The wind whipped Tyler's short hair into his face and to all sides, leaving it a mess. The cold had turned his shaking fingers so white they almost looked blue where they gripped onto the orange-painted metal behind him. Tears streaked his face, leaving his eyes red and his already cold face soaked and frozen. Not that any of that mattered though. It wasn't like anyone would notice any of these small details of a boy standing on the edge of a deserted bridge at 2:00am in the middle of nowhere. No, none of those things mattered when you were about to die.

He looked down thirty feet or so to the raging water below him, with visible pointed rocks sticking out from the waves, and suppressed a shudder. What must it feel like before the sweet peace of death overcame you after falling on those rocks in the angry river? Probably painful. But also probably worth it. Nothing could be worse than the pain awaiting him should he walk away from this place.

"Hey, whore!" the voice called from the living room. "Get your fat ass in here!"

Tyler scrambled to his feet from where he had been laying on his bed. He had only laid down a half hour or so ago, and was unbelievably tired, but that didn't matter anymore. If he didn't get up now, the only thing waiting for him when he woke up would be pain and regret.

After walking as slowly as possible down the hallway to the living room, trying to delay his arrival as much as he could, Tyler peeked his head in and timidly asked the man on the couch in front of him why he had been summoned.

"Can I not just want to see my wonderful boyfriend?" he asked, demeanour completely changed. Behind the mask of sweetness the man had put on though, Tyler could still detect a trace of his usual anger and bitterness. He considered saying he was tired, and would like to just sleep right now, but didn't want to ruin the seemingly good mood his boyfriend Terry was in, and so just continued to stand there in the entrance.

"Well come one, aren't you going to come over?" he asked the timid boy, arms outstretched.

"Y-yeah," Tyler said, legs moving him over to the couch before his brain had processed the command. He proceeded to sit down next to his boyfriend, who quickly wrapped his arms around him and started kissing him.

As it started becoming more intense, Tyler gasped out, "T-Terry, could we please not do this right now? It's just, I-I'm pretty tired, and I'd really r-r-rather not..." He trailed off when he saw the glare the other man was giving him.

"Don't you want to make me happy though? To make me feel good?"

No no no, no I don't, Tyler's mind screamed at him. I'd really rather just leave. Leave, and preferably never come back.

What he really ended up doing though was just sighing and nodding, causing Terry to shoot him a clearly fake smile and continue what he had been doing, while Tyler just laid there underneath him, helpless to do anything.

Well, he supposed, now he had left, as long as everything went well, he wouldn't be returning. Never again. He'd never spend another day locked terrified in his room, or left bruised and shaking on the floor, or sitting alone tying and untying a noose over and over, not sure whether or not he really wanted to use it. Looking at what was currently below him, the noose seemed like a nice option at the moment. Tyler didn't have any rope though, and couldn't go back to get some. Besides, then he might chicken out. No, this would have to suffice.

By now, Tyler could barely see due to the amount of water in his eyes. Whether that was from the cold or him crying, even he wasn't sure. It made the water look much more inviting though. Even if the rocks were there, they had been almost completely masked. Besides, the pain would end soon of he jumped. If he went back, he was sure it never would.

Another kick was landed to Tyler's stomach, and he tried not to cry out as the preexisting bruises around the area burned with pain. He curled further into a ball, feeling the hard kitchen tiles against his already hurting head and groaning. He turned his head to try and roll onto the rug in front of the sink, but only managed to flip himself into a small pool of his own blood, the metallic odour making him nearly throw up.

"Weak fucking whore," a voice came from above him as another kick was aimed at him, this time hitting the side of his head. The effect of this was a firework show of black spots and bright flashes crossing Tyler's already blurred vision. Before he could recover, he was hit once again, this time causing him to finally loose consciousness.

One hand was now at his side. That meant he was now only one away from falling down and ending everything. All his pain, all his suffering, and it came down to simply letting go of a railing. It seemed like such a tiny action for such a huge, tragic result. He looked back at it, willing his fingers to move from where they wrapped around the metal, but nothing happened. Soon. He was sure he'd move them soon. He just needed a few more minutes. Why? What for? Tyler didn't know. But he couldn't let go yet. Very soon though.

"If this is the best you can do, you may as well just kill yourself!"

"You're worthless!"

"You're lucky I put up with your shit."

"No one really loves you."

"Just die already!"

He'd had enough. Nine times. Nine times this week Terry had told him to end his life, that he was better off dead, that killing himself was the best option. Finally, he was going to take his boyfriend's advice.

The other man was asleep already, it being nearly 1:00am, so it wasn't hard for Tyler to quietly slip on his shoes and sneak out the front door without a sound. No one noticed him as he carefully made his way down the stairs of the house and out into the freezing night air. He took a deep breath and looked around the dark street, hopefully for the last time, before walking across the road and into the woods. He was much less likely to be caught if he took a shortcut through the dense trees to the bridge.

He arrived within ten minutes and stepped out onto the platform. After taking a quick look around to make sure no one was around, although he was sure no one would be, Tyler swung one leg up onto the orange barricade keeping him from the edge of the bridge. It didn't take him too long to climb over it, and still no one had seen him. He stood there for a few moments, looking down at the water. He'd jump soon. Very soon. He'd finally put and end to his suffering, but in just a few minutes.

Finally, Tyler willed his fingers away from where they gripped the freezing bars. And then there was nothing. Absolutely nothing holding him back from the swirling black waves. He could only describe the feeling as... free. Finally, he felt free.

He relished in that wonderful feeling of freedom for a few moments before suddenly realizing he still hadn't fallen in. The wind seemed to be pushing him back the other way, towards the safety of the bridge. He'd have to jump himself. He'd been hoping he wouldn't have to, but if he had to, Tyler decided, he would. The idea of throwing himself down into that angry river, filled with those horrible rocks, seemed much less appealing than just falling in, but Tyler was sure he could.

He leaned forward just a tiny bit and put his arms out so he wouldn't catch himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to witness what he was about to do to himself, when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind.

His eyes flew open and he grabbed at the arms now firmly gripping his around the waist, preventing him from jumping. "No, please let go," he begged, tears falling faster than before now.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that to you," came the voice of the person behind him.

"Please, please let me go, I'm begging you. Please just let go and let me jump," Tyler cried. The arms were now beginning to pull him back over the barrier, making him lash out and flail around, trying anything he could to escape and get back to his freedom.

"Please calm down," said the voice. "Look, just let me get you down and we'll talk about this. Jumping isn't the answer, trust me. Please."

Tyler fought for a couple more seconds before realizing it was futile and giving up, allowing himself to go limp in the person's grip. There was no chance of escaping; their hold was too strong, and the person seemed very determined to save him. But Tyler was also certainly not going up help out in any way in the effort to get himself back on the bridge.

He was soon sat against the side of the barrier of the bridge, on the safe side this time, curled up as small as he could make himself and wishing he hadn't waited to long to let go of that stupid metal bar.

"Are you alright?" asked the person above him concernedly, leaning down and resting a hand on Tyler's shoulder.

"Obviously not!" Tyler lashed out at him suddenly. "I was just about to jump, and you had to come along and stop me! I was so close. So close! You ruined everything!" He glared up at the figure above him, throat burning with sobs he refused to let out and eyes running like a broken faucet, but still trying to look as angry as possible.

Whoever it was that stood in front of him didn't say anything for a few minutes. They just stayed there, looking at each other, Tyler still unsure of who he was staring at. Finally, the person said, so quietly that Tyler almost thought he was hearing things, "Tyler? Is that you?"

Tyler cocked his head to one side in confusion. How did this person know him? It had been almost a year since he'd had much social interaction with anyone other than Terry, and before that the only person had been...

"Josh?"

Through his tears, Tyler could just barely make out the person nodding. He rapidly wiped his eyes to get a better look, and when he realized it was in fact Josh who had just saved him, scrambled to his feet and wrapped the older boy in a shaky hug. The embrace was quickly returned, and Tyler relished in the feeling of Josh's arms wrapped around him again.

Once they had let go of each other, Tyler suddenly realized that he still didn't know why Josh had come here. It wasn't as though people normally made a trip down to a quiet bridge at 2:00am just for the sake of it.

As though Josh could read his mind, he started to explain, "I'm not here because of what you probably think. A year ago though, when you left, I was in the exact same place that you just were. Some totally random guy stopped me though- talked me out of jumping. I'm still thankful he did. So anyway, after that, I got an apartment just there," he pointed to a tall building just past a small pond and a few trees behind them, which Tyler hadn't noticed. "I have a window facing the bridge, and there's just enough light to see people down there, so I check every now and again just to make sure no one's out there. Thank god I woke up in time of see you."

Tyler just nodded. It made sense, he supposed, although to hear that he had nearly caused Josh's own suicide made him feel sick. Josh seemed to notice this, and quickly said, "oh, I'm sorry, we really shouldn't just be standing out on this bridge. I'll take you back to my apartment, we can talk in the morning."

He nodded and Josh lifted him off the ground with ease, so he wouldn't have to walk. Tyler rested his head against his friend's shoulder as they started walking, and was nearly asleep when he felt Josh place a light kiss to his forehead, probably assuming he was sleeping, and whisper, "it'll get better Ty. I promise you, it will."

"I sure hope so Josh," he whispered, before finally, he fell asleep. Just as he had wanted.

A/N Like I said before, I'm very sorry for 1) how long this chapter took and 2) the lack of fluff. I promise it gets happier next chapter. Also I know my writing kind of went downhill at the end of this chapter, and I'm really sorry about that, but I'm sick at the moment and just haven't felt very motivated lately. I felt bad for not updating though, so I hope you like the chapter despite everything :)