It just started out as thoughts. It was manageable and not so concerning then. Just simple ideas, like 'what if I were to fly my lion into the castle at full speed' or 'what if I took the helm from Allura and flew the ship". They were crazy and irrational, it's not like I'd ever do them. Not in a million years! Just like how you'd imagine getting up and leaving during a boring discussion or think of jumping out of a moving car.

I didn't think much of it. But then it got worse. Everything I had an impulse for--wanted to do--there was a small voice urging me. Take the last brownie, ignore people talking to you, steal Keith's jacket. I didn't act on most of them still.

But the more I did act on them, the worse they got. My attitude turned sour and desires grew deeper and sometimes even darker. It made me feel low and angry. When I wasn't acting on the impulse and listening to the voice, I was splitting my head trying to ignore it.

I was sitting on the couch bouncing my leg and fiddling with a Rubix's cube I got (stole) from the space mall just a couple days ago. I felt guilty at first, but the voice in my head kept pushing it away.

Shiro walked in and the paladins followed. They were dressed up to train and they all gave me annoyed looks. "Lance, you were supposed to meet us at the training deck twenty minutes ago."

I shrugged not even looking up from the colorful cube.

"Lance. We want an explanation." Shiro said putting his hands on his hips.

I stopped fiddling with the toy and set it next to me. I stood up and looked at my teammates. The voice was telling me to stand my ground, give them a piece of my mind, let them know who's in charge.

I've never acted like that before, how will they react if I do? I've always been a pushover. I felt a wave of anger at that.

Pushover.

But how will they react?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and a breath near my ear. "Oh come on, it wouldn't hurt to just try..."

I wasn't even startled by the contact. I was already familiar with it. It was the voice.

No. I keep calling it 'the voice' like it's a separate entity, but it's me. I know it is.

I looked up from the ground making eye contact with Shiro who was still looked at me expectantly. "I didn't feel like it." I said lowly and tilted my head slightly.

"Good! Good!" The voice praised. "Don't stop there..."

"Lance," Shiro spoke sternly, "training isn't an option. We do it to-"

"I'm gonna stop you there. What are you gonna do about it anyway? Give me an angry look?" I folded my arms.

"Lance, if you refuse to train... then..., then we'll have no choice but to remove you from the team." Shiro almost seemed sad to even threaten the idea.

I couldn't hold back a laugh, "Don't tempt me," I glanced at the others who all looked shocked and hurt. I knew I should feel miserable at the sight, I would have before. But now... now it actually made me want to laugh.

I faltered at the realization. What's happening to me?

I quickly looked over my shoulder to the source of the voice but nothing was there. I turned back to my teammates and felt I ping in my chest at the damage I caused.

I dropped my arms from their folded position and stuttered. How do I fix this? Can I even fix this?

"Why bother? You never asked to be part of this team anyway." The voice chuckled. I looked up to see me. Me, with yellow eyes, my black under suit, and leaning against Keith with an elbow on his shoulder.

"Lance..." Shiro began.

I didn't want to hear what he has to say. It's all too much, too overwhelming, too insane. I turned and briskly walked to my room. When the door shut, I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. I felt so out of control.

"Out of control? That was the most control you've ever had!" I looked up to see 'me' standing with arms crossed.

"But the way they looked at me..." I said lost.

"So what? They only looked at you like that because they're used to pushing you around. You need to start showing them who's boss around here." It leaned down to be face level with me.

"But..." I started, but a knock at the door cut me off. I glanced at the door and when I looked back it was gone. I scanned my room wondering where it went. Another knock broke me from my trance. "Uh, coming!" I stood up still frazzled and opened it.

Keith stood there looking unsure of himself.

"Oh, uh, hi." I felt my panic melt away slightly.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure, of course," I stepped aside and he passed me.

I shut the door and turned around to see the entity was back and was looking Keith up and down. "You want him to be yours?" I nodded. "Then do what I tell you. Give in."

"Lance, you didn't seem like yourself..." he shifted his weight to one foot, "I wanted to check on you."

"Didn't seem like myself? You mean a pushover?" I laughed walking toward him standing tall and confident.

"Lance, are you okay?" Keith's eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh I'm definitely okay now that you're here babe." I looked him up and down.

"What are you-?" His eyes widened.

I stopped a mere inch from Keith and smiled mischievously. "C'mon Keith, I know you're thinking it to." I winked.

Letting this control me, letting this take charge, I don't feel like myself. It's like I'm watching a movie. Can I even control myself? I attempted to move my arm but only received a small twitch from my fingers.

Keith's eyes were blown wide and I pulled him into a kiss. He seemed to kiss back slightly but when he went to pull away, I still held him there. I gave his lip a small bite and he immediately pushed himself away. "That's not- you aren't Lance." He spoke sternly moving his hand over his knife.

Something in my chest swelled. "Keith..." I spoke. I spoke. "God, I- help,"

He pushed past me quickly running for help. As I watched him vanish, I felt myself being submerged again, paralyzed.

"Where you going Keithy?" I called out after him. "Looking for the others?"

I slowly walked down the hall after Keith and took my time. When I walked onto the deck, I was met with my teammates all holding weapons high.

"Ah, you'd shoot your own teammate would you?" I hummed slipping my hands in my pockets.

"You aren't Lance." Keith grumbled.

"Oh, but I am." I smiled leaning forward, "I mean, physically that is."

"Let him go." Shiro demanded.

"Why would I do that? This is the greatest shield I could ever ask for!" I took a step forward and Shiro took a tentative step back.

"What do you want?" Allura frowned.

"To destroy Voltron of course." I laughed.

"How are you controlling Lance?" Hunk asked sadly.

"Oh, that's the best part! He gave me control!" Laughing erupted from me.

I felt a sinking in my chest. I did give him control. This was all my fault.

"Stop lying." Pidge snapped.

"No, no! Really! All I had to do was pick the most vulnerable paladin. Lance, such a pushover, so lonely, self conscious, and the terrible self confidence... he was perfect! You know, he actually fought me pretty good for a while there. I actually started to think it wasn't going to work." I let out a small chuckle. "Oh but then I promised I'd help him. Promised him that I'd help him win over the heart of the red paladin and he handed me control on a silver platter."

Keith's sword dipped and at the realization.

I watched unable to do anything. I attempted to move my arm again and my fingers moved even less than last time.

I laughed, "He's trying to fight me now. Stupid boy. He's far too late."

Keith's eyes flickered with an idea. "Lance, fight him! Fight him! C'mon, give him hell. You can fight better than that!"

I looked at him pitifully. "Well that's just sad."

"C'mon sharpshooter!" Shiro joined.

"Fork him up!" Pidge shouted.

The paladins were all yelling encouragements to Lance.

I felt my eyes well with tears. I can't!

I noticed my vision was disoriented by tears. I was physically crying despite my lack of control. I jerked my arm as hard as I could and my hand gave a squeeze.

"Bloody brat." I muttered.

"C'mon Lance! Keith will kiss you if you fight him off!" Hunk suggested a little reward.

Keith gave him a short glare but didn't argue.

I thrashed as much as I could, jolting every limb with conviction.

Lance fell to his knees drained of all energy.

Keith dropped his sword on the ground and ran forward to help him, unsure if it was really Lance he was helping or not. He had an arm wrapped around Lance holding him up with his head rolled into Keith's shoulder.

"Lance...?"

His eyes opened slowly and he gripped his head in pain. "Keith... I was the one who stole your jacket."

Keith felt relief wash over him and pulled Lance into a bone snapping hug.

It's been a few days since the incident. I laid in bed still feeling guilty. I put everyone in danger because of my weakness, it was all my fault.

I had a killer headache when I came to and wound up sleeping almost 24 hours straight.

As for Keith, we haven't really spoken one on one since. If he didn't actually hate me before, he must now. I bet the team was talking about me right now, probably voting to kick me off the team. I don't blame them. I at least hope I can tell them just how sorry I am. I want them to at least forgive me.

There was a knock at the door and I sat up. Here it comes. 'Get ready to start packing', I thought. "Come in."

His teammates all filed in, none of them were smiling. "How are you feeling?" Shiro asked.

"I'm good." I slid out from under my covers to sit on the edge of my bed instead. "Whatever it was is gone now. For good."

"We're so sorry Lance..." Shiro started, shaking his head.

"It's okay, I understand." I nodded looking at the ground. "I'll need some time to pack..." I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I screwed up so bad.

"Wait what?" Shiro looked surprised.

"You're booting me from the team, right?" I looked up.

"Of course not!" Shiro shook his head quickly.

"Then... why are you apologizing?" I asked confused.

"We're teammates, we should've been there for you and we should've noticed when something was wrong." Allura answered.

"None of this was your guys' fault." I shook my head. "I was the one who let it in and let it control me-."

"You couldn't help it Lance." Shiro put a hand on my shoulder.

"I could have." I argued looking away.

"It's behind us now." Shiro assured. "Let's not dwell on it any more."

"And you're really okay with me staying on the team?" I asked one last time.

"Of course, Lance we need you. We can't do this without you." Shiro smiled. "Our friendship and your spot here is not fragile."

I felt a smile tug at my lips and I pulled Shiro into a hug. The others joined in and the group hug ensued. "Thank you guys." I mumbled into the mush of clothes.

"Let's let you get a bit more rest. Hunk is making pasta tonight, so we'll see you at dinner." Shiro said leading them out.

Keith pretended to walk out, following last. When he reached the door however, he shut it and turned around.

"I think we should talk." Keith muttered.

I felt a sinking in my chest. Here it comes.

"Was that stuff all true?" Keith asked walking to where I was sitting.

I nodded pursing my lips and looking down at the floor.

"Good." He grabbed my hands and pulled me to stand up. His lips connected with mine and I gently pulled him close. My right hand glided across his cheek and brushed through his hair.

When we parted, Keith looked up at me with bright eyes. "You still haven't given me my jacket back."

My cheeks turned a bright red. "Heh...right."