;WARNING; CUSSING, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION AND THOUGHTS OF DEATH.

THIS IS MY FIRST ANGSTY FIC SO SORRY IF IT SUCKS

LANCES POV

"YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED LANCE!! CANT YOU JUST FOLLOW ONE ORDER!?" I glared at the floor as Keith towered over me. I clenched my fists, biting back comments and sitting in my chair as still as possible. My body rigid in anger. The team and I had to go on a mission today without Shiro because of his injurys in the last fight. He had put Keith in charge and that didn't really go well.

Pidge looked at me with dissapointment and annoyance. Hunk was trying not to look angry. Keith, however, was seething in rage. I realized he was waiting for my reply. I tried to think of an answer...but I dont know. I dont know why I just can't follow his orders. "I don't know". I whispered, the guilt and hot embaressment stabbing at my stomache. "You don't know, huh?" Keith growled out. "Well not knowing almost HURT the team today!!" Keith exploded again. My fists shook with restrained anger. Keith was still fuming. "You need to listen Lance. I don't care if you hate me. Stop running your mouth and just listen. Maybe if you did that you wouldn't always make these stupid mistakes-."  

I snapped and stood up out of my chair. I would let him call me many things, but being a stupid mistake is NOT one of them. Everyone back on Earth thought I was stupid, just one huge hilarious mistake waiting to drop out. I got right in Keith's face. "I do not make stupid mistakes." Keith scoffed. "Is that right?" Hunk felt the tension rise and tried to intervene. "Hey, guys, come on lets just drop it." I ignored my friends request and glowered at Keith. "Lets get out of here". Pidge rushed (him/her)self and Hunk out of the room. "I do not make stupid mistakes." I spat once again. Keith's scowl deepened. "Yeah right. Then who's the one who always gets us in trouble? Who's the one that always leads us to dangerous situations without regard for anyone else? I call that stupid if you ask me."

I paused for a moment. He was right. I do make alot of those mistakes. I tried to push down the swelling sadness in my chest. I am a huge, big mistake. And everyone thinks that. Keith thinks that. Yeah, it is true that I love the angry mullet-haired boy. But obviously he doesn't return the same feelings. He said I am a mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Being apart of Voltron is a mistake. I always knew I held everyone back. I knew that I was the worst person for the job. I gasped as I felt the cool tear run down my face. I turned away from his confused and shocked face. "I'm a mistake". I mumbled. "What?" Keith whispered, all anger gone.

I tried to stop my shaking voice and replied. "Y-Your right. I'm a mistake..." Tiny sobs racked my chest. I tried to wipe away the tears, but it was like an endless stream of ocean pouring out of my eyes. Before Keith could speak again I continued. "I am one h-huge hilarious fuck up. I h-hold everyone back. Don't you t-think I know t-that?" I spun back to Keith, anger mixing in with my sadness. Keith was shocked into silence. The sobs were almost full on now. I panted to catch my breathe. I fisted my hair and let the tears flow, sobbing. "God I am such a fucking let down. I am the least qualified person for this job." I blinked my eyes rapidly. I sobbed and let my hair go, looking for something to throw or punch. I saw my chair and kicked it over with an enraged cry. 

Keith finally snapped out of his daze and came to me. "Lance don't say that you are-". I jerked away from him. "I know what everyone thinks of me Keith. Don't you dare say that i'm valuable. I am the LEAST VALAUBLE PERSON HERE!!" My voice constricted with anger and overwhelming depression. My hands fisted my hair again and panted. I was almost hyperventalating now. "I know what you think of me." Keith froze again waiting for me to say more. My conciouss was gone now and I let everything fly. "You hate me. You despise me and I hate that. I hate it so much it hurts. Because all I can do is love you." I spat sadly. My vison blurred with tears but I saw his jaw go slack. I continued. "I love you so much it hurts. When you glare at me it hurts. When you ignore me it hurts. When you yell at me it hurts. Everything hurts and I cant. take. it. Because you will never feel the same."

A large silence settled in the room. I didnt know what to say or do. A cold wave rolled through my chest as I realized I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I wanted to die....I want to die. The coldness seeped through the rest of my body. The ice in my viens making my body rigid and numb. It would be so easy. So easy. Just to give up and stop all of the hurting. We werent ever going back to Earth anyways. No one would notice. The team could finally beat the Galara's (SORRY THIS IS PROBABLY NOT RIGHT PLEASE CORRECT ME!! AND PLEASE DONT BE AN ASSHOLE ABOUT IT!! THANKS!!) and live in peace. I want to die.  "I want to die".

I hadn't meant to say it outloud, but I did. Another pause came over the room, this one more tense and vibrant than the last. Kieth stalked forward and gripped my arms. "What did you just say?" Keith seethed. I let another tear fall. "I want to die." "No." I looked at him incrediously. "What?" He looked so...mad. Concerned? How could he be mad? He hates me. He doesn't care. "You are NOT dying." I scoffed sadly and tried to shove him away. He gripped me tighter. "DONT YOU FUCKING WALK AWAY DAMN IT!!" I scowled at him. He glared right back. "Let me die. Let me do this, it's best for the team. It will be fast and everyone can just move on." Keith looked gobsmacked. "Lance killing yourself isnt right for the team!" I tried to speak but he cut me off. "WE NEED YOU!! Dont say that you aren't valuable. You are so important." I shook my head. "Please don't say that." 

Keith had his anger back. "DAMN IT LANCE! YOU CAN'T KILL YOURSELF. YOU WON'T. THINK ABOUT HUNK, PIDGE, SHIRO, CORAN! WE CAN'T JUST FUCKING MOVE ON. WE NEED YOU. THINK ABOUT THEM!! T-Think about me." He lost his heat at the end of the sentence. I was confused now. "What about you?" He gazed up at me sadly. "Im sorry I made you feel this way. I hate myself for it. I didnt know how much my actions affected you. I...Lance I love you. And im so sorry that I made you feel like this. So please don't die. We need you. I need you." The boy who always kept up a large wall around his heart was now crumbling before me in tears.

I felt like my whole world just exploded. "You....love...me?" I asked hesitantly, hoping for him to say yes. He nodded, tears still streaming. I felt all of my air vanish. He loves me. This whole time...he's loved me? I hadn't noticed I was pulling him forward until he spoke to me. "Lance what are you-?" I silenced him with a kiss. It was soft but passionate. It wasn't desperate or needy. It was loving and raw, sweet passion. Keith moaned and wrapped his arms around my neck, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. I happily responded. We kissed until we needed to breathe. I pulled back and looked at his adorable flushed face and blown pupils.

"I love you". I whispered. He smiled and let the happy tears flow. "I love you."

GAHAHAHAHAG SORRY THIS SSUSUSUSUSSUSCCKCKCKCSSS🎊😂🎊😂🎊😂🎊😂