That night, at least..yibo sat beside Zhan and watched him compose his songs. That was the best closeness he wishes for. Bit by bit and his drumming heart feels at ease.

Seeing Zhan everyday has developed something new within his body, maybe are the so called feelings. Are they? Turning crazy just by his illuminating mood. The seizing of his ears, imagining maybe a bell is being hung over them, hotness surrounds them, followed by ringing sounds. How his stomach tickles just by thinking about him or the mummers of his name from someone else, can he say really? are they feelings, should he confront someone?

But...

This man is thirty, he has been straight and looks like, his feelings aren't yet settled worst enough, maybe if a good girl of his liking crosses his path, he can be moved again, and think of starting a relationship again! and, never a man, is it so? Then yibo, will he have to die slowly with his crush, that's to say!

"Argh!!...so confusing." Shrugging his shoulders.

"Having a fever? Very red.." asks Zhan seriously looking at him now.

"Nah...I'm fine. Maybe tired." Looking at him.

"Have a rest. Maybe that will do. Isn't that what we run for! After practicing? And more to add... it's late." Pouring himself water.

"Your right." Looking at Zhan he was drinking medicine, and this time the bottle resting the small table is different from the previous making him frown.

"Hey kid. Does your father love dying this much? This bottle case, holds two different suppressants. One is opioid and the other is benzos. I mean, like...you are letting your father drink these, do you even want him to leave you so much! Wait...

"Enough! Can he be able to leave those? To stop taking them." Speaks Yibo.

"For how long. Did he use them. These yes, they are prescribed by the doctor, they help in anxieties, panic attacks, insomnia. But they can be used for a period of time per, the doctor's say. So, for how long did your father use them?" Asks Doctor Ji li.

"I don't know....

"Uhmm... Zhan ge, sorry. But for how long did you start taking medications? Those.." pointing the bottle.

"This....think have forgotten. But maybe when I was twenty four, or fourteen? I don't remember?" Chuckling awkwardly. "Others drink medicine since born, guess I'm lucky a bit. Though, it was thanks to my first craziness, I was in highschool, how I was treated, led me to a mental breakdown, and had to leave school for a short time to heal." Returning to sit beside yibo.

"Then about school?...

"Returned after months, as a child it was easy to counsel me with medication too, that's when I got the depressants, but that time had to use them whenever I see any changes, it was a bit tough to control myself back then but I lived." His painful smiles always pains yibo.

"Can't you stop it?" Asks yibo making Zhan look at him.

"So I can kill again another person?" That was painful than what he saw over Zhan's eyes.

"Yo-you killed someone?" Asks yibo astonished.

"What?" He too is confused... 'Did I just speak something I shouldn't?' standing up. "You are tired, go to sleep."  runs towards his bed, covering himself from head to toe.

'It's called murder, is it?' looking at the body shaped person on the bed.....

Having themselves practise hard, it can be said that it's good for others but not Zhan. He dropped a lot and today Friday, caught number seven, from number five the day before. Whereby tomorrow is Saturday and two people will have to leave the campus. His mind wasn't stable but bothered. Himself more isolated. The room is more bothering to yibo who even used his few days to sleep with cheng.

"Yibo, what's bothering Zhan. And what about you? Why did you run from your room. He isn't focused on practises. His mind looks not so stable. Answer me friendly, after what I'll ask you..we are friends right?" Speaks Cheng.

"Mm."

"Okay. Let's start with medicines, they aren't your father's but Zhan's right?" He turns looking at him, while he raises his brow and Slowly he nods.

"Okay, what made you run away from your room. Is it because he is a son of a prime minister?" And yibo nods a no..

"If that's not the case. Then, what if I say a President's son is living within us. *Yibo turns to him* Will you leave? What if I tell you now, that I'm a vice president's son? Will you agree? Will you too isolate yourself from me? Because that's the thing I don't like. How people befriend and leave me after knowing what I am. And that's what Zhan is passing through.

He did a mistake yes, but, as a father still there is a hint of love to his son and did all costs to save him. Yeah, I know, they say politicians are full of dirty tricks but as a father, he had no any other option than helping his son who, still stayed fourteen months in jail despite having such tittle. To be frank, did you leave him after knowing he is a murderer or you can't develop more feelings for him because he is a killer."

"Are you a spy from an embassy? You seem to have monitored me very well!" Speaks yibo. "It's not like what you think? It's just I can't bring myself to be near him and try everything I could to make him feel safe, make him open up without any fears..make him see me as his confident. It might be difficult, and I know trusting person will need time, but can't he see how willing I am. And that's because I should be more secure of my feelings before I turn to a crazy love!" Looking down.

"Do you love him?" Asks Cheng, his lips itching to laugh after seeing yibo blushing again, as he always does after hearing even a slight letter from zhan's name.

"Sort of." Mummering with a pout.

"Are you a straight man or Bi?" He asks again.

"My heart races for a man. Do you want me to waste my time with a nosy girl?" Irritated with cheng's teases.

"Okay. Figure your feelings sooner. Lastly, will you be my friend or will you leave me?" He asks feeling down.

"Hey! That's not the case I left my room. And didn't we promise to get along well?" Angry.

"Then it's a thank you." Smiling at the point of crashing his neck.

At night yibo went to his room and found Zhan asleep on the desk. His eyes look red and puffy. Maybe from crying, even now he could see how tears stream from his closed eyes. A sad memory or?... So he chooses to sit beside, taking the notebook reading his few songs. All of them are of pain, heartbreaks, success. Sighing he just wakes him up and maybe he should regret because Zhan only became worst starting writhing over the table, from fear as his face writes it.

"You better wake up! I don't play games...." Holding his one hand very tight, no one can say how strong he is, but he hold it. "Fuck!! I said wake up. And no one is going to die... Stop talking nonsense....I'm not Shao Shao, better wake up." Shaking him, he opens his eyes, nothing happens, very calm, but his eyes dart only to yibo, tears going out uncontrollably. "Take you time? Use your time....let it all... everything, all of it...will be fine...shhhh" soothing the sobbing mess Zhan.

"I...I killed her. Why does love need to be this painful? Why. Everyone deserves to love and to be loved. Isn't it? Then why..." Finishing with a whisper. "She cursed, spatted all vengeful words to me, and I just couldn't bare seeing her again. I knew couldn't be happy with her. Knew we will always fight. After all, I've been cursed to love. My passion too, is participating greatly to destroy me more. I'm sorry you have to stay a room with a killer. Who hides behind people's shadows. You just did a very great thing to choose good place to stay and not stay!" His voice is breaking high enough to make yibo hug him tight.

"Right now? My ears hurt a lot? And the same, same reason is for me to leave this room because couldn't withstand your cries. And now again?" Whines yibo faking anger.

"How different are you?" Chuckles despite his agony. "Thank you...

"Argh!! Thank me later after you trace away that position of yours. I'm even scared of tomorrow..." Hugging Zhan more tight.

"I'm prepared. Though?" Now his eyes are paining and swollen from crying. Even yibo's sad view is by searching (👣). "All of us here come and go. So no need to feel sad...

"I wish if they could now what your condition was and give you another chance." Looking down.

"Hey!! The day isn't even gone. How can you plan this ill of me. But it's true anyway.." averting his gaze on his notebook, wiping his new tears.

"It's not that way, because I wish to walk together this journey till the finals." Smiling brightly at Zhan.

"Will I?" Asks himself.

"And why won't you? Let's work harder." Making a high five infront of him.

"Let's work harder." Responding it with a small noticable smile.

Thanks~~