Runaway ~ Aurora.

ALLIE.

Relief.
That mighty feeling you get when you let something out, something that you've been keeping for so long. Something that more often than not, eats at you every single day. Constantly reminding you of the hurt and endless pain. But relief, well I'm relieved right now. Being able to share a fraction of my dark past with Harry proved that maybe it's not a bad thing to let someone in. Maybe not everything is worth keeping.

Harry was so understanding, listening to me keenly and sympathising with every moment of that first ordeal. I was only a teenager, fifteen and still very young. I needed my mom but she was busy taking her husband's side and actually making things seem like my fault. It was never my fault. It has never been anyone's fault that someone would decide to defile and do non-consensual things to them. I can only say that I'm lucky. Even though the disgusting prints of his touch haunt me everyday, I'm just glad it never went far enough. Escaping such a situation twice might just be fate's way of sending a message. A message that I don't think I can quite understand for now.

"I'm so sorry you went through all that. I just can't believe your mom literally did nothing about it." Harry speaks in a low angry tone while soothing my hair.

"I hope you can understand why I have such a strained relationship with her. That's just one of the smallest things she's done to me." I admit. Thinking back at everything I've gone through brings tears to my eyes again.

"You need to tell me everything Allie, talk to me please," Harry cradles my cheeks with his thumbs catching my falling tears. I shake my head no, because I know how much it will tear me apart to have to speak of those things from my past. "Kitten, you have to tell me. Let me in please." He begs. It's not that I don't want to let him in. No.  I'm only afraid of how he'll look at me once he finds out everything.

"I- I just-" my voice cracks as I try to explain myself to Harry.

"Ssh.. It's okay," he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"What did she tell you? My-my mom, what did she tell you?" I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that question but maybe if I have an idea of what he already knows, I can figure out how to tell him the rest.

"Oh, her.. She- uh- she told me a bunch of things I didn't understand. But it doesn't matter really-"

"It does! It matters Harry." I cut him short, feeling my nerves starting to get the better of me.

"Okay. I will tell you." Harry starts. He takes my hands in his and I assume he is trying to calm himself down. But the truth is, I'm the one that he needs to calm down because I'm a nervous and emotional wreck.

"When you excused yourself during dinner, it kind of felt like she couldn't wait for you to give us room. She just jumped right into saying things. She uh- she said- she told me that you are sick. And that I should be careful of you. That you are dangerous. But I don't believe any of that-" Harry seems to have a tough time revealing everything. I watch as he battles to pick the right words to say, just so he doesn't have to hurt me. But before he could completely tell me how much of that he doesn't believe, I need to tell him the truth.

"I am." I state simply. A simple vague statement that leaves him confused.

"You are...?" He drags out his question waiting for me to complete it with a sensible answer. His eyebrows knit together and his lips part slightly as he takes in one huge breath.

"I am sick. Was.. I was sick. I'm just not sure I am anymore." My revelation leaves cold silence between us. I try to find the right words as Harry searches my eyes for answers. Answers that I can't seem to give him no matter how hard he looks. My lips part but no words are able to come out. My throat runs dry as my eyes well up. I grab the glass of water on the night stand and take a huge sip.
"I spent a certain period of time in a mental institution." Harry's eyes widen as I continue to expose my past bit by bit. I wait for him to let go off of my hand but he only squeezes and holds it tighter.

I take a deep breath before continuing. "Pierce Woodside sanitarium."

"Wh- why?" Harry stutters. 

"They said that- that I wasn't okay. And that I needed to get better away from home. Away from-" I break down when the lump in my throat becomes too much. Stopping me from finishing my sentence.

"You don't have to continue-" Harry begins but I interrupt him.

"They said that mommy wanted me to get better. And accept to live with what I had done." At this point I am in a daze of some sort. And it feels like I'm reliving  those moments all over again. "I used daddy's gun to shoot him in the chest. But I didn't remember doing that. I was 8. I don't remember. Sometimes I do, sometimes it's a whole different thing in my head." My voice cracks and I cry uncontrollably. I realize that I already disconnected from Harry's touch when he tries to touch me again. I can't really explain why but I pull away, putting some more space between us. How can he want to touch me after learning who I really am?

"Allie-"

"I can't remember clearly- I just wish I could but I can't. They passed ridiculously high amounts of electric currents through my head. Electroconvulsive therapy, that's what they called it. And- and she was always there to watch. She watched every session of it." My heart feels like its breaking all over again. I don't know if I have the energy to keep telling him but I need to remember. A painful cry erupts from my lips as I clutch onto my chest. I'm hurting so so bad.

"You don't have to do this. Just stop baby please!" Harry begs me. His eyes all glossed up and slightly red.

"He was yelling at her. And she was crying. And yelling back at him. I think he was trying not to cry. But he was hurting her and I could see it. I called out to him and begged him to stop hurting her. And- " my memory starts to fail me like it always has. I struggle to follow through with that image in my head. "And he stopped." I am honestly surprised that in my recent memories, he stops hurting her when I ask him to.

"They said that he didn't stop hurting her when I asked him to stop. And that's when I shot him. But- but that's not right. He stopped. I know he stopped but I still shot him and- and it doesn't make sense." I'm pacing around and pulling at my hair. I need to remember everything because nothing is making sense. Harry is approaching me slowly but when he touches my arm I flinch. I can't stop crying and also cannot tell who is more confused between the two of us. Harry holds me but I fight to get away from his hold. He doesn't budge and continues to hold me tightly while I collapse in his arms and wail.

"Let it all out," he whispers and kisses my hair. I feel a weight slightly lifted off of my chest. But I can't stop crying.

"My grandfather died in my arms." Harry's voice comes out weak and shaky. Like he is afraid he will break down. "He was poisoned and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't even get him to a hospital in time." Harry's revelation catches me by surprise. He hardly ever speaks of his past or anything for that matter, but here we are. Two broken people sharing their shattered pieces.

"Harry, I-" I can't seem to find the appropriate words.

"Look we've both done things that we wish we'd done differently. Things that haunt us everyday but we still have to live our lives and not let them define us." Harry forces my chin up to have me look into his eyes. The amount of vulnerability I see is more than I ever imagined.

I fall into a proper embrace and relax in his arms. I think it's something we both need after such a long night full of all of sorts of drama. Harry tightly wraps his arms around my waist, giving me a feeling of security and a literal shoulder to lean on.

At the risk of ruining the moment, I find myself asking,"What happened to Freya Rose?"

Immediately those words leave my mouth, Harry stiffens in our embrace and his hold around my waist starts to loosen. He slowly pushes me off of him and looks everywhere else but me.

"Harry I need to know," I speak softly, afraid of what his reaction might be.

"I don't wanna talk about that again," he declares.

"But Harry-"

"I think we've done enough sharing for now," he interrupts me and walks away heading towards the door.

I walk hastily after him and grab his arm a little more harder than I intended. He looks at his arm then straight at my face. I can see it. The anger and pain both present in his eyes.

"Let it go Allison." He firmly commands me.

"No! I can't let it go! You need to tell me what happened to her. There is so much I don't understand and there is so much I need to tell you as well-"

"So much like Alex?" He raises his voice and grabs my wrist. Here we go again.

"You can't seriously be jealous right now Harry!" I raise my voice to match his.

"Jealous?" He scoffs. "You're the one who is jealous of a dead girl!" He counters in a loud but strained voice.

"I'm not jealous of her. This is ridiculous! I'm only asking because it's important. Please just tell me!" I grab both his arms feeling so determined to find out everything. He needs to tell me his side of the story so that I can tell him about Nate and his plans.

"You know what, I admit it. I am jealous of that Alex square! But you- you have no right to be jealous of a dead girl okay?" Harry grits his teeth and speaks against them. A vein bulges in the middle of his forehead.  He's jealous of Alex? I am kind of jealous of how protective he is of this Freya girl.

"What? How can you even be jealous of him? That's absurd!" I bite back knowing very well that Harry is trying to get out of talking about Freya.

"How can I not be jealous? I don't even know who the fùck that block is. He just showed up from absolutely nowhere and I'm supposed to be calm? He calls himself your boyfriend!" From the way Harry is shouting, his temper is definitely on a hair-trigger. What baffles me is how worked up he is about this.

"Well he isn't. He was but now he isn't!" I yell in utter frustration. Why did Alex show up to cause all this trouble?

"How am I supposed to believe that?" Harry asks in a more relaxed tone.
All I do is stare into his eyes. Hoping that he can read the sincerity in mine.

"I thought so," he let's me go and starts to walk away towards the balcony when I remain quiet. Unable to give him the answer that he wants to hear.

"I don't want anything to do with him Harry. You have to believe me please." Harry needs to believe me. I am disgusted by Alex and never will I ever want him in my life.

"Why should I believ-" Harry's question is cut off halfway through by my very surprising response.

"Because he slept with my mom!" I blurt out so loudly. Loud enough for anyone in the next room to hear. And with that, I run out of the room, wanting to be anywhere else but in the presence of Harry. He never should have pushed me to tell him about Alex. 

AN:
Well shit. What hasn't Allie's Mom done?
That was revealing. Thoughts on the chapter?

Hi! So one of you amazing babies requested that I do a Q&A segment. Because it's good for my readers to get to know me. So message me any questions that you might have and I shall answer every single one of them in the next part.

I love you. See you around.