Jessi

"Uhm... So I have to be up early tomorrow?" My eyes glanced over the male body beside me, wishing with all my heart he was somebody else. This was a mistake. I thought it would make me feel better, but if anything I felt worse, emptier and more alone.

"You don't have to make pathetic excuses. If you want me to leave just say so?" Mickey scoffed. Ah and there it is, the real asshole shining through now he'd gotten what he wanted. Fuck! I'm an idiot!

"Fine. Leave." I growled at him, getting out of bed and putting on an old oversized t-shirt.

"See. Wasn't so hard was it?" He smirked, picking up his clothes as slowly as he could. "So I'd like to do this again?"

"Seriously? This was a mistake, it should never have happened." I held my head in my hands.

"Calm down Jessi, it was just sex. We didn't kill anyone. I don't have time for a relationship and you - well you don't seem to want a relationship either so..." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I wanted to smack him but he had a point. A relationship was the last thing I wanted, and the sex wasn't bad. Was I seriously considering this?

"How would it work?" I said, almost in a whisper.

"I'll call you when I'm horny and vice versa." Mickey smirked.

"No dates. No gifts and no staying over." I added.

"Deal?" He held out his hand, and I shook it. "I guess I'll be seeing you." He smirked as he left and I couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself. I picked up all my clothes and shoved them in the laundry basket and then my eyes fell on my bed, the sheets all wrinkled from where we'd just had sex and I began to strip the bed. All the happy memories I had with Harry in this bed seemed tainted. I squashed all the dirty sheets in beside my clothes and headed to the shower. I tried in vain to wash all the guilt and regret from my body but the more I scrubbed, the worse I felt. What the fuck had I done?

-----

Harry

I woke up with a pounding headache; I flung my arm out to reach the glass of water I kept on the bedside table and my body fell to the floor with a thump.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Oh fuck! No! I curled up on the floor and closed my eyes, willing myself to wake up properly. The memories of last night came flooding back to me. Jess - the bottle of Tequila - Dallas. I groaned as I hugged my knees to my chest. What the hell was drunk me thinking? "Harry? Babe?" Dallas' feet landed with a thud beside my head. "If you're gonna hurl, then please do it in the bathroom!"

"Don't need to, could you grab me some water, please?" Jess would have already got me an icy glass of cold water and some painkillers by now.

"Oh, all right. Get up! You can't stay there all day!" She huffed as I heard her footsteps get further and further away. I rolled onto my back and banged my head against the floor. What the fuck was I doing here?

----------

Jessi

One month later.

I was in LA, heading to Lori and Niall's. We were meeting up for lunch and I couldn't wait. I'd missed them so much but this past month had been crazy. I was arranging my own photography jobs, and they were random and varied and all over the place. It was exhausting but exciting. I'd met up with Zayn and Louis and a few of their friends about a week ago, Harry was supposed to be there too but he canceled at the last minute. Louis let slip that he was avoiding me which I admit hurt but I couldn't force him to see me. He was still with Dallas which hurt a little more, despite everyone saying they weren't serious, they'd been together for almost five months now.

I pushed all those thoughts from my head as I pulled up to Lori and Niall's gate and smiled as it opened. I pulled in and parked my car and before I'd even gotten out of the car Lori was rushing towards me. She looked great. LA definitely agreed with her. I climbed out the car and flung my arms around her. I smiled as she held me tight.

"I've missed you." I smiled.

"Me too. Just move here already." She giggled, holding onto my arm as we walked inside.

"Well, I can't fault the weather and it has three of my most favourite people!" I giggled back.

"One of those better be me!" Niall crushed me in a hug.

"Obviously!" he tickled me. "Not!" I joked to get him back.

"Nice try. I know you love me, Lil' Sissy!" He smirked.

"Stop hogging her Ni!" Lori smiled, pulling me away from him. "Oh, I was on a photoshoot with Dougie Poynter the other day. He was there with his sister. He says 'Hi'. You should hit that." She smirked.

"She told him that too." Niall whispered in my ear. I shook my head although it didn't surprise me.

"What were you shooting him for?" I asked.

"Oh. It wasn't his photoshoot. Jazzie was doing a shoot for Lanvin. He liked your photos for Nat Geo." She smirked.

"You guys shouldn't leave your door wide open. Anyone could just walk in!" Harry's voice suddenly boomed. His chuckle had me rooted to the spot.

"We're in the kitchen!" Niall yelled and Lori held my hand, making me feel even more anxious. Why was she trying to comfort me? What was she expecting to happen? My eyes were glued to the entrance to the kitchen and my breath hitched at the sight of him, he was tanned and his dimples were deep from the grin on his face. It faded immediately and his eyes darkened as soon as his eyes landed on me.

"You didn't tell me she'd be here." He spat, turning on his heels and heading back towards the door. Niall hurried after him. I squeezed Lori's hand tight. He really was avoiding me and he seemed mad at me but I didn't know why. I hadn't seen or heard from him since Ed's show.

"It's okay. Jess, it'll be okay." Lori said but I couldn't take in her words as Harry's were cutting through me like knives.

"No, get off me Niall. You know I don't want to see her. You can't just trick me into being here. You know I - you know how - Fuck! No Niall!" Harry was shoved back into the kitchen and he immediately turned his back on me and Lori. "Well come on then, why have you forced me into being here with her? Hurry so I can leave!"

"Please Niall, just let him go. I can't -" I paused as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Before I could react, I felt Lori wipe them away.

"Oh, and here come the fucking tears -"

"HEY! ENOUGH!" Niall yelled. He was inches from Harry and he looked furious.

"Niall stop. I don't know what's going on here but clearly you guys need Harry here so I'll just go and I can come back when he's gone. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems." I walked towards the kitchen entrance with Lori following me, her hand pulling on my arm as she tried to stop me.

"You never do, do you? But you just keep fucking everything up!" Harry spat, his eyes filled with venom.

"Jessi, don't move another inch!" Niall said before turning back to Harry, "And I told you that's enough." The room went quiet.

"Come on, let's sit down." I let Lori pull me towards the Living Room and didn't object as she sat me down on the sofa, she sat down beside me and I looked up to see Harry and Niall sat on the sofa opposite. I quickly glanced at Harry but had to look away again, my heart really couldn't take him looking at me like that.

"Why do you hate me?" I whispered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Hate you?" Harry sounded stunned. "I don't hate you. I could never. I - why would you think that?"

"That's how you've been acting." Lori snapped. "For weeks now and we're sick of it. Sick of having to choose who's best friend we invite because you refuse to have anything to do with Jess. Well now, you don't have a choice because Niall and I are getting married and you will be the best man and Jessi will be my maid of honor -"

"LORI!" I flung my arms around her. "You're getting married!"

"I am!" She squealed excitedly. I glanced over to see Niall and Harry in a similar embrace and I climbed over the coffee table, pulling Lori with me and throwing my arms back around her and Niall.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Harry said, and I felt his hand clutching my shoulder. I tried to pretend like it meant nothing but my heart immediately betrayed me and began beating uncontrollably.

"Good, we're glad you're both happy." Niall smiled as we broke apart.

"Yeah. the two of you can get on with planning our engagement party while we make lunch." Lori smiled. "And if I hear any hint of arguing the two of you will be replaced as Best Man and Maid of Honor, got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Harry saluted and I couldn't help but giggle.

"I know what the theme should be." Harry smiled once they'd gone. Apparently we were pretending everything was fine between us. I was glad, I knew we had to talk but not now, now was all about Lori and Niall.

"Oh really? And what would that be, Styles?" I smiled back.

"Disney. Everyone should come as a Prince or Princess. It's perfect!" He leaned back on the sofa, his hands clasped behind his head. He was right, it was perfect for them.

"And who would you dress as?" I asked.

"Well, that depends, and I didn't hear you admit that I was right!" A cocky smirk played on his lips.

"Yeah, yeah. It's perfect. You were right. Who's Dallas' favourite princess?" I asked.

"Dallas doesn't have one, she thinks Disney is for kids." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I already know I'll be Prince Eric, assuming you are going as Ariel, I know she's your favourite."

"Why would it matter what I'm going as? You don't have to match me." I kicked off my shoes and crossed my legs on the sofa.

"Uhm... yeah I do. Don't you know anything? I'm the Best Man and you are Maid of Honor. We should match, we'll probably have to dance together too."

"Uhm, do you know anything? We only have to dance at the actual Wedding and even then it depends if Lori and Niall want to do that." I poked his side.

"Niall! Lori!" Harry yelled.

"I swear if you two are arguing-" he paused in the doorway. "Yes?"

"Sure Jess has to dance with me at the party and our costumes should match?"

"Costumes? You two aren't planning some nerdy Star Wars or Superhero thing are you? Lori will go ballistic." Niall whispered and glanced over his shoulder to check Lori wasn't there.

"Nothing nerdy, I promise!" I smiled at him.

"Yeah, nothing nerdy but Jess and I have to dance and we should match, right?" Harry tried again.

"I don't think those are actual rules, H. But you guys are planning this party so if that's what you want then sure. Just make Lori happy, okay?" Niall smiled. "Also, can you guys be like this all the time? Everyone hates it when you don't get along?"

I glanced at Harry. "Friends?" I held out my hand. He grabbed it and pulled me into a hug. "Friends."

"Awesome. Lori will be so happy." Niall left us alone again.

"Did you mean that?" I asked, Harry still had his arm around me, it felt nice.

"I did. I need you in my life Jess." He still didn't move his arm, so I just left it.

"Our best friends are getting married." I smiled.

"Yeah. I'm so happy for them." Harry said and I could sense something else in his voice.

"Are you okay?" I nudged him.

"Yeah. It's just I - it doesn't matter. Are you bringing your boyfriend to the party?"

"Maybe if I had one. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know, Jess." He drew circles on the top of my arm. "I'm fine, I promise. What about blue eyes from Ed's party? Isn't he your boyfriend?" Lori is terrible at keeping secrets.

"He's not anything, we kinda had a - pact?"

"A pact? What kind of pact?" I could tell it amused him I was struggling to find the words.

"Well, we were supposed to be fuck buddies but I haven't heard from him in a month so I'm guessing he found something better. Turns out I can't even do that properly." I forced out a laugh.

"Oh, Jess." His hand stopped drawing circles on my arm and instead held my head against his chest. "You deserve so much better than that and he's more of an idiot than I thought if he thinks he can do better than you."

"It's alright Harry, it's not like I liked him but I liked the agreement. No dates. No staying over. No romantic stuff. Just sex." I clamped my mouth shut. Stop over sharing, Jess.

"I'm aware of the concept, Jess and for the record if a fuck buddy is what you want you'd have no trouble finding one but please don't?" He stroked my hair. "You deserve somebody who would give you the world not somebody who would use you for their own pleasure."

"Harry, it's alright. It was what I wanted besides it's not happening anymore, anyway. I'm a big girl though, I could handle it."

"Maybe I couldn't though?" Harry squeezed me tight.

"That's not really your concern but I understand where you're coming from, I just want you to be happy too." I patted his chest.

"Happy is a stretch. How about we compromise on okay? I'm okay." He chuckled.

"Yeah. I'm okay too." I joined his chuckling.

"Well, you two sound like you're having fun?" Lori said, her eyes widening as she walked into the room. I could tell she was trying not to freak out at how close we were.

"We are. Your party will be out of this world." Harry teased.

"Well, that sounds good." She smiled.

"Yeah, you could say in a galaxy far, far away." I smirked.

"You guys are not dressing people up as monkeys for my engagement party!" She pouted.

"Wookies!" Me and Harry said at the same time.

"NIALL!" Lori yelled.

"Yeah, babe?" Niall smiled.

"Niall tell them they can't make our engagement party dorky!" She pouted.

"But Lor I have these awesome candles that look like light sabers. They'd make wicked centrepieces." I laughed.

"Do you?" Harry sounded genuinely interested.

"Yeah, well, I only have one now, me and Z broke one having a fight with them." I smiled.

"Guys, you promised?" Niall scalded.

"We're only joking Lor. You will love your party, I promise." She gave me a suspicious look.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Harry said in a Darth Vader voice and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I think I prefer it when you're arguing." Lori joked.

----------

I'd just emailed off all of Niall and Lori's engagement party invites and now I was bored. Gemma was in London and everyone else was in LA. Harry and I had been party planning for two weeks now. But now that I'd completed all of my latest tasks I was stuck with nothing to do so when my phone rang I snatched it up so quickly it almost flew right out of my hand.

"Hello?"

"Jessi? It's Mickey."

"Oh, Hi!" What did he want? I hadn't heard a peep from him in well over a month.

"How've you been?"

"Good, you?" A message from Harry popped up on my laptop.

"Same. Listen, the reason I called is I need a huge favour?"

"I'm pretty busy but I'll see what I can do?" I opened Harry's message, he wanted to know the name of the flowers Lori liked, I replied reminding him for about the 10th time that she liked Stargazer Lilies.

"Well, I've been invited to a party later, and it turns out my ex will be there and she sort of thinks I have a girlfriend so... wanna be my fake girlfriend? There'll be loads of photography contacts there and we could fuck afterwards?"

"Uhm..." It beat sitting around in my apartment but I was still pissed with him.

"Please Jess, you'd be saving my life!"

"Okay." Jesus, maybe Lori was right about moving to LA. I was so bored I'd agreed to go out with this idiot.

"Awesome I'll pick you up at 7pm. Don't wear anything too fancy, just a little cocktail dress. Later Jess." He hung up without waiting for my reply or thanking me. Arsehole.

Harry

"Dee, do I have to come?" I pulled the black suit from my wardrobe and a pink shirt. I chuckled as Jessi's reply popped up on my laptop, "For the millionth time - Stargazer Lilly's!"

"Yeah. Babe, please? People will pay me more attention if you're there." Dallas appeared in the doorway wearing one of the shortest dresses I'd ever seen. It was something you'd wear clubbing rather than a dinner.

"Is that what you are wearing?" I asked.

"Is it wrong?" She sighed.

"Not wrong, it's just you keep saying you want people to take you more seriously as a model, yeah?"

"Yes. Will you help me?" I hung up my suit and went to help her find a dress.

-----

We'd only been at this party for half an hour and it already bored me. Dallas had disappeared, so I was hanging out near the bar. I knew she'd do this to me, she always did. I should've stayed at home and just as I was about to go order another drink I caught the smell of Daisy in the air. I automatically looked around like I always did whenever I smelt her perfume, it was never her though. I smiled as it seemed I was wrong this time. Jessi was here with Mickey Blue Eyes, her little fuck buddy. Oh, I would enjoy this. I snuck up behind her when he went to the bar.

"Liar!" I exclaimed, and she almost jumped out her skin. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Harry, you almost gave me a heart attack!" She scolded, but she was smiling when she turned to face me. I pulled her into a hug.

"So... he looked friendly for a fuck buddy." I smirked, he'd had his arm wrapped tightly around her and he'd given her a peck on the cheek when he left.

"His ex is here. I'm his fake girlfriend. And before you judge me I was bored, it's not my fault you all moved to LA and left me with no friends!" She whined.

"Oh Jessi!" I chuckled, this was gold.

"Oh, shut up. What are you doing here, anyway?" She smacked my shoulder.

"Dallas. She's here somewhere. She left me by the bar so I've been hanging out with my friend Don Julio." I smirked, raising my glass, the ice clinking against the side.

"Hmm... how many have you had?" She smiled. I held up three fingers, and she giggled. "Yes! Another couple and mischievous Harry will make an appearance. I think this party just got more fun."

"Hi Bud, can I help you?" Blue Eyes smirked, putting his arm around Jessi's waist before handing her a glass of red wine. Clearly, he hadn't bothered to ask what she wanted as she didn't like red wine.

"Mickey? What are you doing? This is Harry." She rolled her eyes.

"Harry who?" He glared at me. I don't know exactly what he was trying to do, maybe he was trying to annoy me but the only person he was annoying was Jess.

"Oh, stop behaving like a child, you know exactly who he is. Now please excuse me while I go get myself a drink." She handed him the red wine and walked off to the bar.

"She doesn't like red wine." I smiled at him.

"What are you playing at?" He snapped at me.

"Me? Nothing. I was just talking to my friend." I replied, watching Jess over his shoulder. She looked stunning as always.

"Oh, you guys are friends now? Well, just remember she's here with me, okay?"

"Alright. Alright. Don't break a nail!" I could literally see steam coming out of his ears.

"Hey, look! I found my friend Sailor Jerry." I smiled as I recognised the usual dark liquid in her glass. I'd missed the smell of rum and the taste of it on her tongue, I'd even found myself pouring myself some when I felt especially lonely.

"Hey Jerry! Say hello to Don Julio!" I clinked her glass with mine and she giggled. "I still have that case of Appleton I got in Jamaica for you."

"Anyway, it was nice talking to you Harry but we have to go. There's somebody I want you to meet!" Mickey grabbed Jessi's arm and walked off with her. I sighed and went to find Dallas.

"Where have you been?" Dallas glared at me.

"At the bar. Where you left me." I complained.

"Are you drunk?" She took my drink from my hand.

"Not yet." I smirked.

"Come and talk to this guy with me. He's going to be shooting a campaign for Moschino." She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her. I wished I was hanging out with Jess.

-----

Jessi

"Look, there she is over there. What's she doing?" This was about the tenth time he'd asked me this. I was so bored. He was obsessed with every little move she made.

"Why don't you go talk to her? Or come dance?" I watched the floor filled with people dancing.

"Fine, come on then." I smiled expecting him to head to the dance floor, instead he headed towards her, he still hadn't actually told me her name. He grabbed my arse, making me flinch.

"Evening Michael!" She smiled.

"Hi Eva!" He gripped my waist and pulled me closer to him. "This is Jessi." He turned to me, "And this is Eva."

"Hi!" I smiled. She nodded and smiled.

"So how are you?" She smiled.

"Great. Jess is my girlfriend." I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. Calm down, Mickey. Jeez!

"That's nice. I heard you photographed Obama. How was that?" So far she didn't seem to be the bitch Mickey had made her out to be.

"I wondered how long it would take you!" Mickey snapped at her.

"You poached him from me!" Eva snapped back. Great, now I was in the middle of a fight. I pulled out my phone as they continued to dig at each other and sent Harry a message asking if he wanted to dance. The next song the DJ played was Pillowtalk, I sang along and watched the dance floor as Mickey and Eva continued arguing. I sighed as Harry didn't reply even although he'd seen my message. As Pillowtalk finished, I heard the DJ talk, but I wasn't paying attention, I was considering walking out. I'd rather be home alone than here. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and assuming it was Mickey I turned to give him a piece of my mind but I smiled as I realised it was Harry.

"May I have this dance?" He smiled, holding out his hand.

"Yes." I said excitedly as I recognised the song. Since I Don't Have You by Guns N Roses. I took his hand and followed him to the dance floor. He placed his hand in the small of my back and his free hand held mine as I held his waist. We moved in time to the music and Harry sang the words to me. I never thought we'd be in a position to mean those words.

As the song finished the DJ said he'd had a request for the next song and I chuckled as Act my Age started playing.

"Come on, let's get a drink!" Harry smiled.

"No I wanna dance, please?" I begged. "When I'm fat and old and my kids think I'm a joke" I giggled. He shook his head before joining in, and I felt the happiest I'd felt in ages as we goofed around, even attempting Irish dancing.

"Come on Jess, we're leaving." Mickey suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Harry. "Sorry." I mouthed as Mickey dragged me further and further away. I lost sight of Harry and felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and quickly checked my messages. I smiled as I spotted one from Harry. "It's ok. Luv ya, H"

-----

I lay in the hotel bed completely unsatisfied as Mickey got rid of the condom.

"Sorry babe, I don't have time to finish you off. I have to be somewhere in the morning." He muttered as he started to get ready. This was the last straw. I jumped out of the bed and got ready as fast as I could. I don't even know why I'd agreed to come here.

"I'm not your babe and please don't call me again!" I grabbed my heels and bag and headed to the door.

"Jess, don't be like that!" He yelled after me but I didn't stop, I rushed into the lift and let out a relieved sigh as the doors closed behind me. I put my shoes on as the lift headed downstairs. I sighed as my phone was suddenly going crazy. I pulled it out expecting to see a message from Mickey but it was Harry. He'd sent five texts, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't please me.

"Jess, what are you doing?"

"Probably Blue Eyes. Don't answer that."

"I'm bored."

"I have Pizza."

"Come over."

"Where are you?" I replied.

"Ours. Tribeca."

I put my phone away and walked the few blocks to our old apartment. It was probably a bad idea, but I didn't care. I didn't want to head back to my empty apartment.

-----

I knocked on the apartment door even although I still had my key. My phone had been going crazy on the way over here but I'd resisted the temptation to see what other madness Harry had sent me. The door suddenly flew open, revealing an almost naked Harry. He only had on his boxers.

"Jess, you came!" He yelled and then collapsed into a fit of laughter.

"Are you alright?" I asked, he seemed more drunk than his texts suggested.

"You came!" He laughed more. "Or did you?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" I stepped inside and closed the door.

"Is that a yes or a no?" He smirked.

"What are you talking about?" He was crazy. "And where's this pizza?"

"There." He pointed to the kitchen, and I smiled as I spotted it. "You want a drink? We can try your Rum?"

"I'll get it." I smiled, walking to the drinks cabinet. I pulled out two glasses and placed three cubes of ice in each glass and poured the golden liquid over the top.

"Do you want a t-shirt to change into?"

"Can I have the pink shirt you were wearing? Please?" My eyes raked over his body again. Fuck, he looked good. I forced myself to look away. I took a slice of pizza and carried our drinks over to the sofa.

"Here you go." He handed me the shirt, and I smiled.

"Well, look away then." He rolled his eyes and turned his back. I quickly got changed, enjoying being surrounded by his scent.

"You know I can see your reflection in the window, right?" I smacked his shoulder when I realised he was right.

"What? I couldn't help myself. I haven't seen that amazing little body of yours in way too long." He chuckled. I decided to keep my mouth shut and change the subject since I'd also been checking him out ever since I walked through the door.

"Where's Dallas?" He immediately stopped laughing.

"At her apartment, I think. She didn't want me to come home with her." He shrugged.

"I can't believe I didn't get to meet her." I stole a bite of the slice of pizza he'd picked up.

"She wouldn't have been interested in talking to you, since she couldn't fuck you to advance her career." I almost choked on my drink.

"Are you joking? You are joking, right?" I couldn't believe he was telling me she cheats on him. I mean, who would cheat on Harry?

"You remember she disappeared at the party?" He picked up the pizza and pulled me down to sit beside him on the sofa.

"Yeah?"

"Well, when she came back from wherever she'd been, she had no bra on." He said it as if he was telling a super boring story and I just stared at him in disbelief. What was he doing with this girl?

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be, it's not the first time." He shrugged.

"Jeez, how did we end up here? You with a girlfriend who cheats and me with a fuck buddy who, well, let's just say he didn't exactly live up to his job." I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on the sofa. How had we become so tragic?

"Well, being with Dallas means I don't have to stay here alone all the time. I hate being here. It just reminds me of everything I've lost." He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.

"My apartment feels empty without you too." I rested my head against his shoulder as he held me tight.

"Jess?" He whispered.

"Yeah?" I was getting lost in his aftershave and the smell of him.

"You know that thing Blue Eyes couldn't do? Well, I could do it." He squeezed my thigh and my entire body felt like it was alight and burning only for him.

"I know but we can't." I had to stay strong, things were finally okay between us, I couldn't lose him again.

"We could be fuck buddies if that's what you want? We don't have to tell anyone, it can be our little secret. I'll finish with Dallas and we can alternate between here and your apartment and you can even just call me if you need a hug or you can't sleep?" He held me tight and a huge part of me just wanted to give in but I knew we couldn't.

"Harry, it wouldn't work." I sighed.

"Why?"

"How can we have meaningless sex if I love you?" My voice raised without me realising.

"Who said it has to be meaningless? We could be make love buddies?" He brushed my hair behind my ear and his hand rested on my cheek.

"You really think we can sleep together and then leave and go about our lives pretending we're not in love? Because I can tell you right now that pretending I'm not in love with you is pretty fucking hard already."

"Please baby, let's just try?" He cupped my face in his hands and pulled my head so our noses were almost touching. His perfect pink lips just begged to be kissed. "Remember that time Lori almost caught us in bed together and we went out that night and nobody had a clue."

"Yes H, I remember. I remember how it ended up with us not talking and me running away for three months." I couldn't do that again, I just couldn't.

"I thought it was the fact I was dating Dallas that made you stay away for so long. Lori told me it was. You know I didn't mean to hurt you? Right?" He hugged me tight.

"It was everything. I had to get away, and I wouldn't blame you for wanting to hurt me. I'm a bitch. I was selfish. I ruined everything, and I have destroyed both of us." Tears escaped my eyes, falling onto his shoulder.

"Jess, I don't blame you. It's not just your fault. I should have made you stay, I should have fought harder. Every day, I kick myself for letting you go." This just made me cry even more. He blamed himself for something that was all my fault.

"I should go. This is why we can't be fuck buddies, H. Too much has happened." I tried to move, but he held me in place.

"No. No. No. I'm not letting you leave. We're not going back to not talking. Let's press rewind, forget everything I said about fuck buddies. We're just two friends, having drinks and pizza." He didn't loosen his grip for a second.

"Okay." I didn't want to go back to not talking either. He moved me so I was sitting beside him on the sofa, his arm draped over my shoulder. "So I heard you've been making music. Can I hear it?"

"I don't have any recordings here or I would but hold on." He suddenly got up, and I watched him disappear into one of the guest bedrooms, I smiled as he came back with his journal.

"Gimme! Gimme!" I reached my arm out over the back of the sofa.

"Alright. Calm down!" He chuckled handing it over. "I know which one will be your favourite and your second favourite." My eyes were literally devouring the words on the pages. These were amazing, beautiful, so filled with emotion. I wanted to hear them, all of them. But he was right, there were a few I found myself re-reading, one in particular.

My head jerked up when I heard him play his guitar. I smiled as he sang the chorus of one of the other songs.

Sweet creature, sweet creature,

Wherever I go, you'll bring me home,

Sweet creature, sweet creature,

When I run out of road, you bring me home.

He tapped me on the nose as he finished. I closed the journal and just smiled at him. I was so proud of him.

"I wrote that the day after X Factor. You know I wouldn't have made it out of the corridor if you hadn't come and found me right?" He sat his guitar down beside the sofa.

"Harry, I don't think the world would have left you in an empty corridor in London." I giggled.

"You know what I mean." He playfully nudged me. "I was panicking, and you made me feel like everything would be okay. You always make me feel safe."

"You do the same for me." I pulled him closer so I could hug him. I was getting sleepy. I looked at the clock and gasped as I realised it was 4am. "Holy shit, it's late." I giggled. "Or early!"

"Don't go. I don't want to be alone." Harry held me tight.

"Me neither." I snuggled in beside him and closed my eyes, yawning loudly. He pulled us both down so we were lying on the sofa, his arm snaking around me once I'd stopped wriggling to get comfortable and I drifted off into the most restful sleep I'd had in months.