Un-decorating.

What a joy, isn't it?

Stark told us this morning that we'd be taking down the Christmas decor that we'd just spent hours perfecting so that there'd be more room for the New Years stuff. Apparently there was to be a party or something on New Years Eve.

Steve and I, working together yet again (what a dynamic duo, really), were on bathroom duty. You know, taking down the Christmas stuff in every single bathroom in Stark Tower, cleaning the room in its entirety, then putting up the New Years stuff. Boring (and gross), I know.

We were given about five boxes full of new stuff and about five empty ones for the old stuff. This ought to be interesting.

We'd started in the common bathrooms on every floor and, later, moved on to the privacy bathrooms attached to everyone's bedroom and to the few left over guest rooms.

We found ourselves in one of the last few bathrooms in the guest rooms, one of the ones that some of Tony's New Years Eve guests would be staying in until New Years Day.

"You alright?" Steve turned to me and asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I replied coolly.

"I don't know. I just- I'm still pretty shaken up about last night, so I can't imagine how you feel right now."

"Eh, I guess it's fine," I said. "It's no big deal, it's not like it's something I haven't dealt with in the past."

"It shouldn't be something you have to 'deal with', though, Buck. Tony's reaction was completely unnecessary and I really hope you see that," Steve pointed out, walking over to where I was.

"I know, I- I see it. Don't you worry a damn minute about me, Rogers," I demanded.

"Well why the Hell not? I mean, seriously. What, in God's name, were you even doing in the kitchen at 3:40 in the morning?" he questioned.

"I might've had a teeny tiny nightmare," I fibbed.

"James Buchanan Barnes, how dare you neglect to tell me this?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't like to worry you about that kinda stuff," I conceded.

"Why not? You know I'm here for you until the bitter end an-"

"Because, Steve, I don't want you to see me like that. All dark and alone and helpless like I can't do anything on my own anymore. I want you to remember me like I was, and it'd hard enough for me, myself, to do that. It's hard to remember the people we used to be."

"Baby," he stood closer to me, taking my face in his hands. "You mean so much to me, don't you see? None of that superficial stuff matters. I understand what you've lived through and I know that you have to have been so incredibly brave and strong to have made it through all of what you've told me. Hell, you're stronger than the person you used to be. I might still be just a kid from Brooklyn, but you? You're more than that... at least to me you are."

"You think?"

"I know," he replied, without a shadow of a doubt. I saw him smile at me in that moment, too. His lips moved closer to mine and, before I could even say anything, he'd kissed me. It was light as air and God, it felt almost too perfect to be real. "I know," he repeated as he pulled away.

He walked back over to the decorations bin and started pulling out more stuff to place around the bathroom without truly knowing how much he'd touched me deeper inside myself than I ever thought humanly possible.

Even now, even after all this time, I need him to stay by me. I need him there to console me when I think the world is ending. I need him there to talk me down from nightmares and to help me stop crying when I feel like I, really, couldn't get any lower. The truth is, without him, I would feel so unimaginably alone that nothing would even matter to me anymore.

~ James_BuchananBarnes ~