"Okay, everyone got a hand?" I ask as I struggle to hold Madison in my arms. Both she and bump are having a growth spurt, making it more difficult to carry my impatient toddler. The excitement is literally buzzing in the air at the thought of getting to see the missing piece of our little family unit. It simply hasn't been home without him. 

So far, mine and Harry's plan seems to be working. There were minimal paparazzi at LAX and our flight was peaceful, a few fans had spoken to me and asked me to sign a few things, but apart from that it was quiet, the kids even slept for a few hours. Which of course means I'm dealing with four balls of fiery energy right now.

"We see Daddy?" Madison yells in my ear.

"Soon, sweetheart." I kiss her cheek as Mark, our head of family security, helps steer the luggage trolley. Him and another member of security have travelled with us since Gemma and the kids were staying in LA a little longer. She'd somehow convinced Sammy's parents to agree to let him visit Disneyland with them for the weekend.

"No, Mummy!" Mac's panic stricken voice sends a shiver all the way down my spine as he throws his arms round my body like he's clinging to a life raft.

"Shit!" Mark exclaims and halts the trolley. Great, now I know it must be bad. 

"Go check it out!" He yells to James as my eyes settle on the scene that has my son terrified.

"You're okay, Mac. I've got you." I squeeze his shoulder as I swallow a gulp. This isn't good. There has to be at least thirty photographers, not to mention the fans screaming and yelling. I automatically scan around me to make sure the kids are close. 

"Mummy, let's get Daddy!" Madison squeals, her body bumping against my hip as she bounces up and down.

"Mum, I'm thirsty." Daniella tugs on my elbow as Robin starts whining about a phone charger. Kids! I roll my eyes as I try to appease them until we get to the venue.

"It's not good. There's not far to go but we're gonna have to move people." James frowns as he walks back towards us. 

"Mummy!" 

"Mum!" 

"Mum!" 

"Mummy!" 

I can feel the anxiety rising in my body just like the dull ache building in my forehead.

"OK. Troops, I need everyone to listen," I speak as calmly as I can manage and wait until all four kids are looking at me. "Robin and Daniella, I need you to go with Mark - Mac, you'll come with me - and Madison, you hold James tight as you can yeah?"

"No Mummy, I don't - I can't. Please?" Mac begs. His arms wrap even tighter around me and a feeling of guilt swims in the pit of my stomach. I hand Madison over to James and crouch down so I'm level with my son. 

"Listen, Bud! I know it's not going to be easy but the longer we wait here the worse it will get. I'll be right beside you, I promise." I try to reassure him. His wide eyes make me wonder if he heard a single word I said.

"Can you carry me?" He whispers, quiet as a mouse. The guilt is almost too much to stomach as I shake my head. I can barely manage Madison with my bump so there's no chance I can lift Mac. "Well, can we call Daddy? He can come and carry me."

"Come on, Mac, you know if your Dad comes it'll get much worse. A few minutes and it'll all be over." Mark encourages as he places a hand on my trembling son's shoulder.

"Why does Madi get carried?" He huffs as he glances up at me, completely ignoring the 6ft body guard.

"Fine, James can carry you and I'll -"

"No. I want you!" He flings his arms around me with such a force that he almost knocks me to the floor.

"Hey! Careful little man!" James reprimands him and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself snapping back at the man. Mac is scared and yelling at him isn't going to do any good.

"It's okay." I hold up my hand to keep James at bay and quickly regain my balance. "Listen Mac, I know it's scary but there isn't any other way. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"OK." His eyes shine with tears but he nods firmly. "Don't let go," he breathes and slips his trembling hand into mine.

"Promise." I press a kiss to his hand and then his forehead before I stand up and give myself a pep talk and take a few deep breaths. I can do this. 

An airport employee offers to take the bags out to the car, leaving the seven of us to wrestle our way through the crowd. The yelling and questions surround me from all sides as people prod, push and grab at me. I hear my girls scream and my son whimpers while holding me so tight I know I'll have bruises, but somehow we make it. 

"Everyone good?" Mark asks when we're all inside and the car doors are firmly closed.

"Yeah." Robin and Daniella reply, neither of them seem particularly phased. Madison has her nose pressed up against the window, fascinated by all the commotion and Mac's little body is still shaking beside me but he's okay. To be honest I think I'm shaking a little bit myself. The sooner I'm in my husband's arms, the better.

-----

"Ooof!" I groan as a small body colides with mine, knocking me sideways. I'm sat on the edge of the stage while the crew try to fix a problem with the microphones. "Daddy!" Mac wheezes as his arms strangle my neck.

"Hey, Bud!" My arms slide securely around my son as I hear "Dad!" and "Daddy!" being yelled another three times and another three sets of arms hug my body. I try to make sure I'm holding a piece of all of them as a grin takes over my whole face. "I missed you guys!" I yell and a chorus of "missed you too," is yelled back at me. "Where's Mum?" I ask, excited to see my beautiful wife and have her complete our family.

"She's coming. She's just slow with her big belly." Robi giggles and a little part of my heart groans as she lets go of me. I need more hugs. 

"Hey, I heard that!" 

My grin widens as Jessi's voice floats effortlessly across the stage. Dani and Madi are next to let go, rushing off to find the kitchen, no doubt there will be plenty of sweet treats waiting on them. The catering company I've hired seem much more worried about impressing my kids rather than me. Which just leaves Mac and he doesn't seem to be up for letting go anytime soon.

"Everything alright, Bud?" My hand smooths down his back as Jessi clumsily sits down on my other side. Her bump seems to have grown even more than I realised in our video calls and my free hand instinctively reaches out to rub over it.

"We had a bit of a tough time with the crowd at the airport today, didn't we Mac?" Jessi answers as she tucks her body into my side, her head resting against my chest. 

"Scared me," my son confesses.

"I'm sorry. You didn't get hurt did you?" I pull him in closer and press a kiss to the top of his head. 

"Mum protected me."

"She's good at that." I smile as I hold Jess a little tighter. I know she won't have found navigating the crowds easy either. 

I'm not sure how much time has passed when Mac gets up to go look for his sisters and Jess shuffles even closer. 

"Why does he do that?" I muse.

"Do what?" Jess asks as her leg brushes against mine while she swings them back and forth.

"Hug me to death when the paps give him shit, the girls usually avoid me, they blame me, it makes sense but Mac he does the opposite and I don't understand why?" I let out a long sigh and Jessi's whole body swivels towards me, her lips pressed together in a tight frown. 

"Nobody blames you!" She pinches my side and I roll my eyes. It makes sense for them to blame me, it's my job that causes people to shove cameras in their face. 

"H..." Her hand cups my cheek and slowly tilts my face to look at her. "Nobody blames you," she repeats the words slowly. Her thumb brushes over my lips as I open my mouth to argue but she cuts me off. "It. Is. Not. Your. Fault." Her mouth inches closer to mine with every word and all other thoughts except kissing her fall from my head. "It's fucked up that people are willing to pay pretty well for pictures of us doing the most mundane shit but it is what it is and being loved by you is worth it." Her lips press to mine in a fleeting kiss, that has my fingers gripping the back of her neck to pull her back in. "That's why our son chooses to cling to you afterwards, Harry, because you are worth every single inconvenience. Every bump in the road -" 

My kiss cuts her off and she lets out a little moan as my tongue slips by hers. The arm that isn't cupping my cheek suddenly flies around my shoulders in a futile attempt to pull me closer and I instinctively reach around her bump to grip her hip so she doesn't fall off the edge of the stage. Her tongue takes one more leasurely stroke along mine before she pulls away, her chest heaving up and down, much like my own. 

"I've missed that," she grins. I smirk as she shuffles her bum back from the edge. 

"Me fucking too." My grin is so wide my cheeks hurt but I can't stop it. I wrap my arm around her as we both gaze out at the empty arena. It feels so good to have her in my arms again, my entire body feeling lighter somehow as she breathes quietly beside me. Her scent fills my nose, her fingers squeeze my thigh gently. She's filling all my senses and yet I find myself wanting more.  

"That's beautiful, something new?" her voice whispers and I realise I've been whistling a melody.

"Just came to me," I smile while starting the tune over again, commiting it to memory so I can work on it with Mitch later. 

"It feels so nice to be home," Jess whispers as she links her fingers with mine and I've never agreed with her more.

----- 

"Hey, Bud! You got a second?" I yell once rehearsal is over for the day. The issue with the microphones had been fixed way too quickly and my family were pulled off in different directions. Jess rushed off to scout locations where she'd be able to take her pictures tonight, and Madi had followed her sisters who'd got wind of there being a games room here. The only memeber of my family who'd drifted back this way was Mac. Him and Jazz had sat their bums in the front row seats midway through Cherry and hadn't moved a muscle during the remainder of the run through of our set list. 

"Yeah, what's up?" He yells back as he runs over to the edge of the stage, holding his arms up above his head and waiting patiently for me to do my part. 

"You know, you're getting a little too big and strong for me to be able to do this," I chuckle as I wrap my hands tightly around his wrists and pull him up so he can climb onto the stage, "and, nothin's up. I have something to show you." My arm settles around his shoulders once he's stood beside me and a wave of emotion hits as his arm hugs my waist. It wasn't so long ago that he was Madi's height and hugging my leg. The older I get the more I realise parenting is a constant struggle of wanting to keep them small forever and being so immensley proud as they achieve each new mile stone in their lives. 

"Don't worry, Dad, I'll help you when you get old!" He pats my back and lets out a little chuckle. 

"Ha-ha!" I scoff. "Be careful, or I might not show you your surprise, bud." 

"Hey..." he whines just like I do and the action makes me grin from ear to ear. "I said when you get old, didn't say you were." 

"Come on, smartypants. Let's go." I roll my eyes as I take his hand and walk the now familiar route to my dressing room. Today it feels different though because now I'm not walking back here, doomed to spend the time staring at four walls. Alone. I have my family and the thought has me floating on air. 

"Dad... if you want fashion advice you'd be better asking Mum or Robi," He says quietly once we're inside my dressing room and I feel my brows raise in confusion until I spot the fact that I've lined his loafer options, rather artfully I thought, along the bottom of the rack with my outfit for tonight on it. 

"No, silly. You asked me to find you loafers, remember?" 

"They're all for me!" He inhales a deep breath before letting it out, " I only have two feet, Dad. I don't need -" he pauses to count along the row of boxes, "six pairs!" 

I can't help the laugh that escapes. "I thought you might want to choose your favourite." As soon as the words have left my mouth a nervous ball of energy builds in my stomach. I really hope he likes them, I'd tried really hard to make sure they were styles he'd like. "Now, I know some of them aren't purple but I thought that maybe you-" 

"You picked all these for me? I can't believe it." He steps closer and I watch as his eyes flick to the pair which are my favourite but then he moves to the opposite end and I swallow the lump in my throat. What if he hates them all? 

"Can I touch them?" His head swivels towards me as he nervously bites his lip. 

"Course you can." I pick up the purple suede pair with tassles like he'd requested, the ones he's stood in front of and hold the shoe out towards him. 

He gingerly pokes at the tassles and then shakes his head, "they look a little silly." I watch as his eyes drift over to the same pair as before but once again he stops at a different pair. The one's Jess thinks will be his favourite. Lilac with a gold snaffle. "Noisy," he giggles as he slides them onto his hands and mimes walking, making the metal rattle. I shove my hands into my pocket as he carefully pokes and inspects the next three pairs and as he stops in front of the last pair my palms are sweating more than when I asked Jess to marry me. 

I fell in love with the pink suede loafers as soon as I saw them and waiting to hear my son's thoughts on them has me shuffling my feet, unable to keep still. 

"Wow! So soft!" He exclaims as he rubs the shoe against his cheek and I can't help but chuckle.

"Do you like them?" I ask as he drops down on to the floor and begins pulling off his latest pair of trainers. His head nods up and down as one shoe and then the next lands on the floor beside him with a thump. 

His socks quickly join the pile and then he pauses, the bright pink loafer in his hand, "you think I need socks? Maybe Mum will find me those teeny ones she wears with her vans? I'll ask her," he mumbles, resuming the task of pushing his foot into the shoe. 

Once he has on the partnering footwear he jumps up from the floor with an enthusiasm that makes me slightly envious. Getting up quickly wasn't as easy for me these days, even although I like to think I'm still pretty fit. 

"Dad! These are awesome!" He exclaims as he walks toward the floor length mirror in the corner of my dressing room. I watch with a massive grin on my face as he tilts his foot one way and then another to get a good look at all the angles. "Can I keep them on?" His smile is as wide as my own as he throws the question over his shoulder. 

"Course you can. They feel okay? Comfy?" 

"Like so fu - uhm - freaking soft," his cheeks turn the same shade as his new shoes and I let out a loud chuckle. 

"Nice save, bud." My arms reach out and pull him into a hug, his face squishes into my body but he doesn't seem to care. 

"Love 'em. Thank you, Dad." 

"You're welcome. I'm so happy you like them." My jaw aches from smiling but when my son hugs me even tighter, I beam even wider. 

----- 

"Don't argue. It's all sorted." Adam's wife Emi insists. 

"But - the" 

"What did I say about arguing?" She grins as Robin comes charging onto the packed stage, closely followed by her brother and my heart swells when I spot the loafers on his feet. He'd fallen for the same pair Harry had, not really surprising. Those two are more alike than either of them realise.

"Dad's coming!" He announces and everyone quiets down. Our kids migrate towards me, each of them clutching a gift for the wonderful human who completes us. Robin clutches his card, that everyone invloved with the tour has signed as well as me and the kids, Daniella clutches a giant box of his favourite vegan cupcakes and Mac is helping Madison hold the giant heart shaped box of roses she'd insisted her Daddy needed. "Woses fo' people we wuv!" She'd demanded. That girl watches too many RomCom's with her father. 

"Alright, what's the..." My husbands voice trails off as everyone yells surprise. 

"Jess?" His eyebrows raise as he takes in the crowd of people and he quirks his head at me once his gaze seeks me out. 

"We all just wanted to wish you luck," I shrug. His long legs make short work of the distance between us and Madison crashes into my leg in her eagerness to show Harry her gift. A gift her brother was struggling to keep balanced between them as she bounced as if the floor were made of lava. 

"Daddy! Look!" She yells so loud I'm sure her voice can be heard all the way to the back of the arena. 

"Are those for me?" He laughs while scooping her up into his arms much to Mac's relief. Holding the flowers just got a whole lot easier. 

"Mhmm." She nods, "cos' ev'won wuv you," she waves her arm around in some vague gesture to the rest of the room. 

"Thanks guys. I love you too," My husband smirks and gives the room one of his famously awful winks. 

"And we got you cupcakes. Your favourite ones." Daniella says as she thrusts the box out towards him. "Don't worry we got real ones for everyone else!" She yells and points at a table that we'd set up at the edge of the stage with non-vegan and vegan cupcakes and a mix of other snacks. 

My heart soars with happiness as he pulls Mac, Daniella and Robin in for a hug. I think this will always be my most favourite sight. 

"Soo..." Emi's voice startles me. 

"So?" 

"Go get your bum into something pretty. I'll have Harry come find you when you're ready," she smiles. 

"Em, I really appreciate you and Adam doing this but -" 

"Nope! No arguing." She holds up her hand. "Adam and I will take care of the kids, go and enjoy some time with your husband before everything around here gets crazy." 

"I -" 

"Jess... you know I'll get Adam to carry you to that restaurant if I have to." She raises her eyebrow in a challenge and I let out a sigh. 

"Fine. I surrender," I bite my lip to hold back my smile. Spending some time alone with Harry would be pretty awesome and her and Adam had booked us in for an early dinner at Tattu. One of mine and Harry's favourite restaurants. The space is dominated by a beautiful cherry blossom tree and their tattoo inspired cocktails were to die for, although I guess we'd both be on the virgin ones tonight. 

"That's my girl." She grins. "Now, go get into something sexy as hell." She spins me around and pushes me in the direction of the dressing rooms, adding a smack to my bum and I shake my head as I hear her laugh fade away. 

"I don't know if I packed anything sexy as hell," I mumble as I make my way to find my suitcase. I'd mostly packed comfy stuff for working because we'd be going home to Holmes Chapel after the show. Maybe I could dress up the mink coloured body con dress I planned to wear for working the show tonight? I could switch out my vans for a pair of boots. Sexy as hell would have to wait until I finally get my husband in our bed tonight.