*rape mention warnings still apply*

(4164 words)

Lance's POV:

Keith hugged me until I really did feel better. I was glad we were getting along now, I really needed a hug.

"Let's get you something to eat. Allura guessed when you'd be waking up so Hunk made your favorite for dinner." He smiled at me.

I nodded and stood up but I still felt dizzy, "Whoa..." I went to sit back down but Keith ended up just grabbing me to keep me steady.

"The pod's effects should have worn off by now." He mumbled and kept a hold of me.

"Maybe it's because I haven't eaten? I didn't eat at all while held by the Galra. And then I spent how many days in the pod?" I looked at him.

He nodded a bit, "Four days with the Galra and three days in the pod... You haven't eaten in a week." he frowned and just lifted me up bridal style.

I blushed and looked at him, "Y-You don't have to carry me. I'll be fine if you just hold on to me."

"This is easier." He shrugged and started to carry me put of my room and down the hall.

I sighed, knowing that once he has his mind set on something there is no stopping him, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He carried me into the dining room, everyone was there and staring, "He can't walk on his own, his body is feeling the effects of a week without any food. He gets dizzy every time he stands up." He set me down in my seat.

Everyone seemed to understand, looks of realization on their faces. Hunk stood up, "I'll get you two plates."

"Thank you," I said as Keith sat down beside me.

Hunk came over with our food and gave it to us before going back to his own seat to finish his food. I smiled and started to eat happily, it was my favorite. I ate the whole thing at record speed, I was so hungry.

"Do you want some more?" Keith asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm starving!"

Literally...

Keith nodded and got up to get me a second helping. Pidge looked at me, "Is dizziness your only symptom?"

I shrugged, "My stomach was all uneasy but it's better now that I've started eating."

"Are you cold?" She raised her eyebrow at me.

"Uh yeah. I just didn't think that was worth mentioning.." Keith gave me my food before sitting down again.

"It's just a sign that your body was using its nutrients and energy to keep you alive and wasn't working as hard to regulate your internal temperature. You'll probably feel super cold all the time for the next few days until your body is back to normal." Pidge said as I started eating.

I nodded, "I guess that makes sense, good to know." I kept eating.

She nodded and went back to messing with some little metal box and a tangle of thin, short wires. Matt was looking at it with her, trying to tell her what to do. But she already knew and was, like, five steps ahead of him. It was entertaining to watch.

"Katie, you gotta attach the blue wire to the re-" "I know, but first I need the green wire to go to the white port." "Oh, right, right. Didn't see that... Did you tape the red wire?" "Yeah, like, ten minutes ago."

I smiled and looked down at my plate, finishing up my food. I yawned a bit when I was done.

"Why don't you go to bed early, Lance." Allura suggested, "You need plenty of rest."

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm tired..."

Pidge looked up again, "Not eating for a week will cause you to be super sleepy. Just so you know." She looked back at her mess of wires.

I nodded again, "Thanks for the information. Keith, can you help me back?" I turned to face him.

"Yeah, of course." He went to pick me up but I stopped him.

"I can walk on my own if you hold my arm," I said as I held his arm to stand up.

He nodded and held on to me, "Okay, but if you struggle I'm going to pick you up again."

We walked back to my room, arm in arm. I did struggle a bit, but I wouldn't let him carry me. Once he helped me to my bed, I laid down immediately.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" He covered me with my blanket that had fallen to the morning before I was captured.

I shook my head, "I'll be fine. You go do whatever you want."

He nodded and handed me a communication transmitter we use during missions sometimes, they're basically fancy walkie-talkies, "I know we use these for missions but I want you to be able to get a hold of me if you need me."

I took it with a smile, "Thank you, but I doubt I'll need it."

He shrugged, "Just in case... Goodnight, Lance."

"Goodnight, Keith," I smiled at him as he left my room.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep.

Keith's POV:

I left Lance's room and went back to the dining room, everyone was still there.

"How is he doing?" Allura asked with a sigh.

I sat down, "Better than expected... I asked how he was feeling before dinner. He said scared and depressed. But who wouldn't be? Especially because the man who did this to him is on this ship."

"He won't be for long," Shiro said.

I nodded, "Yeah, I know. I gave Lance a communication transmitter. I didn't want to leave him alone without one. I was hoping it'd help him feel safer to know he can reach us that easily."

"That was smart," Hunk said, "What he went through had to be traumatizing. He's bound to get bad nightmares for a while. At least the war is over. We can focus on helping Lance, no distractions."

"Well, some distractions," Pidge said, adjusting her glasses, "The Galra have been defeated but they left so much ruin. The universe is going to need a lot of help. That and we have to figure out what to do with Lotor."

Shiro sighed, "Pidge is right. We'll have to do so much outreach work. We're the paladins of voltron. We can't just disappear once the fighting is over."

I clenched my fist, "Will it ever be over? The Galra are gone but we're still fighting for our lives. Lance could break at any moment. I'm surprised he managed to stay strong this long. He's fucking smiling. How he can manage that after everything that happened to him is beyond me. I was wrong when I said he isn't as strong as us. He's the strongest out of all of us. But even the strongest can be broken."

Everyone looked down, knowing I was right.

Allura put her hands over her face for a moment before looking back at everyone, "We split up. One of us stays with Lance, one of us works on Lotor, and the rest of us work on outreach."

Shiro nodded, "I'll work on Lotor. I've been doing all the interrogation so far anyway."

"I'll stay with Lance," I immediately said, "We're going to have to be down two paladins anyway. Allura can't stay behind, we need her to be able to open worm holes. I'd suggest Matt but Lance barely knows him. He needs someone he'll be comfortable with."

"What about Coran?" Hunk suggested.

Allura shook her head, "He's navigating the castleship. That's why he's not here right now. We'd never stay on course without him. I can't man the command room alone, I can't open worm holes and navigate at the same time."

"Then it's settled," I said, "Allura and Coran will man the command room, Shiro will interrogate Lotor, I'll stay with Lance, and the rest of you work on outreach."

Everyone nodded, no one objecting.

Thank god. I didn't want to fight someone over being able to stay with Lance. I have to finally tell him I love him, I need to be alone with him to do it.

Shiro stood, "Let's all get some rest. We're going to have one hectic day ahead of us once we get all this in motion."

With that, we all went back to our rooms.

It was hard to sleep. All I could think about was Lance. How scared he must've been. How painful it must've been. How scared he must be now.

I had been staring at the ceiling for a couple hours when Lance's voice came through my transmitter, "K-Keith?"

I immediately sat up, grabbing it, "What is it?"

"I-I need you..."

"I'll be right there," I quickly left my room and went across the hall to Lance's, I walked inside to see Lance curled up in the corner of his bed, crying, "What happened?" I sat on the edge of his bed.

"I-I had a nightmare..." He had his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them.

I sighed, "It was just a dream-"

"No," He shook his head, "A memory."

I frowned, shifting so I was sitting next to him now, "Well, it's over. You're safe now. I'll stay with you as long as you need me to."

Lance whimpered before reached over and wrapping his arms around my arm, clinging to me like his life depended on it, "Stay the night."

I nodded, "As long as you need me to."

Lance buried his face into my arm, still crying.

I sighed, grabbing the blanket with my free hand and pulling it up over him again, "Try to get back to sleep... I'll be here when you wake up."

Lance nodded, still clinging on to me. Over the next half hour his crying slowly came to a stop and his arms went limp. He finally cried himself to sleep.

I laid him down carefully before getting up. I sat on the floor so he could have the bed to himself.

That's how I stayed until morning. I must've managed to doze off because I woke up to Lance shaking my shoulder.

I rubbed my eyes before looking up at him, "What is it?" he was still in bed.

He tugged on my shirt, "Come up here."

I nodded, sitting on the bed again, "Another nightmare?" He pushed me to lay down, "Woah, okay-"

He cut me off with a kiss.

And then I woke up.

For real this time.

I was still on the floor.

I had dreamt it.

I ran my hands over my face, "Shit..." I grumbled before looking at Lance. He was still sleeping. I heard movement in the hall, everyone was waking up. Or already up. I had no idea what time it was.

I stood up and opened the door, seeing Shiro leaving his room, "Hey, Shiro."

He walked over, "Lance called for you last night?"

I nodded, "Nightmare. Would you mind getting me something to eat? I'm hungry but I told him I'd stay with him, that I'd be here when he woke up."

"Of course, I'll be right back."

He left down the hall and I sat back down by the bed again. I watched Lance sleep, he looked peaceful. You would never guess what had happened to him. He looked just fine. Well, he looked skinnier than before. But other than that he was fine.

Shiro came into the room, "How is he?" He whispered, handing me a bowl.

I sighed, "He cried himself to sleep after his nightmare and has been out ever since."

Shiro sat down next to me as I started to eat, "I shouldn't have let us split up... If he wasn't alone... Maybe he wouldn't have been captured." He only had conversations like this with me.

I set my bowl aside even though I'd only taken a couple bites, "Shiro, none of this is your fault. We got separated because the fight was pulling us in different directions. You couldn't stop that if you tried. And none of us could've expected... This."

Shiro nodded, putting one hand in his hair, "I know that deep down. But still. I'm the team leader, the black paladin. I'm the one in charge of keeping everyone safe. But instead... This."

I grabbed his hand, "We'll work through it. Lance will be okay. I'm afraid he might get worse before he gets better. But he will get better."

"I've got to get to interrogation. The Galra are defeated, not dead. They might have a trick or two up their sleeve still. You can never be too safe."

I nodded, "Go on. I'll be here."

He stood up, he pat my head before leaving.

I started eating again with a sigh. I finished eating fairly quickly and set my bowl aside again. It was thirty minutes after I finished that I heard whimpering.

I quickly turned to face Lance, he was shivering a bit. I couldn't tell if he was cold or scared. Pidge said he'd be cold. I didn't know if I should wake him or grab him another blanket. Both?

But I didn't have to decide. Lance suddenly sat up, backing up against the wall in a panic.

I sat on the bed, "Lance, calm down. You're okay!" I grabbed his hands, "Look at me."

Lance looked at me, starting to calm down after. Tears started forming in his eyes, "Keith..."

I scooted closer and pulled me into a hug, "You're okay. It was just a nightmare. You're safe in your room. Nothing can hurt you here."

He hugged me back tightly, "You stayed..."

"Of course I stayed. I'm not leaving your side."

He pulled away a bit, he was still shivering, "Never?"

"If you want, then never," He rubbed his upper arm, "Are you cold?" He nodded so I got up to grab his jacket, then I wrapped it around him, "Is that better?"

He nodded again, "Thank you..." he looked down, still shivering.

It's both. Scared and cold.

I sighed, "Are you hungry? Let's get you some breakfast."

He shook his head, "I want to stay here."

"Lance, you have to eat. You were starved for a week, it shows. You have to eat breakfast."

He shook his head again, "I want to stay right here."

"Then I'll get some food and bring it here."

I started to stand but he quickly grabbed my arm, "No!"

I sat back down, "Either I'm leaving to get you breakfast or we're both leaving to get breakfast. You have to pick one."

He started to tear up, "Don't leave me. You said never."

I sighed, "I suppose we can wait a little bit..."

He still gripped my arm tightly, "It's safe in here...."

I scooted closer, "The whole castle is safe. I promise."

"No," He shook his head, "He's here.."

"He's with Shiro. He can't escape. He can't get to you. And you're with me. I won't let you get hurt again," I reached over to touch his cheek, getting him to look at me again, "I promise."

He suddenly reached over and pulled me into a hug, "Never leave."

I hugged him back, "Never."

I knew he wouldn't last.

Why did I have to be right?

I pulled away a bit to look at him, "Let's get you some food now. Okay?"

"O-Okay..." He nodded. But when he stood up, he stumbled again.

I quickly caught him, "And this exactly why you can't skip breakfast," I held on to him as we walked to the kitchen together, then I helped him sit at the counter.

He smiled just a tiny bit, "Thank you."

There it is again, that smile.

"You're welcome," I turned around, feeling myself starting to tear up. I rubbed my eyes and composed myself before getting him some food.

I set the food in front of him before sitting next to it, "Tell me if you want more."

I wanted to tell him I loved him. But I couldn't. Not now. Not when he's like this.

He ate quickly, after he looked at me, "More?"

I smiled at him, "Of course," I took his bowl and got him more food then sat next to him again, "You can have us much as you want."

He nodded before starting to eat again, slower this time.

He's not acting like himself. If we don't find a way to help him, we might lose him all together.

I felt myself tearing up again, but this time I didn't hide it in time. He looked at me with a frown, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," I rubbed my eyes, "Just eat your food."

"I'm done," He pushed the bowl away, "What's wrong?"

I sighed, "I'm fine, Lance. Don't worry about it." I stood up and took his bowl to the sink, "Do you want to go back to your room?"

"I want you to tell me what's wrong," He crossed his arms.

He was just still scared from his nightmare before, he's feeling better now.

I sighed, he was still our Lance underneath all the fear. Our stubborn Lance. He wasn't broken yet. Just... cracking. But he could be repaired.

"Lance, I'm fine. Let's just get you back."

Lance shook his head, "No."

I sat down, "Lance... I just... I'm scared."

"Of... him?" He didn't dare say his name anymore.

I shook my head, "No... I'm scared you won't be okay... After what he did to you..."

He looked down, "Oh."

I reached over to hold him hand, "Which is why I'm going to stay with you until I know you're better again. I promise."

He looked up at me, "Why? I always thought you hated me."

I shook my head, "No, I- I just..."

Now or never.

"I hated myself because I thought you hated me.. I... I love you."

Lance's eyes widened a bit, "You love... me?"

I chuckled a bit, "Why are you so surprised?"

"Because you're mean."

"Yeah, that's true," I looked down and rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb, "I'm just horrible with emotions. I didn't even really know what my true feels were for you until you were captured. I just knew my feelings for you made me confused, and I didn't like that. And I took it out on you. I'm sorry for that."

He was watching me while I spoke, I could feel him staring, "How did you figure it out?"

I looked back up at him, "When you were captured, I couldn't stop thinking about you. When you spent three days in the healing pod, I sat there all day everyday. Just waiting for you to come out. I sat there thinking about you all day for three days. I finally figured it out. And Allura gave me a bit of a pep talk a few hours before you came out. I don't think I'd be telling you all this if she hadn't."

He nodded, "You really love me?"

"Do you want me to prove it to you?"

He smiled, shaking his head, "I think you already have..."

I looked down at our hands again, "So... How does knowing this make you feel?"

He leaned over and kissed my cheek, "That's how I feel."

I looked up at him, and when I did he kissed me on the lips. I was surprised but I quickly relaxed into the kiss, putting my free hand on the side of his face as I kissed back.

He pulled away after a moment, "I love you too. I have for a long time. I just thought you hated me."

I smiled, "We loved each other but never said anything because we thought we hated each other. Funny how that works. Thank god for Allura."

He chuckled a bit, "She's the best."

He's laughing. How is he able to laugh? He's so much stronger than I thought.

I kissed his forehead, "Be mine..."

He looked at me, "Like, your boyfriend?"

I nodded.

He smiled, "That sounds amazing."

I held both of his hands now, "I'm never leaving you. Not until I know you're better. And maybe not even after that."

He hugged me, "Thank you..."

I hugged him back, "Don't thank me. Just promise me you'll be okay," I felt myself tearing up again.

He pulled away enough to look at me and put his hands on my cheeks, "I'll be okay. You're here to help me."

I smiled, "I'll do everything I can to help you."

"I know."

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

One Year Later

Lance's POV:

"You really thought you could escape me? It's been so long since I touched you, I've been dying to do it again."

I backed up against the wall, Lotor coming towards me with that hungry look in his eyes, "D-Don't! Please!" I was crying again. Like a fucking baby.

Lotor just chuckled, put his hand on my cheek, "Maybe I'll keep you as my pet instead of returning you to your team."

He had said that last time he captured me. I tried to push him away but he was so much stronger than me.

And then I woke up.

I still felt a hand on my cheek. But it wasn't Lotor's. It was Keith's.

"Lance! Calm down, look at me! It's a dream!"

I calmed a bit, stopping my thrashing and pushing, "K-Keith..." He was sitting up over me, doing his best to calm me from my nightmare.

He smiled, "It's okay, I'm here," He kissed my forehead, "I'm here."

I put my hand on his wrist so he couldn't pull his hand away, I didn't want him to stop touching me. It was comforting when he did it, "I-I'm sorry..."

Keith sighed, "You know you have nothing to be sorry for."

I nodded, "Hold me."

He laid down again, pulling me close, "You haven't had one that bad in two months..."

"It feels so real... It's not memories anymore."

"What is it then?" He ran a hand through my hair.

I leaned into his hand, "He gets me again."

"He killed himself. He's gone. He can never get you again."

I nodded, I knew he was gone. Victory of death. He lost so he resorted death.

He can't touch me ever again. Ever.

I did my best to reassure myself, "Y-Yeah... He's gone."

Keith checked the time, "It's almost time to wake up anyway. Do you want to go eat?" He was always trying to get me to eat. I didn't eat a lot the first few months after it all happened.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I sat up, "I'm sorry I woke you up."

Keith sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist, "I told you, there's nothing to be sorry for. So stop apologizing."

"Sorry- I mean- Okay..."

He kissed my cheek and pulled me closer, "Let me hold you a moment longer."

"You were the one who decided we should get up," I chuckled, leaning into him.

He sighed, "I know, I know. I changed my mind. I just want to keep holding you."

"I have no objections," I turned to kiss him.

He gets more upset than I do after my nightmares. Well, after I calm down that is.

Keith pulled me even closer, on to his lap, "I love you so much..."

"I love you too," I kissed his cheek before laying against his chest again, "We can stay here as long as you want."

He nodded, going silent. He stayed like that for another ten minutes before he let my waist go, "Okay.."

I got off his lap and stood up, I kissed him before pulling him to stand up too, "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? You're the one who just had a nightmare about... That," He looked down.

I put my hand on his cheek, "Yes, but you're the one who gets like this every time I have a nightmare or panic attack. You get especially bad after my panic attacks." We had tried to have sex once and I had a panic attack. He was like this for days, he felt guilty. Anything that reminds me too much of those four days causes it. But it's rare.

"It's just... Whenever I think you're okay again.. You're not.."

I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder, "I am okay. I'm just still recovering."

He wrapped his arms around me again, "I know, I promised you though-"

"You promised me you'd stay with me until I'm better, and you have. We're practically glued at the hip," At first he stayed around because I needed him to. Now he does it because we're so used it, it feels wrong to be apart.

He kissed my cheek, "Let's just get breakfast."

"Okay," I pulled away and grabbed his hand, we walked down the hall hand in hand.

I'm okay.

Thanks to him.

*whoop de doop i don't like the ending but here. take it*