MATEO HAD LOST WHERE they were ages ago. Now he was just staring mindlessly in front of him as Chase scribbled a drawing of Sahar on the side of his notes. At least, he presumed it to be Sahar, with how much Chase had been talking about her these days. With how terribly it was drawn it could as well have been a tree.

Before he could zone out completely though Gabriela walked in the classroom, the new kids on her heels. She talked with the teacher for a bit, before he gestured for them all to sit down. When she passed him she offered a smile and that familiar feeling he always had after a good fight coursed throughout his whole body, the way it always did when he saw her.

"She smells like flowers, dude," Chase said dreamily after Sahar had walked by.

"Were you smelling her?" Mateo frowned.

"Not in a weird way!" Chase protested," I can't control my nose."

"Uh-huh," Mateo grinned," it's your nose you can't control."

Chase murmured something under his breath, likely an insult, before glancing back nervously at where Sahar was sitting.

"Hey," he said to Mateo," what do you and Gabriela talk about?"

"What?" Mateo said.

"I want to start a conversation," he said as he shifted in his seat," but I have no idea what about. The best thing I can come up with is the weather - you got to help me out here, man."

What did he and Gabriela talk about? Mateo honestly had no clue. Their conversations always flowed easily, even if most of the time they were talking about nothing, really. It was either a four hour convo about the oppressive nature of the patriarchy on women or people of color in positions of power or about marshmallows. There was no in between.

"Just talk about something you're interested in," he said.

"I can't talk about her," Chase frowned.

"Don't you have hobbies, man?"

"Not anymore," he said as he glanced back at Sahar, his gaze dreamy.

Mateo rolled his eyes, before they widened.

"Wait," he said," there's the party Friday. You can talk to her about that, invite her to be your date even."

"That was a surprisingly good idea coming from you," Chase blinked.

Mateo narrowed his eyes at him.

St Joseph's Institute for Troubled Children was unlike every other school, even in their parties. Where usually the biggest party of the year took place in some rich kid's mansion, at St Joseph it took place at the school itself. Each first Friday of October someone stole the spare key from the principal and opened the school's doors at ten for all the students. Music was fixed quickly with a playlist which was put on open a week before so people could add songs and everyone brought their own booze and games.

It was fun, reckless and exhilarating. The best part of it? They never had gotten caught. Until daybreak they danced, before all of the delinquents teamed up for once to clean everything up before eight. The spare key was then put back where it belonged and no one spoke of it again until the next year.

"Are you doing it again this year?" Chase said," if you don't want to, I can -"

"No need, Chase," Mateo grinned," you know no one would do a better job than me anyway. The old man loves me."

"You and our principal have a strange friendship," Chase said," sometimes I almost feel like you'll replace me."

The principal did like him for some reason. It was the reason why Mateo had been able to steal the key for three years consecutively and he wasn't planning on ending that streak now. The idea for the party had jumped into his head when he had caught a glimpse of the spare key and now here they were, three years later, and it had been his most succesful idea yet.

But this party would be a special one. He glanced back at where Gabriela was seated, her dark hair spilling from her messy bun. She was focused on the teacher in front, her pen tapping against her full lips as she listened. He just wanted to put those lips against his, but he couldn't, not without breaking their friendship.

Shit.

Ever since they were twelve and she had tended to his wounds the first time, her hands gentle, he had known she was the love of his life. He just wasn't hers. It had been quite obvious that he was crushing on her, to her and everyone else, it had to have been. After all, he didn't hide his flirtations, didn't date with any other girls. He had told her he liked her multiple times and each time she just smiled and said she liked him too, but never in the way he wanted.

If that wasn't a rejection, he didn't know what was. Hell, he called her baby girl in the most intimate way he could. In the language they shared together, the endearment almost sounded like a secret for the two of them. Perhaps some foolish part of him expected her to grow to like him over the years, like he had with her, but that only seemed to be the case for him.

All he was doing was setting his heart up to be broken.

His mother had once told him that perhaps it would be better for him to give up and move on. She could have been right, but not just yet. It was the start of a new school year now, maybe even the year she would finally become his as he had always been hers.

He looked back at her again, his heart skipping a beat when they locked eyes. She mouthed at him that he should focus and he flashed her a grin, before dramatically turning his attention back to the teacher again.

When school was out he waited in front on his motorcycle, chatting with some friends in the meantime. Gabriela always stayed behind on Thursdays to tutor some students, so he often just hung out with his friends in front of the gate until she was done. He was just telling his plan to steal the key when he noticed Jay and he stopped mid-way to call out to him.

"Hey! Come here!"

Jay looked up at him and then kept on walking.

"I know you saw me, Jay!"

When Jay didn't reply he kept on shouting, until the new kid finally sighed and gave in.

"What do you want?" Jay snapped when he reached them.

"To invite you to the best party of the year," Mateo grinned.

Jay raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'm interested in a party?"

"Oh come on, man," Mateo said," this isn't like those boring events you have to attend at Athena or at home. You may think St Joseph is below Athena or something, but this party is certainly better than everything Athena has combined."

Jay stayed silent for a moment, before parting his lips.

"I don't," he said.

"You don't what?" Mateo said.

"I don't think St Joseph is below Athena," he said," I think everything is as low as it can be. Expectations are for those who want to be disappointed."

"Whoa," one of his friends laughed," you're being deep here, new kid."

"At least he admitted Athena isn't worth shit," another said.

Mateo got off his motorcycle and when he reached Jay, he paused. For some reason Jay seemed like nothing interested him here and nothing ever would. At first Mateo had thought it to be because he was looking down on St Joseph, the grey buildings which must pale in comparison to whatever he was used to. But if not that, then what?

Gabriela always had told him he could never let go once he set his mind on something. In a way she was right, because though he didn't really have a reason, he still wanted to become friends with the new kid.

In another way, she was not, because after all these years of being in love with her, he still had not kissed her.

"This won't disappoint," he grinned," I promise. So I expect you here this Friday, Jay."

"And why would I?" Jay said.

Mateo tilted his head to the right. "What do you have to lose?"

Jay hesitated then, so Mateo continued on, knowing for sure he would go after hearing this.

"Sahar is coming too," he said," though she apparently had said she wouldn't unless you were invited too."

It was true. Chase had gathered all his courage and asked the girl to come after school, but she had just smiled and replied that. His friend had practically begged him to make Jay come, but he hadn't needed to.

"So that's why you want me to come?" Jay said.

Mateo shook his head, but didn't break eye contact when he spoke.

"You know that's not why," he said," but it's why you would want to come, so I said it."

Jay stayed quiet for a moment, before nodding.

"Fine," he said," I'll be there."

"Nice," Mateo grinned, slapping him amicably on his shoulder," don't forget to bring your own booze."

Jay grabbed a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket then and lit it. The movement revealed a red blister on the back of his hand, along with countless silver scars, and Mateo wondered if perhaps Jay was clumsy. The idea didn't suit the guy at all.

"I will," Jay said as he blew out the smoke, before uncharacteristically offering him a cigarette too with a gesture of his hand.

"Nah, thank you," Mateo smiled," Gabriela made me quit and she'll kill me if she knows I started again."

"You like her," Jay stated.

Mateo looked at the school then, Gabriela appearing out of it with a stack of books in her hand and a lot of words on her mind, and he smiled.

"Yeah," he said," I do."