I sprawled across my bed, smiling like a lovesick puppy. I've seen that look on others before: distant gaze, rosy cheeks, permanent creepy smile plastered across their faces: but never on me. It's the look I mocked whilst pulling a face of disdain. I wasn't like them, guided by hormones, or worse, feelings. Whilst my friends pined after boys and gossiped over late night kisses- I sneered, uninterested by it all. I was on to bigger and better things. I had a plan, a life ahead. One that didn't involve- distractions.

And yet, when I was lying there, reliving the moment our hands grazed against each other's, I couldn't help but smile. It felt like sinking into a warm hot bath. Inviting, relaxing, right. But at the same time it wasn't inviting, it was more, how can I put it- terrifying. Rejection, betrayal, exposure. They stood like old friends, lurking and waiting to see me. Ready to pounce at any moment.

The phone buzzed and woke me from my thoughts. Is it her? My heart was thumping like a caged butterfly ready for flight. Could it be her?

My stomach sank at the name: Susie. I rolled my eyes before reading the text.

'Hey girl! So me, you, Luke and Joe are all going out tomorrow night. You can thank me later.'

I groaned outwardly and threw myself face first into my pillow. Great- another set up. With Joe of all people.

'Can't do tomorrow- homework.'

I pinged a text back, not even bothering to come up with a good excuse, or even make it sound like I was disappointed. I was slacking at keeping up appearances, seriously.

'Come on Liss! It's all sorted. Joe is soooooo excited <3 <3'

I exhaled sharply and rolled back onto my back, throwing the phone away from me. My childhood glow in the dark star stickers stared back down at me. Dad put them up when I was little. I was terrified of the dark, so he put the stars up. He told me there would always be a little bit of stardust to guide me. What should I do? Stars- what should I do?

The phone buzzed rudely again. Seriously Susie, give it a rest. But it wasn't Susie. A smile stretched across my face as I read her name. She text me first, she text me first. I could have squealed out loud I was so happy. I rolled back towards the pillow and screeched into it, whilst shaking my legs manically. What had I become?

'Hey beautiful. Same time tomorrow? X'

Yes, yes, yes, God yes! I didn't even have time to melt into my bed then, I was so excited at the thought of seeing her again. I leapt forward, armed and ready to shoot my reply back. But then, I stopped, Susie. What would I tell Susie?

I swallowed and sighed deeply as I sent my reply back.

'I want to. Really I do. But Susie's set me up with Joe- joy.'

Within seconds her reply came back.

'Susie the kill joy or what!'

I barely had time to laugh before the next text came through.

'Need a third wheel? I'm told I'm an excellent buffer. ;)'

Without even thinking about the consequences I responded.

'Yes! Come!'

Did I later consider how it would look? Did I realise it could ruin my reputation? The reputation that took me years to build up. That people could find out what a fraud I was? Yes.

'It's a date then beautiful.'

Was I excited beyond belief? Absolutely.