A.N.:// This is a gift for neko9123 :)
I hope this is what you had in mind


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„Stop. Stop the training sequence!", Allura yelled through the control room.
This wasn't the first time today. And Keith was almost certain it wouldn't be the last.

She stepped into the room, where the five paladins were breathing heavily from the exercise. They were humans after all. Working out for more than five hours a day was bound to get on their stamina.

Keith blinked away the sweat that was now dropping into his eyes. He knew exactly what got them their little break right now.
"Lance.", Allura bridged her nose with her hand. The jewelry hanging from her wrist glimmering accusingly at the man in question.
Lance smugly smiled at her, his gun resting on his shoulders as he made himself appear as tall as possible. Lance was a guy who radiated confidence. Even when he was scolded.
It hadn't been like that in the beginning. At first he would always look down and just shut up. Lately – all the celebrations they attended had blown up his ego ten fold.
At least – that's what Keith saw.

"Yes, my princess. Impressed by my stunt?"
Allura growled. Like an angry cat. Keith would be laughing, but just like the rest of them, he made an annoyed face. Training was too serious to be broken by Lance's humor.
"NO! Lance, you need to watch your back more! Your stunt almost got you killed."

"Oh come on, this is a simulation.", he rolled his eyes, but his grin never faltered.
"Yes, and you should be grateful it is. Out of everyone here, you already are our weakest link. You should be training more than anyone else in this room!
I wonder how you're still alive, really.", she sighed and took a deep breath. She was too tired to actually scream right now.
She too, had changed like that. She knew Lance wasn't taking this seriously. The more she shouted, the angrier she got, the more she just exhausted herself. And that could be crucial for their future missions.

"You need to take this more seriously, Lance.", she locked eyes with him. She was right of course. Keith understood her anger. More than anyone, probably.
Lance was the least controlled pilot, he lacked technique in fighting and got himself in stressful situations all the time. It was like he wanted to die. Well, he wasn't bad necessarily. He just happened to be a little less talented and experienced than the rest of them.
And by a little, Keith meant a teeny tiny bit. He was second best in almost everything the others excelled in. Still.
It was like Lance was trying to copy them and boasted about his accomplishments as if they were his own. When really, he hadn't come of with anything by himself.

Keith gnawed on his bottom lip. Before he said something that might start a fight between him and Lance. Like it tended to as soon as he opened his mouth. It wasn't his intention, obviously.
But it happened sometimes.
Keith was exhausted too though. Not today, his mind told him.
It was just that whenever Lance looked at him, it was like something snapped between them and Lance began insulting him. It was very irritating.
"I AM taking this serious, Princess.", he wiggled his eyebrows. "Maybe we could meet up later so I can show you just HOW serious I am."

Urgh. Keith and the rest of the team groaned loudly.
Allura frowned at him. "You are dismissed. I want to see you here again in the morning. Get some rest.", she said to them, ignoring Lance's invitation.

"Oh, and Lance.", she frowned.
"Don't be late."
Lance bowed, still grinning widely. Keith exhaled a deep breath as he heard the light swift sound of the door closing shut, as Lance retreated to who knew where.

"He's distracted lately.", he could hear Hunk sigh.
"Yeah, distracted. I'm fairly sure he's just slacking off.", Keith shook his head and crossed his arms in front of himself. Well – to be fair, he had noticed it too.
Lance's focus seemed off lately.

That was to be expected, if he was being honest to himself. They had saved another planet last week and some of the girls had been very interested in Lance. Plural. Multiple girls. Lance had been very smug about it.
And rubbed it in Keith's face who had just -

Well maybe coming out like that wasn't his wisest decision. "I don't care, Lance. I'm gay!", he had said and just – left after that. Lance and him hadn't really gotten to talk about it yet.
Well, Lance hadn't thrown a fit or acted disgusted by him. But he had began to avoid him.

The dynamic in the team was off since then.
That was Lance's fault. Not Keith's. Lance had been awkward lately. Especially around Keith. Who hadn't even had the chance to tell Lance that he liked him yet.
Not that he would. Especially not when Lance was being so weird.

First of all, they were in the middle of a war. Secondly, if Lance already had trouble handling Keith's orientation, he wouldn't be able to cope with a confession. Best case scenario: he would be smug about it and tease him for no reason. There was only so much Lance's ego could handle.
Keith had expected no less. The knowledge hurt, but it could have been worse.

"I think Keith is right.", Allura sighed, watching the door as though Lance was still there.
"Lance's confidence has gotten to his head. Voltron's reputation is no good for him.

Hunk frowned at both of them, but Pidge also chimed in.
"Yeah, Hunk. You're his best friend. You could talk to him and tell him to cool his head and get of his high horse, right? Just because a few girls were interested in him that doesn't mean he can just go slacking off. If he keeps this up, we may not be able to form Voltron next time." So Pidge had noticed it too.
She looked at Hunk expectantly, but Hunk's mouth was wide open in shock. As though Pidge's comment was totally unreasonable.
Which it wasn't. Not at all.

Lance had made clear, very early on what he wanted in life. Fame, girls – yeah that was literally all. Now that he got it. It was obvious he wouldn't care about whether or not he deserved the title as hero. Lance was a macho. There was no place for insecurity in this man.

Shiro now comfortingly put his hand on Hunk's shoulder. "Could you do that for us, Hunk?"

Hunk looked between them like they had gone mad. Or grown a second head each. Then he violently shook his head, hands raised in front of him in defense.
"Absolutely not.", he said. "You've got this all wrong!", he insisted, but before he could explain why, the alarm sound interrupted their conversation.

"Urgh. Great.", Keith muttered under his breath. Couldn't Zarkon give them a break for ONE day?

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All in all, it could have been better.
They could have been better. Okay, Lance could have been. He had been distracted – again! While they were fighting of the robbeast.
In the end, they got EATEN by the damn thing. They were lucky the robbeast was designed to capture them. Not kill them.
If only the lions were still here, because the thing had the ability to teleport them into the belly of the beast.
Their weapons were ineffective here, it was dark. Apart from the green glowing crystals that illuminated parts of the metallic walls.

"I can't believe you just – crashed into my lion.", Keith all but shouted at the blue paladin.
Urgh – he could really need a good joke as of now, but Lance didn't really seem in the mood. Just like he had all week, he was avoiding to even talk to Keith.

Keith groaned.
Flying black was hard enough. Especially since Shiro was back. With his right hand out of control and Allura still trying to figure out what the blue lion could do -
Leading was hard.
Now all five paladins were trapped within the robbeast, only waiting for Haggar to kill them all. Okay, maybe it was Keith's fault all along. Lance's being distracted had him distracted too.
This was getting exceedingly better and better.

Well – now was not the time to blame anyone for anything. So he sighed, looking at Lance.
"Look, we're in this mess now. And we all have to deal with it. That may be your fault but-..."
Keith stopped in the middle of his last sentence.
Now that was not what he had been trying to say.

"Wow, geez, thanks Keith. That makes me feel worse.", Lance responded. Keith blinked, and in the dimming light he could see Lance mirroring his own irritated expression. Huh? Didn't he mean better? Worse? Why worse?

"I didn't mean to say that.", they said at the same time.

Pidge and Hunk now slowly moved over, trying to understand what mechanics they were dealing with right now.
"Guys, are you okay?"

"Yes", Keith said at the same time Lance said "I never am."

They all halted in their movements, staring at a very confused looking Lance as Allura shouted out for them. The confusion turned to something else. Like understanding and fear. No. Horror. It was horror. Lance was horrified.
"Guys! Look at this! There are runes in these walls.", she said.

The paladins nodded at each other, ignoring Lance's weird behavior, as they made their ways over to their princess. Maybe Lance was just trying a new form of getting attention?
"What are they saying?", Pidge asked immediately. Clearly curious, as she recognized the runes as something Altean.

"I think it's a rule. It's written with magic, so we all have to follow it, whether or not we want to.", she said, deep in thought.
"Oh? So what is it?", Pidge asked interested. Keith however wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Nothing special, I think. Nothing dangerous at least. This is a prison cell that Haggar uses to extract information. I guess it makes sense her prisoners are only able to speak the truth here.
So, until she's here, we have nothing to worry about.
Since we don't have secrets from each other.", she smiled at them.

"Yeah, maybe you don't.", Lance muttered breathlessly. His eyes widened.
Keith frowned. Now was really not the time to wiggle his eyebrows and flirt with Allura.

"What does that even mean!", Allura frowned. "Lance, really. If you have anything to say, just say it. I've had enough of your attitude.", she was angry, but Lance looked cornered like a wild animal in a cage. Clearly, he hadn't meant to say that.

"I just mean there are things I don't share with you.", he said. And boy did that look odd, because Lance had his flirty grin on his face and his confidence stand on, that both fell with the realization what he had really said just now. When his face fell, something vulnerable shone through.
Keith paused. This didn't seem like Lance at all.

Allura grimaced.
"Allura – please. Could you just -"
"No Hunk. I want to hear what he has to say. So, what is it, Lance? You've got something to say, so say it. Clearly, you've not hidden from us what an awesome fighter you think you are?!"
The irony said it all.

By the looks of Lance's face, he didn't care about her choice of words. Because he was grinning again, clearly making another joke - but
"Oh, don't worry. I know I'm the worst pilot in all the galaxy.", his finger guns stopped in the middle of his rant and a pained expression replaced his former grin.

Allura's frown fell in surprise.
"Lance?", she asked, but Lance was raising his arms in defense now. Laughing as he explained.
"Don't – don't look at me like that. I didn't mean to let that slip – er."
He frowned.

He could see Hunk holding back Pidge from asking Lance even more questions. But he could only hold of one person at once. He still managed to hold Keith back with a simple glance.

"I just mean", he said pointedly. Trying to pick up where he left of. "- People have always told me how terrible I am at everything-", Lance cursed.
"Listen, I've been compared to Keith my entire life – I -", his he slapped his hand on his mouth.

He looked panic stricken. "You've got to be kidding me.", he murmured to himself.
"We really can't lie, can we?", he asked, suddenly looking dead serious. Keith blinked. Lance had been – compared to him? When did that happen?

"Lance, are you okay?", Allura asked, sounding painfully worried now.
Lance bit his lips and nodded, but his answer was still "no.". His eyes widened, but he sighed.
"Don't worry about it. It really isn't that important. When we're back on the ship, I'll just pretend I'm fine again." He sighed, hiding his face in his hand.
Okay now that didn't sound good at all.

"I don't understand. Just an hour ago you -", Allura tried to point out, but Lance barely looked through his fingers now.

"Yeah.", he said. But nothing more. Cleary he was afraid he would say anything too vulnerable again. For the first time in weeks, Keith noticed there were dark shadows under Lance's eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept for quite a while. Before, his beaming confidence and make up had hidden this feature of his face from the others. Now however, with how seriously worried he looked, they stood out like a tree in a desert.

Allura's lips gaped apart. "You were still fine then. Did something happen to you? Did – did we do something?"

Lance raised his eyebrows at that. "You think I was fine then? After calling me weak and useless in front of the entire team, you think I would be fine? You do know that I'm only human, right?", he sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that.", he sounded so calm, when he closed his eyes. His playful tone was gone now. He had no use for it anymore whatsoever.
"Look. Let's talk about this, when we're not in the middle of a giant space war please. If we must at all."
Keith swallowed. Okay, now that he thought about it, being told day and day again that you sucked was bound to hurt at some point. Keith flinched as he saw the pain in Lance's eyes. Lance's eyes, he realized, were the only thing that hadn't really changed since they got captured.

If he had paid attention before, would he have noticed how Lance's smile hardly ever reached his eyes?

"Lance, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I -", Allura tried, but Lance shook his head. Pidge and Hunk just followed the whole conversation with open mouths.

"Of course you did. You've insulted me since the day we met. You've recklessly put a bunch of teenagers in the middle of a war and told them it was their destiny to protect the universe. Now, I don't blame you for wanting to safe the world.
But you could at least be grateful we accepted and are standing by your side. Instead of blaming us for not being trained fighters.
You've done nothing but shout at me – for being incompetent. ", Lance's face scrunched into something more exasperated now. A mix of irritated and regretful.

"We all train the same amout!", Allura said, shaking her head. Keith noticed how she ignored the way Lance pointed out the way she continued to verbally abuse him.
Now that he thought about it, Lance was right. The very second Allura had laid eyes on Lance, she had lectured him about the shape of his ears.

"You really think that?!", Lance almost laughed.
"YOU train all the time, because you're a space alien whose body is made to work like that. You've been trained since you were a child!
Keith is half alien too, so he doesn't count either.", Lance already waved off what he knew Keith wanted to point out.
Shiro was a prisoner for a YEAR. His PTSD keeps him awake at night. So of course he trains more than anyone else. It's not healthy for him either. But he does, because he's paranoid. And – again. He's had a year more of practice than any of the rest of us."

"You still train as much as Hunk and Pidge do.", Allura crossed her arms, but now Lance was growing impatient.
"If you really believe that, then you are more ignorant than I thought. That is not true. Hunk and Pidge pass your tests most of the time. Because they are better than I am at literally everything.", he threw up his arms, but glanced at Hunk and Pidge apologetically. "Sorry, no offense." Where is the offense in that? Keith wondered.

"You have me rerun the entire simulation ten times a day, in hopes that I would get better at it then.
I'll have you know that you're basically just tiring me out.
On top of that, Hunk and Pidge get breaks now and then. And even then, Hunk stress bakes, while Pidge falls asleep on her laptop.
You have ME run extra rounds! And then you keep telling me to train on my own. Like five hours a day weren't enough! You might not have noticed, but I actually do that. When you're all done and Keith isn't hijacking the place, I do actually train at night."

Allura's frown deepened now. "Well Maybe, if you showed me how much that training of yours paid off and you'd sleep a little less than you usually do-"

"And who would remind Pidge that she needs to sleep, then? Who plays test dummy for hers and Hunk's experiment? Who helps Coran clean the castle? I haven't slept in three days, Allura."
Now, Lance's tone had changed to something wild. And angry.

"Yeah, and? How much sleep do you need?", Allura yelled. But it followed incredulous silence.
Hunk lowered his hand on Pidge. The humans were all frozen in shock.
"To survive, Allura -", Pidge said carefully, but Allura's head still snapped to her.
"At the very least 4 hours a day. Seven to nine, when we are supposed to function." Allura's anger faded into disbelieve, then she turned back to Lance.

The man looked exhausted, but-
"Well, maybe if you stopped acting like you couldn't do the exercises, then you'd get breaks you needed to sleep.", she defended herself. And okay, now even Keith thought she was going too far.
"Ever since those girls fluttered their eyes on you on hour last mission, you've been performing even worse."
Keith straightened himself. NOW, she got a valid point.

"Maybe you didn't notice, Allura, but on our last saving the planet stunt, I broke some of my rips.
The healing pods may help fix my body, but I am still sore all over!"
His voice was cold. But there was a challenging glint in his eyes.

"I didn't - why didn't you tell me?!", Allura now said, voice small, weaker than normal. Her will to fight, her will to argue, suddenly leaving her for concern and worry.
Keith had the vague feeling there was a lot more going on that they didn't know about.
"I tried. You didn't listen.", Lance stated matter of factly.

Allura gaped at him like a fish.

"Can you blame her, though?", finally Keith interrupted them. This was the first time he had spoken up at all during their rant.
"I mean – whenever you open your mouth, you only flirt with her. Of course she would overhear that.", he said carefully. It was meant as a jab, but Lance only chuckled lightly.

Lance looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "Of course I do. If I didn't do that, she would never get fed up with all her complaining and just – rage on everyone. That would only disrupt the team and beat down our morale." He said that like that was common knowledge.

"I thought you like her.", Keith said, eyes wide with surprise.
Startled, Lance blinked. Then he almost laughed again. Visibly fighting off whatever that was that grew in his throat. "Okay, now that is a misunderstanding. I compliment everyone at our first meeting. Well – except for Shiro. Because he was unconscious at the time.", his eyes turned from side to side, searching for the memory in thought.

"But – you flirt with her all the time!", Keith tried to explain, but Lance just shook his head.
"I really don't." It were just three words. But they blew his mind. At the sight of it, so did it to Allura and Pidge, even Hunk.

The room was quiet for a few moments.

Hunk finally let go of Pidge, who was now looking at Lance uncomfortably. She finally managed to gather the courage to talk to him, ask him something she had been wanting to ask for a while now.
"When I asked, if you guys were okay -", she began, getting all the attention now.
"You said you never were."

Lance sighed bitterly, and Keith could see Hunk biting his lip.

"That doesn't imply that you've been feeling like this – before we – stranded on an alien space ship, does it?"

It was Hunk who answered. "You remember, Iversion, right? Iversion kept comparing Lance to Keith. Telling him he didn't belong into fighter class.
That has been going on since we first came to the Garrison. Lance has been teased a lot. Even then.
He's always been -"

"Insecure.", Lance finished for him. Keith stared.

"But – no. You can't be. You've always been like this! You have always been the class clown. Even before the Garrison!", Keith finally spoke up and immediately stopped.
Lance grinned. "I knew you remember.", Lance said taking a deep breath.

"You two knew each other before the Garrison?", Hunk asked. Lance shook his head, but his answer betrayed that gesture. "Yeah. We used to be friends or sort of. Got beat up by older kids together, got to detention for fighting each other. Blamed each other for blowing up the cafeteria. Started food fights. Threw each other from a bridge.", the last part sounded darker than it actually had been. The bridge had been barely two meters up. But the water beneath had been shallow.
Lance broke his leg back then.

"I'm still sorry for that.", Keith looked down, receiving nothing but shocked glances.

"It's fine. I get it. You were an orphan. You had a lot of anger issues. My father abused me as a child before he died, so I had some of my own. Shit happens.", Lance closed his eyes, after he realized what he just said. He took another deep breath. Maybe too deep. Maybe the stares were growing too much.

"God I hate this robbeast. Let's get out of here.", Lance wiped the tears from his face with his free hand. But he looked like he had aged a couple of years during this conversation. When had he begun crying?

But only silence met his request.

"Come on guys. Before I begin telling you how much I want to see my family or fear the fact that they probably think I'm dead and already held a funeral to get over me. If they haven't forgotten about me already"
Lance hissed at that, rubbing his temples once more. "Seriously, let's get out of here. I really don't need a breakdown right now."

Pidge nodded, almost saluted at Lance's request and went to translate the runes, so she and Allura could go rewrite them.
Hunk just stood there, unsure what to say.
"Lance, that about your father -"

"He's dead, Hunk. It's over.", Lance said absentmindedly and sat down against the wall. He closed his eyes arms crossed behind his head. But Keith could see that his eyelids were shaking. That Lance was still fighting of tears.
Hunk looked like he wanted to hug Lance, but Lance wouldn't let him. They knew that.
Keith decided to sit down next to Lance, arms bend around his knees.

"You should help the others figure out the mechanics of this thing. You're good at that.", Lance said, eyes still closed. Knowing Hunk was still watching him.
"But -"

"Hunk, I've dealt with these things for years. We can talk later. Now we need your help.", Lance said. Hunk just nodded. "Just promise, you'll tell me everything later.", he demanded.
"Promise.", Lance said.

That left Lance and Keith alone, sitting next to each other on the wall of the robbeast.

"Your life sounds shit.", Keith finally said, as soon as he couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore.
"Geez, thanks Keith.", Lance chuckled at that and rolled his eyes. There was something playful in his eyes that Keith had been missing since their last argument.

Keith wanted to say something else, but closed his mouth, as he realized something.
"You – the thanks was not a lie!", he pointed out. Because, they couldn't lie here. Sarcasm didn't work. Lance was proof of that already.

Lance looked at him. "Yeah, well. At least you don't pity me.", he said, shrugging his shoulders and relaxing again.
"In fact, if I didn't know better, you sounded jealous back there.", Lance nodded his head into the past. Keith frowned.
"What do you mean?"

"We were talking about so much deep personal stuff. And the thing YOU pointed out was that I flirt with Allura. Say what you want. You DID sound jealous."

Keith bit his bottom lip. He knew, if he were to speak up now, then he'd have a problem.
"Yeah, well. I just thought all the attention from our last mission got in your head, with all the girls that were surrounding you and stuff."
Ok, heck, that really didn't help his case at all.

"Wait – ARE you jealous?", Lance chuckled, as he sat up straighter than before. Waiting for Keith's answer. That never came. Instead, Keith turned his head, trying to look anywhere but Lance so he wouldn't notice the blush on his face.

"No. No. You can't be.", Lance shook his head, punching Keith in the arm.
"You only told me last time that you were gay. You like guys – You wouldn't -"

"YOU are a guy.", Keith couldn't stop himself from saying and snapped his head back to Lance to say it. Which was a mistake, because now his blush basically slapped Lance in the face.

Lance froze before him.
Now it was his turn to say something, but he didn't seem to find the right ones.
Keith held his breath. It was now of never. "I like you, Lance. Have for a while now. I just -"
"You can't lie.", Lance whispered.
Keith sighed and rolled his eyes. "Why would I lie about that."

Then, Lance finally smiled. For the first time, tonight, his grin reaching his eyes.
Then his face turned serious again, as he put his hands on Keith's shoulders.
"Keith.", he said seriously and Keith knew this was the moment that he had feared so much. That he daydreamed about. He had seen all the possibilities. Fake ones as well as realistic ones.
This was it. This was the moment. He braced himself.

"I like you too.", Lance said.
Keith gaped, but before his brain had the chance to register the answer, his mind was already captivated by something else.
Something that softly brushed his lips and demanded his full attention.
For once – Keith didn't mind to give it his all.