TIME WAS A TRICKY thing. It passed too fast and too slow at the same time, even when you didn't want it to - especially when you didn't want it to. They say you grow stronger as it passes, like wrinkles are made of iron and your withered skin of steel. Mateo had known heartbreak before, had buried the fragments of himself seven feet under along with his father, but now when he was older, he didn't feel like a better man. No, when he heard the news it had stung just as sharply as before, like a knife in his throat.

Their trip to the hospital was a haze of pain and screams, all the oxygen suddenly seeming to have disappeared. Gabriela was the only thing keeping him grounded, her hand in his, but when they arrived they couldn't even see him. Apparently he had put Jay down as his son in his phone, but seeing as the official papers never had went through, they weren't able to do more than stand there and shatter.

Jay didn't speak a word during it all, not even as Sahar sat down in front of him, holding his hands in hers and crying for his loss. He sat frozen in the hospital chair, Mateo hyperventilating as Gabriela cupped his lips and nose with her palm, her voice slowly instructing him how to breathe. She whispered she was there with him over and over, until the haunting loneliness in his lungs settled in his stomach.

"Should I call your parents?" a worried nurse said, lingering by the door of the waiting room.

Jay was surprisingly the first one to speak up, blank gaze trained on the floor.

"I don't have any parents," he said.

"You hurt me Jae-Soo."

Jay didn't even freeze, eyes instead slowly wandering to the man in the door opening, as if he had expected him to stand there. Ambassador Ryder's smile was as cold as ever, though now it almost even seemed... happy. No, he had to be wrong, there was no way he was looking joyful at a moment like this after all.

"What are you doing here?" Jay said flatly, though it sounded like he already knew the answer.

"I got called," the ambassador said with a shake of his head," a good friend of mine spotted you in the hospital and thought something might be wrong, so he let me know. Of course I dropped everything to come check in on you, I was so worried you got into an accident."

"An accident, huh?" Jay repeated.

"Come on, Jae-Soo," the ambassador said, gesturing at the hallway," let's talk in private so you can fill me in on what's going on."

For once Jay didn't protest, instead standing up, voice laced with venom.

"Let's."

"I'll come with," Mateo said resolutely.

Though he refused to believe it, his intuition was telling him something was very wrong. That coupled with the knowledge that Jay's father was horrible to him certainly didn't make him want to leave his friend alone, even though he still felt emptier than he had in years. He was a hollow shell of a man, just on the verge of exploding.

Jay didn't even protest about his offer, instead merely nodding to Mateo's surprise. Perhaps he was done with it all or perhaps he just didn't want to be alone, but his father didn't seem to mind either way. With a curt nod of his head he offered Mateo his political smile, reeking of corruption and cruelty.

"You are the Martinez kid, are you not?" he said," I know you were close with the man as well. My condolences." When Mateo didn't reply he shrugged. "It's fine, Jae-Soo's best friend is always welcome."

Gabriela didn't say anything, instead squeezing in his hand before she let him go. He couldn't bring himself to squeeze back, even though she was the only thing keeping him from floating away with the wind. With a hazy mind he followed Jay and his father in the hallway, white noise crackling all around him. It was hard to decide whether he wanted to be alone or not, but he did realize he could under no circumstances leave Jay alone with his shitty father again.

Jay's father only spoke once they were out of the hospital and had stepped inside the Lamborghini parked in front. Mateo leaned against the tinted windows, Jay's eyes glazed over as he focused on his father. With two flutes in his hand the man turned towards them, but Jay only shook his head.

"No desire for champagne?" his father said with a disapproving click of his tongue," this isn't how I raised you, Jae-Soo."

"There's no cause for celebration," Jay said curtly.

"Oh, but there is," his father smiled," so take a glass, Jae-Soo."

When Jay didn't immediately react his father snapped, leaving no room for argument as he repeated his sentence. Jay slowly took one of the flutes, though Mateo just stared the man dead in the eye when he tried the same with him. The ambassador seemed to settle for just his son listening, taking a sip as he smirked at them.

"What a tragic loss," he murmured," and at such a young age too. They say his brakes were tampered with, you know."

"You fucking did it, didn't you?" Jay spit out, trembling in anger," I know you did, you asshole."

Without a warning his father slapped Jay in the face, causing his head to slam against the window. Mateo's lips parted, blind fury at it all spilling through him, but he couldn't even say anything, because the man continued, words leaving his lips he had never expected to hear.

"It's what the filth deserves for touching me," ambassador Ryder drawled," thankfully you complied in staying at my house so there would be no connection between my son and the animal. I have a reputation to maintain you know."

"You..." Mateo began, unsure if he heard him right," you killed him?"

"Oh, you are truly innocent," ambassador Ryder taunted, watching him with pity," don't you know, it isn't murder if you're powerful." He stretched out his fingers then, his smile without emotion. "His name will never be heard again after this, that I made sure of. No one will remember the likes of him."

A laugh escaped him, bubbling like the champagne but far less sweet.

"Truly tragic that he had to die right before he could reach the graveyard too," he drawled," I did him a favor, you know. Whomever he wanted to visit, he got there faster now."

That was when Mateo snapped, but before he could even hit the man Jay punched him right in the face. The sickening sound of bone snapping resounded throughout the car. He hit him again and again, until his hands were bloodied and his father's bodyguards pulled him off. A sound resembling a cry and a scream at the same time left Jay's lips as he struggled against the bodyguards and Mateo slammed one down. As soon as he did so two others jumped on top of him, another joining after he punched one in the face.

"You bastard," the ambassador spit out," you are dead -"

"Do it," Jay screamed," kill me, you motherfucker! Do it!"

"You fucking monster!" Mateo snarled, tears threatening to spill from his eyes," I'm going to kill you!" He struggled against the three men that had him pinned on the floor. "Let me go!"

Though it looked like the ambassador was about to order their murder as well, he instead calmly wiped the blood off his face, though his nose still wouldn't stop pouring. People were staring at them as they walked to the hospital entrance, but with a wave of his hand two new bodyguards ushered them away. As soon as they would let him go, Mateo was planning to make it worse, his thoughts screaming in red and black.

"Don't make any accusations you can't prove," the ambassador said with a shake of his head, face calm despite the anger glimmering in his eyes. "And you, Jae-Soo, to do this to your own father -"

"You are not my father!" Jay roared, pulling against the two men who were holding him back," he was! That man you murdered was!" The hatred seemed to seep out then, turning into a haunting grief as Jay breathed out, a sob racking through his body. "He was."

Mateo couldn't help but cry, despite his fury, despite the unfairness of it all. The last words he had ever heard him speak resounded through his head in an echo of regret. I'll see you soon. He would never see him again.

"Do you want me to disown you?" the ambassador sneered, raising an eyebrow," I'm getting very close, Jae-Soo."

"You don't have to," Jay said quietly, voice laced with hatred and grief," you know how you always say I should have died with my mother? Well, both my parents died with her that day."

His breath was shaky when he steadied himself, blinking away the tears. "And he won't be forgotten, I promise you that. Until the end of my life he won't be."

"And how are you planning on doing that, Jae-Soo?" the ambassador chuckled.

"It is Bas Clarkson now," Jay replied calmly.

His father let out a disbelieving laugh, before it died in his throat when he saw Jay was serious. Mateo kicked one of the guys off him then, elbowing the other in the face, but the third slammed him down on the concrete again. Stars danced in front of his eyes, but he didn't make a wish as they all fell down. God wasn't real, that he was sure of now.

"Ambassador? What the hell are you doing?"

Sahar's voice was like a whiplash and the ambassador's eyes widened momentarily. He quickly composed himself after, but though Sahar stared in shock at the whole scenario from the door opening, Gabriela ducked right underneath the bodyguard blocking their way. She ran towards Mateo, punching one of the bodyguards holding him without hesitation, before slamming his face against her knee.

As Mateo pushed the second off him and turned around to kick the third, she whirled around and let her foot hook itself around one of Jay's captors. He hit the floor and Jay slammed the other one down. Sahar tried to jump in as well, but she was easily intercepted, one of the men holding her up by her waist. The ambassador gave the whole scenario one look and shook his head, deciding it was too much. He didn't even glance towards his son as he closed his door and without taking his bodyguards along the car drove off.

When they all left until it was the four of them, that was the moment Mateo felt the piercing grief settle in him like knives in his body.

He cried.