a/n: hi and welcome to another episode of "cal has no idea what to write" I'm winging this mates so i'm sorry if it's shit

Lance hadn't meant to go on Keith's laptop. He hadn't meant to open it to a tab that read 'Keith's Xmas List'. But he had, and now, here he was, staring at the one thing written. 

The cursor taunted him, blinking innocently back at Lance as he read the words over and over again. He'd never knew- no, he'd never even entertained the idea- that Keith could...

For Lance to realize he's actually in love with me.

What did that even mean? What was Lance supposed to say to that? Did he like Keith that way? He wasn't even sure himself. It was like the words had opened up a whole new way of seeing things. Maybe this was the realization Keith was talking about.

Lance slammed the laptop shut, sighing heavily. All these months thinking that Keith hated him, that they were sworn enemies and nothing more than teammates. And it was all a lie...?

Lance proceeded through the next few days following the Stages of Grief.

Denial:

"Jeez, Lance, that was just pathetic," Keith told Lance harshly after he beat him, yet again, in hand-to-hand combat training.

Lance glared at him from his position on the floor, picking himself up gingerly and wincing at his sore ribs. 

No, it was a quiznak-ing joke. He was lying- there's no way he actually cares about me. Lance got up again and again, no matter how many times his feet were swept from underneath him or he was hit down. 

He needed to prove to himself that he wasn't letting this affect him.

Anger: 

How the hell is he acting so normal? If he actually loved me, he'd be all moon-eyed and soft. He's such an ass!

Lance fumed as he stared at Keith from across the table, who looked perfectly calm and collected as he ate his food goo. Keith only spared Lance a few quick glances, giving him an odd look when Lance continued to glare.

"What's your problem?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

Definite asshole.

Bargaining:

Why can't I just forget the whole thing happened? Then everything could go back to normal. Please, Keith, just tell me the whole thing was a dream.

Lance lay awake in bed, thinking about the situation. Thinking about the words. And eventually, thinking about Keith. Dark eyes. Dark hair. Serious and hot-headed. Abs. Lance shook his head and buried his face in his pillow, yelling out in frustration. 

This was pointless.

Depression:

"Lance, c'mon, where are you?"

Lance pulled himself out of his thoughts (which were mainly about a certain man with a mullet) and looked around dazedly. 

"We're forming Voltron, Lance." Lance heard Keith's voice over the com and nodded to himself, urging Blue over to the group of lions.

To his left, Hunk's face popped up on a monitor. "Hey, bud, are you okay?"

Lance nodded slowly. He was exhausted and confused and lonely for some reason. He felt strange and his stomach went into knots whenever he and Keith talked or exchanged a look. He didn't know what it all meant but he just wanted it to be over.

He just wanted things to work out- he was tired of worrying.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry."

Acceptance:

Lance paced in front of Keith's door anxiously, deciding whether to knock or not. He'd planned on just walking in and telling Keith the truth about what he'd found out, but now that plan seemed too rash.

"Just knock, idiot," Lance mumbled to himself, raking his hands through his hair to try to make it look nice- wait, why did he want it to look nice?

Did he suddenly want to look good for Keith? Was it because...? No, probably not. Maybe. Possibly. Quiznak.

Lance turned sharply and practically punched Keith's door, making his knuckles sting and protest and causing him to swear loudly. He hadn't meant to do it that way either.

But he had no choice now. he heard a muffled rustle behind the door and he froze, immediately straightening and plastering a fake smile on his lips as fast as he could.

Keith's expression when he opened the door made it obvious that Keith could tell how fake Lance was acting. 

"Hey, Lance," he greeted casually, leaning up against the doorframe. 

Lance coughed once, his cheeks no doubt vermillion, and blurted, "I know what you want for Christmas."

Keith was either hiding his emotions incredibly well of he was just plain stupid. "Pardon?"

Lance laughed nervously. "I accidentally opened your laptop and saw your list, I mean."

Slowly, Keith's eyebrows lifted. He looked genuinely amused. Lance hadn't been expecting this reaction, and honestly, he was just as hopeless with what to do or say.

Keith didn't say anything for a few moments. "Alright," he finally said. 

Lance fidgetted with the hem of his coat. "I just wanted you to know."

"What did you think?" Keith's eyes were soft and pretty. Lance gulped.

"Uh," he started dumbly, "I think that it's a little surprising."

Keith shrugged. "I guess. I've always thought it's kind of obvious."

Lance bit his lip. "Really?"

The red paladin cracked a rare smile, "You are a bit dense, Mcclain."

"I guess..." Lance admitted, blushing still.

"Well, I guess now you know. Nothing has to change between us, though." Keith shrugged.

"What if I want something to change?"

"What do you have in mind?"

Lance smiled at the floor. "Maybe we could spend some more time together or something."

Keith blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."