"Don't do it. S-Si Kath..."

I could sense only one thing in her voice—guilt. And then it hit me, that feeling when you wake up abruptly from a beautiful dream. Damn! I stopped kissing her neck and gazed into her drowsy eyes.

"Lance... this is w-wrong," she whispered under her breath.

Of course, iisipin niyang mali ang lahat ng nangyari sa amin ngayong gabi. She'd blame herself and the alcohol.

A chill swept over me, like diving straight into a pool of ice. I knew exactly what was going on in her mind. I wanted to tell her the truth about me and Kath... about us... but it wasn't the right time yet.

I propped myself up on my elbows and rolled over to her side. Inabot ko ang kumot sa may ulohan ko. With my eyes closed, I draped it over her and sat on the edge of the bed, facing the stark white wall of the hotel room.

I inhaled deeply, clearing my throat. "I'm... I'm sorry, Maggie. I shouldn't have—"

Napahinto ako sa pagsasalita nang marinig ko ang mahina niyang paghilik. Mahina rin akong natawa.

"Tinulugan na ako..."

I sighed and quickly grabbed my boxer briefs from the floor, pulling them on before sitting down beside her.

Strands of her long, wavy, black-dyed hair framed her face, pero deep brown ang totoong kulay ng buhok niya. It pained me to think that she had to hide her natural color just to be Gail.

I couldn't resist the urge to caress her flushed cheeks. "Matulog ka lang, mahal ko," I whispered, gently tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear.

My lips curved into a tender smile as I continued to stroke her cheeks. "I promise, when you wake up, everything will be better. I'll make it right for you and our—"

"Z-Zoe... pauwi na si Mama," she mumbled, her eyes still tightly shut.

"Still sleep talking, huh?" I chuckled softly, pressing my lips to her forehead.

Baka nga nag-aalala na si Zoe sa kaniya. I should get her home.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table and dialed Angelito's number.

"Yes, Attorney? Magandang gabi po!" bati niya sa kabilang linya.

"Have you found him?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"Of course, Attorney!" he replied proudly. "Nasa Cebu po siya, Attorney. Sa Busay, Cebu."

"Finally!" I exclaimed, unable to hide the joy in my voice. "Thank you, Angelito! Maaasahan ka talaga."

I ended the call, and my phone's wallpaper lit up. It was a picture of Zoe... my daughter, Cordelia Zoe. Her eyes were blue and round, just like mine, while her wavy hair was deep brown, inherited from her mother. The shape of her lips mirrored my own, but her smile was sweet and radiant—much like her mother's.

"Hi, I-I'm Lance. I'm your father... your Papa," I said quietly, staring at my phone's wallpaper. My voice trembled. Ganito rin kaya ako ka-kabado kapag totoong si Zoe na ang kaharap ko?

I'd been rehearsing that moment in my head ever since that rainy afternoon... ever since I learned of her existence.

***

"Ayos ka lang, Attorney?"

The relentless ticking of the wall clock echoed in the kitchen, syncing with the frantic beat of my heart. Naririnig ko ang boses ni Angelito. Naririnig ko rin ang ulan sa labas. My own thoughts, however, were the loudest... a chorus of self-condemnation.

You left her while she's pregnant with your child! Shame on you! Fuck you, Lance!

"Uy, Attorney Lance? Humihinga ka pa po ba?"

I jolted at the heavy thud of Angelito's hand on my shoulder. He waved his palm in front of my face.

What the fu—

Is he seriously checking if I'm still breathing?

"Uminom ka po muna ng tubig, Attorney," he suggested, reaching for the glass sitting on my kitchen island. But I barely noticed his gesture. My eyes were glued to the photo he placed in front of me.

This child is my daughter? She's so beautiful, just like her mother.

"H-How o-old is she?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper as I struggled to process the reality before me.

"Six po," mabilis na sagot ni Angelito. "Kamukhang-kamukha mo 'di ba? Tingnan mo 'yong mga mata niya... parang girl version mo, Attorney!" He grinned, his happiness contrasting sharply with the turmoil inside me.

I should be happy too, but the weight of self-loathing pressed heavily on my chest.

"And her name?" I continued, still entranced by the picture of my daughter.

"Cordelia Zoe Ortiz," he said, settling back onto the barstool behind him.

"Ortiz?"

"Yes, Attorney. Mukhang pinanindigan na talaga ni Senyorita Maggie 'yong pagiging Ortiz niya."

I squeezed my eyes shut. This is going to be harder than I thought. Ginamit niya rin ang pekeng apelyido niya kay Zoe.

I finally took the glass and sipped the water, the coolness helped me regain my composure.

"M-May anak kami ni Maggie, Angelito..." Mapait akong napangiti. "She's already pregnant when I—" I paused as the image of Maggie's pleading face flooded my mind—on her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks, begging me to believe her.

Fuck! I hate myself!

Rage took over me. I clenched my fist and punched the white quartz countertop.

"Attorney! Kalma ka lang!" awat sa akin ni Angelito.

"How could I?" My jaw tightened. "I pushed her away. I blamed her for my brother's death. I said things I can't take back... I hurt her. Sinira ko ang buhay niya. Winasak ko siya... all without knowing she's pregnant with Zoe." I gritted my teeth.

"Damn it!" I hit the countertop again, harder this time, biting back a hiss of pain.

"Shit! Attorney, dumudugo na kamao mo!" halos umalingawngaw sa kusina ng penthouse ko ang sigaw ni Angelito.

"I'm so stupid. I'm a fucking idiot!" I berated myself, my fist still pressing against the hard surface of the countertop.

"Hindi pa huli ang lahat, Attorney Lance. Makakabawi ka pa sa kanila. Tutulungan ka namin... kami ni Flor, ni Atty. Kath. Kaya pa po nating ayusin 'to."

I nodded, but my mind is still racing and my heart still heavy.

"T-Tuloy pa rin ba ang plano, Attorney?" nag-aalangang tanong ni Angelito.

"No. Let's circle back to Plan A. Mas kailangan nating mahanap ngayon si Mang Felipe. 'Yong caretaker sa bahay namin sa Calapan. He's my only shot at fixing this." I replied, pressing a paper towel against my bleeding fist, determination flickering within me.

I had to face my past and reclaim my future—for Zoe and for Maggie.

***

After learning about Zoe, halos hindi na ako nakatulog. It's been the same for the past 2-3 days—sleepless for 72 hours. My conscience is eating me alive. On the third day, I decided to leave the house and go straight to my law firm.

A few sways in my tan leather office chair, and it was as if sleep was gently rocking me to oblivion. My eyelids fluttered shut. I don't know how long I'd been dozing off, but a loud commotion outside my office awakened me.

"Ma'am! Stop it, or I'll call security."

Boses iyon ni Rose, my secretary.

I stood up from my seat, my mind still foggy from exhaustion. Muntik pa nga akong madapa sa kaunting umbok sa carpet na sahig ng opisina ko, but I still managed to rush outside. And then I saw her.

She stood there in a blue sundress and a white cardigan, her hair flowing freely down her back. Those Spanish eyes—eyes that had haunted me for seven years—still haunts me up to this day.

My Maria Galina.

She scanned me quickly, and the way her gaze lingered on me made me feel exposed. Nakakahiya! Bagong gising pa naman ako.

"Rose, it's okay..." I muttered, motioning my secretary to calm down before turning my attention back to the woman who had once been everything to me—and still is. Back to Maggie.

"You want to talk?" I asked. She just nodded without a word.

But the 'talk' didn't go as I expected. It wasn't really a conversation at all—it turned into an accusation. She accused me of threatening her, of sending pictures from Landon's crime scene, malicious texts, and even a box of rotten fruit.

Hindi ako ang gumawa ng mga iyon, pero may kutob ako kung sino. And I can't share that hunch with her, so I stayed calm. I had to.

I stayed calm... until she mentioned that word.

"Okay, fine! Itanggi mo hangga't gusto mo. I don't care! Just stay away from me and my family, Lance!" Her voice shook with fury as she stood up from the chair in front of my table.

"Family? Huh? You mean her?" I failed to stop myself. I stood up, pulled Zoe's picture from my coat pocket and shoved it in her direction.

"Cordelia Zoe Ortiz, six years old, blue eyes... which she probably got from her—"

"Stop it, Lance!" Her voice cracked, and in an instant, her tears started to fall. "She... she's not yours. A-Anak namin siya ni Greg, my ex." She broke down completely.

I know she's lying. Alam kong anak namin si Zoe. There's no Greg. Wala siyang naging karelasyon after me. At least, that's what Angelito found out during his investigation.

"Stop threatening me, Lance. Stop stalking me," she gasped between sobs, wiping her face with her trembling hands. "Huwag ka nang pupunta sa Café Amor. Stop digging details about my family, especially about my daughter!"

I flinched when she grabbed the photo of Zoe from my hands. Napunit iyon dahil sa lakas ng paghila niya.

"S-Stay away from us... or else I'll take legal actions, Attorney." she warned, her voice cold and firm.

I could feel the finality in her words, but when I saw the way her hand clutched the torn picture of Zoe—like it was the last piece of her heart—I couldn't help myself. I reached for her, gently taking her hand.

"Maggie..." ibinulong ko ang pangalan niya kagaya ng kung paano ko ibinubulong iyon dati sa kubo namin sa Sta. Isabel.

Marahas niyang binawi ang kamay niya mula sa akin. "Hindi ako si Maggie. Wala na si Maggie, Lance. You killed her!" Her words hit me like a slap, raw and bitter.

And in that moment, I acted without thinking.

I pulled her into me, capturing her lips in a kiss—a kiss that felt like everything and nothing at once.

***

Pinakiusapan ko si Flor na bisitahin si Maggie sa Café Amor. Maybe the sight of an old friend would offer her comfort. But that day, hindi lang si Flor ang bumisita sa kaniya.

I saw her being shoved into a white van by two masked men. My heart skipped a beat. I jumped out of my car, running towards her, my gun in my hand, ready to stop them.

Pero mabilis ding humarurot palayo ang puting sasakyan. By the time I reached Maggie, she was gasping for air, her face pale and streaked with tears.

"Ayos ka lang? Are you hurt? Gail?" hinihingal kong tanong, pero hindi siya makasagot. She looked dazed, still in shock from what had just happened.

"Gail... Gail!" I called her fake name, trying to snap her back to reality, but she was too far gone.

Dahan-dahan kong hinawakan ang panga niya at maingat kong hinalikan ang noo niya. "Maggie..."

Napaatras siya sa ginawa ko. I didn't mean to scare her, but her fear was overwhelming. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niya at nangingilid pa rin ang mga luha niya.

"Si Zoe!" she blurted out. "Kailangan kong puntahan si Zoe! Baka siya naman ang subukang dukutin ni Hugo!"

I managed to convince her that I'd take her to Zoe's school. Ang sabi ko, ipag-da-drive ko lang siya at hindi ako bababa ng sasakyan.

The drive felt like a sequel to our conversation inside my office days ago. But this time, I let her vent all her frustration, her anger at me, at the world—she needed to release it. And I took it all in, no defenses.

Nang makababa na si Maggie ng sasakyan ko, hindi agad ako umalis. I watched her run towards Zoe, towards our baby who's already sitting at the waiting shed. Then they embraced.

Something inside me cracked open.

How can this scene be so beautiful and painful at the same time?

"There's your lifeline, Lance..." I whispered.

"Sayang, Kuya Landon..." I looked up, as if speaking to the sky. "You should've seen them. I finally have something to lose." The words left my mouth in a bitter laugh. "May saysay na ang buhay ko, Kuya."

My tears blurred my vision. Hindi ko napansin kung kailan sila nag-umpisang mahulog mula sa mga mata ko.

"I finally have something to lose... and something worth dying for."

***

I heard a light knock on the hotel door just as I finished changing. I quickly walked over to the peephole and peered through. I let out a small sigh of relief when I saw that it was Kath. Without hesitation, I opened the door.

She giggled upon seeing me. "Here!" She handed me a pink paper bag, pressing it to my chest.

"Thanks, Kath. I'll pay you... how much?" tanong ko habang kinakapa ang wallet ko.

She scoffed, laughing teasingly. "Wag na! Those are my clothes anyway. Sarado na kasi ang Mall when I got your text, hindi na ako nakabili. I just hope na magka-size kami ni Maggie."

She tiptoed, craning her neck to peek at Maggie, who was still sound asleep on the bed.

"Kath, don't," I said, trying to stop her. "She's sleeping."

Namilog ang mga mata niya. She fluttered her eyelashes and gasped loudly.
"Gosh, Lance! Masyado mo yatang pinagod?!" Magaan niyang tinapik ang braso ko. Napailing na lang ako at napahilamos ng mukha.

"Nothing happened. We just—" I squinted my eyes for a second. "She stopped me because of... you," I muttered, my voice tinged with both regret and irritation.

Kath burst into laughter, loud and unrestrained.

"Shhh! You'll wake her up!" saway ko sa kaniya.

She raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Dapat talaga sinabi ko na sa kaniya sa café na hindi mo ako totoong girlfriend!"

"Don't you dare, Kath. Ako na ang magsasabi sa kaniya. I'll tell her everything," I warned, my tone half-joking, half-serious.

***

Nanginginig ang mga daliri ko habang nakapikit kong binibihisan si Maggie. Nanunuyo rin ang lalamunan ko, na kahit ano'ng lunok ko ng laway ay parang uhaw na uhaw pa rin ako.

"Shit! Get it together, Lance!" I repeatedly uttered.

I'm not sure how I did it, but somehow I managed to get her into my car. She was still half-asleep, though a bit more sober than before. I buckled her seatbelt and was about to slide into the driver's seat when she suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Hindi ka na kasi dapat nag-request ng kiss kanina," she mumbled, eyes still closed. "Nakauwi na sana ako kay Zoe..."

I frowned, taken aback by her sleep talking. "I didn't ask for a kiss," I replied.

"Yes, you did," her voice slightly slurred but insistent. "Sabi mo kanina... 'Can you kiss me?'"

I furrowed my brows, trying to recall everything that had happened at Andrew's wedding after-party.

Then a particular scene flashed through my mind.

Damn, she was really drunk. That's not what I said at all.

Ang tinanong ko sa kaniya ay "Can you see me?" Naniningkit na kasi ang mga mata niya dahil sa alak.

"Inulit mo pa nga, Lance. Naawa tuloy ako sa 'yo!" pagpapatuloy niya sa version ng kuwento niya habang nakapikit pa rin.

I couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Alright, alright. Just rest for a bit and I'll get you home," I said, leaning back in my seat as she settled into the passenger seat.

***

"A-Almost there... one last f-floor..." I was almost out of breath. Medyo masakit na ang braso ko dahil pasan-pasan ko sa likod ko si Maggie habang nakasabit sa balikat ko ang plastic ng basa niyang damit. I could hear her light snoring, steady and rhythmic.

Walang elevator sa building. I had no choice but to take the stairs. Pawisan na ang leeg ko nang makarating ako sa tapat ng pinto ng unit niya.

My heart began to pound in my chest. I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself.

What if si Zoe ang magbukas ng pinto? Am I ready to face her?

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the doorbell lightly.

"Waaaaait!" A small voice echoed from the other side.

I straightened up, despite the weight of Maggie, and exhaled sharply. My palms were clammy, and a bead of sweat formed on my forehead.

The door creaked open, and there she was—my daughter. Cordelia Zoe. Her wide blue eyes stared at me, a mixture of surprise and something I couldn't quite place.

"Hi, I'm Lance. Y-Your Mama's friend."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit iyon ang una kong nasabi. It felt wrong.

Her mouth hung open for a moment, and then she frowned slightly.

Why? Did I screw up?

"Friend?" she asked, her tiny brow creasing.

Without another word, she darted past me, her small feet tapping lightly on the floor. Umikot siya sa may likuran ko—maybe to get a closer look at her mother.

"What happened to Mama?" she asked eagerly.

I stepped inside. Mula sa may pintuan ng unit nila, kitang-kita ko na ang kabuuan ng studio-type apartment na inuupahan nila. Masikip ito kahit pa para sa isang maliit na pamilya.

Guilt—it was biting me again. If only I knew... they would never sleep in a place like this.

"What happened to Mama?" I snapped back to reality when I heard Zoe. Her voice shifted, no longer just curious, but demanding.

"She's just... a bit tired and... drunk," I said, trying to keep my tone steady as I lowered Maggie into the couch. "Galing kasi kami sa wedding ng boss niya." Inilapag ko sa sahig ang plastic ng basang damit ni Maggie.

"Drunk?" Zoe's face scrunched up in disbelief, her little arms crossing tightly over her chest. "Hindi umiinom ng alak si Mama! Why is she unconscious? Did you hurt her? Did you poison her?!"

Napakurap-kurap ako sa binibintang niya sa akin. "N-No. Of course not. I would never hurt her."

I rubbed my forehead. "She's just sleeping. You can check..."

Without hesitation, Zoe ran over to Maggie, pressing her small ear to her mother's chest. I watched her listen intently for a moment. Then, slowly, a smile crept into her little face.

I cleared my throat, trying to steer the conversation back. "A-Are you alone here?"

Sinulyapan niya ako. "No. May kinuha lang si Mamita sa apartment niya sa kabila. She'll be back soon."

Then she plopped herself down on the armrest of the couch where I'd laid Maggie, her short legs dangling over the edge. She crossed her arms again and stared at me sharply.

"Bakit mo tinatanong? Are you going to kidnap me?"

I couldn't help but laugh softly. She really has her mother's spirit.

"No, Zoe. I'm not going to kidnap you."

Her gaze softened. "Y-You know my name?"

"Yeah, your Mama told me."

She looked at me with newfound curiosity. "Are you really just her friend?"

Natigilan ako sa seryosong tanong niya at sa pagtitig niyang parang tumatagos sa akin.

"Yes. Just her friend." My voice cracked. I hope she didn't hear the lie in that.

She dug something out of her pajama pocket and showed it to me. It was a photo—my photo, torn into pieces and taped back together on a scrap of paper.

"This is you, right?" she asked, her small voice trembling slightly.

I stared at the photo, my heart tightening in my chest. "Yeah... that's me."

"Someone gave it to me, but Mama got mad and tore it, but I fixed it," Zoe explained, flashing a proud smile. "Sabi no'ng nagbigay sa 'kin, Papa ko raw 'tong nasa picture."

The words struck like a thunderclap. My knees wobbled, and my breath caught in my throat. She knew about me. She knew I was her father.

"But maybe he's lying. Grown-ups lie all the time. Si Mama nga rin nagsinungaling sa 'kin, eh!" She tucked my picture back into her pocket.

I couldn't breathe. The weight of her words was crushing over me.

She swung her legs a little as she thought aloud. "Saka pa'no kita magiging Papa if you're just Mama's friend? Mama told me when two people love each other, they get a baby as a gift. Galing daw 'yon kay Papa God."

"Zoe..." My voice faltered. "I'm... I'm your—"

Suddenly, the door swung open with a force that rattled me. Isang babae ang nagmamadaling pumasok sa loob. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niya at mukhang takot na takot siya sa bumungad sa kaniya.

"Dios mio, apo!"

She gave me a quick glance and waved her hand for Zoe to come closer. "Lika dito, Zoe. Dali!"

"Mamita, it's okay!" Zoe smiled brightly, rushing toward the woman. "He's Mama's friend. Tito Lance!"

Tito Lance.

The words etched in my mind. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be the man standing in front of my daughter, with my heart torn between the truth and the lie I'd been living. I would never be ready for this, but I wanted this. I would take back my family, and I would protect them—no matter the cost.

***

MsLynLuna ☽