#1 Thor and Loki

"Ah Stark," Thor smiled clapping Tony on the back. "congratulations on fatherhood."

Tony frowned, "I'm not his dad Thor."

"You're not?"

"No, I'm his temporary guardian."

Thor nodded, "Good. A child with you as the father may not turn out quite right."

"Hey! I could adopt Peter and then I'd be a great dad!"

"Last time someone I knew adopted a child that child became Loki."

"I think that's an insult to all adopted children ever."

~~Later~~

"What book is that?" Peter asked sitting down.

"One you have never heard of."

"Oh... Well what is it about?"

Loki closed his book and looked up with an annoyed smile, "Is there something you'd like Mr. Parker?"

"Well not really- I was just- just wanting to talk to you."

"And why ever would you want that? Hasn't Stark trained you better?"

"Well uh, I know they all seem to hate you but I don't really know why. And no one is telling me anything, so I thought I'd talk to you."

Loki paused, "You have heard about the day aliens invaded New York I trust?"

"Well yeah, everyone has."

Loki gave him a wicked smile as he leaned in closer, "I'm the one who caused that."

"Oh."

Peter fell silent, but he didn't move or leave. After a moment or so Loki opened his book and began to read once more, though he couldn't properly get back into it with the boy beside him.

"Are you just gonna sit there?"

Peter nodded his mind racing, Running away will make him more likely to kill me, if I surprise him I'll probably live longer. Realizing he hadn't said anything he spoke and his voice came out squeak, "Yes?" He cleared his throat. "Uh... what are you reading?"

"You already asked me that."

"Oh."

Loki gave a sigh and stood, "I'm going to read elsewhere."

Peter started breathing normally again once he was gone.

#2 Building

"A building?" Tony repeated slowly.

Peter nodded, "Yeah, but it was empty though!" He said quickly. "So when the Vulture Guy made it fall on me no one got hurt! So you don't have to worry!"

Tony didn't respond as he put his head in his hands, "A building," he said again.

"Uhuh," Peter continued. "And then I started freaking out a bit cause I couldn't move or anything, it was hard to breathe, and it hurt it all and then I saw my mask and my reflection and I remembered what you said!"

"What I said?" Tony echoed.

"Yeah, about if I'm 'nothing with the suit then I shouldn't have it' thing. So I realized I am Spider-Man! And then I lifted the building up and escaped and went after the Vulture and then-"

"A building ."

"Yes, I said that already," Peter said a bit of annoyed looking over to Tony. "A-are you okay? You look kinda pale."

"No."

#3 Loki and Peter

"Is that magic?"

"Yes."

"Whoa, what else can you do?"

"I don't cater to the requests of children, I'm sure Stark is looking for you anyway."

"He'll get over it! Please Mr. Loki! Your magic is awesome! I mean how did you learn it? Was it fun? God you're so cool!"

"Awesome...? Cool...?"

"Yeah!"

Loki cleared his throat and stood up a bit straighter, "Well I suppose I can show you some magic for a bit... I'm especially good at illusions and shapeshifting."

#4 Ned

"How are you son?"

"I'm fine Mr. Captain America... even though I feel like I might faint from the awesomeness of shaking your hand."

"Ah, well uh, why don't you sit down?"

"...I'm sitting in a room with the Avengers... Peter I just want to thank you for existing and being my friend."

Peter smiled, "I try."

#5 Trash

"I'm nothing more than trash, someone take me out already."

"Do not speak of yourself in such a way!" Thor shouted suddenly. "Young Peter I have not had the pleasure of knowing your company for long but I can assure you there is no need for you to speak of yourself in such a way. You are a clever, strong, and brave young man. A true hero at that. One who-"

"It's just a phrase Thor," Tony interrupted.

"You could've let him keep going," Peter muttered despite his blush.

"A phrase?" Thor repeated.

"It's something kids say," Tony clarified.

"Why would they ever say such terrible and dehumanizing things about themselves?"

Tony shrugged, "They're teenagers, Thor. It's the aesthetic."

#6 Sick
"I'm fine Tony..."

"No you're not."

"Honestly you look worse than I feel. Did you even sleep?"

"He was up all night worried," Sam told Peter. "We tried to get him to sleep, but no dice."

"Tony," Peter groaned before he coughed a few times. "I'll be fine in a day or two."

Tony didn't look convinced, "This can't just be a cold though. You shouldn't be able to get colds. So what if it's worse, huh?"

"If you are so paranoid we can watch him while you sleep Tony," Steve offered.

"Nope," Tony said immediately shaking his head. "I trust you all to help save the world, and cover my ass, but not with my kid."

Natasha shook her head, "You're gonna run yourself into the ground at this rate."

"You're turning red there Peter, all good?" Clint asked bringing all eyes back to Peter who was indeed bright red.

"Y-your kid?" Peter squeaked out.

Tony blushed immediately, "Well uh, you are well..."

"Your kid," Peter said again sinking back into his bed's pillows.

"Yeah..."

As the "father and son" awkwardly stared at one another the rest of the team gave each other knowing looks.

Rhodes was the first speak, in a low whisper, "I think they both short circuited."

#7 Dance

"Tony!"

"Hey kid what's up?" Tony asked answering he phone. "Oh by the way I unfortunately don't think I'll be home until after ten."

"But I need you!"

"You do?"

"It's an emergency!"

"What? What kind of emergency?"

"I have a date to the dance! And it's tonight!"

Tony was silent for a moment.

"Tony?"

Tony shot up in his seat, "Someone cancel all my meetings!"