Dougie

I watched Jessi as she walked back towards me, she'd been dancing with some girls who'd asked her to dance, I didn't know them. We were at another YSL party, in London this time, and it had been a week since I confessed that I loved her. She still hadn't said it back but things were going well between us, we were spending almost all of our free time together; she got on great with my friends. They loved her almost as much as I did.

"Do you know those girls?" I asked as she kissed my lips and sat down beside me.

"Friend's of Harry's." She said, her hand squeezing my thigh. "You wanna dance?"

"With you? Yes." I smiled following behind her as she held my hand. I loved watching her dance, the way her hips swayed, the way her back curved, how she licked her lips without realising it. She looked amazing. I smiled as she pulled me closer, her body grinding into mine and then she suddenly stopped, her body frozen like a statue. Her hands were clutching my shoulders as she looked behind me. I turned around to follow her gaze and there he was, Harry Styles. I turned back to look at her and immediately wished I hadn't. Her palms were sweating, I could feel her heart thumping in her chest and most telling of all was the look in her eyes. She was looking at him the way I longed for her to look at me. She loved him. She was still fucking in love with him. Oh Dougie, you idiot!

She only looked away when the girl he was with kissed him. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" She yelled over the music, her eyes meeting mine. I shook my head.

"Do you want to say hello?" I asked, nodding my head towards Harry. Now she was the one shaking her head. "Do you want to leave?" She shook her head again. "Okay, let's sit down. I'll go get us some water, yeah?"

"Thank you." She smiled and walked back to where we'd been sitting before. I walked towards the bar and leaned over the bar to try to get the bartender's attention.

"Doug!" I recognised his voice.

"Harold!" I replied.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"Are you really interested in how I'm doing or are you more interested in who I'm doing?" I surprised myself with my sudden outburst but I was pissed off. Mainly with myself for being so stupid, it was just like me to fall for somebody who was unavailable.

"Alright, chill out Doug!" He chuckled, but I saw him glance over to where Jessi was sitting. "I haven't even spoken to her since New Year." She had her nose in her phone, a sad look on her face.

"Two waters, please?" I smiled at the bartender once I'd finally got his attention.

"Doug, take care of her, yeah?" Harry smiled and from that simple statement I knew he still cared for her too. Double fuck! I was going to have to let her go, wasn't I?

"Dougie, I changed my mind. Can we go home, please?" Jess asked as soon as I came back with our drinks.

"Yeah." I nodded, helping her put on her jacket before putting on mine. I held her hand as we walked outside, making the most of every second. The way her fingers gently pressed on my knuckles, the little smile that spread over her face as I ran my thumb over her palm. I waved down a taxi and whispered the address of her hotel as we got inside. I smiled as she lay her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my ear. I held her tight, never wanting to let go, but I had to. I knew that now, she was never mine, but I wanted to pretend just a little longer.

"Jess?" I asked when we were almost at her hotel.

"Yeah?" She mumbled, moving her head, so it was more comfortable.

"You still love him, don't you?" The words hung in the air for what felt like forever.

"I'm trying not to, I really am, Doug." She whispered, her hand squeezing my thigh.

"It's okay." I replied, rubbing her back as she finally sat up and noted where we were heading.

"Where? Why aren't we in Richmond? Why have you brought me here?" She asked as we pulled up to the entrance. Her brown puppy dog eyes really pulling at my heartstrings.

"I think it's best if you stay here tonight." I answered, I wanted to take her home with me, I really did. But I couldn't be with her while she loved him and I'm quite sure he still loved her too, I caught him watching us, watching her as we left.

"No." She shook her head, tears brimming at her eyes. "If I get out I won't see you again, will I?"

"Not for a while, no." I admitted. I needed a clean break to get over her.

"Please, don't leave me, Doug?" Her bottom lip wobbled and tears rolled down her cheeks, one after the other.

"I'm sorry, Jessi. I have to." My own tears were threatening to burst their banks as I watched Jess slowly climb out the taxi and close the door. I told the driver my address, and closed my eyes, not even brave enough to watch her as I left.

Jessi

I was on my way inside the hotel when I suddenly stopped, my heels skidding on the shiny polished floor. Fucking Harry! This was all his fault. I'd saw them speaking at the bar and whatever bullshit Harry had said to him caused this. I headed back out the hotel and began to walk back to that stupid party.

-----

By the time I reached the party I was bursting with rage. How dare Harry poke his nose into my business like this? I pushed through the paps and didn't give one shit when they started snapping photographs. The minute I made it inside I scanned the room, there he was, right in the middle of the dance floor.

"Excuse me." I muttered to a few people as I bumped into them.

"You fucking asshole!" I yelled, my hand pressing into the middle of his chest.

"Shit! Jess? What the hell happened to you?" Harry exclaimed, trying to grab a hold of me.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled, but he managed to grab me and the next thing I knew he flung me over his shoulder. "HARRY! PUT ME DOWN!" I yelled kicking my legs and smacking his back.

He suddenly sat me down and I slapped him. "What the fuck, Jess?" His hand clutched his cheek. I looked down at my trembling hands and suddenly felt shame washing over me. "I'm sorry." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry, I - shouldn't have..."

"It's alright." He said softly, and I looked up and saw his bright red cheek and immediately looked back down at the floor. My hands were still shaking as they rested on my thighs. "What the hell happened to you?" I heard running water, and I looked around and realised we were in the toilets. I flinched as I felt icy cold water against my cheek and I watched silently as Harry ran a soaking paper towel over my skin and I gasped as it turned black. I spun around and realised my makeup was a disaster, my mascara and eyeliner running all down my cheeks.

"Jesus, I look like shit." I said more to myself than anyone else.

"Jess, did somebody hurt you?" I could sense the fear in Harry's voice and I shook my head, my eyes glued on the horror show staring back at me from the mirror.

"Not like that." I mumbled as Harry grasped my head and turned it back to face him, he had a new paper towel in his hand and I just sat there and let him clean my face as if I was a child, who hadn't mastered the motor skills required.

"What did you say to Dougie?" I asked.

"Nothing, why? Is this his fault?" Anger flashed in his eyes.

"You liar. Everything was fine, then he spoke to you and bam he finished with me just like that." I yelled.

"I swear I only asked him to take care of you. That's it. I certainly never told him to leave you. I'm sorry Jess." Harry sighed. There was nothing but silence in the bathroom while he carefully cleaned my face. I wasn't heartbroken, but I definitely felt hurt. I'd miss Doug. He was fun, and he made me feel better.

"Why? Uhm... Did he say why?" Harry said.

"No." I replied, but I guessed it was because I was still madly in love with the man stood in front of me, taking care of me, even if I didn't deserve it, just like always.

"Come on, I'll take you home?" Harry's hands gripped my waist as he lifted me down onto the floor and the sparks which were missing from my relationship with Doug zapped all around my body, like electricity seeking a path to the ground.

"No. It's okay. I'll be fine. You were with that girl, Camille, right? You should go find her." I forced a smile.

"Don't be stupid. I'm not leaving you here alone." He grabbed my arm and lead me out the bathroom and we immediately ran into Harry's girlfriend.

"Is she okay?" She asked Harry. 

"Yeah. She'll be fine, right Love?" Harry smiled. "I think we should take her home with us. I don't want to leave her on her own."

"You can't be serious?" She exclaimed.

"It's fine, H. I'll just go back to my hotel." I didn't want to be their third wheel. That was the last thing I needed.

"Well, at least let me drive you there?" Harry almost begged.

"Well okay, if it's all right with Camille?" I replied.

"I guess that will be okay." She smiled.

-----

I wished Camille had said no. It was the most awkward car journey of my life. She was all over Harry. Laughing at everything he said, batting her eyes at him, kissing him, touching him constantly and I was one hundred percent jealous. More jealous than I've ever been of anyone because he seemed to like her too. Not like with Dallas.

"Thank you Harry, Camille!" I said politely as I practically jumped out the car as soon as Harry stopped at the hotel. I rushed inside, I just wanted to close my room door and shut out the world.

"JESSI!" I heard Harry yell after me. He pulled me aside once he'd caught up with me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine." I replied.

"Okay. Call me if you need anything, yeah?" Harry pulled me into a hug and my heart ached. I wanted this, I needed this, but he wasn't mine so I let him go.

"Okay. Hey, did you get your birthday present? I left it with your Mum and Robin? I sent you a message but you-"

"Yeah, I did. Thanks." He suddenly looked like he was in a hurry to leave so I waved him goodbye and hurried to the lift. I just wanted to sit and feel sorry for myself, preferably with an obscene amount of ice cream. Maybe some Rum or Tequila?

-----

Harry

I angrily opened the driver's door to my car and slumped inside. I yanked my phone out of my pocket and began navigating to my contacts.

"I'm glad she's gone." Camille sighed, her hand squeezing my thigh. A new surge of anger began coursing through my body as I saw Jessi's name on my blocked list. "Harry?" Her voice whined, her hand inching further up my thigh.

"Please tell me this is some mistake, tell me you didn't block Jessi's number?" I had to fight to keep my voice calm.

"Of course I did. All she ever does is upset you." Her hand squeezed my thigh tighter. I grabbed her hand and pushed it off me, I was beyond pissed. How dare she do this? "Harry, don't be like that. I did it for you."

"Just don't. Don't give me that bullshit!" I snapped and started up the car.

"Please, don't be mad at me." 

"Why would you do that? How did you do it?" I growled. I kept both my phones locked.

"Oh please, your password is her birthday, it wasn't that hard to crack." She scoffed. "And I did it to protect you."

"I don't need protecting from Jessi and I can't believe you'd betray my privacy like that." I shook my head as I hurried towards my house.

"Oh yes, you do. She has you wrapped around her little finger. She snaps her fingers and you come running. It's pathetic." Camille spat.

"You're pathetic." I snapped back at her.

"She's pathetic. I mean did you see the mess of her tonight, those paps are going to have a field day with those pictures. Has nobody pointed out to her that waterproof makeup exists?"

"Don't do that. She was hurt and upset and the least you could do was show her a little kindness?" I snapped, pulling into my driveway.

"I let you drive her home, didn't I? And you're lucky I allowed that. Do you have any idea how hard it is, how much it hurts, knowing you're still in love with her? Or maybe you just don't care?" She yelled and stormed out the car, slamming the door behind her.

"Storming off, doesn't really work if you need me to get inside." I scoffed as I locked the car door and followed behind her.

"It's all just another part of you she has that I don't. I'm used to it." Camille sighed. I unlocked the door, and she marched inside. I walked towards the cupboard near the living room and pulled out a spare duvet and a pillow. "What are you doing?" She questioned, her eyes fixed on me.

"Sleeping on the sofa." I sighed. I was still furious that she'd betrayed my trust.

"Fine by me." She stomped up the stairs. I threw myself down on the sofa and all I could think about was Jess, all alone in that hotel room. I wanted nothing more than I wanted to go to her, to comfort her, tell her everything would be all right. I picked up my phone and found Jessi's name on my blocked list. My thumb hovered over the unblock button.

I lay back against the sofa and let out a sigh. It didn't matter if I reached out to her or not; she didn't want me. She had moved on, the fact that she was so upset about losing Doug had made that perfectly clear. Maybe Camille was right? Was it time I stopped chasing after Jessi? I sent Gem a quick message asking her to check on Jess and put my phone down and headed upstairs.

----------

Jessi

"WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?" Niall yelled as Lori and I stumbled in the front door.

"Out." Lori giggled, we were both wasted. In fact, we were beyond wasted.

"I'm well aware you've been out. But you've been gone for over ten hours, I've been going out of my mind." Niall was pacing a hole in the floor.

"I uhm... I did that thing... with the letters? I texted." Lori managed to slur out, eventually. "See." She thrust her phone out in front of her, almost smacking Niall in the face.

"You mean this text here?" He held Lori's phone in front of her, she scrunched up her eyes and nodded. "Well babe, you know I only receive your texts once you actually hit the send button?" Niall's voice had softened.

"Oops." Lori giggled.

"And how about you? You're awfully quiet. Has this made you feel better?" Niall turned to me, his hands gesturing at our drunken state.

"I feel great." I giggled, swaying on the spot. "I danced on a... Harry. I was so sexy."

"You did what?" Niall exclaimed.

"Shh... she means those bikes - a Harley." Lori stumbled into Niall.

"I don't think I want to know." Niall shook his head. "Come on, you two are going to need at least three days to sleep this off." Niall held Lori tight with one arm and then grabbed me with the other, making sure we got upstairs safely. 

He wrestled me through the bedroom door and I stumbled towards the bed. It looked so comfy. "Night Sissy." Lori giggled as I landed face first in the duvet.

"Love you guys." I mumbled as my eyes slowly closed, I was so tired.

"We love you too." Niall and Lori said, it was the last thing I heard before sleep overtook me.

-----

"Lori, I need your help!" I groaned as I walked down the stairs. My head had never hurt so much, in fact my entire body felt like it would split in two with every step I took.

"Drink this and take these." Niall said as I walked into the kitchen. "She's not going to be much use to you." He gestured towards Lori who just groaned as a response before placing her head down on the table.

"But I spammed Harry and I need you to make it go away." I slumped into the chair beside her.

"Don't worry about it, he blocked you so you can just delete them and he'll never know." If I thought my body was in the most pain imaginable, then my heart quickly reminded me I was wrong. He blocked me? Harry blocked me?

"Oh. Uh... cool." I gulped down the tablets and water before standing up quickly, ignoring how dizzy I felt. I tripped on my way up the stairs as I ignored the pain coursing through my body. 

I closed the bedroom door behind me and pressed my back against it, the tears I'd been trying to keep inside rolling down my cheeks. I felt somebody collide with the door on the other side.

"Jess? I'm sorry - I didn't mean to upset you." Niall said.

"It's fine." I struggled to make sure my voice sounded normal.

"J, you're upset, please let me in?" Niall persisted. I rushed towards the bed as he swung open the bedroom door. "Hey, you don't have to hide from me." Niall scooped me into a hug and I sobbed all over his t-shirt. "I know you're upset but maybe this is for the best for now, I mean lately it seems like you two can't seem to be near each other or even talk without fighting?"

"I wish I could rewind the clock and stop all of this from happening. I don't think it's possible to repair the cracks between us anymore."

"Forget Harry. Find something else to put your energy into. Why don't you start that photography company you're always telling Lori about?" Niall rubbed my back. Niall was right, there wasn't anything stopping me from getting on with my life except me. I hugged him tighter.

"Ni, do you ever think it'll stop hurting?" I held my breath as I waited for his reply.

"Honestly?" He questioned. I nodded in response.

"I don't know, Jess. I thought it would but maybe you just have to learn to live with it and then maybe one day it might just be a dull ache?" Niall's words weren't encouraging.

"He seems happy with Camille." I sighed.

"I think she dulls the ache." Niall replied, rubbing my back.

"Dougie did that, he made me laugh. Maybe you have a point about work. I should just concentrate on that." It definitely couldn't hurt.

"I never thought I'd say this but I agree with Niall." Lori laughed. She walked towards us and pulled us into a hug.

"OK. Jessi Monroe, Photographer Extraordinaire coming up!" I smiled. Maybe concentrating on work would be good for me. It certainly couldn't make things any worse.

----------

About a month had passed, and I had never been more busy. I'd hired an assistant, and she was arranging my appointments and making sure I didn't overlap any meetings, she was my saviour. Her organisational skills were enviable, mine sadly, weren't up to par. Which is how I ended up in this queue in the coffee shop, hurrying to have something to eat before my next appointment. Everything seemed to be going agonisingly slowly. I didn't have time for this.

"Hi, can I have a tall black coffee? No Cream, no sugar, please?" I smiled at the barista when I reached the front of the queue.

"Is that everything?" She smiled.

"I'll have a blueberry muffin as well please?" I grinned as I paid and waited for my coffee. I glanced down at my watch and realised I might make it on time for my appointment if this went quickly.

"Tall Black, no cream, no sugar." A voice yelled, and I walked forward to collect my coffee and almost collided with a tall, strong body. His aftershave achingly familiar.

"Sorry." I muttered. "This is probably yours. I thought it was fast." I giggled.

"Jessi?" Harry exclaimed and my eyes snapped up towards him.

"Harry?" It couldn't be. I was in a random town, on a random Island in Scotland. There is absolutely no way he should be here. Yet here he was, his green eyes fixed on mine.

"What are you doing here?" We both asked at the same time.

"Shooting a music video." He smiled and gestured for me to answer.

"I'm meeting a client." I glanced back at my watch, I really didn't have time for this.

"You in a hurry?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, forgot to pack a lunch. Now I'm going to be late." I sighed.

"Why am I not surprised? Here, take my coffee. I'll get yours when it's ready, can't have you being late." Harry grinned. His fingers lightly brushing mine as I took the coffee from him.

"You're a lifesaver. I'll pay you back somehow." I smiled.

"Yeah, yeah. Now shouldn't you be heading?" Harry chuckled.

"Thanks Harry." I waved as I rushed out the Coffee shop. I smiled to myself as I saw him wave back through the window. That was surprisingly easy, and I didn't feel like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I sipped my coffee as I quickly headed to the hotel where I was supposed to meet my client.

Harry

I watched as Jessi walked out of the door. What are the chances of me meeting her here? Slim to none, I'd guess. She looked pretty but tired, although I'm not surprised. Niall said she'd been crazy busy with work.

"Tall black, no cream, no sugar." A voice pulled me back from my thoughts.

"Thanks." I smiled. I took a sip and smiled at the thought this should be Jessi's. I don't know why but the thought pleased me. I can't believe she's here. I thought about texting her. Maybe she'd like to get dinner after her meeting? I'd unblocked her number after I broke up with Camille. Well, more accurately she broke up with me, although I didn't blame her. Yelling out Jessi's name while we had sex had been the final straw. I felt like such a dick but I still hadn't stopped her from leaving.

It was hard to give your heart to somebody when it wasn't yours to give away. Jessi Monroe had owned my heart the minute she walked into that signing, which seemed like a lifetime ago now. I hadn't noticed I'd left the shop until the cool air hit me, Jessi would be freezing, she was only wearing a light jacket over her dress.

"You must be cold, do you need to borrow a jacket?" And that was the first text I'd sent her since Christmas. Once I'd started I couldn't stop.

"I've missed you."

"Text me when you're finished. We could grab something to eat?"

"You looked pretty."

"Your hair is long again. I like it."

"Jess, I lo-"

"HARRY!" Jeff's voice interrupted my texting. "Where have you been? Everyone's waiting to film the next scene."

"Needed Coffee!" I smiled, shoving my phone back in my pocket.

"Coffee?" Jeff gave me a questioning look. "You look awfully happy about getting coffee."

"I saw Jessi." I smiled.

"Oh my God, you've finally lost the plot!" Jeff scoffed. "What would Jessi be doing here? Last thing I heard she was shooting some superstars calendar."

"Whose?" I asked as we walked back to the filming location.

"Chris, he was chatting about it in an interview. Apparently she just hung around with him for a while, taking random pictures. He was gushing about not being stuck in a studio." Jeff replied.

"Chris who?" Sounded like she did a good job with this calendar and it was great for her he was discussing it in interviews.

"The Australian guy, he's in those superhero movies she likes." Jeff replied.

"Hemsworth? Jess got to photograph Thor? I bet she was buzzing." I grinned at how excited she would have been.

"Yeah, so highly unlikely she's here, right?" Jeff scoffed.

"Apparently she's meeting a client. Find out where she's staying for me?" My voice sounded way more needy than I intended.

"Harry!" Jeff said in a warning tone. "Fine and when I do my search and tell you she's not here, you'll drop it, right?"

"If you actually look then yeah." I knew he'd find her.

"Okay, H. I'll do it." Jeff said and never mind the wires, I felt like I could float on air all by myself. I would see Jess tonight and I couldn't be happier.

-----

Jessi

"Hi Jess, how'd the meeting go?" Sara answered.

"Well, he wants to hire us so pretty well." I grinned.

"That's awesome!" She cheered.

"Yeah. I'll tell you all the details when I get back." I smiled.

"And you'll be back on Monday, right?" Sara asked.

"Yeah. I'm going to spend the rest of the week with Anne and Robin. I'm heading for the ferry now." I couldn't wait to see them. It felt like too long since my last visit even although it wasn't even two weeks ago.

"Okay. Enjoy your time off. I think you need it. See you Monday." Sara laughed.

"Thanks. See you Monday." I grinned as the ferry came into view and I hurried on board, if I missed this it was an overnight wait for the next one. I did not want to have to do that. And then my mind flicked to Harry. How ridiculously unlikely it was that I should run into him here? He looked good. At ease. Camille must be good for him. He'd been wrapped up warm and had on a fantastic coat which made me a little jealous. I'd been freezing all day. His curls had tickled at his ears, his eyes were my favourite shade of green and his lips were pink, plump and oh so kissable.

Stop it Jessi! This train of thought would lead nowhere good...

I wonder if he tried to call or text? I wasn't proud of it but I'd retaliated to him blocking me by blocking him. It was childish and stupid.

Stop! I shook my head vigorously as if it would shake all the thoughts in my head loose. I opened my planner and began to scribble out ideas and busied myself with work. Thoughts about Harry slowly drifting to the back of my mind.

-----

I smiled as I saw Anne waiting for me outside as I pulled up in the taxi. It was after midnight and yet she hadn't gone to bed, she'd waited up for me. That was a nice feeling. I paid the driver and hurried out the taxi and smiled as Anne wrapped me in a warm hug before pulling me inside.

"Robin's gone to bed. He wanted to stay up but well... you know." Her eyes turned glassy, and I pulled her into another hug.

"It's alright. You should be in bed too." I peeked up at her and noticed she'd gained control of her emotions again.

"I know, Love. I just didn't want you to come home to a quiet, dark house. You hungry? I made sandwiches." She smiled, pulling me into the kitchen and sitting me down. I smiled as she placed a plate full of sandwiches in front of me and I smiled wider as I realised they were blueberry jam, my favourite.

"If I eat, will you go to bed?" I tried to reason with her, she looked tired.

"I think I can live with that." She smiled. "You look pretty. Your hair is getting so long again." I sighed, a happy, contented sigh as she ran her fingers softly through my hair.

"Thanks." I wolfed down the first sandwich, realising all I'd eaten all day was a Blueberry Muffin.

"Well, I'll leave you to eat. See you in the morning, Sweetheart." Anne smiled, heading for the stairs.

"Night, Anne." I waved a hand at her before tucking into the next sandwich.

I crept upstairs once I'd finished eating and briefly paused in the hallway. Anne always made up both Harry and Gemma's rooms so I could choose which one I'd prefer, I almost always chose Harry's. His room was like a huge comfy security blanket and that was exactly what I needed. I walked inside and quietly closed the door behind me. I ignored my suitcase and walked to the drawers beside Harry's bed and pulled out one of his t-shirts. I got undressed quickly and threw on the t-shirt before climbing into bed. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes tracing over the imaginary patterns I saw there.

"I wish you were here." I whispered before I could stop myself, my arms hugging the spare pillow tightly. I closed my eyes and I could almost hear him whisper, "Everything'll be alright, Baby. I got you." I could almost feel his arms enveloping me. Sleep was when Harry could fill my head, wandering freely among my dreams as if it were his playground and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it.

-----

"Jessi, are you awake?" I heard Anne's voice as she softly knocked on the door. I'd been awake for a little while but hadn't managed to force myself out of bed yet.

"Yeah. Come in." I smiled, but it quickly faded as I saw her face when she walked inside. It was a serious mix of fear and pain. "Is everything alright?" I rushed out of bed and pulled her to sit down.

"I just wanted to speak to you before breakfast, to warn you-" She paused.

"To warn me?" I swallowed hard, she was scaring me.

"Robin - he - the chemo. He doesn't exactly look how you remember." She composed herself.

"Oh OK. Is he in pain?" I didn't think I could handle seeing him in pain.

"No, I don't think so." She shook her head. "He's making you breakfast, he insisted."

"Sounds like him." We both let out a little laugh. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and left Harry's t-shirt on. "You ready?" I held out my hand to Anne who looked like she was miles away.

"Ready. I'm glad you're here." She linked her arm with mine as we headed out the room and downstairs. She held my arm tighter as we walked into the kitchen, Robin had his back to us, busy making breakfast and if Anne hadn't warned me, I might have gasped at the sight of him with no hair. I took a deep breath and tried to be strong.

"Oh my! Is that Bruce Willis making me breakfast?" I giggled.

"Oh, the comedian is here, I see." Robin laughed and turned to face me. I gripped Anne's arm tighter, he looked ill. For the first time since we found out he looked ill. Dark circles around his eyes, pale complexion, dry lips. He looked like he hadn't been eating. Fuck! This was harder than I thought.

"You love it. Oh, and Anne already made me delicious blueberry jam sandwiches so there better be something good in that pan, you're behind buddy!" I put on my best smile and Anne squeezed my arm encouragingly.

"I might just keep this Cinnamon French Toast for myself then?" Robin joked.

"You better be careful, she will fight you for it!" Harry chuckled from the kitchen doorway, startling everyone.

"Harry!" Anne exclaimed, rushing towards him. His face showed no hint of the shock he must be feeling at Robin's appearance. I hoped I was doing as good a job.

"Looks like I might need a bigger pan." Robin smiled, wrapping his arms around both Harry and Anne. It was a nice sight, for a fleeting moment it was as if everything was alright and I wished I had my camera.

"Hey, there's a little one missing!" Robin chuckled as both Anne and Harry reached out and pulled me into the hug. I sighed happily as Anne wrapped her arm around my shoulder and despite myself I couldn't stop from smiling as Harry's arm snaked around my waist, fingers drumming on my hip.

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Anne asked when we all finally broke apart.

"Jeff said I could have a day." Harry shrugged, he seemed tense.

"Oh." Anne failed to hide her disappointment that he wasn't staying longer.

"How'd your music video go?" Robin asked.

"At least you were wrapped up for it, nice coat by the way." I smiled and Anne and Robin's confused faces made me chuckle.

"Jess tried to steal my coffee." Harry laughed.

"Hey, I left with your coffee therefore I did steal your coffee." I nudged his side as we all sat down at the table to eat breakfast.

"OK, you have a point." Harry smiled at me before telling Anne and Robin the story of us bumping into each other and then he happily told us all about his music video. It sounded awesome, and it was obvious he was proud of himself.

"Harry, was that safe?" Anne exclaimed when Harry said he was 100ft up the air.

"I had a harness, plus I was over water. I'd have been fine." Harry waved his hand, dismissing her worry.

"You realise hitting water from that height would be like hitting concrete, right?" I scoffed.

"I was fine. You two worry too much." Harry scoffed back at me. Robin suddenly started coughing and Harry's hand linked with mine under the table. I squeezed his hand trying to reassure him or myself. I wasn't quite sure.

"So what are the plans for today then? We can go anywhere you'd like?" Robin grinned and Anne gave him a disapproving look.

"Actually, what I'd really love is a board game and movie day, if that's all right with everyone else?" Harry said.

"That sounds perfect." Anne smiled, and I nodded. It did sound good.

"That would be nice, we haven't done that in a while." Robin grinned. "So long as you all know you're going to lose."

"Movie first, can I pick?" Anne asked.

"So you mean do we want to watch Casablanca?" Harry teased his Mum and I couldn't help but giggle. I was glad I came here, this felt like exactly what I needed.

Anne rushed to find the movie and put it on while Robin sat down on one of the sofas and I sat down beside Harry on the other one. I pulled my feet up off the floor and crossed my legs, hugging one of the big fluffy pillows in front of me. I turned to face Harry as he tapped my thigh with his foot, succeeding in getting my attention.

"Scoot over." He smiled at me so I shuffled further along the sofa, assuming he wanted space to put his feet up.

"Not that way." He chuckled, reaching over and pulling me towards him. He pulled me so I was pressed up against him, his hands needily touching me wherever possible.

-----------

Harry's chin rubbed against my head, his arms tightened around my waist. I stroked his arms, slowly, trying to soothe him. He'd become more and more clingy as the day went on.

"Well, I think it's time for me to go to bed." Robin announced.

"Hold on, I'll get tidied up and come with you." Anne said.

"Don't worry about it Mum. I'll clear up." Harry said.

"No, Harry. It's ok. I'll get it!" 

"It's ok. I'll help him." I smiled back, standing up and clearing away our wine glasses. She finally agreed when she realised we wouldn't give up and Harry grabbed the empty bowls and followed me to the kitchen. Both of us together made light work of the tidying up.

"So I think I might head to bed too." I looked around to make sure we hadn't missed anything.

"Me too." Harry smiled.

"Oh shit! I better move my stuff out of your way." I hurried towards the stairs, remembering I was in his room. I paused when I felt his hand gently, wrap around my wrist.

"Or you could leave it where it is?" Harry half smiled.

"Don't be silly. I'll just move it into Gem's room." I smiled and turned to head upstairs again but he pulled on my wrist again.

"Don't." His voice was insistent. "Stay with me, please? I don't want to be on my own." When I looked in to his glassy eyes, I wanted to say yes. His entire demeanor was pleading with me to say yes.

"I don't know if that's a very good idea. I mean, I doubt Camille would be pleased about it?" I tried to tear my eyes away from him but I couldn't.

"We're not together anymore. Please Jess, don't leave me. I need you." Tears started running down his cheeks and I couldn't take anymore, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I wished I could take some of his pain away.

"Shh... don't cry. I'm here. It'll be okay." I stroked his hair as his tears soaked my shoulder, his arms clung to me as if his life depended on it. "It'll be okay, H." I didn't know who I was trying to convince, him or me. I wrapped my hand around his and pulled him up the stairs.

"Don't go." He mumbled almost incoherently once we reached his bedroom door. Without saying a word, I opened the door and let him pull me inside. He quickly got ready for bed and kept his eyes on me the whole time, making sure I wouldn't leave. Once he was ready, I pulled off my jeans and climbed onto the bed.

"Come here." I held out my arms, and he quickly lay down beside me, his head resting on my chest as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you." He said, holding me tight. "I don't want to leave in the morning."

"I don't want you to leave either." There was no doubt Harry had made it easier to pretend everything was fine, he made it easier to be brave, easier to be strong.

"How long are you staying?" He held me tighter.

"I fly home on Sunday." I replied, stroking his arm.

"Could you pass me my work phone? It should be in my pocket." He nodded to the floor beside me. I reached out my arm and felt around for his jeans, I pulled out his 'personal' phone first and placed it on the bedside table.

"You and your two phones." I muttered as I felt around for the second one. I finally managed to wrestle it from his pocket and handed it to him.

"You love my two phones." He chuckled.

"Hmm..." I sighed as his screen lit up the darkness. "Jeez, Styles." I flinched away from the light.

"Sorry. Done." He threw his phone back on the floor. "I'm staying until Sunday."

"I thought Jeff said-"

"Yeah well some things are more important." Harry cut me off and snuggled back onto my chest. I knew he'd made up his mind so it was pointless trying to argue with him besides I was glad he was staying.