Jessi

"Can we talk now?" Fred flopped down in the seat beside me.

"Yeah, you okay? You've been kinda quiet tonight." I smiled. Him and Jamie were usually inseparable but Jamie had been off with some girl all night, the fact Fred wasn't with one of her girlfriends was odd.

"Jessi - I - christ I have to get it out - I can't tell Harry - I just can't - I'm in love-"

"There you are! Wanna dance?" Mickey interrupted.

"No, thanks." I replied politely, turning my attention back to Fred. The panicked look on his face made me want to hug him tight. 

"Okay, what are you guys talking about?" Mickey sat down on my other side.

"Could you give us some space please? It's a private conversation." I turned my head towards Mickey and felt relieved when he left. "Sorry, Fred. Go on!"

"I'm in love with Jamie." He breathed out all in one go and I saw the relief flooding his face. 

"Does he like you?" I turned towards Fred as I glanced at Jamie grinding against some girl.

"I don't know." He frowned. "I mean I always thought Jamie was straight but a few months ago he brought this girl back to our flat." I nodded for him to continue. "So anyway, to cut a long story short we'd all been drinking, and it comes up that this girl likes to watch guys kiss, right?" I nodded, feeling pretty disappointed that Jamie would use his friend like this.

"So you kissed?"

"Well, see here's the thing. Jamie got pissed at her, told her I wasn't some toy for her amusement but she meant nothing by it she didn't know I was Bi. So yeah, she left and before I knew what was happening Jamie was straddling my lap and he - he kissed me."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. 

"I know, right?" Fred replied.

"So what happened? What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything, we snogged for a bit and it was becoming pretty obvious he was enjoying it, you know?" I nodded to show I understood what he meant. "But he was wasted, so I stopped it and made sure he got to bed okay and he hasn't mentioned it since, I don't even think he remembers." Fred sighed.

"Bloody hell, you need to talk to him." I glanced over to see Jamie looking around the bar, a smile spreading across his face when he spotted Fred.

"I can't. He's my best friend Jess. It's gonna fuck up everything."

"Trust me, saying nothing can fuck things up just as bad." I sighed as my eyes landed on Harry. He was dancing with Lori and she was blind drunk, his eyes didn't know where to look.

"Hey Fred, where have you been hiding?" Jamie said, shooing me to make a space for him to sit next to Fred. "Talk to him." I mouthed to Fred as I moved further down the bench, trying to give them some privacy. My eyes drifted back towards Harry. He had a bottle of water in his hand as he chatted with a few people. I watched in wonder as he had the crowd hanging on his every word, laughing when he wanted them to laugh.

"Fuck! I want him back."

"WHAT?" Ed exclaimed. Shit! Did I just say that out loud?

"Huh? Where the hell did you come from?" I tried to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You want Harry back? Since when? Go get him!" Ed almost squealed.

"He has a girlfriend besides I can't. I don't even - I feel like I don't know what to say to him anymore." I sighed.

"They broke up and you don't have to talk, you can sing!" He jumped up out his seat and pulled me behind him, weaving his way in and out of the crowd of people.

"Seriously? He's not with Dallas? Since when? And what do you mean I can sing?" Realisation hit me like a smack in the face when he stopped in front of the karaoke machine.

"Oh, fuck no!" I yelled.

"Fuck yes! And Harry told me he broke up with her." I didn't understand, he was talking to Dallas earlier. Ed pushed the song book towards me, "Now pick or I will." I could tell from the look on his face he was deadly serious. My eyes flicked over the multiple song titles and I paused when I spotted one that could work.

"Which one?" Ed grabbed the book. "That one?" I nodded.

"YES! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!" He yelled. He pushed me onto the stage and started up the machine. Nobody had even noticed me standing here yet, and I already felt like I wanted to vomit.

"Excuse me, everyone!" Ed yelled into the microphone. "My friend here would like to sing a song for somebody here. He knows who he is. Take it away Jess." He handed me the microphone and I couldn't help but wish I was more drunk. The music started, and I felt like I was having a heart attack, it was rattling around inside like a pebble in a glass. I glanced down at Ed who was stood right in front of me, "you can do this" he grinned, giving me a thumbs up. I took a deep breath and started to sing, my gaze locked firmly on the floor.

I got a girl crush

Hate to admit it but

I got a heart rush

Ain't slowing down

I kept my eyes glued on the floor, too scared to look anywhere else. I especially didn't want to look at Harry. But I was beginning to relax as I sang my way to the chorus, feeling happy nobody had booed me off yet.

I want to taste her lips

Yeah, 'cause they taste like you

I want to drown myself

In a bottle of her perfume

I smiled as I spotted Lori standing beside Ed. "Oh my God!" She yelled. Feeling braver, I started to look through the crowd for Harry but I couldn't see him anywhere as I continued to sing.

I don't get no sleep

I don't get no peace

Thinking about her

Under your bed sheets

And then I spotted why I hadn't seen him, he was being obscured by a tall blonde attached to him at the lips, her arms wrapped tightly around him, his hands placed on her shoulders. I dropped the microphone and flinched as it made a screeching noise which made my ears hurt almost as much as my heart, the searing pain quickly spread through my entire body. I grabbed Lori and dragged her to our bags and jackets, tears were carving their way down my cheeks now and I'd honestly never felt so stupid. I felt so glad when I spotted a taxi sitting outside and dragged Lori into the back.

"What the hell Jess? Are you okay? What happened?" Lori flung her arms around me and I tried to catch my breath so I could talk.

"Dallas - at least - I - I assume that's w-who he w-was - kissing." I forced the words out between sobs. I couldn't get the image of them out of my head. Seeing him kiss somebody else wasn't something I was prepared for, it hurt so much.

"What? He was kissing Dallas? But they broke up?" She was slurring terribly, and she smelled like alcohol but I was still so thankful she was here.

"I saw it." I coughed out.

"Don't cry, Jess. It'll be okay." She squeezed me tight, stroking my hair the way my Mum used to when I was upset. It comforted me as I sobbed all of my heartache onto her shoulder.

Harry

"Hey Babe!" Dallas' face appeared in front of mine, blocking my view of the stage. My eyes had been glued there from the moment I heard Jessi's sweet voice. She looked so beautiful but I could hear the nervousness in her voice. My feet were itching to take me to her. 

"Dallas can you get out of my way?" I sighed, not even caring why she was here. I gasped as she pressed her lips to mine, her arms wrapping tightly around me so I couldn't move. My hands pressed against her shoulders, trying to push her away but she just pressed her lips to mine harder. 

"Dallas stop!" I whined but my words were muffled against her mouth, I loosened my hands from her shoulders and reached behind me to prize her hands from me and then the screeching sound of a mic being dropped filled the room and Dallas suddenly let me go. I immediately stepped back from her and held out my arm to keep her away. 

"Come on, Babe, let's go home and we can continue this in the bedroom." Dallas smiled, pushing my hand out the way. 

"Continue what? You kissing me against my will? Just stay away from me, Dallas." I sighed, turning to walk away from her. 

"Harry, what the hell, man?!" Ed yelled, and I spun around to talk to him. "Are you deaf? She wants you back, you idiot!" Ed poked me in the chest.

"Fuck! I heard alright. Where is she? I need to explain." I swatted his arm away. I frantically scanned the room, looking for any sign of Jess but I couldn't see her.

"Harold, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Dallas smiled, wrapping herself around my arm.

"No, and I already told you to get off me." I shook my arm free. 

"Babe, don't be like that. I thought you'd be glad I came to your little party." She smiled.

"Actually, it's my party and I don't remember inviting you." Ed cut in before I could open my mouth.

"Sorry, let me introduce myself, I'm Dallas. Harry's girlfriend." She smiled, throwing her arms around my neck, almost choking me.

"I'm Ed. And not to be rude but I still don't remember inviting you and you just upset my friend, so you're not exactly off to a good start." I was really loosing my patience, I grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms off of me. I needed to find Jessi, where was she? Maybe she was in the toilets. 

"Aw, Harold! Have I upset you?" She pinched my cheek.

"Not Haz -"

"Oh, you mean that girl who ran off crying? What was that song even about, anyway?" Dallas cackled, like a witch.

"She was crying?" I looked at Ed, pleading with him to tell me Dallas was wrong. I mean she couldn't really think I wanted to kiss Dallas, she heard me break up with her, right?

"What's it got to do with you? How many times have I told you, you can't stop to help every dumb girl that gets upset?"

"Yeah, H. Can you blame her?" Ed glared at Dallas.

"Fuck! Where is she?" My voice pleaded, hoping Ed knew the answer.

"I don't know. She left with Lori." A smile spread across my face as I realised what he was planning.

"Thanks Ed, I'll start at Lori and Niall's apartment." I walked towards the exit and Dallas grabbed my wrist. Her fingers pinching my skin.

"Harold, stop! Where do you think you're going? I swear if you leave it's over. For real this time." She snarled at me.

"Dallas, it's already over. I don't know why you came here. We're finished." I pulled my arm free of her hold with little trouble.

"Yes! Go get her Haz!" I heard Ed yell as I continued to push through the crowd to the exit. It seemed like the crowd was never ending, every time I made it by somebody another three seemed to take their place. When I eventually made it outside, I felt like I was gasping for air.

I waved down a taxi and quickly climbed in the back, giving him Lori and Niall's address. I couldn't believe Jess finally wanted us to get back together. I was giving up hope she'd ever change her mind. I should've found her after Dallas called earlier instead of drinking that shot of Tequila with Ed but I lost my nerve. Not that I found any courage in the tiny glass either. I'd went back to drinking water after that though but every time I went to talk to Jess I bottled it, every time I've tried to tell her how I felt she had turned me down and every time hurt just as much as the last. I had plans to meet Danny tomorrow to get his advice on how to deal with seeing the woman you love and not have her. I didn't understand how he could see Anna almost every day and be her friend when he was in love with her. From what he'd told me, Jess was a lot like her Mum, they both had a stubborn streak. There was no talking them out of something once they'd set their mind to it. She was definitely where Jess got those amazing chocolate brown eyes of hers and that smile that made my heart race.

My palms were sweating. I just couldn't believe that I could get Jessi back. What would I say to her? Maybe I should just kiss her? I hadn't felt those soft lips on mine for such a long time. Three months, just over three months. I'd give anything to be cuddled up in bed beside her, my arms wrapped around her as we shared our adventures and our dreams for our future. She was so soft at night when I held her in my arms, all her hard edges melted away and she was completely vulnerable. It made me feel special she trusted me enough to let me see that.

"Hey Dude, we're here." The taxi driver snapped me from my thoughts. I thanked him and told him to keep the change as I handed over the money. I hurried out the car and into the lift. For the first time in months I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like I was walking on air as I hurried to Lori and Niall's apartment. I impatiently started banging on the door, becoming frustrated at how long it was taking someone to answer. I banged again, a little louder this time.

"All right, all right! I'm coming." I heard Lori yell from the other side. The lock clicked, and she opened the door just enough to poke her head out. Fury immediately clouded her face and before I could even talk she slapped me, hard, across the cheek.

"Fuck, Lori!" My hand clutched my hot and stinging skin.

"Not even you get to treat Jessi like that, you hear me?" She stood with her hand on her hip.

"I'm sorry. You don't understand. Just please let me talk to Jess. I can explain." I begged.

"Oh, you can explain? This ought to be good. Let me guess, she was choking, and you were giving her mouth to mouth? Or her lips were cold, and you were just warming them up? You tripped and fell into them?"

"Lor, stop! Can you just let me talk?" I sighed.

"Well, go on then." She huffed.

"I was watching Jess and the next thing I knew Dallas was in front of me and planted her lips on me. I didn't kiss her -"

"Haz, you're 6ft of muscle, if you didn't want to kiss her then you'd have no problem getting out of it." Lori cut me off.

"What did you want me to do? Knock her flat on her ass? I'm not a monster, I didn't want to hurt her." I sighed. "Jess?" I yelled, I was wasting my time explaining all this to Lori.

"Honestly yes, if it meant I didn't have to hold my best friend while she broke her heart then yes, knock her flat on her ass every time. I don't care."

"Please, just let me talk to her." I begged.

"No. I never thought I'd say this but I think you should just stay away from her. Every time you're around her lately she ends up hurting and in tears and I don't think she can take much more. Please, just leave her alone." Her words hit me harder than her slap to my cheek.

"You really think I hurt her? That's the opposite of what I want to do." I felt winded, I didn't really hurt her, did I?

"I know it is, Harry, so please just leave her alone." Lori was begging.

"Let me talk to her and I promise I'll leave her alone if that's what she wants. Come on, it's a win win, either we get back together or I promise to stay out of her life. You can't lose?" I hoped she would go for my proposal. I just had to see Jess.

"She's not here." Lori looked guilty.

"What? What do you mean she's not here? Where is she?"

"She wouldn't stay. I tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen. She insisted on going home and you know she's stronger than me. I'm sorry, H. I should have stopped her." She looked down at the ground. I can't believe she wasted all this time.

"So she's at her apartment?" I asked.

Lori nodded, "wait, take Niall's car," she disappeared and came back holding a set of keys.

"Thanks Lor." I took the keys from her and hurried downstairs. I prayed she had went home.

Jessi

The taxi pulled up outside my apartment. I thanked the driver and paid him before climbing out. Coming back here had never given me that safe, warm feeling that it did when Harry lived here with me. I missed coming home to him and tonight I properly felt like I would never get that feeling back. It was time to move on. I needed to move on or I would drive myself crazy.

"Jessi?" A voice yelled from a car that had just pulled up where my taxi had been parked. Who could that be? I walked over to the window and peered inside.

"Mickey? What are you doing here?" How did he know where I lived? I hadn't told him.

"Uhm..." He looked shamefully at the floor. "I'll admit that this will sound creepy but I saw you leave earlier, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"

"Did - Did you - follow me here?" He was right, that was creepy as fuck but a part of me thought it was sort of sweet.

"I warned you it would sound creepy. I'm sorry. I was just worried about you." He shrugged.

"I'll be okay. Uhm - do you want to come in for a coffee?" I felt obliged to ask since he'd drove all this way just to make sure I was okay.

"Coffee would be great, if you don't mind? I could just leave if I've freaked you out?" He frowned.

"Well, I admit you might have freaked me out a little but come on, I feel like an idiot talking to you through the window." He smiled widely as he closed the window and climbed out the car.

-----

"So this is your place?" Mickey said as I made the coffee.

"Uh huh. This is it." I handed a cup of coffee to him.

"I like it." He smiled before a sheepish look spread across his face as he looked at the coffee. "Uhm, do you have milk and sugar?"

"Oh shit, sorry!" I felt my cheeks turn red, I can't believe I'd automatically made him coffee the way Harry, and I liked it.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." He followed me to the kitchen and placed his cup on the counter. I poured in some milk.

"How many sugars?" I asked.

"Two." His arm brushed mine as he stood beside me. "So what happened earlier?" He picked up his cup after I'd added the sugar.

"Do you mind if we talk about something else?" I really didn't want to talk about it, especially not to him.

"Have you done any modelling?" I laughed out loud. "What? It was a serious question." He was smiling.

"Please, I'm 5ft nothing, what exactly am I supposed to model, children's clothes?" I was still laughing.

"I'd have you model everything. You're stunning." I gasped as his hand stroked my cheek. "Sorry." He pulled his hand away and my eyes widened as he ran his hand through his hair and I spotted a tattoo.

"I didn't picture you as having tattoos." I pointed towards his bicep. He flexed his muscles while pulling his sleeve back to reveal two feathers. I liked it. And I had to admit those biceps were something else.

"You have two that I can see." He smirked.

"Five in total." I replied, my fingers running over his tattoo. I'd had a few added recently.

"Your hands are so soft." He pulled me closer with his other arm and I didn't fight him. I looked into his perfectly blue eyes. "Jessi..."

"Yeah?"

"I want to kiss you." He moved even closer, his hard, muscular body pressed up against mine.

"Well, do it." I gasped as he did. His kiss was hungry and so was mine. I hadn't kissed anyone since Harry and I just needed to feel something apart from hurt. He gently slid his tongue into my mouth and I found my own tongue doing the same. His kiss didn't feel like Harry's, it wasn't filled with love or commitment but it felt nice. I hooked my fingers through his belt loops and pulled him towards my bedroom.

"Jessi? Are you sure about this?" He broke away from me to speak.

"You have protection, right?" He nodded and pulled his wallet from his back pocket and then pulled out a condom packet from it.  I was still taking birth control, but I didn't know this guy so the extra protection was necessary. "Good." I smirked and pushed him down on the bed. I climbed on top of him and smiled as I felt his bulge already forming in his trousers. I pulled on his t-shirt and he sat up allowing me to pull it off his body.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as I took in his chiseled form. I swear he had abs on his abs. He was like the mold for a God and yet I'd rather be looking at the tattooed body I knew better than I knew myself. He pushed me up onto my feet and pulled the zipper for my dress all the way down, sending chills over my body. I wriggled out of my dress and pushed it to the floor before stepping out of it. "Fuck! Now that is wow!" Mickey growled, pulling me back down onto the bed. I ground against his bulge, forcing a moan from his mouth as he reached behind me to undo my bra. I yelped in surprise as he flipped us over so he was now on top. His lips hungrily working their way down my body. I let out a moan as he enveloped my nipple with his mouth, sucking on it hard. It felt so good, but again I found myself wishing it was somebody else's mouth. He pressed his other hand flat against my stomach before slowly moving it down my body. I wriggled on the bed, impatiently waiting for his touch where I needed it. His hands were rough compared to Harry's. Stop thinking about Harry.

"You're body is amazing." Mickey groaned, his hand reaching into my pants. I bit my lip in anticipation. He slid his finger all the way down my centre before gently circling my clit.

"Fuck!" I gasped, arching my back.

"Oh you like that, huh?" He repeated the action.

"Mmm... Hmm..." I nodded. He didn't make me feel like Harry did but he wasn't bad either.

Harry

I drove past the black Porsche parked outside of Jessi's apartment and parked in front of it. Mr Lewis, from 2b must have a new car. I quickly climbed out and looked up at her apartment, her bedroom light was on so she was home. I smiled as her silhouette appeared in the window; I was always telling her she needed to close her curtains. My eyes raked over the outline of her body. I'd missed her so much. Ever since we broke up, it's been like half of me is missing. I can barely concentrate on anything.

Suddenly all the air left my body as someone else appeared in the window. I had no idea who it was, but it was obviously a male, I could tell that much from his silhouette. Calm Harry, maybe he's just a friend. It could be Zayn but I dismissed that thought, he was too muscular to be Zayn. "Blue eyes." I growled. How the fuck did he get here?

My eyes stayed glued on the scene in front of me. He wrapped his arm around her. Come on Jess, get rid of him already. However, she didn't get rid of him and I stumbled back and fell against Niall's car as I struggled to take in what had happened next. She kissed him; she fucking kissed him, so much for her wanting me back?

I'd seen enough. I couldn't take anymore, my fingers clutched the door handle and I yanked it open, my body falling into the seat like a sack of potatoes. My heart felt like it was trying to claw it's way through my insides. I had to get out of here even although my hands were shaking and I could barely see for tears. I couldn't stay here, this was killing me.