the chalkboard. Her skin stung like glass shards had stabbed and lodged themselves in. Her body was on fire as she cried out in agony.

Hope watched. Hope told her to push through because she wasn't going to abandon him again. At that moment, Lizzie knew. Hope Mikealson made a choice.

Her mind almost formed that choice into words before Josie entered the circle and hope watched again. She didn't stop the spell. She put Josie in danger. Lizzie Saltzman could not get past anyone hurting her sister- even if that person was hope.

If you leave your friends to suffer when you could have saved them from it - that's betrayal. Hope chose to let them go through the pain. Hope betrayed them.

And that hurts even more than when Josie drove a wedge between them. Even more than the words her sister said to her during miss mystic falls. Even more than the time the twins were fighting. Even more than everyone laughing at her funeral. Even more than when dark Josie forced the merge.

Because in all those moments she was there. In the car ride back to school, she knew hope was not at fault. Hope understood her. She allowed the younger twin to hold her when she broke during the pageant. When Lizzie was having an episode, she was the one to calm her down. She figured out a way to save her life. While the blonde siphon handled the arrangements outside, the auburn-haired girl was trying to get her sister, her anchor, back. The tribrid was always there in the corner ready to catch her if she fell.

Today, she was the reason for her fall.

Lizzie had learned how to mask the insecurities, damage and fear. She slipped on a mask of normalcy every morning and hid behind passive-aggressive remarks with a facade of indifference. Hope managed to slip through the cracks. She saw how broken I was-am. the very girl she had allowed to tear down her walls, was the one bridging them up again.

If she still wants to kill me the safest place I can be is right here next to you. The words echo in her head like a broken record. they are no longer true. Ironic, she deadpan.

The blonde twin couldn't tell if she was more pissed that hope put Josie in danger or hurt at the fact that she was about to let them die.

Lizzie could feel the snake coiling in her gut, ready to strike at any moment, at anything around. She held it in. I really don't feel like having an episode right now. She is aware of this precarious state. Her emotions were jagged and insides tight.

She tries to drown them out with a swig from the bottle followed by another and before she knows it, the empty bottle is being tossed to the side. The moulded glass clanks on the hardwood floor rolling away from her reach causing the siphon to cringe at the sickening crack.

The pain still lingers but Lizzie no longer feels the urge to carve out every floorboard in the dorm room with her bare hands. She doesn't know how long she sits there with her thoughts of the past weeks running a marathon on bleeding knees. They drift from hope to something darker. Something she doesn't want to do but can't help the craving. She eyes the broken glass shards, wary of the fingers reaching out for it. I can't-wont do this. Not this time. Her fingers return to her hugging her knees to her heaving chest.

The room starts to vibrate and the light flickers. She notices it but can't bring herself to care. She sits there silently as the hot tears run down her face unchecked. Chaos ensues around her. The witch lets her magic run wild until she's drained. Taking in the mess around her, she sighs. It's going to be a bitch tomorrow morning.

The bed looked very inviting but Lizzie did not attempt to move.

She sits there for a while before realising why. She's waiting for someone, anyone to convince her that what happened won't ever happen again. That it's okay to let people see her big heart. This was just a really bad nightmare. It could be Landon for all that mattered and it would be enough.

Lizzie needs- wants to be soothed like a child. Like how Caroline would do on nights when nothing seemed to be right. It's been months since she saw her mother, since she was held in an embrace where she felt absolutely safe and content.

I miss you, mommy.

"Lizzie?" a worried voice calls.

The upset daughter whips her head towards the door. Her lip quivers as she takes in the sight of Caroline with a warm yet concerned smile on her face. Oh yay, now I'm hallucinating. She turns back to the fire, chucking what she just saw as a mind game. Or the alcohol.

The older blonde frowns, her worry increasing. With slow measured steps, she manoeuvered her way around the mess towards her daughter and took a seat beside her. "Lizzie," she calls again, louder this time. The person in question doesn't turn. She carefully wraps her arms around Lizzie's shaking frame.

The siphon freezes as she processes that this is real. Caroline was really here. Lizzie caves in and sobs the hardest she ever has in seventeen years, keeping her head tucked under Caroline's chin. "Mommy." she cries.

"I'm here. Just let it out, babygirl. I got you.'' Caroline soothes, running her hand through her youngest child's hair.

"Hope...the prison w-world..." she gets out between sobs.

Caroline shushes here. "I know. Josie told me everything. She is with your dad right now."

Lizzie jerks away from her mother. Eyes wide and movements frantic. "Josie! Mom...Josie was there. The magic. The dark magic..." she slurs, beginning to get to her feet. "I need to see her...I need to find her."

Caroline frowns as the worried twin tries to walk to the door on her unstable legs. She stepped in front of her keeping a firm grip around the girl swaying dangerously. "Lizzie. Josie is fine. The tests came out fine."

"She is?" Lizzie asked in a small voice that saddened the vampire.

"Yeah. she is all good," She helps her back onto the ground, taking in the broken bourbon bottle. Oh. "Have you been drinking?" she questions. The witch looks away, afraid to meet the gaze of her mother. "I am not mad."

"Promise?"

"I promise," Caroline assures.

Lizzie slumps back against her, not having the energy to keep up anymore. "It hurts," she mumbles simply.

"I know, Lizzie bear. Let it out. The right way."

And she does. Lizzie cries out all the pain, hurt and anguish in the arms of her mother. Caroline shifts them to the bed and holds her through it all, not letting go even after Lizzie had passed out from exhaustion.

In the darkness, everything feels lighter. The betrayal of her best friend doesn't hurt to the point it's hard to breathe. The burden of simply being herself lessens.

And Lizzie Saltzman hope's she could stay in this darkness forever. 

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! also we need headmistress caroline back and Alaric needs to go.