-Gabriel-

We arrive at your apartment and I can't stop noticing how you keep refusing to look at me. Our drive home was silent. It was never about the driver hearing our conversation either; you never cared, knowing I could take control over that. Your thoughts were scrambling more than ever before. I know you're doing whatever you can to keep me out. I don't quite know whether I should be annoyed or astounded about your... "ability". I've never given anyone a chance to shut me out. I didn't allow any time for it.

Because of your standoffish behavior, I choose to stay out of your head and observe you as if you're a child going about her business in a tantrum.

You hurry up the stairs, bumping into a young thin repairman with his baseball-cap down along the way. He looks back at you, lifting the bill of his hat. "Excuse you, lady!" But you ignore him like he was never there. He keeps watching, expecting a response from you and accidently bumps into me. I stare at him coldly and he rolls his eyes, continuing down the stairs.

You're clumsy as you unlock your door and storm inside, mumbling about how you can't believe me.

With a steady, almost ghost-like stroll, I follow close behind, resting my hands in my pockets. You hate when I have my eyes locked on you like this; oftentimes, you think of it as if I'm hunting you.

"Addison, you will have to speak to me." my voice is low as I watch you toss your keys across the counter and sniffle. Your face is red and looks blistered from all the overwhelming emotions you're going through.

Still, you won't look at me.

Isn't this a little over-dramatic?  

You stop in the middle of the living room, groaning as you put hands on your face, trying to stop the tears.

Kitten, you're so warm. I can feel it from where I'm standing. Everything is so much more intense when you're like this; I can hear your blood flowing so fervently through your veins, your scent is even sweeter, your voice and breath is a heavenly, desperate sound of invitation. Not knowing what you're thinking, after reading you and others for so long, it's an almost unbearable ache to refrain from looking in.

Every cell of my being is teeming with blood-thirst.

Why does this have to happen to me? Why, Addison?

"Stop crying." I unintentionally growl, trying to hold back the urge of giving in to a veracious rage.

You drop your hands as you make two fists, and never look at me. You stare straight ahead, growing more tense. I see your veins almost protruding from all the stress. Another human couldn't see this.

"We are not going to Florida." you muster in a cracking voice.

This is about Florida...? Of course it is. Of course it is... You think I want to humiliate you and ruin what sanity you have left by taking advantage of your family in front of you. I would have loved the thrill of it all, had you not been psychologically mutilated by Reuben.

"Why not, Addison?" I cross my arms over my chest, never moving from the kitchen.

With a slight tremble, you raise your head and remain quiet for a few seconds. Come on, make up a good excuse, baby.

"That's my past. I don't want to go there. My life is here."

As I thought.

"I already explained why we would be going there. Do you understand what would happen if Jack came and intervened in our lives? Do you know what sort of person he is?" I give this some thought and realize... maybe you don't know. Oh the things he would do to you. The things we would do to you. He always finds a way to trick me into doing things I didn't plan on, just for his own satisfaction.

"There are other places to go. It doesn't have to be Florida."

I leave my curious thoughts and exhale impatiently. "You know what? Why don't you be an adult and fucking look at me."

You angrily spin around and glower heavily at me. "Don't talk to me like that."

I lean against the counter, looking you up and down and narrowing my eyes shortly after.

"I don't want you near my family. You leave them the hell alone, got it! I know you chose there because of that reason and I'm not going to have it!"

"Baby, I don't give a shit about your family. Right now, it's just you and me. That's all I want. After what we went through, I don't want you out of my reach for one second." I move away from the counter and walk towards you. For once, you don't step back or even flinch. You're standing your ground and your eyes are becoming far more venomous.

I approach you, and it's like a giant monster to a small innocent girl. More and more, I see it in your eyes, you're growing into a sort of fearless soldier right before me. You're beginning to shake only a little, yet trying to hide it.

I don't say anything right away as I give myself a little pause, realizing how things are right now... I should relish this moment. It's rare to see you this way.

You're melting me, kitten.

Before I speak, I inhale slowly, gazing at every detail of your features. 

"I chose Florida, because I visited that state a long time ago and enjoyed the sights, the weather, and the people. It was one of the places out of a select few that I actually enjoyed."

You turn your head while shaking it and raising a hand, "No, Gabriel. I don't want to hear it." You start to walk away but I take your hand and place it against my chest, saying, "Stop." There you go, refusing to look at me again.

I pull you over to one of the couches and sit you down next to me. "I need you to listen to me, and look at me."

It takes a moment, but finally, you do. With disgust.

"Good girl..." I give a small smile, to which of course, annoys you.

"I bet you would doubt me if I said... I have only enjoyed a handful of moments in my life. So many decades of existing, and nothing satisfied me in such a way that I could realize... the joys in what it is to be among others and do things so freely; to smile, to laugh, to feel 'good' inside. The idea disgusted me. People have always disgusted me. What did I know? I only knew what I wanted. Not what I needed. I moved on instinct and lust. You know I still do. For the most part, it's beyond my control. Right now, with you here, it's the most difficult part of my life I've ever experienced... because I feel like while I want to drink away the very thing that keeps you alive, and repeat watching the light drain from your pained, suffering eyes, something else is making me feel like long-lost senses of humanity are trying to flood their way back into me. After losing you and facing my past, I'm finding a different self. I have a strong instinctual desire to fight it, but pieces of me are wanting to welcome it."

As you listen, you're looking into my eyes in an almost conflicted way. You don't want to believe me, but you're also vulnerable right now. I can see you probably believe you're much too vulnerable, because it's all over your face.

I gaze at your lips, "I know what being psychologically trapped is. I do know what that is, kitten." I reach and gently stroke your cheek, "And I know you are trapped, but where, is the worst place. I don't know if you can come back from that, but at least you do have someone who recognizes it. Do you think your family would? I heard you don't."

"Gabriel, you're not a good person. After what you've done? All these years? You're a serial murderer and a serial rapist. You thrive on everything that is death. What is it you want from me, besides what you just explained? What's the point of keeping me around if you just want to exist in a never-ending loop? How long do you think you can stop me from escaping this? I'm not scared of you anymore. I'm not afraid to admit now that you're actually no better than Reuben, but at least as far as I know, Reuben didn't tear me apart or rape me."

HIM?! YOU'RE COMPARING ME TO HIM?! YOU FUCKING BITCH, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

I snatch you by your hair, causing you to yelp and clasp your hands tightly around my wrist, and I yank you close, "I am nothing like him. Never say that again."

"Gabriel, Gabriel stop!" You squeeze harder, trying to break free.

"I give you a piece of my story and this is what you do? Don't prove to me you're like all the others!"

"How am I supposed to know how to be to you?!" You bark.

I shove you back and stand up, readjusting my shirt. "You know exactly what I mean. I want you to be you, Addison. Not like the OTHERS!"

"I'M NOT OVER ONE HUNDRED WHATEVER! I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

With an aggravated groan, I lift my head and turn, sliding my hand down my face and rubbing my chin. Why don't you understand! Why can't you read between the lines? It's not that difficult! Why can't you just try to listen and understand me?!

I face you again and run my hand through my hair. "Ok Addison... I get it. You need time."

"No, I need you to stop being an asshole. I need you to stop being so irrational!"

"You said never-ending loop. You know, that does make sense, so why don't you tell me what you want from me besides what you just said! Why don't I get on my knees while you do it, too! Who do you think I am? Your pet? You want me to bow before you? Now I know why I've been the way I've been for so long!"

You sit quietly in detestation, watching me yell. But then you speak; "You know who's insecure, Gabriel?" You stand up and jab your finger into my chest, "You." You walk off into your bedroom and slam your door.

I turn and look at it. No. Enough running!

I march over to it and break the knob off, shoving it open. You jump by your standalone mirror with a shriek and I point at you, "Addison, I need you in my life. I know I'm toxic, but I want to make this work. I WANT you to be mine! I WANT you to teach me to love! I know I'm a monster; I can't change what happens to me when I thirst for blood. I'm a vampire -- not a man! We are going to Florida, and there we start a new life. There, we will be something. I will try. That's a promise!"

You're staring at me in complete disapproval and shock. You don't know what to say or do -- I can recognize that expression anywhere.

I walk farther in, closer to you, "I'm. Sorry."

Your eyebrows rise a little and you just sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. "You're asking me to change you. That's what this is. And you're calling it love."

"No." I walk up to you and lift your chin, "I want you to kiss me slowly. I want to see you slowly open your eyes next to me in the morning and feel your gentle touch as you stroke my hair. I want you to hold me, gaze into my eyes, and rest your little beautiful body in my arms without a care in the world."

"How can I... if you're an animal?"

"I am an animal, but I will listen to you." I lean down and gently kiss your lips. Your body tenses again toward my touch, itching to flee. Every bit of you wants to resist, but you fight it... for me.

I move back and see you're staring at me with more conflict. You're giving this some consideration, I can see. Momentarily, you purse your lips and rub your shoulders before looking away from me and walk into the bathroom.

I go and sit on the bed, my eyes cast down. I think about everything that just happened; my outburst, the argument, that tender moment. It all happened so quickly and unstably. None of it was fluid. It was like... bipolarism. I'm not bipolar... am I?

I have to make this work. I know there is something wrong with me... What can I do to make 'us' work?

___________________________________
Author's Note:

Hey everyone! This chapter was INSANE! Addison is an unusual one, standing up to him like this. Would you consider her strong, or crazy?

Gabriel is a total mess as well. One moment, he's losing it, and another -- he's a person who needs comfort and care.

Like I said... INSANE!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have some wild things planned for the next one. :) See you soon, and thanks for reading! :D :D :D