"Dad!" My daughter yells as she comes rushing into the room. "Are you ready? Look at Dolly!"

"Indoor voice, please?" I smile as she thrusts her doll into my hand. "Wow! He looks pretty!" I grin, he looks like he's just got back from a very interesting night out. White shirt, black waistcoat and bow tie on the top half and his bottom half is covered by nothing but a bright pink tutu. And I mean nothing, apparently underwear isn't necessary.

"Fancy!" She corrects me with a pout.

"He doesn't look as fancy as you though. I'm gonna have the most beautiful date for sure." My hand reaches for hers and I grin as she chuckles when I twirl her around. 

"Do you like my bow?" Her other hand pats the oversized, pink, sparkly bow attached to her white shirt.

"Love it. I once wore a big bow like that."

"Really? Can I see a picture?" She asks as she stares up at me, her hand tugging on my white shirt. 

"Sure. Gimme a minute." I pull my work phone from my pocket and pull up my first Met Gala pictures. "There y'go." I turn the screen to face her and she clamps her hands over her mouth to stifle her little giggle. 

"You look silly!" She giggles some more and I can't help but feel mildly offended, I mean this coming from the girl who's dressed Dolly in a tux and tutu combo! "Did Mum wear a bow too? Were you s'posed to be clowns?" 

"Oh no. Your Mum looked amazing. Hold on." I grin as I switch to a photo of us on the carpet. 

"Oooh!" She coos as her finger pokes the screen. "Mum is a pretty flower. And she has blonde hair! Like Madi and Mac!" Her voice is building to yelling levels again. 

"Yeah. She had blonde hair for a bit." 

"You look pretty too, Dad. I like that top better." She says tapping her finger on the phone. If I was honest I liked the lace blouse better too. So did Jess, and she really loved that dress. Along with her wedding dress it was one of the few items of clothing she kept in storage with my stage outfits.

"Thanks Dani. You ready to go?" I ask and grab my jacket from the bed.

"YES! I'M SO EXCITED!" She bounces on the tips of her toes and her hands are shaking Dolly like a maraca. I'm a little worried his head will suddenly fly off. 

"Okay, calm down!" I chuckle as I slide on my jacket. "Give me your hand." Her small hand squishes around three of my fingers and I can't help but notice how big and quiet the apartment seems without the rest of our family. I wonder what they are doing without us. 

-----

"Dad! Come on!" Dani pouts as I tuck my wallet back in my pocket after paying for the program. She's practically swinging from my arm with excitement to get inside.

"Alright! Do you need to pee before we head in?" I ask. I'm trying to leave it as late as possible so we don't draw any necessary attention. This is my daughter's time, I'd rather not share too much of it with anyone else. 

"No. Please Dad? Can we go inside?" She whines and it's at times like these where I'm reminded she's only eight years old. Of all our kids Dani has always seemed in the most hurry to grow up. She stopped calling us Mummy and Daddy long before she started pre-school. She swaggered into her Kindergarten class with not a care in the world, barely a backward glance at me or Jess as we fought back tears. "Dad!" She tugs on my arm hard and I let out a chuckle. 

"Okay then, let's go?" I grin as she grips my hand tight, Dolly held securely in her other hand. Her feet seem to bounce off the floor as we make our way inside the theatre. I'd booked out the little row of three on the left-hand side of the mezzanine section so getting to our seats was easy. I figured she'd be able to see everything from here with nobody obscuring her view and again I hope we won't draw much attention. I'm immediately grateful for the railing as she almost launches herself over it in her enthusiasm to take in everything. 

"Oh, wow!" She gasps, her eyes as wide as saucers. "There's a dragon! Look Dad!" She yells. "Oh, the emerald city is green. That's so cool." 

"Shh... pumpkin. I know you're excited but you need to remember your indoor voice." My heart calms in my chest as I pull her back from the edge and into her seat. 

"Oops." She clamps her hand over her mouth and turns to the elderly couple sitting in the row behind us. "Sorry." 

"Is this your first trip to the theatre, honey?" The lady smiles. 

"Yeah, a real one. I do plays at school but they are mostly just in the Auditorium. I'm gonna be the Wicked Witch." She breathes out as she clambers up in the chair so she can face them properly. "I'm the youngest in my drama club." She pats her chest proudly. 

"Oh, wow!" The old lady grins. "And who's that you've got there?" Her husband adds, pointing to her hand. 

"This is Dolly. He's wearing his fancy clothes, like me and Dad." Her smile is so wide, it almost touches her ears. 

"You all look very smart." 

"Thank you. You both look smart too. Uh oh. Gotta go." She gasps as the lights dim and the music starts. She settles in the chair with her legs crossed, her pink Gucci shoes kicked on the floor. Dolly is hugged to her chest as her eyes flit around the stage like a laser scoping out it's target. "Oh, no." She mumbles when they begin to cheer for the witch's death. "Bad." She says as Glinda the Good Witch joins them. Shit, maybe this wasn't a good idea?

"She's jus' a baby." Her fingers squeeze mine as her gaze remains fixed on the stage. I wrap my hand around hers as they finish the first song and she shuffles in her seat to get more comfortable. 

My eyes can't seem to decide between watching the show or watching the look of absolute wonder on my daughter's face. Her eyes are wide, her entire body leans forward and her mouth is slightly agape, not unlike her Mums when she's sleeping. "Daddy, are you watching?" Her slip of the tongue warms my heart as I settle down to watch the show with her. 

-----

"THAT WAS AMAZING!" Dani yells as she claps and cheers along with everyone else. "I love her." 

"Would you like to meet her?" 

"Can I?" Her eyes are saucer wide again as she stares up at me. 

"I'm sure Dad can sort something?" I wink as I pull out my phone. 

-----

"Mum, can Sammy stay for dinner?" Robin asks as she waltzes down from upstairs. I was surprised that Sam jr had apologised to my kids so quickly but glad he'd taken my advice and Robin seems to have taken him under her wing already. 

"Yeah. I was just gonna order us pizza anyway, no reason your Dad and Daniella should have all the fun." I smile. "Why don't you get him to call his parents, see if he can stay over?" 

"Cool. Can we do a movie and pamper night?" 

"Sure. So long as everyone is on board." 

"Still can't believe Dad took Dani all the way to New York just so she can see that show. He wouldn't take me to fashion week." Her feet thud against the wood as she heads back upstairs. 

"He was in Greece, filming a music video." My words seem to hit deaf ears as she doesn't respond to me. The sound of my phone vibrating across the table startles me and I snatch it up before it falls to the floor. I open up the picture Harry has sent and can't stop smiling. My husband and my daughter look very smart and the matching grins on their face make me want to wrap them both in a hug. I'm not sure how he had survived the flight with our 8-year-old as she had been bouncing off the walls before they left yesterday. My phone buzzes again and my grin widens when I see Daniella with the Wicked Witch. I can't wait to hear all about it.

"Oh, shit!" I sigh, rushing into the kitchen and throwing up in the sink. I hope this morning or every time of the fucking day sickness disappears soon. I've just about had enough. I turn on the cold tap and watch as the water rinses everything away. I tilt my head under the faucet, slurping the cool liquid and swirling it around my mouth before spitting it down the sink. 

"Mum, you okay?" My son's voice makes me jump. 

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Just morning sickness." 

"But it's like 6pm?" 

"Tell that to your brother or sister." I force a smile as I stand up and spin to face him. "What do you need?" 

"Oh Madi wants a juice box." He says while walking towards the fridge and I can't help but smile when he grabs two. I guess Harry is right, you're never too old for a juice box. 

-----

"Okay, you guys all sorted?" I ask before I turn out the light in the games room. Robin, Sam and Mac have all decided that's where they want to sleep. I know they'll be up and sneak a movie on minutes after I've gone. I close the door once I receive a chorus of "we're good." I flick off the lights in the Living Room and the hallway and make sure the front door is locked before I head upstairs. The silence is eery, it's times like these where I really miss Harry. Locking up is usually his job and I don't envy him the task, it's definitely creeping me out. 

"Fuck!" I stumble on the stairs as I spot Madison's shadowy figure at the top. 

"Hey, dats a swear!" She stomps her foot as I clutch my thumping chest. 

"What are you doing out of bed?" 

"I want Daddy. I need a song." She pouts as my heart begins to return to a normal rhythm. 

"He's not here, sweetheart. I'll put on Daddy's music for you though." I smile as I reach for her hand. 

"No! I want Daddy! No pay-list." She yanks her hand away from me. "I wait." She slams her little bottom down on the top step and I fight to hold back my giggle. 

"Fine, but he won't be back until tomorrow night and it'll get cold out here." I walk along the hallway to mine and Harry's room. 

"You goin'?" 

"Yep. Mummy is tired. I'm gonna climb into my nice warm bed and hug your Daddy's pillow so tight." I smile as I hear her feet thudding off the floor as she hurries behind me. 

"I come too?" 

"I thought you were waiting for Daddy?" I ask as I scoop her up. 

"We cawl him?" She yawns, her fist rubbing at her eye as her head falls against my shoulder. 

"We can't, sweetheart. It's 3am there. Daddy and Daniella will be sleeping. He called earlier to say goodnight, remember?" 

"I 'memba." She breathes as I lay her down in the bed. "Pay the fly song?" 

"Good choice Madison." I grin as I begin the song playing quietly. I walk towards the wardrobe to get changed into one of Harry's t-shirts and by the time I get back she's fast asleep. Harry hasn't even finished singing the chorus yet. I climb into his side of the bed, breathing deeply until my lungs are full of his scent. My eyes watch our baby's chest slowly rise and fall, she smushes her face into her pillow just like her Dad, her lips bear his serious expression too and her eyelashes flutter gently against her skin. She looks so peaceful and I hope that his voice can soothe me to sleep just as quickly. 

-----

It's 4am and for the third time tonight I find myself awake and staring at the ceiling. All I can think is thank fuck Jess has agreed to come on Tour with me otherwise I would be bloody exhausted. I wonder when exactly I reached the point of not being able to sleep without my wife beside me. I'd been on Tour without her plenty of times and I always manage to sleep, eventually. Although I haven't been on Tour in almost five years and I can't remember the last time I spent a night apart from her. 

I let my head fall to the side, and a sigh rumbles up from my chest as I take in the empty side of the bed. "Come on, H. This is ridiculous." I breathe out into the silence. I throw my arm out and pull Jessi's pillow towards me, hugging it to my chest and forcing my eyes closed. They spring open seconds later, like that was gonna work. My head slumps to the other side and my eyes fall on my phone. My fingers itch to call her, to hold her. I'd settle for hearing her voice but I can't call her. She'll be sleeping and now she's pregnant she needs all the rest she can get. I can't quite believe we're gonna have another baby in the house in just over seven months. I've been thinking of names and I've come up with two that I love, I hope Jess will love them too. I wonder if we'll have a boy or another girl. It will be nice to have another boy in the house but at the same time I think Mac and I quite like being surrounded by the awesome women in our lives. 

The sound of my phone ringing makes me jump and I grin when I see the picture of my wife lighting up the screen. 

"Hey Baby." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I can't sleep and I'm such a hypocrite, I told Madison we couldn't call because you'd be asleep." 

"Hey, it's okay. I was awake." I speak quietly and calmly. I can tell she's spiraling. 

"You were awake? Everything okay?" Her voice immediately takes on a concerned tone and I can picture her furrowed eyebrows she gives me when she's trying to work out my mood. 

"Everything's fine. Jus' miss my wife that's all." I smile at the sound of her voice. 

"She misses you too. So much." The small giggle that leaves her lips makes my heart merry, like the warm buzz from a third glass of tequila. 

"Well, aren't we a couple of sad sacks?" I curl my body around her pillow as I rest the phone against my ear. 

"The saddest." Again the mirth in her voice makes me feel content. 

"I love you so much." 

"I love you too."