Jessi

My feet felt lighter as I climbed the stairs to my apartment, I'd just got back from LA and it seemed like a few days away from memories of Harry, were exactly what I needed. I'd gone to a couple of yoga classes, lazed by the hotel pool and made a major decision about my future, I'd decided I needed a break from my job at Columbia. Being around the music industry was too painful. It reminded me of Harry every single second and every time I spotted somebody with long curly hair I prayed it was him but it never was. Every time I heard a love song it reminded me of what I'd lost, every sexy song made me think of him, every sad song fed my depression. As a prize for graduating top of my class, I'd won a trip with Nat Geo. I was meeting with them tomorrow to discuss where I'd be going. Columbia had been amazing about it and said my job would be waiting when I got back. For the first time in a while I was genuinely excited. I unlocked the door, closing it gently behind me. It still lacked that homely feeling it once had. I walked towards the kitchen table and put my bag down; I looked around and almost screamed as I spotted the tall body with short, dark hair sitting on the edge of my bed. I know it was crazy, but I'd properly mourned those curls when Lori had sent me a photo of his new hair cut.

"H - Harry?" My heart was still pounding from the shock.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Lori told me you were in LA." His head shot up, his eyes dark, angry and red from crying. I walked towards him, my instinct was to comfort him but the harshness in the way he spoke made me wary.

"I could ask you the same thing? this is my apartment." I slowly moved closer. "Is everything okay?"

"Like you don't fucking know!" He growled at me, and not in a sexy way, in an I want to rip your throat out way. I let out a loud gasp and froze. He hardly ever lost his temper with me.

"I swear, I don't know what's wrong but if you tell me maybe I can help?" My feet took tiny steps until I was within touching distance.

"ENOUGH WITH THE INNOCENT ACT!" He yelled, throwing his phone against the wall, it shattered into pieces and I threw my arms around him.

"Harry stop. Tell me what's wrong." I pleaded. Seeing him like this was tearing me apart.

"Don't touch me!" He lowered his voice slightly but easily pulled my arms from him and pushed me away. "You used a child to get back at me. It's sick and twisted. I - ha -" he paused unable to finish his sentence, but I knew what he was going to say, that he hated me. I had no idea what I'd done to him but now he hated me, I felt sick at the thought.

"Which child? I - I - don't understand." I stammered, my body still trying to come to terms with the words he'd left unspoken.

"You know which child." He pointed a finger in my face. "Benji, the boy you sent me to visit to punish me for sleeping with Kendall, only I didn't sleep with Kendall so you destroyed me for nothing!"

"You went to see Benji?" I smiled as I thought about how happy he'd be and I admit there was another feeling swirling at the back of my mind at the news he hadn't slept with Kendall. Although, that was none of my business. He's not mine anymore. "Hold on." I interrupted him before he could speak, "why would that destroy you?" I whispered, scared of where this conversation was heading.

"Why would that destroy me?" He repeated my question. "He was sick Jess and all because you got so jealous that I might have moved on, I saw him die! You are so fucked up!" He spat at me.

"No. No. No." Tears started to roll down my cheeks, my heart ached for Benji, for his parents, his family but it also ached for Harry, I can only imagine how hard that must have been for him.

"Stop with the crocodile tears. It won't wash!" He snapped and something inside me snapped too, anger overcame me, the idea he thought I would do something like this to him filled me with disgust and rage.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled, standing up and pointing to the door.

"What?" Harry's eyes went as wide as saucepans.

"GET OUT!" At this precise moment I never wanted to see him again.

"NO! You don't get to be angry at me, you did this!" He stood up in front of me.

"Are you listening to what you are accusing me of? You think I'd use an innocent child to get back at you for having sex with somebody else? You can have sex with whoever you want, we're not together anymore but you don't get to come into my home and accuse me of this twisted shit. Do you really think I'm that heartless?" I asked, looking up at him.

"You didn't seem to give a shit when you ripped my heart out and left me." He said.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Please, just leave?" I sat down on the bed, tears stinging my eyes. I heard his footsteps as he walked to the door and I looked up when I heard it close behind him.

I wished I'd stayed in LA. I wished I was anywhere but here. It was like I'd returned to a living hell. I couldn't believe Benji had died, he seemed so full of life in the video I saw of him. It wasn't fair. I heard a knock at the door. It was probably Lori. We were meant to have dinner later. I wiped away my tears; I refused to pull her into anymore of my problems with Harry. She knocked again, and I got up and walked to the door. I pulled it open and instead of Lori I was confronted with a sheepish-looking Harry.

"I asked you to leave." I tried to close the door, but he held his hand out to stop me.

"I'm sorry. I meant none of that. I was angry and upset and my mind went crazy. I saw him die Jess, I needed you and you weren't there. You cut me off, stopped talking to me. I'm not strong enough without you." I looked at him, really looked at him. He looked broken. His eyes were dull and the saddest I'd ever seen them, his hair was wild, his shirt all bent out of shape and despite how much he'd hurt me I couldn't just throw him out on the street like that. I held the door open and stepped aside to let him pass me. He walked paused at the kitchen table. 

"Will you hold me?" His voice was soft and pleading and I couldn't believe this was the same person who was yelling in my face a few moments ago. I pulled him over to 'his' armchair and sat him down before climbing into his lap and wrapping my arms around him. I didn't want him to hurt anymore, I didn't want either of us to hurt anymore.

"Harry, what happened to Benji?" I didn't understand.

"They found tumours Jess, too many. They said there was nothing they could do. He was brave, much braver than me. He made me promise to bring his bear, Harry to you, said he belonged with Bob. Only I had Bob, so I brought them both here." He pointed to a box beside my bed.

"Was he in pain?" I rested my head in the crook of his neck.

"I don't think so, they had him on some strong medication, he kind of just fell asleep." I could feel tears running down his cheeks. I looked up at him, my fingers pressed gently to his skin as I brushed them away.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that." I held him tighter, wishing I could brush his pain away as easily as his tears.

"I need you, Jessi Monroe. I don't know how to live without you. I'm sick of getting up every day and pretending everything is fine when really I'm broken and there's only one person who can fix me." He sighed as his arms held me tightly to his body, as if he was afraid I might suddenly disappear.

"I can't fix you. I don't even know how to fix myself." I confessed.

"Yes, you do. We can fix each other. You just have to ask." His long fingers moved to stroke my hip. "Do you know what my favourite days have been these past few months?" I shook my head, but they were probably the same as mine.

"That night in the pool, my birthday and your graduation. So to recap my favourite days have been when you left me again and when you drunkenly booty called me. How fucked up is that? Even my worst days with you are better than my best days without you." He sighed.

"I booty called you? You said I didn't do anything embarrassing." I hid my face in his chest.

"You fell asleep on me." Harry chuckled, and the sound felt magical like sleigh bells at Christmas or that twinkly sound of Tinkerbell's wings.

"Oh, my God. Are you serious?" Even drunk me was fucking things up.

"Yep. It was still the most fun I've had since you left." His hand squeezed my thigh. "Why did you come to our apartment the other night?"

"Your Mum asked me too." I paused, wondering for a second whether I should tell him the whole truth. "And because I love you and you were sick. I'll always come if you need me, Harry." I knew that would be true until the day I died.

"I need you now." He whispered, his nose brushing against my ear.

"Harry you are stronger than you think, you don't need me." I stroked his chest, the familiar scent of his cologne meandering through my senses, making me feel at home.

"You're wrong. You make me strong." He said, holding me tight.

"Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that you make me strong?" I sang, I couldn't stop myself.

"I'm being serious, Jess. I don't know how to live without you." He tilted my head up to look at him.

"Maybe we just need to learn. I will be going away for a bit, maybe that will help?" I hoped it would.

"Going away where?" Harry exclaimed, his arms squishing me tighter.

"My trip with Nat Geo. Don't know where yet, I have a meeting with them tomorrow." My body relaxed in his hold, the way the sand shifted to the will of the tide.

"Can I come with you?" His question made my heart ache.

"I don't think that will help us get used to living without each other. Besides you start filming soon." I replied.

"Yeah fuck that. Living without each other isn't my plan." He snapped.

"Harry, I just want you to be happy." I sighed.

"Well, let's get back together then." He stared at me.

"I can't keep doing this." I stood up, forcing myself out of the bubble of comfort he'd provided. If it wasn't him, then it was Lori, I couldn't just magic away the paps and how they made me feel, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Don't. Come back. I'm sorry!" His fingers gripped my hips, and he pulled me back into his lap. His arms wrapped around my middle. I should probably make him leave but I didn't want to, so I relaxed in his arms and rested my back against his chest. I gasped as he kissed my neck and bolts of electricity shot through my body from the spot. He moved to the crook of my neck, his kiss longer and wetter this time.

"Harry?" I gulped, swallowing a moan.

"Please? I need to be with you. I know it won't change anything." He moved his kisses along my shoulder. In my head I knew I should stop him but my heart kept my mouth firmly shut. I wanted this, no I needed this as much as he did. "I've missed you." He hummed against my skin as his hands rubbed circles into my hips. My skin tingled, like his touch had suddenly awoken it. I reached behind me and ran my hands through his hair, a little sigh leaving my lips when my fingers came to the end way too soon. It was a strange thing to miss but boy, I missed those curls. I missed the way they felt on my fingers, I missed the way they fanned out on my pillow, I missed the way they framed his gorgeous face, I missed the way they tickled my thighs when he was busy pleasing me and I missed watching him shake them and flip them back. I let go of the new short strands as he pulled off my top. My skin tingled again as he swept my hair to the side and undid my strapless bra, letting it fall to the floor. A moan escaped my lips as he held my breasts in his hands, his thumbs rubbing my nipples, hardening them instantly. I sighed at the loss of contact as he suddenly stopped and wrapped his arms around my waist. A grin spread across my face as I felt his erection press against my arse as he stood us both up. He spun me round to face him. "Nothing turns me on like the sight of you." He growled. I grabbed at his shirt, ripping it open and sending buttons flying off in different directions, I didn't care. He chuckled as I pushed the redundant material off his shoulders and watched it flutter to the floor before my eyes flicked back to his naked torso. I let my fingers trace over his tattoos, my eyes drinking them in like the words to my favourite poem. My hand lingered on his always tattoo and I smiled as his pointer finger traced over mine. I gasped as I realised we hadn't even kissed yet. I stood on my tiptoes.

"Kiss me." I commanded, my lips pressed together as they reached for his. He quickly closed the gap, a whine leaving my throat as his lips moulded to mine. I felt a jolt of electricity course through my whole body as he slid his tongue inside my mouth. Moans vibrating across our tongues as they danced together. Our hands fumbled with each other's jeans. I shimmied out of mine once he'd undone them and then he grabbed my thighs, wanting me to jump into his arms, I happily obliged and he carried me to the bed, laying me down gently before getting rid of his own jeans.

"The prettiest sight I've ever seen." His wild green eyes scanned my body. I let my eyes drift to the huge bulge in his boxers, licking my lips with anticipation. "Still as horny as ever?" He chuckled, noticing where my eyes lingered.

"Only for you." I smiled, reaching to pull him down on the bed. He crawled up my body before kissing me passionately, his bulge pressing against me, driving me wild. I pushed up against it as he trailed wet kisses down towards my breasts.

"Mhmm... Harry!" I moaned as he licked my nipple. I'd forgotten how damn good he could make me feel, I could barely contain myself as his hand slid down my stomach towards my pants. I tried to shuffle up the bed towards his hand, I needed his touch.

"Be patient, Baby." He held me down. My heart roaring into life as he used my pet name, I'd missed hearing him call me that so so much. He hooked his fingers in my pants and dragged them down to my knees, his tongue still working its magic on my nipples which felt so hard and sensitive I didn't think I could take much more.

"Yes!" I exclaimed as his fingers brushed down my centre, teasing my clit before he pushed a finger inside me. I needed more. Harry sat up and my nipples tingled in the cold air. I groaned in frustration as he withdrew his finger. I tilted my head up to protest, but the words got muddled in my head as he stuck out his tongue and ran his finger down it. "I've missed your taste, Baby. So good." His voice like velvet. He was making me even wetter. I smiled as he lowered his head, my body tingling as he licked up towards my clit.

"H - Harry!" I stuttered as he began to suck on it, hard. My hands struggled to stay gripped in his short hair as I arched my pelvis off the bed, begging him for more. "Fuck!" I panted as he pushed his tongue inside me, his thumb now working my clit, rubbing those little strokes that sent me into a frenzy and no matter how hard I tried I wasn't able to emulate on my own. He twirled his tongue, before pulling it out slowly and repeating the action, over and over. I felt my orgasm building up inside me, my head going fuzzy. "Shit, Harry! I'm - so - close." I was becoming breathless.

"Give it to me!" He mumbled against me, the vibrations traveling over my whole body. His tongue moved faster, flicking my clit before pushing back inside me. "I love you!" I yelled as I came all over his tongue, the words bursting straight from my heart as my head was too fuzzy to concentrate and my body twitched uncontrollably.

"Mmm..." Harry growled, as he crawled up my body, leaving little kisses as he did so. I moaned as his lips pressed softly to mine, his tongue carefully exploring my mouth, I loved having my taste on his tongue but all too quickly he pulled away.

"I love you too." He whispered, his teeth nipping at my ear. As soon as I'd recovered, I pushed him down on the bed.

"My turn!" I grinned, straddling him. I placed hungry kisses over his strong chest, down his torso, I paused at his butterfly. My thumbs pressed against the tips of the wings as my fingers clutched his sides and my nose pressed to its body. I wanted to hug myself against it as a sadness bubbled in the pit of my stomach. 

"Baby?" Harry said softly, pulling me back to the moment at hand. I continued with my trail of kisses, my tongue poking out to lick his belly button to cover the tear that had dripped from my eye. The action earned a gentle moan from Harry and I tried to get control of my emotions, this wasn't the time to be sad. I pressed my palm to his bulge, the damp patch in his boxers brought a smug smile to my face. It felt good to know I still had this effect on him. I shuffled off the edge of the bed, dragging the Calvin's all the way down his legs and throwing them across the room. I got back on the bed and pressed my knees against his thighs, making myself comfortable between his legs before I lowered my head, Harry's impatient whimpers playing like music in my ears. I pressed a chaste kiss to the tip, "Je-" his words caught in his throat as I sucked his head into my mouth, my tongue eagerly hoovering up the escaping drops of pre-cum.

"Fuck, that feels good." He groaned. I took in his whole length, sucking hard. "FUCK! JESS!" He yelled. His hand wrapping itself in my hair as I bobbed up and down. I gently tugged his balls and hummed with satisfaction as his moans got louder. "I'm so close, baby." I twirled my tongue around his tip before taking him in my mouth again. "FUCK!" He yelled as his cum hit my throat. I swallowed and cleaned up every last drop with my tongue. I'd missed his taste on my tongue and I tried to memorize it for the next night where I felt lonely.

"You're amazing." He panted, and I flopped down onto the bed beside him, my face nuzzling into his side and placing soft kisses there, as my arm draped lazily across his body. My eyes flicked up to his bird cage and theatre mask tattoos, my neck craned so I could place a kiss there. I whined as he climbed out the bed. The searing pain in my chest, as I thought he might leave, paralyzed me. "C'mere?" He held out his hand and without hesitation I placed my hand in his, my heart calming as he wrapped his fingers around mine. With one strong move Harry stood me in front of him, my eyes level with his chest. "I still need you." He whispered, and it felt like my entire body screamed I need you too but no words came to me. My hands grasped at his hips and my forehead fell against his chest.

"Bend over for me?" He breathed as his hands carefully maneuvered my body so I was facing the bed. I did as he asked, kneeling on the edge of the bed. I rested my head against my forearms, my arse up in the air. My body shivered as he dragged his hand up my spine, his large hands squeezing my arse softly. I wiggled backwards, so I pressed more firmly into his hands, I'd missed the feeling of his ringed fingers caressing my bottom. He removed his right hand and slid it between my thighs, rubbing my clit and sliding his middle finger inside me. "Still so fucking wet, all for me?" He panted and removed his hand completely.

"Harry. Please. I need you." I begged, as I felt his tip poke at my entrance, unable to back into him or I'd fall off the edge of the bed.

"Since you asked so nicely." He chuckled as he slid inside me. My walls tightened around him and I let out a satisfied hum at how full I felt. His hands gripped my hips as he pulled out and slowly sunk back in. His fingers were probably leaving bruises they were gripping me so tight but I didn't want him to let me go. My head was spinning as he kept up with his deliciously slow pace, my forehead rubbing against my arms in response to his movements.

"Faster, please?" I groaned, my orgasm building in the pit of my stomach again. I bit my lip as he upped the pace, the sound of our skin slapping together echoing in my small apartment. I reached between my legs to rub his balls and he let out a guttural moan.

"Shit, Jess!" He breathed, thrusting harder, hitting my g-spot every damn time. His fingernails were digging into my skin but I quite enjoyed the pain.

"M'so close, Baby." He panted.

"Me too." He was making the bed rock as his thrusts were getting rougher and my whole body prickled with excitement, it had been way too long since I felt him release inside me. Just the thought of it had me teetering on the edge of the abyss.

"FUCK ME JESS!" He yelled as he released powerfully inside me, his stuttering thrusts sending me tumbling over the edge, my knees and body trembling. Harry let go of my hips and I collapsed onto the bed, my breath shaking but I felt completely content. Harry fell onto the bed beside me, his breathing heavy. I smiled as he pulled me into his sweat soaked body, his arms wrapping protectively around me. He hummed as he stroked my hair and kissed my neck.

"I've missed this." I sighed when I finally caught my breath. "Being in your arms."

"I miss you so much, Baby." He squeezed me tighter.

-----

I didn't know how long we'd been lying here but I was startled by a knock at the door.

"Ignore it." Harry whispered.

"JESSI! I know you're in there. The car is outside. We're going to be late for dinner." Lori yelled. Shit! I'd forgot all about dinner with her and Niall.

"Shit! She'll freak if she finds you here. Shit! Shit! Shit!" I scrambled around, looking for Harry's clothes.

"Calm down!" He chuckled, sprawling out in the bed like a starfish.

"Harry, it's not funny. She'll assume we're getting back together. Help me!" I begged, bouncing on the tips of my toes as I clutched his clothes helplessly.

"JESS!" Lori yelled.

"Give me a second Lor! I'm just out the shower!" I yelled, trying to buy some time.

"Well, let me in. I feel like an idiot standing out here!" She yelled back.

"Just a second." I replied. I handed Harry's clothes to him.

"Where do you want me to go?" He smiled, clearly amused by the situation.

"Get under the bed." I whispered.

"You can't be serious?" He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Please, H?" I begged, my eyes pleading with his.

"Fine." He muttered, crawling under the bed. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me before I rushed to the door.

"JESS! WHAT THE FU -" She paused as I opened the door.

"Hi!" I smiled. She pushed her way inside, looking around the apartment.

"So how was LA?" She said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Good. Everything okay?" I asked. I shuffled on my feet, feeling like I had the words I just had sex with Harry, tattooed on my forehead.

"I'm not sure. Is it Jess?" She smirked.

"Yeah. I'm good." I smiled. It was true. I was the happiest I'd been in months.

"Well, come on. Get ready and wear something nice, we're going out afterwards." Lori smiled, and I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't been busted.

"Out where?" I asked while walking to my wardrobe. I stood there, looking blankly at my clothes.

"To a club. Z is meeting us, with some people. There might be hot boys there." Lori chuckled.

"Ugh. I'm not interested Lor." I sighed, still staring at my clothes. I had no idea what to wear. I heard Harry tap the floor, so I walked over to the bed.

"Wear the blue dress. Also Zayn invited me tonight, can I come?" Harry whispered.

"Sure. I can't stop you." I whispered back.

"What are you whispering for?" Lori asked.

"Just talking to myself, trying to decide what to wear. What do you think about this?" I asked, holding up the blue dress Harry suggested. I'd wore it on one of our first dates.

"Hot! I thought you weren't interested in boys." She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not." I walked back to the wardrobe and got changed, Harry's green eyes watching me from under the bed. I hurried into the bathroom and put on a little makeup, my hair actually looked good for once. I put on my Louboutin boots and grabbed a black Alexander McQueen cross-body bag that Harry had bought me.

"Ready?" I smiled at Lori.

"Smoking hot!" She grinned. "We will get you laid tonight."

"Lori!" I scolded.

"Come on. You've been wound up tighter than a spring lately. It's okay to be horny." She laughed. I was horny, I chuckled to myself. I was.

-----

Dinner had been nice. We'd went to a new Italian place, the food was delicious. And I was even having fun at the club, although I was a little disappointed there was no sign of Harry.

"Wanna dance?" Zayn asked as Cheerleader started to play. I nodded, it had become mine and Zayn's song, we danced whenever it came on. He held my hand as we danced, a few girls gave me jealous looks. I felt hands on my waist and saw Zayn glare over my shoulder before pulling me close to him. I was enjoying the protection, Lori was trying to match me up with every guy in the building. Apparently, I needed to have some fun, relieve tension is how she referred to it.

"Listen, H has been messaging me, he wants to join us. Do you mind?" Zayn yelled in my ear, it was hard to hear over the music. That explained why there was no Harry so far.

"I don't mind." I yelled back.

"You sure?" 

"I'm sure." I smiled, pulling him back to our table. I stole Lori from Niall and dragged her up to dance. Lori always encouraged me to dance much sexier than I usually would. We danced to a few songs, and I smiled as Starving started to play, I couldn't help but laugh as she slutdropped me. I remembered watching Niall's face the first time she did that to him, poor guy turned bright red. I felt a hand on my waist and assuming it was Zayn I turned around. I frowned as I realised it was one of the guys Zayn had brought. I hadn't met either of them before and I think Zayn only really knew the one called George, I think George had invited this guy whose name I couldn't remember. I pulled his hand off me and went back to dancing with Lori. I saw her eyes darken, and I knew he hadn't left. He grabbed my arm.

"You look so sexy in this dress." His eyes roamed my body. He made me feel uneasy.

"I'm not interested. I'm dancing with my friend." I pushed his chest. I turned back to Lori and then I cursed as I felt hands grab my hips and pull me backwards. He pressed my arse to his groin and started grinding on me.

"How is somebody like you single?" I flinched as his lips grazed my ear as he spoke. I clawed at his hands but they wouldn't budge. Lori yelled but I couldn't hear what she was saying, the music was too loud, she tried to get Niall's attention. I tried to wriggle free, but he only seemed to enjoy that. I dug my nails into his fingers as hard as I could but he still wouldn't let go.

"I'd let her go if I were you." I recognised Harry's growl, it was dripping in anger.

"Fuck off dude, she's mine!" I heard my attacker yell, tightening his grip, he was hurting me, his fingers digging into my hips.

"Listen, dude!" Harry mocked. "Get your greedy fucking hands off her or I will break your fingers one by fucking one!" I'd never heard his voice so angry before. Whatever his name was let me go and Lori pulled me towards her. I turned around to see Harry towering over this guy, since he was about my height. Harry's eyes traveled over to me.

"You okay?" He mouthed and I don't know what came over me, I don't know if it was left over feelings from earlier or just relief he'd saved me but I ran towards him and jumped, thankfully Harry realised and caught me, I wrapped my legs around him, not caring that my dress had slid up my thighs, not caring we were in public, not caring we weren't together anymore.

"Hey, it's okay, Baby. I got you." He soothed, I held him tight.

He eventually put me down, his hands gently pulling my dress back down my thighs. I noticed Lori had went back to the table and her, Zayn and Niall were watching us.

Harry placed his hand on my lower back as we walked towards the table. I liked it; it made me feel safe and protected.

"Who the fuck was that guy?" Harry asked when we reached the table, he kept his hand on my back. Lori was watching us intently. We sat down and Harry sat beside me, he wrapped his arm further around my body, his hand resting on my hip. I instinctively shuffled closer to him and a warm feeling spread through my body as he gently squeezed my hip. This was the most comfortable and relaxed I'd felt in ages.

"Are you okay?" Niall asked as Harry was talking, nope he was lecturing Zayn about his choice of friends and I noticed that George had left too.

"Yeah. Thanks Niall." I smiled. Him and Lori were sitting across from me, Harry and Zayn.

"He was scary." Lori said, resting her head on Niall's shoulder.

"Yeah." I nodded. He was scary. My mind started to race as I thought about what might have happened if Harry hadn't shown up. I looked down at my hands, they were trembling. I squeezed Harry's thigh, and he reassuringly stroked and patted my hip.

"Niall, can we have a picture?" Two girls yelled behind me. He glanced at Lori to make sure it was okay. He always did this even although she never minded. Harry used to do it with me too. Lori nodded so Niall stood up.

"We want Lori to be in the picture too." The girls replied. She smiled and stood up with Niall.

"Would you like me to take the picture for you? What are your names?" I asked, turning to face them.

"Holy shit, Jessi!" They both exclaimed, making me laugh. "And Harry. AND ZAYN!" Their voices got louder. Their eyes stopped on Harry's arm, hugging me.

"I'm Mel and that's Britney." 

"Are you guys back together?" Britney asked as they glanced at each other.

"No." I replied, and I instantly felt cold as Harry removed his arm from around me.

"Just trying to protect her from arseholes." Harry smiled but there was no doubt his mood had shifted.

"Aww. You guys should get back together, we love you." Mel said.

"Yeah, we want a double wedding with Niall and Lori." Britney smiled. I smiled at Lori but I still missed Harry's touch.

"So you still want this picture?" I asked and Mel handed me her phone.

"Yeah." They smiled, moving to stand on either side of Niall and Lori. I smiled, it meant they weren't just pretending to like Lori to impress Niall. I knew from my experiences with Harry, when they stood between us it meant they'd just crop me out of the photo later.

"And you owe us a photo of Harry. We haven't had one since that hella awkward interview, when he kept calling you Jessica." Britney smiled. I turned to Harry.

"Smile!" I said, he poked his tongue out instead and I took the picture. "There you go." I smiled, handing her phone back.

"You should post a weekly Harry pic!" Lori smiled.

"A Sunday Styles." Niall added.

"Great name, Babe." Lori kissed Niall's cheek.

"I'll see what I can do." I smiled. They smiled back at me.

"Zayn, we still love you." Britney smiled.

"I still love you too!" Zayn grinned. The girls left, and I wanted Harry to put his arm around me again but he didn't, I moved closer, the side of my body pressed up against his. Lori was watching me but I didn't care. I was about to say something to him when I heard Zayn's song, Like I Would, play.

"Come on Z. We have to dance!" I yelled, pulling him from his seat. He mildly protested before giving up when he realised I wasn't taking no for an answer.

I danced up close to him, laughing when he blushed. It always made me laugh when he got all embarrassed when I was flirty with him. He danced way too shyly sometimes. The song finished, and he tried to run away. Talk Dirty started.

"Please stay?" I pouted.

"Mind if I steal her Z?" I recognised Harry's voice as his hands gently held my hips. Zayn quickly disappeared, and I turned to face Harry. He held my waist as we danced. He looked good, he had on skinny jeans, black boots and a sheer black shirt with three buttons done up, at most.

"So was all that flirting for my benefit?" He whispered, his right hand sliding to squeeze my butt. My eyes widened. If Lori was still watching us she'd be having a fit right about now.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Sure you don't. You made Zayn blush." His lips brushed my ear as he spoke. "I can't stop thinking about you."

"Fuck. I can't." I let him go, and rushed towards the door, I needed air. I could feel myself being pulled back in and I couldn't let that happen. That's why I needed to get away, I needed to get over him. The cool air on my skin made me shiver.

"Baby, you shouldn't run out of a club by yourself. It's dangerous." Harry said as he pulled me towards him.

"You shouldn't call me that." I snapped. I didn't deserve that name. I wasn't his.

"OK. So we're back to this, are we? Back to trying to force ourselves not to like each other. This is bullshit, Jess!" He groaned. "This afternoon was amazing. I fucking love you and you can run as far as you like that's not going to fucking change."

I grabbed his shirt and pressed my head to his chest. I was sick of fighting with him; he said he'd never stop loving me but every time we saw each other I felt like I was pushing him closer and closer to hating me. I had to get away. Suddenly Niall and Lori passed us, their lips joining them together. Zayn soon followed them, he was holding hands with a girl.

"There you guys are. Can you make sure Jess gets home safely, Harry?" Zayn's eyes begged him to say yes.

"Sure." Harry said, and we watched as both couples stumbled into their taxis. "Wait here." Harry sighed and disappeared inside. The night air felt chilly, and I rubbed my hands on my arms as I waited for Harry to come back. Everywhere I looked seemed to have a loved up couple and it just seemed to make me feel colder. "Here you go!" Harry's voice startled me as I'd got lost watching a couple get very handsy up against a wall. He slipped my bag over my body and wrapped his hand around mine as he pulled me around the back of the club and I smiled as I realised he'd brought his bike. He handed me the purple sparkly helmet I'd bought to wear when we rode this bike and I watched as he pulled on his matching one. "Here, put this on!" He held out his jacket, and I slid my arms inside, it was so soft and cozy. I climbed on the bike once Harry was comfortable and wrapped my arms around him lazily, my hands resting on his thighs. He lifted my arms up and pulled them tightly around him, "Hold tight! You're gonna have zero protection if you fall!" He commanded. I held him tightly as he started up the bike, I felt like I had so much to say to him but I didn't know what to say besides we couldn't speak on the bike, anyway. I tried to share as much of the jacket with him as I could, trying to keep him warm as he drove me home.

-----

When we finally reached my apartment, Harry was chittering. I slid off his jacket and put it on him, doing the buttons up all the way to the top. I put my helmet away in the storage compartment under my seat.

"Goodnight Jessi!" He said, and I noticed he'd taken his helmet off.

"Night Styles." I replied and walked to my apartment building door. I didn't want this to be the end, but I feared it might be.

"Jess!" He called after me. I spun round to face him. "I really hope you find whatever it is you're looking for when you go away." He forced a smile before putting on his helmet and riding off. I just stood there. How do I make him see I already found everything I was looking for and what I needed from my trip was to learn how to live without it?