I furrowed my brow at my pendant when I discovered it still murky. It was odd not to have a candidate surface in the period that had passed since the last one. As I sat and contemplated, fidgeting, my phone dinged.

~

Lazarus: You've been quiet. Everything Okay?

Me: The mirror has been cloudy. I don't know what's going on.

Lazarus: We haven't found any more candidates either.

Me: I'm sure it will show us one soon.

~

I was wrong. Not only did the mirror stay unresponsive through the late evening and into the night, it remained so for days. I checked its function many times by peeking in on Deirdre, Laz, and even Deirdre's cat, George. It worked perfectly every time. On the fifth day, I found myself at the railing of my terrace.

What if that's it? What if there aren't anymore? What if... I hugged myself as I stood under the gray clouds staring out over the city. The sliding glass door opened behind me, and I soon felt the head-butt of an affectionate cat on my leg. My Fallen Angels came to me too.

Lucifer joined me at the rail, leaning on it with his back to the cityscape so he could look at me. "Azza and I are worried, love."

I glanced at him. Everything I was trying not to feel, all the worry and anxiety, threatened to blossom into sobs. I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes dry. "I am, too."

"Can we do anything for you?" Azza asked, slipping his arms around me from behind.

I closed my eyes and leaned back into his embrace. The dam I'd been working to maintain burst, and the tears ran freely as my body shook.

Lucifer slid in front of me, and the two of them held me as I cried.

"What am I going to do? Deirdre..." My stomach rolled at the thought of Death offering her his job. A wave of nausea hit me as I contemplated her saying yes.

Lucifer kissed the top of my head. "It will be okay, Olivia."

Rage coursed through me. "Okay? How in the Hell do you know that, Lucifer? Huh?" I yanked myself from them to pace. "What if it's not okay? What can you do about it? Nothing!" I threw my hands up and raved. "There's nothing anyone can do—or will do—to help!"

My chest tightened, and my vision tunneled. I stumbled and nearly fell, but Azza caught me. I panted, trying to catch my breath.

"Olivia! You are having a panic attack." Lucifer leaned into my line of sight, but I couldn't focus on him. "Can you hear me?"

I could but didn't have the wherewithal to signal to him. My knees buckled, but Azza sat me in a chair Lucifer snapped over for me.

"Olivia!" Lucifer patted my face forcefully. "Look at me."

With effort, I turned to stare into his electric blue eyes. They were full of worry. I wanted to reassure him, but I had none to give.

"Olivia, I need you to concentrate on what is around you. What do you hear?"

I focused everything I had on listening. "I hear... you... and the traffic... and the birds..." I whispered.

"Good! What else?"

Azza leaned in. "I love you. Can you hear that?"

I nodded, though I had no reply for him. I closed my eyes to concentrate on my breathing.

"Yes, breathe, love. Deep breaths."

Between the two of them, they helped me focus and bring myself back to some semblance of normal. When it was all over, I was exhausted. Azza scooped me up and took me to bed where the two of them wrapped me in their arms.

"Deirdre..." I struggled to sit up.

Lucifer pulled me back down. "She is with Mrs. Hamilton, love. Uzza is with them."

I nodded and gave in to his gentle insistence that I lay with them. I shifted and put my back to Azza so I could look at Lucifer. "I'm so tired, love. I'm tired of the worry and anxiety. I'm tired of the frustration." I took a breath and whispered, "I'm tired of hating Laz."

"Let us love you, Olivia." Azza's power began to trickly into me gently as he ran his hand down my arm.

I sighed and smiled weakly. "I miss you two. I haven't spent a lot of time with you lately, have I?"

Lucifer moved a curl. "No, love, you have not. We understand, though. The work you are doing is essential. We want to help fulfill you. What will make you happy?"

I closed my eyes against the sudden tears. I whipped them away. "I—I don't know. I want... to be loved. I'm not sure what that means."

Azza continued to caress me. He didn't add any more power to me, just held what he had given steady. "Olivia? Right now, do you want Lucifer, me, or Laz with you?"

I contemplated the question. "I don't know." I hated repeating myself, but I spoke the truth.

Rain began to patter against the window. I found it matched my mood; the day was melancholy, and so was I. More tears escaped, and Lucifer ran a finger down my cheek.

Lucifer's sky blue eyes searched my own. "Will you go to Death if we help? I think you need someone to talk to, and he is the safest of all of us. We cannot interfere. We cannot even offer advice."

Azza kissed my head and wrapped an arm around me. "I know you feel as if you're ignoring us, but we don't feel that way. It's okay if you say yes, Olivia."

My body shook. I wanted to say yes, so much. But, Azza was right; I felt as if I were neglecting the loves I already had. They had a point, though. I needed someone to talk to, and so I gave in. "Yes."

Lucifer's smile was sweet and loving. He kissed me gently and fished the phone out of his pocket. He texted for a few moments as I closed my eyes, still enjoying Azza's soothing touch. No sooner than he'd stopped texting, Laz's portal opened at the foot of the bed.

Laz's voice was deep and soothing. "Olivia?"

I sat up. His portal was from what I assumed was his office at the aquarium. He wore the suit I'd first seen him in. My heart fluttered, and I swallowed. Azza's power faded, but the longing in me rose. I truly wanted Death.

"Do you want to come with me, sweetheart?"

I crawled out of bed toward him. I stood a few feet from him, gazing into his eyes. I felt no compulsion on me, and I realized I wanted him for more than just sex; I'd grown used to having him in my life and wanted that to continue.

"Yes, Laz. Yes, I do. I—I need you." It was a difficult admission, but it was important to say.

He held out a hand to me. I took it, and he led me through into his office. He gathered me into his arms for a lingering kiss. I was breathless when he finished.

"I'm goin' to take you to the loft, hon," he murmured, trailing the back of his hand down my jawline, "but then I need to come back and make an exit. I'll be with you in about an hour if traffic is decent."

I nodded. "Okay."

He waved another portal and helped me step through. "Make yourself at home. I have the place wired with Alexa, and she runs the show. She'll help." He grinned. "There are more brownies on the counter, too."

I chuckled. "Well, then, take your time."

He kissed my fingers and released me. The portal closed, and I was alone.

The sunlight streamed through the wall of windows, bathing the loft in warmth, a stark contrast to the gloomy weather I'd left behind. I stood in the middle of the floor for several heartbeats, not knowing what to do with myself.

I realized with a start that this was the first time I had nothing to do for weeks. I'd been so busy trying to find candidates, I hadn't taken any moments for myself. I turned in a circle, taking in my options. I could watch TV on the enormous, wall-mounted panel TV, pick a book from the extensive bookshelf, choose one of three gaming systems, grab a snack from the kitchen, or...

I eyed the inviting pool of sunshine on the bed. I was exhausted, and, frankly, I didn't want to do any of the things I'd picked out as possible ways to pass the time. A nap sounded like an excellent way to utilize an hour's worth of my day.

I grabbed a pillow and tossed it down near the foot of the bed so I'd be in the sun. I stretched out and snuggled into the pillow, smiling at how much it smelled like Laz. It was a pleasant scent, not overwhelming or perfumed, just musky and masculine. With my head cradled and my back warm, I closed my eyes and allowed the world to fade away.

Olivia...

I popped my eyes open at the sound of my name. I turned toward the windows at my back. There, nearly within arm's reach, was the figure. I was too frightened to move, frozen in place, trembling.

Olivia...

I watched as it reached for me, opening a skeletal hand to beckon me. And, Hell help me, the desire to take its hand was overwhelming. I looked into the hood and saw the glowing red eyes. Caught, I stared, fascinated by their light.

Come...

I rolled over toward it and pushed myself up. I had no choice; I had to go. It had put a compulsion on me; there was nothing I could do. I reached for the hand.

The loft door opened, and Laz stepped inside, finally home.

"Olivia!" he shouted. "No!"

It was too late. I touched the hard bone of the hand. As soon as I did, it grasped me in a firm grip and tugged. My vision tunneled and, before Laz or I could do anything, I was falling into darkness.