I peel my eyes open and let out a little sigh when I realise Harry isn't in the bed beside me. Since I can't hear the shower I assume the kids must be back from Lori and Niall's and my kind husband has left me to sleep. I spot a little yellow post it note as I glance at the clock and reach out to pluck it from the lampshade. 

Gone out. Won't be long. I haven't forgotten our trip to the beach. Love you, Harry x

I stick the note back where it was and then climb out of his side of the bed. I wonder where he is off to at this time of the morning. It's only just turned 8am. I shake my head as I realise all his rings, except his wedding ring, are in his jewellery box on his bedside table. God only knows what that man of mine is up to. I pick up the peace ring and swirl it around my finger. It is one of his oldest rings and the writing isn't even visible anymore but Harry treasures it. I can feel my cheeks blush as I think of all the intimate parts of my body these rings have been and I smile as it clinks against the others when I place it back in the box.

I walk quietly towards the shower, discarding my underwear and Harry's shirt as I go. I turn on the shower and don't bother to wait for it to heat up before stepping inside, my body shudders under the cold water before it slowly warms up and I sigh at the feeling of the water beating down on me. It feels nice beating down on my shoulders, relaxing me until a sudden wave of nausea hits.

"Holy shit!" I grasp for the shower wall. I take a few deep breaths and relief washes over me when the feeling subsides.

I'm almost finished in the shower when the feeling returns, even stronger than before. "Come on little one, be nice to Mummy?" I sigh, breathing deeply. This time the feeling is refusing to budge, in fact it's getting worse. My mouth begins to get that watery feeling and before I can do anything to try to stop it I vomit all over the shower floor. Tears spring from my eyes when it just won't stop. Oh God, Harry where are you?

-----

An hour later and I've made it downstairs. After fifteen minutes spent on the floor of the shower, throwing up the entire contents of my stomach, the nauseous feeling had finally subsided. Now I'm feeling tired and cranky. Thankfully Robin has noticed I'm not feeling myself and is currently taking care of her brothers and sisters, in the kitchen. The sound of the door doesn't register as I stand in the hallway unsure whether to head to the kitchen and try to eat something or head to the Living Room and hope for a few moments of peace and quiet.

"Hi, baby!" I jump a little as I recognise Harry's husky voice and he wraps his arms around me from behind. I hold out his hands in front of me, they don't look right without his rings and I notice he's cleaned off the chipped pink nail polish too, apart from his cross tattoo and his wedding ring his hands are completely bare. I twist the ring, which matches mine, on his finger and smile at the happy memories it brings. "Why are you so fascinated by my hands?" He chuckles, that deep chuckle which gives me butterflies.

"They look naked without all your rings." My smile widens as he slips them from my hold so he can wrap his hands around mine, his chin rests softly on my shoulder and something else isn't right but I can't place what it is. 

"Ah crap! I picked up the vitamins Dr Ross suggested-"

"DAD! Your hair!" Robin cuts off Harry as she walks out of the kitchen and it hits me like a bolt of lightening, there are no curls tickling at my ear. I spin around and feel my mouth falling open.

"D'you like it?" He asks, running his hand through what is left of his hair. It hasn't been this short since he filmed Dunkirk and I don't know why but I burst into tears.

"Mum, calm down! It's only hair." I can hear the eye-roll in my daughters voice. "It looks good Dad, it's just different." She adds as Harry pulls me closer. 

"S'alright, Robi. I think we can blame the baby for these." He holds me tight and his thumbs carefully swipe away my tears but as soon as I've got my head around the fact I am crying over hair I'm suddenly furious.

"THIS! This is why you snuck off at the crack of dawn?" My fingers pull at the short strands of his hair. "I needed you and where were you? Off getting a fucking haircut?"

"I'm sorry, baby. Why did you need me?" He gently kisses my forehead, his voice calm and reassuring. Apparently my husband is better at navigating my sudden mood swings than I am.

"I threw up all over the shower floor." Tears are pricking at my eyes again and I can't help but think how ridiculous this is.

"Aww no. Sorry Jess. Are you okay now? It's weird that you were actually sick. I don't remember you being sick before. Nauseous yeah but never physically throwing up." His long fingers comb through my damp hair as he hugs me to his chest.

"It was worse than it ever was before, Harry." I breathe, calming in his embrace.

"I won't ever leave you again, baby." And even though the promise will be impossible to keep, I appreciate the sentiment behind the words and I know he'll do his very best to stick to them.

-----

"You know? I'm surprised I didn't notice you were pregnant sooner." I whisper and my wife lets out a groan as the water droplets from my body fall down onto her tan smooth skin, I can see that her eyes are closed through the bright yellow Gucci sunglasses that perch on her face. She stole them from me not long after we arrived at the beach, once she'd discovered she'd left her own behind.

"Harry, you're getting me wet." A cute little pout takes over her lips as she slowly opens one eye, looking up at me.

"Oh baby, say that to me again?" I smirk, dropping onto the sunlounger that I'd pressed up against hers earlier. 

"What has gotten into you?" She smiles lazily as I lie on my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows. Her face has that serene look she gets sometimes when she's completely relaxed, like after she's had a really good massage or when she's lying in bed completely fucked out. So soft but yet so unbelievably sexy.

"You. You're fucking stunning." I answer her question and reach over to place my hand on the bare skin of her stomach. She feels toned and balmy. "I think you have every woman in the world's pregnancy glow." I can't help but smile at the blush which tints her cheeks at my words but she places her hand on mine and removes it from the warmth of her body.

"Harry, there could be paparazzi?" Her words cause my eyes to leave her and automatically begin scanning around us.

"Mummy, come play?" Madi heaves, out of breath as she climbs up between me and Jess. "I wide your board, pwease?"

"Okay, sweetheart." My wife replies and I scramble up so I can get to her paddle board before her. No way is she lugging that thing down to the water.

"I'll get it." I narrow my gaze at her as she reaches to take the board from me once she's stood up and I smile in victory as she gives a resigned sigh, walking down the beach with Madi's hand held tightly in hers. I hook the board under my arm and follow behind them, my eyes quickly scanning the beach for paps again. I think I spot a couple further down the beach but from this distance it's hard to tell. It makes me want to grab the ones I love and leave immediately but where is the fairness in that? I make up my mind that we can stay as long as the kids stay oblivious to the paparazzi's presence. 

"H, you okay?" Jessi's gentle voice pulls me from my thoughts and when her fingers link with mine I'm surprised to find we are in the sea. I look down at her, her big brown eyes staring up at me full of worry and I wonder if I should say anything, do I ruin her day out too? But I know she'd want to know. 

"M'sure there're paps over there." I nod in their general direction but her eyes stay fixed on me. 

"How many?" She asks as I watch her eyes flick to our children, first to Madi who is perched on the paddle board beside us, giggling as she rocks it from side to side and then to the other three who are chucking around a rugby ball as the water laps at their ankles. "Two." I sigh. "Okay." Her hands cup my cheeks. "It's okay, H. I think if the kids spot them or we spot anymore, we leave yeah?" I nod and she pulls my head down and places a quick peck on my lips. "I'm so thankful for you." She whispers. 

"Even though-"

"Shh... it's alright." She cuts me off and slides her hand back into mine, under the water. "Now come on, help me push our little Princess." She grins widely and I feel myself relax because it's genuine. She isn't pandering to me, she knows there's a good chance pictures of us will appear online and she's trying to show me it's okay, it's not going to stop her enjoying her time here. 

Taking a leaf out of her book I let my fingers dance their way across her arse before resting my hand on her hip and hugging her close. "M'not sure I deserve you." 

"Nonsense." She giggles, pinching my bum in revenge. We smile at each other as we push the board further out into the water and Madi sings "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" her little head nodding from side to side happily. 

-----

I'd only just stood up on my board when Madison decides she's bored already and leaps off, my heart jumping into my mouth until Harry grabs a hold of her.

"Can I have a go?" Daniella yells, swimming towards us.

"Of course you can." I smile and I can see the look of panic in my husband's eyes as she tries to climb on, making us wobble but there's not much he can do about it since he has Madison in his arms.

"Dani, please be careful, love." He yells, his eyes looking up at me.

"It's okay." I smile as Daniella makes it onboard.

"I wanna jump!" Madison yells, pointing to Robin and Mac who are using their arms to boost each other into back flips.

"Go. We'll be fine." I smile at Harry. He's such a worrier. I chuckle as he reluctantly carries our youngest over to her siblings.

"Mum, what do I do now?" My daughter asks, she is kneeling in front with her back towards me.

"Well, now you stand up?" I smile down at her. She moves slowly, carefully moving one limb at a time.

"I can't it's too wobbly!" She cries as she stills all her movements.

"Yes you can, Daniella." I encourage. I know she'll love it if she can just get over this first hurdle.

"I can't!" She replies, her wet hair wriggles against her back as she shakes her head.

"You can, sweetheart and if you fall, it doesn't matter. I've fallen loads of times. You just climb back on and try again." I carefully place my hand on her head.

"I'm not strong like you, Mum. I can't!"

"Daniella, you are so strong you don't even know it. Trust me, hold my hands?" I hold my hands where she can reach them. She grasps them one at a time, letting out scared little whimpers when the board wobbles.

"Okay, good job, sweetheart. Now when I count to three I want you to jump, okay?"

"What?" She exclaims.

"Trust me." I repeat and she slowly gets into a position she can jump up from.

"Okay, Mum." Her voice is shaky.

"Okay. One, two, three, jump!" I yell, pulling her up as hard as I can at the same time she jumps and then I feel her feet land back on the board with a thud. We wobble a little but I am able to control it.

"I did it!" She cheers and I beam with pride.

"You sure did. Well done, Daniella. You wanna help Mum paddle?" I pick up the paddle and hold it so her hands can grip it underneath mine and together we paddle a little further out.

"This is so cool!" She exclaims and I feel completely content as I glance over to see Harry and the rest of our kids playing happily. These were the best moments. And I wasn't about to let two people with cameras stop me from enjoying them. 

-----

I climb out of the bath and wrap a towel around me before walking into the bedroom. I smile at the fluffy robe Harry has left on the bed for me. I quickly dry myself off and slip on the robe, my eyes glancing over the suit Harry has laid out for the morning, it's very formal, he's even looked out a tie and quite honestly I didn't even know that he owned one. He's certainly never wore one for work and I wonder where he is going.

"Harry!" I yell as I happily skip towards the stairs. I hurry down them and come to a stop at the bottom of the stairs as I realise all the lights are low and there is no sign of my little monkeys.

"Bonsoir Cheri." Harry smiles, walking towards me in a matching fluffy robe. "Dinner is served!"  He bows dramatically and points to the dining room which is decked out with candles and the food smells amazing.

"Where are the kids?" I chuckle as he walks me to the table.

"Sleepover with Auntie Lori and Uncle Niall. Figured I had some making up to do after this morning?" He looks sheepishly at the ground.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I mean you weren't to know I'd get sick while you were gone." I feel bad for my outburst, even although it wasn't entirely within my control.

"So am I forgiven for my haircut then?" He holds out my chair for me to sit down before he sits himself down in the chair beside me.

"No. I want my curls back." I pout. "I like the way they tickle me."

"Oh, do you now?" He smirks. "Just thought I'd try something a little different."

"Is it to do with whatever you have planned for tomorrow?" I ask, remembering the odd suit hanging on Harry's closet door.

"Just going to the studio like normal." He shrugs.

"So what's with the suit?" I place a forkful of chicken in my mouth and hum happily.

"Just trying something different." He repeats as I finish chewing.

"But it's so dull?" I remark and then it all clicks in my head. "Harry please tell me all of this isn't because of that boy? You haven't done all this because a little boy made some stupid remarks about the way you dress, have you?" I sigh.

"Baby, if me having short hair and wearing more normal clothes means our kids don't get bullied then damn right, I'm gonna do it!" He replies.

"Harry, this is crazy. You see that, right?" I snap at him.

"Why are you angry with me?" He sighs.

"You're letting a child, who we don't even know, run your life. Should I just go and ask this kid what we should name our unborn baby? Maybe I should ask him what he'd like me to wear? Maybe I'll just let him pick what we fucking have for dinner!" I yell.

"For the greater good." Harry reaches for my hand but I pull it away.

"And tomorrow, when he decides he doesn't like this hairstyle either? Or maybe they'll attract a new bully who wants you to walk around naked. Are you going to do that too? Huh?"

"Well now, you're just being stupid." He scoffs.

"I'm being stupid? Me? Yeah I'm the one who has completely lost my fucking mind." I push my chair back and march towards the stairs.

"Jessi, baby?" Harry whines but he knows better than to follow me. It's best to give me space to calm down and boy was I angry. My husband has gone insane, I'm sure of it. Once I reach the top of the stairs, I thump into the bedroom and grab the stupid suit off the wardrobe before storming back to the top of the stairs with it.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Harry questions, staring up at me.

"Here. I hope you and your ugly ass suit will be very happy together!" I threw the suit down the stairs and turn back and walk into our room.

"Jessi!" I hear Harry exclaim but I don't look back. He has to see what an idiot he is being. 

-----

It's 2am and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep and I'm bloody hungry. I wonder what Harry is doing downstairs, is he asleep or is he tossing and turning just like I am? We almost never sleep apart when he's home, I hate it.

"Jessi?" I hear Harry whisper as the door slowly creaks open. I keep quiet. "Please, let me in?" His voice is weak and desperate and I know I need him there beside me just as much. I sit up and pat the empty space beside me. "Made you a sandwich with the chicken from dinner." He doesn't hesitate for a second before climbing into bed beside you. He places the plate on my lap before hugging me tight, his arms holding me as if we'd been apart for months. "I know I'm being stupid but - fuck!" I know he is running his fingers through his hair without even looking at him but it's best to let him talk, so I eat my sandwich and wait for him to continue. "They're our babies, Jess. It's my job to keep them safe and I feel like I'm failing." I look up at him and my emotions threaten to get the better of me again. My husband looks tormented. Worry, fear, sadness and hurt are written all over his face and quite honestly it's enough to turn my heart inside out.

"Sweetie, I want you to listen to me, okay?" I put down my food before cupping his cheeks in my hands. He nods slowly. "Our babies are safe. Our babies are thriving because they know they are free to be whatever and whoever they want to be, you give them that support, Harry. You make them feel safe. And okay some kid is picking on Robi and Mac but they are both fine. Didn't you hear them the other day? They were trying to figure out why this boy was behaving like he was, they weren't hating on him, they were trying to understand things from his side. That's the example you set them, Harry and I don't know about you but I'd much rather our children follow that than the idea that we should change to suit other people." I pray he is listening. I can see the cogs turning in his head as he stares back at me.

"I should get you pregnant more often." He finally speaks and then lets out a little chuckle and I cocked an eyebrow at him. "It makes you very wise." He grins.

"You're saying I'm right?" I smirk.

"You're always fucking right." He removes the plate from my lap and sets it on the bedside table before he lies down and pulls me with him, one hand wraps around my shoulders and the other rests gently but firmly against my almost invisible bump. I immediately feel sleep calling my name, as if it knows everything is right with my world once again.