"I"m a kitchen sink, you don't know what that means, because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me. Okay friend?"

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Sperm fertilizes an ovum and that changes and grows to a full on fetus. The fetus stays inside of a mother's uterus for approximately nine months, growing and developing. The fetus' organs and limbs all grow in the womb until finally it's ready to escape it's small prison inside of it's mother. After hours of grueling labour and the baby is finally free. This new life is born into a family, with a mom and dad and siblings. Sometimes no siblings and just a mom or just a dad. Sometimes two moms or two dads. Sometimes the baby has only grandparents. Whatever the case may be with this child, it has a family. It will grow up happy and healthy.

That's how it is for normal children.

Dave Strider isn't a normal kid.

Dave Strider doesn't have a mom or a dad. Dave Strider doesn't have grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins. Dave Strider has an older brother.

Dave Strider wasn't the end result of a drunk fun or the end result of a romantic evening. He wasn't an accident or planned. Dave Strider wasn't even born per se. No, this baby was created years in the future, but years in the past as well. Beginning as a glop of weird looking slime, that slime took form of baby Dave. And baby Dave was sent hurtling through paradox space on a horse. Now that's how Dave Strider was created. Dave met his older brother in a sort of peculiar way.

Whilst hurtling a million miles a second through paradox space, along with about seven other children all things other than horses, gates opened. These gates were special. They took all of these children to separate places, and for some, separate points in time. Dave was thrown into a gate which took him to a specific time and place on earth.

And that's when he crashed down onto the ground on his horse.

The horse, obviously, was killed by the impact. But Dave remained perfectly safe. Not a single scratch ruined his perfect pale skin and not a single tantrum was thrown as he was thrown down onto the ground from space. The baby remained quiet and calm and waiting.

Dave Strider didn't have to wait too long though, soon after an adult wearing ridiculously pointed shades appeared. The previously thought meteor caught his attention, but when he saw that it wasn't a meteor but in fact a baby and a dead horse the adult didn't even bat an eye. The adult merely scooped up the still calm child and the dead horse and made his way back to his apartment.

That's how Dave Strider was "born."

Most would say that this story is preposterous, that there's no way that a baby could crash down on earth from millions of miles up above and not get hurt, let alone not throw a single tantrum. But it did happen.

Now that baby that had ridden in on a horse to earth was sporting a heart bib made of the horse's on skin. And now it was wearing pointy shades to match its new caretakers. Through all of this the baby remained quiet and calm, showing absolutely no sign wanting to cry now, or ever for that matter. It remained as stoic as its newfound guardian, which was perfectly fine for him because he wasn't one to deal with crying children.

So this was Dave's life now, living with an adult wearing pointy anime sunglasses for the sake of irony. Some would think that this would be a stroke of luck for the baby. The kid just crashed down to earth on a horse and some adult automatically took him in without pondering if the baby was an alien bent on world domination. Yeah, most people would stop to think about that before adopting babies that just fell from the sky. And most people would say he's lucky to have a family.

Well Dave wasn't lucky. This supposed "family" that Dave had was one of the worst things in the world.

And he hated it.