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Well it's a shivi one shot book

Our one and only shiva and raavi from pandya store

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By me ie Zoey ..

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~•🥀 KISHTON MAIN PYAR TU KAR 🥀•~

CHHUP CHHUP KE DILBAR KA DEEDAR KAR
AE DIL TU AAHISTA IZHAAR KAR
SARA KA SARA NA KARNA ABHI SE
AASAN KISTON MAIN TU PYAR KAR

CHHUP CHHUP KE DILBAR KA DEEDAR KAR
AE DIL TU AAHISTA IZHAAR KAR
PAGLE SARA KA SARA NA KARNA ABHI SE
AASAN KISTON MAIN TU PYAR KAR

RAAVI'S POV

I stole a glance at my Bhoothnath ya ya Bhoothnath shiva who was sitting beside me and was so engrossed in one of his favourite work ie his food which was made by his favourite bhabhi dhara di.

I sighed confusingly and tried to concentrate on my plate. It was morning and whole Pandya family was having their breakfast together as always.

Well my concern was not that who is having food who is not . But my concern was my confused emotions .
Yes my emotions that were taking a toll on my mind and heart that too all of a sudden.

As I have last night witnessed a carefree cute laughing shiva that too ages after.
Yes you heard it right I have seen Bhoothnath laughing like a child after a long time .

It was a treat to my eyes and ears as I had seen him like this when we were kids .
When our equation was less bitter and complicated.
I don't know why our equation is always so bitter and complicated ,never got that answer and even we never tried either to figure out that why we always fight and show bitterness to each other.
Don't know why such bitter emotions get erupted when we both come face to face .

Time flew and we grew up with this and so does shiva started showing me his more filtered emotions.
With time his behaviour towards me became more hard and consolidated.

All these years when I confessed him that I love dev his elder brother instead of showing happiness he had either shone me hateness or smrinked at me .

For the very first time I have seen him smiling genuinely and cheerfully , brightly and that Twinkle in his dark brown orbs which are so deep and beautiful whenever I look at them I get lost in them and forget the world around me .

I have never felt the same intensity even around dev my once childhood love .
I have always seen shiva smiling around his Dhara bhabhi .

For the first time he laughed wholeheartedly in my presence previous night when he tried to prank at me about the ghost .

And for a moment I was lost in his smile and senere calm face.
The face was glowing in the moonlight and when he squeeze his eyes and laugh the cheeks creates dimples around them . Don't know how much I crave to watch him like this once in my lifetime .
Surprisingly in a trance I spoke to him: "TU KITNA ALAG LAGTA HAI HASTE HUA SHIVA " and that instant he stopped laughing and looked at me .

I clearly remember in my memory lane back in my head he had always shone me anger filled glares and rudeness.
I know him since childhood as shiva is my masapa's nephew and Dev's younger brother and ofcourse not to forget dhara Di's most favourite devar but loving son .

After the wedding fasico I saw shiva calm and composed basically in simple words I saw dhara Di's shiva .
The shiva she always wanted to cherish but unfortunately never able to do .
And even I don't know why I want this to happen.

When ever I try to not think about him but alas he comes back with double force in my thoughts and I always end up thinking about him.

My heart now wants to see that shiva again and again whom she saw laughing previous night a carefree and as soft as flower .
I am feeling as if his laughter , his smile has been struck like a movie back in my head.
May be my heart has started to desire the same too now which I don't know will happen again or not .
will I be able to see him like they again ? My heart asked me ? Whose answer was not there with me .

I don't know what's happening to me and is not able to resist his face and my gaze at him pushes me to see him again and again.
Unfortunately, he caught me up looking at him.
He even asked me through his eyes that what happened to me and In response I just roamed my eyes everywhere than him so that he do not misunderstand me .
I was thinking all this while having food don't know when got finished.

PEHLE NIBHA KE DEKHI HAI TUNE
MEHANGI MOHABBAT VILAYATI
PADH JAAYE JISME LENE KE DENE
GHAATE KA SAUDA NIHAYATI

Post breakfast I was helping dhara di in the kitchen when I cut my finger.
Well what to say that Bhoothnath has been stuck in my head that I am not able to even concentrate on my work .
He has still captured my thoughts which is not good for me .
But what to do nothing is working and my mind and  heart is not listening to me at all.
Well they never listens to me when it comes to shiva pandya. It seems like they dance on the tunes of my Bhoothnath.

I came out of my thoughts process when dhara di apply some haldi on my cut and asked me to take rest and when I will be feeling well then come to the kitchen .

I nodded absent-mindedly and walking in the haveli and was again preoccupied with the thoughts of shiva and didn't know where I was heading to .
I was about to stumble at the doorstep of the courtyard but caught up myself from falling .
I Started walking again and I flashed back to the square of reality when a wood piece caught up at my hand and hurted me at the same cut where the knife cut the finger .

Hearing my shriek shiva who was cutting the woods looked at me and came running to me and stared at me from tip to toe as if figuring out something and then looked at the hand .
He held my hand in his rough strong hands gently .
Droplets of blood was oozing out of the wound and he narrowed his eyes to look at me for a while.
I realised I was looking at him too continuously lost somewhere.

Out of the blue he spoke:
' aye ghadhedi dekh ke nahi chal sakti thi , pata nahi subha se dekh raha hun kaha dhayan hai ?
Bas apni hi duniya main khoi hui hai subha se ,bewacoof  agar kuch ho jata toh ya zor se lag kahi lag jati toh ?
Ab har wakt toh tera dhayan rakhne ke liye koi nhi hoga na , khud ka dhayan khud rakhna chahiye na ,per nahi inko kya .. 
hame toh rakhna aata hi nahi hai apna dhayan ..
Tu bachhi nahi haii ab badi hoja .. chipkali kahiki, ...’
listening this I came to a defence mode hearing his remarks at me aur aau bhi kyu nahi khud toh jaisa bhut bada dayakar hai huh Bhoothnath kahika .

'oye Bhoothnath,tujha kya haan jhan marzi jaaun . Meri chot hai muja khud lagi hai main khud thik kar lungi .
Tujha fikar karne ki zarurat nahi hai samjha .
As soon as he heard me saying this he spoke again .
Voh chup kaisa rahega mujha sun kar . He will retort back right .
'aaye mami ki bhen ki beti,chup kar samjhi na '
Saying so he took out his handkerchief from his pocket and started wiping it carefully .

Fikar song started playing in the background.

In a trance of abundance I took a glance at him while he was attending my wound lightly and with that I closed my eyes and winced holding his upper arm.
He looked at me for a short span of time and softly wrapped the handkerchief around my finger then waited for me to open my eyes and look that everything is done smoothly.

When I felt nothing as sort I saw at the wound and simultaneously.
We looked at each other for a moment.
As soon as I came out of my rivere I jerked off my hand away from his .
I said :
' tujha kaha na tu apna kaam kar , main apna kaam khud kar lungi ,mujha tere sahare ki zarurat nahi hai .'

He heard what I said and spoke:
' abe ghadhedi ki ghadhedi hi rahegi tu .
Pehle dekh toh le khoon aana bandh ho gaya hai,phir bolna jo bol rahi thi apni kaichi jaisi zubaan se .
Aur haan sun rakh yeh rumaal apne pass tu bhi kya yaad rakhegi .'
I was really angry what he said to me but didn't retorted back instead we both gave a hard glare at eachother and left for respectively.

KARNA AGAR HI HAI TOH PYAAR KAR LE
SASTA SA DESI KEFHAYATI

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that what ever happened just minutes back .
I looked straight and took in the scene in front of me .
There stood dev and Rishita in the middle of the courtyard in an intimate position.
I felt really uncomfortable around it and started looking here and there.
I wanted to go from there before either of them notice my presence.
But I felt as if my feet are glued at one place .
I was not able to move an inch . Don't know why?

My subconscious mind did because you are embarrassed what the couple was doing in the middle of the courtyard. How can they do such a thing in an open area?
Knowing anyone can caught them like this . Don't they know it's there personal thing ?
Jo sirf ek couple ke beech hi rehna chahiya ? But no they have to do it in open .

I know I was feeling so uncomfortable and awkward around them .
It could be anyone other than me too like Krish , gaumbi, dhara di anyone who could have caught them red handed like this.
But what I was thinking suprised me more .

I was imagining how shiva would have scolded them seeing them like this .
'aaye amir baap ki beti , apne yeh harkatein jo hain na voh apne karme tak rakh .
Bhar logo ko show off karne ki zarurat nahi hai ki tum dono kitna pagal ho pyar main .
Ek baat bata aate hua ghar se sharam lihaz mandir main baat aai kya ?
chodo esa sawal puch bhi kis se raha hun . Jiske pass sharam lihaz hai hi nahi voh kya kisi ko degi ya dikhayegi .
Phir bhi kahunga ghar se aate hua thodi sharam lihaz daan main le aati toh teri ego kam nhi ho jati .'
I chuckled at my very own thought process that was doing wonders running wild in my mind .
Then suddenly realised what I was thinking standing there itself .
I didn't even realised that there is no trace of past happening or love for the person standing in front of me .
It was all about shiva and his doing were running in my mind.

When I felt that someone or rather I say dev said sorry and then Rishita was giving me a hard angry glare with her eyes as if she will turn me into ashes right away.
As her eyes were spitting fire towards me as according to her I am her culprit and she is the victim.. well I really don't care about it .

Well to be honest I didn't felt anything towards them i.e. dev aur Rishita don't affect me at all.
Everything happened so fast that back then I couldn't decipher and accept whatever happened.
But with time I accepted everything, everything that dev can't be mine.
Thinking this now I didn't felt pain or hurt or hollowness and not even anger.
If someone would have said the same back before the marrige I would have killed that person that instantly but now the situation has changed now I don't feel anything any sort.
What an irony no with whom I have been in love, with this man from almost whole damn life , from entire childhood till my wedding day .
Didn't I ?
I was so mad for him .

I thought I should feel hurt ,pain , breakdown and ofcourse anger towards this man who is standing in front of me like a statue and just staring at his wife but alas nothing was there in me for him and his wife .
I was still quite lowering my gaze not wanting to meet with them .
I was trying to figure out why I am not feeling such emotions?
why I am not hurt ?
I was wondering did I really loved him this madly or it was just an infatuation to whom I couldn't figure it out and I just named it love ?

That day in mandap,I realised I don't know dev that dev to whom I claim to be in love with. When he refused to marry me in front of everyone.
He refused to acknowledge my pain , hurt ,anguish ,agony ,heart break, shattering of trust and what not .
In every bit he failed to look that how much it is breaking me from inside.

Everyday I imagined dev to be my prince charming but what he do ,he shattered my every dream in just seconds brutally that day without any second thought.
A part of me was killed that day , only one thing was running in my mind that the fear I was fighting all alone just came true , first my parents left me alone when I was a kid then I encourage myself that I have people in my life who love me then I found my happiness in pandya pariwar and I don't know when dev become my life but I always felt insecure that one day if he too left me abandon like everyone did because of my stupid fate .
But I always had kept faith in myself that nothing will happen so .
But see I was wrong my fate again played games with me . My dev left me all alone at the wedding alter .
That day I tried to finish my life thinking what's the point to live now .
I have no one to love me , support me , understand me and ya care for me .
I tried to kill myself by coming in front of a truck in highway but at the nick time from no where shiva came and saved me .
Then I again tried this time with dupatta I hanged myself on the fan but to my dismay shiva was on my rescue mode .

The eyes which always held dreams , the eyes which always lives a dream to be with my love ,my perfect life partner, my prince charming that bubble was broken and was brought to a tough , rough ,harsh reality.
I wasn't able to digest that dev never loved me the way I loved him .
The heart who used to lived moon and back for this man was never mine in this lifetime .
The love my dev was an apple to my eyes was just a pure lie . My whole life was a lie .

Then that happened which I never thought in my dreams I got married to shiva .
Yes , that shiva with whom I always fought like cats and dogs.
I haven't expected that one day I will get married to shiva pandya like this .
I was not willing to do so but my masapa wanted my happiness and don't want people to call me by bad words .
So seeing his concern and pain I agreed . There I got to know shiva was made ready to marry me by dhara di and all knows dhara Di's words are his command.
We married but there was nothing between us beyond hateness . We always fight like tom and jerry .
When ever, where ever at any place, at any situation and at any topic without seeing around us and time ..
Thinking this I want to laugh as the situation is so funny but I can't laugh at this time , it's good right .

Then I met my cousin sister Anita di next day . I learnt from her that day dev didn't came to even see me for whom I tried to kill myself not once but twice .
I was in a jifix listening that if dev had an inkling of what I was going through all this time that day .
That time I understood that I never held any place any importance in his life and eyes .
I thought if not love atleast we were good friends but may be we were not that too . It was all my misinterpretation towards him I guess .

He had always saved me whenever me and shiva came in contact of a nasty fights .
Now it hardly matters to me if comes to my rescue to save me from those fights and bickerings .
And suprisingly I never heard his say anything for his precious family members against all the aligations Rishita kept spilling all the time like a snake spill poison since she got married to dev . Where was the dev who always stood beside his family like a rock ,who could never ever hear a wrong word against them specially his favourite bhabhi dhara di ?
Or I always illusion him like that ?

Ahh I finally came out of my thoughts process a long thought process 🤭 which I don't know from when i am doing it .
I heard this time Rishita say or more preferably shouting over the top of her voice on me .
' dev tum sorry kyu bol rahe ho isse , sorry toh isse bolna chahiye, har baar yeh hum dono ke beech aa jati hai .
Jab dekho hamara personal moment karab kar deti hai . Hum dono ko alag karna chahti hai yeh ladki aur tumhe hamesha guilt trip main bhej deti hai .
Jaisa khud toh bhut badi sati Savitri samajhte hai . Muja toh samajh nahi aata yeh chahti kya hai tumse .
Khud ki life main toh koi pyar vyar hai nahi iska aur khushiyan toh isse dur bhagti hai . Jab dekho apna dukhda leke aa jayegi .
Har wakt muh latka ke ghumti rahte hai ki pata nhi kitna torture hota hai iske sath har roz .
Shiva se toh esa zabardasti ladhti hai ki dekho main apni shadi se khush nahi hun . Agar khush nahi thi toh ki kyun thi shadi usse .
Mat karti shaadi kisi ne zabardasti nahin ki thi usse shaadi karne ke liya iski khud ki haan thi iss shaadi ke liya.
Aur phir apni Roni surat leke sabse sympathy gain karti hai. Such a attention seeker women she is.
pata nahi hamara yeh picha kab chodegi .
Jha dekho wahi pahunch jati hai muh utha kar . Ghumti toh esa rehti hai jaisa isko aur koi kaam nahi hai aur sara kaam isse hi karwaya jata hai.. Pata nahi Somnath ne konsi kacchi pencil se iski kismat likhi hai hummmh 😒😤'

When she stopped I felt hollowness building in me and feeling pain is rising to the brim of my heart .
I felt as if something broke in me again as my heart sank . She thinks so low of me . She still thinks so bad about me when I don't feel anything for dev now .
Then why she is accusing me , when I am officially married to shiva pandya.
Why will I see someone else like this when I am already married .
Well to be honest ab mujha koi farak nahi padhta koi mera bare main kya sochta hai specially Rishita kya sochti hai per phir bhi dil main kahi na kahi ek aas thi shayad Rishita mujha aur mera dard ko samjhegi ek din .
But now listening her alligations I don't think now esa kabhi hoga bhi .
I once felt the need to say all this to her but I stayed mum as I don't want to speak to her .

Then I thought to leave from there finally , dhara di came to as my saviour and holded my hand and she started scolding Rishita for her behaviour towards me .

Dhara di said :
' it was her fault not mine . It could have been anyone in the place of me . And she should have seen before where she is standing before blaming me .
And the main things is I too belong to the same position as she .
May be she is elder to me in every position but that doesn't mean you will cross your limit and misbehave with anyone here in the family.
And she should apologise to me for treating me like this . '

In defense she tried to speak that she will not do anything as asked but dhara di didn't let her speak so without apologizing me she left the courtyard and then me and dev to exited the courtyard leaving dhara di all alone in the middle of the courtyard drowning her in the pool of guilt .

I went and sat near the beach on the floor folding my legs near my chest head hung down to the knees crying bitterly . Whatever happened minutes ago was moving in front of my eyes like a movie.

Minutes later , shiva came and saw me crying and sat infront of me on his toes and asked me what happened to me ,why I am crying?
I didn't spoke a word to his questions. I was mum all the time and crying .
While for the first time I saw care in his eyes . He tried to console me .

The background song played .

Shiva while consoling me said :
' aye mami ki bhen ki beti, tu ro kyu rahi hai haan ?
Kya hua kiski wajh se tu itne mote mote aansu baha rahi hai ?
dekh tera aansu ke tanker ka nal kisne khol diya batayegi ?
Ab chup kyu baithi hai bol na .. tuja pata nahi hai kya mera alawa kisi aur ko haq nahi hai tujha pareshan karne ka ?
chal ab bata bhi de kon hai jo mujhse bhi bada dushman hai tera hmm?'

I said:' tu kya karega jaan kar ? Vese bhi tuja kya farak padhta hai ?
Tu toh mujhse nafrat karta hai na toh kyu puch raha hai ?

Shiva said :' jaan se maar dunga usse'

The fire in his eyes can be seen , the way he spoke with the intensity of fury that he will kill that person was beyond my imagination.

PEHLE TU JITNA LAHPARWAH THA
UTNA SAMBHAL KA HI IS BAAR KAR

I was stunned at his remarks but soon I composed myself and didn't tell him anything that who did what with me and stood up saying :
' tu hai in aansuon ki wajh ,tu .. . Yeh aansu meri tujhse ki hui shadi ka gift hai.
Teri wajh se roti hun har roz samjha . I said all this in anger and finally left him alone there .

I was so much in pain and shock that I couldn't see his care for me in those words he spoke to me .
Instead I blamed him for which he didn't do anything bad not even know what happened with me today .

I again ended up in a secluded area of the haveli backyard and sat on the bench crying ,still processing what was my fault that Rishita insulted me so much .

Then I felt someone sitting beside me ,I looked up and saw gaumbi was sitting there flashing me his million dollars smile at me affectionately.
I Fake smiled back at him that instant. Looking at him I got an inkling that he knew I am again struggling at some point of battle ,a battle with myself, my inner self , with my heart and mind , my subconsciousness indicated me .

'tu yaha kya kar rahi hai? Yaha esa akeli kyu baithi hai ?
Shiva se phir ladai hui teri ya usne tuja kuch kaha ?
Gaumbi questioned me calmly.

'shiva se toh bas ladai hi hoti hai har wakt ' I chimmed at him .

' Matlab ladai tum dono ke routine list main hamesha rahega haina ? Uske Bina reh kaha sakte ho tum dono . Ek din na lado toh ajeeb lagta hai .
We both chuckled at the statement he made .
Suddenly he asked me again this time :
' ya phir koi aur baat hai jo tujhse pareshan kar rahi hai?'

I know he will always there for me to help ,need or when in dilemma.
Even if he didn't know the answer, he could tell me how to find the way out of the problem.
I again looked at him who gave me a peaceful calm smile .

With the pause of few minutes I started speaking:

" Kuch samajh main nahi aa raha gaumbi , roz roz zindagi ek hi mukaam per chal rahi hai ,esa lag raha hai jaisa I am at one place frozen and life is running from my hand like a quick sand .
Kitna bhi kas kar pakad lun per rait ki tarah phisal jati hai ajeeb si yeh meri zindagi.
Nah achi na buri bas ek kartey ki tarah hai beech main jhulti hui . Samajh main nahi aa raha kha se shuruaat karu chalne ki .
Jab tak kat rahi thi zindagi kat rahi thi per ab aur nahi Saha jaa raha mujhse . Kab tak esa hi chalta rahega .
Esa hi rehte rehta zinda laash ki tarah zindagi khatam ho jayegi aur koi sukh nahi mil payega.
Kab tak dorahe per khadi rahungi esa hi iss aas main ki koi apna aayega aur mera haath thham kar bolega chal wahi chale jaha zindagi phir apna nahi sira se chalegi .
Chal us raste per jo tera liya hamare liye sahi hai. Wahi chun le rah jo tujha lagta hai yahi rasta nai zindagi ko jata hai .
Kaisa bhadu main aage ?.. kaisa ?
Aur kon aayega mera pass jo mera hath kass kar thhamega aur aage bhadhne ki pareerna dega ?
Kon hoga voh ?
Zindagi hai esa dorahe per hun na aage bhadh paa rahi hun aur na hi piche mudh kar jaa sakti hun .
Aur yeh nahi hai ki mujhe piche mudh kar dekhna hai ya jana hai .
Bas itna hai ki mujha apna wahi roop wahi zindagi chahiya jaisa pehle thi main per with more passion , stronger me and all new life with full of hope and love .
Per yeh tabhi milaga jab main un do raahon main se ek raah ko chunungi aur agge bhadhungi .
Per samajh main bhi toh aaye kha jana hai?
kiske sath jana hai ? Kiske liya jana hain ? Akele jana hai ya sath kisi ke chalna hai is raah per ?
I am not able to decide anything . It is going so difficult for me . "

I looked at gaumbi suprised at his interpretation. Gaumbi continued with his evergreen smile on his face .

"Uske sath jisne tujha bachpan se leke aaj tak tujha sirf sataya hai ...
Uske sath jo tujha us raat akele gundo ke beech chod diya tha ..
uske sath jiske sath tu har pal har ghadhi ladhti hai ...
Uske sath jise teri koi parwah nahi hai..
uske sath tu ek nafrat bhare rishte main bandhi hai .."

I looked away from his eyes, not wanting to meet them .

" tu mujhe ek baat bata raavi , dev ne tujha mandap per akela tanha chod diya?
Tu khud ko mitane jaa rahi thi jiske wajh se aur usse khabar tak nahi thi , usne tere sath itna galat kiya .
Usse toh apni khushiyon ke aage tera dard ,tera dukh , teri takleef , tera pyar kuch dikhai nahi voh inta kho chuka tha apne aap main , apne pyar mein ki tu usse dikhai hi nahi di .
Usse tu doshi , apna gunehgar nahi therati ? Usko nahi kosti tu aur nah hi ladai jhada karti ?
Phir shiva se itni shikhwa kyun ? Kyun itni shikayatein hai usse ?
Dev se kyun nahi yeh sab ?

I said :
" shikhwayein aur shikayatein toh unse ki jati hai nah jo apne ho ? Mera apna kon hai yaha ?
Siwaye apke , Dhara di ke aur Krish ke hmm ?
Aur rahi baat dev ki toh , dev toh ussi din mera liya ajnabi ban gaya tha jis din usne accept kiya ki voh mujhse pyar nahi karta aur Voh Rishita se pyar karta hai. Usse shadi karna chahta hai .
Maine usse usi din piche chod diya tha jis din usne muja mandap main akela tanha chod diya tha tutne bikharne ke liya aur wahi bina meri parwah kiya aur mera bare main ek baar bhi soche usne apne pyar ka hath tham liya , Rishita se shadi kar li mera aankon ke samne voh uska ho gaya aur main kisi aur ki biwi ban gai .
Aur toh aur uss din se leke aaj tak uski biwi meri insult pe insult karti rehti hai , bewajah ke bhahane dhundti hai mujhpe chillane ke .
Esa koi din nahi gaya hoga jab usne mujhe neecha nah dikhaya ho , aur Voh Dev vaha chup chap khada sir jhukaye sirf meri insult hote hua dekhta rehta hain .
Ek lafz tak nahi nikalta uske muh se . Apni biwi ke samne toh uske muh main dahi jam jati hai aur sahi galt ka toh use farak bhi nahi dikhta tab . Itna bura vyavhar toh us Bhoothnath ne bhi mera sath nahi kiya aaj tak jitna in dono ne kiya hai mera sath . In dono ne toh mera Tamasha bana kar rakh diya , mujhe chalni kar diya hai ander se khokhli ho gai hun main unki in harkaton se , uski biwi ke ilzaamon se , baaton se , ab mera mujhme kuch bhi pehle jaisa nahi raha .
Ab main voh rahi hi nahi jo main pehle thi . Khush , pagal , apni masti main rehne wali .
Zindagi ko jeene wali . Ab kaha kho gaya sab . Sab toh cheen liya dono ne mujhse .
Kabhi kabhi toh lagta hai kya main dev ki kabhi dost bhi thi ya phir voh bhi mera hai ek vehem hai ?
Kya voh ek baar , bas ek baar insaaniyat ke naate mera baare main nahi puch sakta tha per afsoos usne toh esa bhi nahi kiya .
Rishita kehti hai ki main sympathy gain karne ke liya roti rehti hun per yeh sach nahi hai .
Asal main mujha toh iss baat ka gam hai ki dev ne ek baar bhi aage bhadhkar mujhse maafi tak nahi mangi , ek baar bhi usse afsoos nahi hua that what he did was wrong aur usne toh yeh tak accept nahi kiya ki voh galt tha apne actions mein , main nahi .
Mujha iss baat ka dukh bilkul nahi hai ki dev kisi aur se pyar karta hai , voh kisi aur ka ho chuka hai ,aur uski khushi mujh main nahi Rishita main hai .
Main uske liya bhut khush hun ki dono ek dusre se sacha pyar karte hai aur unka pyar jeet bhi gaya .
Mujha Rishita se koi problem nahi hai per voh , usse toh mujhse nafrat hi nafrat hai .
Aur jatane ka ke liya koi mauka bhi nahi chodti voh.
Vese bhi ab dev se kuch kehne ke liya bacha hi kya hai , choda hi kaha voh haq usne jo main usse kuch kahu, shikayatein karu ,ladai karu .
Ek dosti tak ka nata nahi chod paya toh kehne ke liya lafzon ki kya manyata hogi uske liya .
Toh kahu bhi toh kya kahu usse main . Aur ab toh umeed bhi nahi hai usse koi .
Voh lagta hi kya hai ab mera , kuch bhi toh nahi lagta . Ab bas voh sirf rishte main shiva ka bhai hai mera liya aur kuch bhi nahi .
Aapko pata hai gaumbi ab toh uska khayal tak nahi aata zehen main mere.
Ab sochne baithi toh pata chala ki voh toh kahi bhi baki nahi raha mujh main .
Yeh ehsaas hua ki dev toh kabhi mera apna tha hi nahi , bas main hi main thi in sab main , It was always me ."

I paused for few minutes to take a deep breath and was feeling light sharing everything with gaumbi .

Then gaumbi spoke out of blue:
' SHIVA KYA HAI TERA LIYA ?'
I taken back out of my stupitor lost with a Question mark what shiva's presence held in my life ? What he is to me ?
What importance he has in my life ?
So many what's were there in my mind when gaumbi asked me shiva kya hai mera liya ?
Jiska jawab mera pass khud bhi nahi hai uska kya jawab sun main unhe ?
Kya kahu unse ki voh mera kya lagta hai ?

Gaumbi started giving me the answer of my what's or he was still questioning me in the name of answers ?
I don't know ? Let's see what he is saying .

" Tera apna shayad ? Raavi teri feelings dev ke kartoot per jitni khalish hain na itni hi strong shiva ke actions per hain .
Tum dono ek dusre se hamasha se hi ladhte jhagade aaye ho , nafrat karte aaye ho .
Phir tujha uska yun chod aana waha akele gundo ke beech itna kyu khal gaya ?
Kyun itna chubha jab usne tujhse itni berukhi se baat ki teri is ilzaam ke baad ?
Kyun tujha itna dard hua , bachaini hui jab voh behosh ho gaya tha gundo se fight karte hua kyun ? Kabhi socha hai ?
Kya hai shiva tera liya ? Kabhi sochne ki koshish ki tune ? Nahi na janta hun nahi socha hoga .

Gaumbi watched me lost once again as I processed his questions coming towards me slowly .

And again with a small pause he again proceeded with another shock for me .

"Raavi tuja ek aur sach batau vese toh mujha nahi pata tuja batani chahiya yeh baat ya nahi per yeh zaroori sa ho gaya hai isliya bata raha hun ..
tu use iss baat ke liya blame karti aai hai na ki voh tujha us raat gundo ke beech akele chod aaya tha haina ? Per yeh sach nahi hai raavi .
Tune usse itna bhala bura kaha phir bhi usne ek baar bhi palat kar yeh nahi kaha ki nahi raavi yeh sach nahi hai bas chup chap teri kahi har baat sunta raha .
Dil tuta tha uska bhi us din jab tune use yeh sab kaha . Dekha tha uska chehra maine .
Uski aankhein sab bayaan de rahi thi that how hurt he felt when u said those words for him .
But he controlled himself as always. He hided his emotions this time too . Uska haq banta tha tujha yeh sach batana per phir bhi chup raha aur abhi tak hai .
Per usne nahi kaha toh kya hua aaj us sach per se parda main hatana chahta hun .
Sach yeh hai raavi ki shiva ne us raat tujha akele gundo ke beech nahi choda tha balki tuja bachane main laga hua tha ."

Kya Shiva mujha bacha raha tha gundo se ? Per maine usse khud vaha se jata hua dekha tha bhar .
Apko kaisa pata gaumbi ki shiva ne mujha bachaya hai na ki akele choda hai ? I asked gaumbi all shocked listening him .

Gaumbi continued saying :
" haan raavi shiva ne tujha bachaya hai , bhale hi time use bhar jate hua dekha hoga per tuja adha sach pata hai .
Main ,Krish aur dev late pahunche the vaha .aur tujhe bhanda dekh hum shiva ko bhi dhund rahe the .
Jaisa hi tujhe khola dev ne vese hi shiva waha aa gaya aur tu palak jhapakte hi tu shiva ke pass jatte hi uske bahoon main behosh ho gai . Phir hum sabne gundo se ladai ki aur bhar aa gaye tab hamne shiva se bhi yahi sawal kiya ki tu kaha tha aur tu akeli kyu thi waha ?

Tab usne bataya ki :

***Flashback ***

Background music 🎶 started playing..

Shiva : isse main abhi nahi khol sakta . Isse pehle ki hum dono phir se pakde jaayen aur yeh bhi khatre main padh jaaye mujha inn sabhi gundon se nipatna hoga .
Phir isse yaha se sahi salamat leke jaunga warna yeh bhi ghabra jayegi aur isse handle karna mera liya mushkil ho jayega .

*** Flashback ends***

'Hum sab hairaan nahi the ki shiva ne apni jaan pe khel ke tujha bachaya , hum khush the ki iss rishte ki mariyada voh janta hai .
Janta hai ki tujha bachana uska farz hai . Jabki voh tujha pasand nahi karta tha per phir bhi apne farz aur rishton ke aage voh dushmani kya nafrat kya kuch nahi dekhta .
Dekhta hai toh bas ki uss insaan ko uski kitni zarurat hai aur usse in sab se kaisa bhar lana hai sahi salamat . Aur usne voh farz puri tarah se dil se nibhaya hai aur aage bhi nibhata rahega .
Usse iss cheez se farak nahi padhta ki duniya uske bare main kya sochti hai nah usne kabhi parwah ki in saab cheezo ki .
Per usse is baat se farak padhta hai ki uski family uske bare main kya sochti hai ,uski biwi kya sochti hai . Bhale hi voh jatata nahi hai per dil hi dil main use teri parwah hai ,teri fikar hai .
Tu maan ya na maan voh tera liya puri duniya se ladh jayega agar use mauka mila toh .

**Background music 🎶 ends **

Background music 🎵🎶 started playing...🦋🦋

Lost in my thoughts process I started speaking to gaumbi about shiva what I think about him .

" Pata nahi gaumbi , bas mujha itna pata hai ki rishte ke naate toh voh mera pati hai, voh mera woh sach hai jisse main chah kar bhi nahi Jhukla sakti .
Aur nah hi bhaga jaa sakta hai is kadwe sach se .
Ab toh maine wakt ke sath iss sach ko apna liya hai , apni taqdeer mein is sach ko likh chuki hain.
Ek sach toh yeh bhi hai na gaumbi ki mujha sach main nahi maaloom ki shiva mera kya lagta hai..
sach kehte hai log ki sach chupaye nahi chupta aur nah hi jhooti zindagi ke sahre jiya jaa sakta hai ."

"Apko pata hai jab usse chot lagti hai na toh dard , takleef mujhe bhi hoti hai.
pata nhi kyun ander se ek chubhan si hoti hai ki kyun usse chot lagi . Uske yun mujha har baar chod kar jane per bura lagta hai .
Baat karte bhi hain toh har wakt ladai main . Jab bhi voh muja bolta hai ki voh mujhse nafrat karta hai mera dil ek dum se dhak se reh jata hai .
Esa lagta hai yeh sun kar jaisa kuch tut sa gaya ho ander se ."

"Gaumbi apko pata hai dhara di aur apke liya shiva ka atoot aur nishchal prem aur respect dekh kar mujha sabse zada khushi hoti hai .
Aap dono ke sath uska itna khaas lagav aur gehra rishta lagta hai .
Ek pal ko dekh kar toh esa lagta hai ki yeh shiva voh shiva hai hi nahi jo mujhse har pal ladhta hai 🥺🥺..
Aap dono se shayad hi koi itna pyar koi nahi karta hoga jitna shiva karta hai ."

"Uske behaviour ne kabhi mujha hairaan nahi kiya kiya ,kyuki voh hamesha se shiva hai sirf shiva .
Voh hamesha se hi alag tarah se pesh aata raha hai mujhse aur agar koi bilkul opposite behave karne lage apne usual behaviour se toh voh shiva toh bilkul bhi nahi hoga ."

"Uski achai aur sachai dono hi sirf aur sirf uske apno ke liya hai joh voh hamesha se hi apne ander chupa ke rakhta hai .
Per mera bhi ek sawal main kaun hun uske liya gaumbi? Kya main uski apni nahi hun ?
Lagti bhi hun kuch uski ya nahi pata nahi ?
Mana hamari shadi ek esa mukaam per hui hai jaha na voh mujha pasand karta tha na main per uske baad toh main uski kuch toh lagti hongi na ? "

"Shadi se pehle uska aur mera rishta maasimaa se tha , wahi maasimaa jisse voh behad nafrat karta hai.
Aur ab ?
Uske chalte usne hamasha mujhse dushmani nibhai hai. Sirf aur sirf dushmani aur nafrat ."

"Us din jab hum mandir jaa rahe the tab gundon ne shiva per humla kiya uske sir per chot lag gai thi tab voh behosh ho gaya tha tab main bhut dar gai thi esa lag raha tha jaisa agar usse kuch ho gaya toh main mar jaungi.
per phir un gundon ne hume pakad liya tha aur jab main samne seat se takrane wali thi usne mujhe bacha liya phir hame waha sunsaan si jagh per baandh diya, sab thik chal raha tha voh Azad ho gaya tha per muja bachane ke bajaye voh mujha chod ke bhar chala gaya tha tab muja yakeen hua ki voh mujhse itni shidaat se nafrat karta hai ki mujha akele chod ke bhi jaa sakta hai gundo ke beech main .
Gaumbi muja yahi lagta raha us din se leke aaj tak ki voh sach main chod ke gaya muja akele per jab aapne aaj sach bataya toh mera usko leke pura perspective hi change ho gaya hai.
Dil kehta rehta tha ki voh esa nahi kar sakta tune kuch galt dekh liya hai tune usse misunderstood kiya hai per phir dimag dil per havi ho jata tha aur dimag jeet jaata tha aur dil haar jata tha.
Issi kashmkash main maine shiva ko kitna bura bhala kaha us din, use kitni chot pahonchai shabdon ke un zanzeero se .
Voh bhut acha insaan hai gaumbi jitna galat main usse samajhti thi uska opposite hai voh ."

"Per gaumbi shiva jaisa bhi hai shiva hai ,dhara di ka shiva.

Usne mujha bachpan se leke ab tak kitna kuch kaha ,sunaya aur sataya bhi per kabhi mera sath batameezi nahi ki aur kabhi bhi musibat main akele nahi choda.
Shadi walee din bhi voh mera haq ke liya ladh raha tha sabse ."

"Main galti karne jaa rahi thi anjaane main hi sahi per usne mujhe galti karne se pehle hi rok liya .
Yeh sab jab sochti hun toh ek pal ke liya lagta hai ki voh esa khudgarz aur bura insaan nahi hai jitna voh sabko dikhane ki koshish karta hai.

Dekha jaaye toh hum dono ke dusre ki achai aur burai sabse zada ache se jante hain .
Per shayad kabhi samjh hi nahi paye ya samjhana hi nahi chahte .
Yeh naya rishta jhadne se jaisa aur ulajh ke reh gaya hai pehle se uljha hua rishta ko aur bhi complicated kar diya hai.
Hum dushman hi thik the gaumbi . Kam se kam usme pata toh tha hum dono ka rishta kis basis per hai,nafrat ka hai ya dushmani ka yeh rishta constant tha per ab complicated ho gaya hai .
Ab hame pata hi nahi hai ab dushmani aur nafrat hai bhi ya nahi ki bas khud ko dilasa dene ke liya ek dusre ko kehte rehte hai I hate you ,I hate you 🤧🤧😭😪.."

I stopped speaking my last wirpool of emotions from mind and heart ❤️💛..

Background music 🎶🎼 started playing

After listening me calmly gaumbi started making me Understand and may be giving me the answer of what I am now afraid acknowledge it .
May be the answers of my delimma is within me but I don't want to accept it .

"Toh phir ussi dushman ke sath aage badh na.
Uss dorahe per kadhi hoker kisi aur ke aane ka intezaar kyu karna hai. Kisi aur ka intezaar mat kar raavi.
Ussi dushman ka haath thaam aur aage badhne ki ek koshish toh kar . Kya pata wahi ek koshish tujha kisi ache sukoon bhare safar per le jaaye.
Ussi dushman ke sath mil kar chun le apne liya ek naya rishta.
Wahi rasta jis raste ko chunne ke liya tuja itni mehnat karni padh rahi hai."

I looked at gaumbi perflexed ,amused what not . I am at short of words to describe my astonishment at his statement.
He patted his lap indicating me to lay down on his lap which I obeyed immediately.
He started patting my hair gently which was giving me peace and soothing to my heart 💜..

With that he spoke again :
" Jaisa ki tune kaha tum dono ek dusre ko ,ek dusre se behtar jante ho.
Toh phir itna dur kyu bhagte ho ek dusre se ? Kyu apni duriyo ko mitane ki ek koshish nahi karte ?
Kyu koshish nahi karte ek dusre ko samajhne ki ?
Esa kya hai jo tum dono ko sab kuch theek karne se rokta hai ?
Kabhi socha hai?
Nahi na toh ab socho .
Kya iss ehsaas ko tum dono ne jaane ki koshish ki ?
Teri iss zindagi mein shiva tera liya ek alag hi ehmiyat rakhta hai raavi , yeh baat usse lekar teri duvidha,asmanjas ya kuch bhi hai se pata chalta hai.
Yeh zaruri nahi voh ehmiyat pyar ki hi ho .
Tum dono jaisa bhi hi ek dusre ke liya pure ho, kaafi ho .
Aur pata nahi tum dono ne yeh baat notice bhi ki hai ki nahi ki tum dono ke ek dusre per pura bharosa hai bhale hi dikhate nahi ho per aankhon mein dikhta hai.
Tum dono ek dusre ki puri izzat karte ho bhale hi apne tareeka se karte ho izzat per karte toh ho na .
Chahe phir voh dusro ke liya voh kuch aur hai per tum dono jo dikhate ho voh tumhare language main ek dusre ki izzat hai .
Ek dusre ki tum parwah karte ho jo dikha kar bhi nahi bhar jhalakne dete taki kisi ko pata nah chal jaye specially ek dusre ko .
Voh jo ehmiyat hai na voh sirf pyar ki hi nahi balki dosti ki , parwah ki ,dard ki , aur apnepan ki bhi ho sakti hai .
Parwah , bharosa,izzat ,apnapan sab toh hai tumhare is rishte main , ek rishte main do logo ko wahi toh chahiya hota hai aur zarurat padhne per kaam bhi wahi aata hai ek wakt per dono ki life main .
Aur yahi jodta hai ek doosre ko ek sache khate meetha Pati patni ke rishte ko.
Yahi sab baatein pati patni ke rishte ko bhi mazboot karta ya banata hai.
Raavi tumhara aur shiva ka rishta bahut pehle se hi juda hua hai ek kacche dhaage main ab toh bas uss dhaage ko mazboot karna baki reh gaya hai.
Aur isse rishton ka dhaaga kaho ya ek dusre ko saat janmon tak jode rakhne ka yeh ek insaan ka kaam nahi hai bandhkar aur mazboot rakhne aur bana ne ka .
Yeh do tarfa hota hai , yeh kaam dono ka hota hai . Yeh koi akela nahi kar sakta .
Koshish karo ki is dor ko tum dono mil kar mazboot karo . Aur main ache se janta hun tum dono yeh kar sakte ho .
Tum dono main ek din pyar hoga aur itna gehra hoga ki koi teesra isme kuch nahi kar payega .
Isliya sirf vishwas aur izzat se ya parwah dikhane se yeh rishta mazboot nahi hoga .
Voh sab kuch khulkar dil se dikhana hoga , Aamna samna karna padega har situation ka sath mil kar .
Ek dusre ke sawalo ke jawab khulkar dene honga .
Bina baat kare in uljhanon ko suljha nahi paaoga .
Har shikayat,har shikhwa ko bayaan karni padegi , har narazgi ko pyar ke bandhan se mitana hoga .
Har ek pathrila manzar ko aapas ki soojh boojh se paar karna hoga .
Ek dusre ko ehsaas dilana hoga ki tum dono ek dusre ke sath har modh par , ek dusre ki dhal ban kar khade ho , har haal main chahe voh dukh ho, sukh ho, khushi ho, gam ho , dard ko ,takleef ho ya kuch bhi aaye per sath ho ek dusre ke kandhe se khandha mila kar .
Yeh ehsaas dilana bhut zaruri hai tum dono ke liya , yaad rakhna dono ke liya hai . Pehle khud ko yakeen dilao phir apne partner ko .
Bina uske yeh rishta ek kacche dhaage main hi bandh kar reh jayega aur wakt,wakt ki chot lagi toh toot kar bikhar bhi sakta hai.
Jisse na tu sambhal paayegi ,nah shiva aur nah hi hum .
Hum toh bas tum dono ko rah dikha sakte hai, samjha sakte hai ,tum dono ki help kar sakte hai paas lane main per us per Amal karna tum dono ka kaam hai , us rah per chal kar dono ko sambhalna aur samajhna tum dono ka hai ."

With a small pause for a fraction of minutes gaumbi looked at me as i was looking at him deeply at if I want to decipher everything now itself 🤭..
I know jo bhi aaj gaumbi ne mujha samjhaya use samajhne main thoda wakt toh lage ga hi .. kehte hai na rishte wakt ke sath bante hai toh is rishte ko hame kabhi na samjha na wakt dene ki koshish ki ek dusre ko toh ab wakt aa gaya hai shayad us baat per Amal karne ka .. I know can I will do it and win for sure .

Goumbi thought for a moment may be what else he can make me understand so that our equation gets better soon.

Background music started playing

He said what I didn't expect to even come up now :
" Tujha pata hai raavi tera aur shiva ke bikharte rishte ko dekh kar humne shiva se tera aur uske divorce ka bare main baat ki thi .
Aur janti hai usne kya kaha ,kaha ki yeh faisla uske akele ka nahi ho sakta , yeh rishta uska bhi hai .
Jitna haq uska hai utna hi tera , bhale hi shadi majboori main hui ho per hui toh hai na , biwi toh Hai na toh main is rishte ko khatam karne ka faisla akele kaisa ke lu .
Usne uska faisla tujh per chod diya tha . Kaha ki isme mera tera kuch nahi hai .
Agar voh mujha chod kar apni nayi zindagi chahti hai toh bhi main uske sath hun aur agar is rishte main rehna chahti hai khud se toh bhi main uske us faisla main sath hun .
Main uske har ek decision mein sath khada hun . Muja uske liya gaye kisi bhi faisla se aitraaz nahi hoga .
Main sirf uski khushi chahta hun . Aur agar Voh hum sab se dur reh kar akele khush rehti hai toh main use selfish hoker nahi rokunga .
Mera liya sabse pehle uski khushiyan maayene rakhti hai gaumbi .
Maana ki main har wakt use ladhta hun , pareshan karta hun , ajeeb se names se bulata hun per uski khushi , narazgi aur gussa ,chidhna dekhne ke liya .
Muja use pareshan karne main maza aata hai per dard nahi .
Toh jo voh chahegi wahi hoga . Voh muha galt chahe sari umar samjhe per uski khushi zada maayene rakhti hai mera liya ."

I got so numb listening this from gaumbi that shiva ke dil main mera liya itni respect hai ki usne mera har faisla per sath dena ka bare main kaha .
Maine usse kitna galt samjha hai aaj tak aur maine kya kiya I have judged him so quickly.
Ek minute nahi lagaya maine use galt samajhne main aur usne mujha kabhi galt nahi samjha .
Usme hamesha mujha samjha hai bhale hi dikhata nahi hai per aaj uske baare main itna kuch sunne ke baad I am just wondering ki main usse face kaise karungi itna kuch jaan liya uske baare main ki ab mera pass shabd hi nahi kehne ke liya .
Kya main aur Mera feelings meri khushiya itni maayene rakhti hai uske liya ?
Yeh maine kabhi bhi apne sapne main bhi nahi socha tha .

I was so lost In my thoughts that when gaumbi spoke I came out of it .

Background music ends

Background music started playing

He said :
" Voh uska pehle kadam tha raavi is rishte ko bachane ki taraf , teri taraf .
Teri raaye , teri manzuri, tu kya sochti hai , tu kya chahti hai , kya nahi sab maayene rakhti hai uske liya .
Aur dekh tune bhi uska vishwas tutne nahi diya dil hi dil nain voh bhi chahta tha tu divorce ke liya mana kar de .
Aur tune bhi is rishte main rehne ka faisla kar ke uska vishwas ko aur paka kar diya .
Tune bhi ek kadam aage badhaya hai uske sath reh kar ."

Tujha ek aur baat batau ki aaj maine kya dekha :

I said kya dekha ?

He spoke:
" ab har wakt ,har jagah ,tere aas pass toh nahi hoga shiva tera , main nahi janta kya hua aaj per aaj phir shiva ne teri ore dusra kadam badaya hai .
Teri chot per marham laga kar, tera haal puch kar maine sab dekha kaisa voh teri fikar kar raha tha , tera aansu ponch raha tha .
Aur phir kuch baat hui tum dono main aur tu uth ker yaha chali aayi rote hua .
Ab tuja uski taraf dusra kadam badhana hoga jaisa usne Aaj kiya teri taraf .
Phir dekhna voh khud tujhse milne aayega , baat karne ki puri koshish voh bhi karega .
Muja mera shiva per pura bharosa hai ."

I stared at gaumbi and just nodded absent-mindedly as there were lot of things which I and shiva least saw it . And may be I never tried to see the brighter side of shiva as I always saw his devil side only in his good also I blamed his devilishness.

Background music ends

Gaumbi continued saying :
" Dev tere liya kya tha voh ab tujha khud samajh main aa gaya hai .
Ab tujha samajhna hoga shiva tera liya kya maayene rakhta hai?
Tu is rishte ko kya naam degi ? Yeh sab tujha dekhna padega aur akele hi samajhna hoga phir hi tu shiva ko samjha payegi na is rishte ka mol.
Aur tu usse kaisa chahti hai apne jeevan ki raah main ?
Yeh sabhi sawali ke jawab tujha khud dhundna honga ."

Background music started playing

"Voh tab milaga jab tu raavi ban kar sochegi na ki shiva ki biwi ban kar, Pandya pariwar ki bahu ban kar .
Ya phir jo tu yeh har wakt udas rehti hai vese ban kar bhi tuja tere sawalo ke jawab nahi milanga .
Tujha wahi purani wali raavi ban kar sochna hoga sawalo ke jawabo ko dhundna hoga . Jo tu Shiva se shadi karne se pehle thi happy , cheerfull, healthy, bubbly , chirpy just like a butterfly 🦋🦋.
Wahi raavi ban kar jo har wakt khush rehti thi , hasti rehti thi , masti karti thi sab ke sath .
Jo choti choti cheezo main chote chote moments main bhi khushiya dhund leti thi . Khush rehne ke bahane dhunda karti thi .
Wahi raavi jisse yeh sara pandya pariwar pyar karta hai miss karta hai aaj bhi . Voh raavi kahi kho gai hai . Please dhundo uss raavi ko apne liya ,unke liya jo tumhe tumse zada pyar karte hai .
Voh pyari si muskaan , hasi jo pandya pariwar ke liya ek geet ki tarah hai aur shiva ke language main kaho toh uske liya shor ho sakta hai 😝🤗😂😂..
Main us raavi ki baat kar raha hun jiska maksad sirf has har jeena tha .
Jo khushiyo ko har pal mehsoos karti thi apne ander .
The raavi who used to worship life and happiness.
Tuja wahi raavi ban kar sochna hai aur tera sare sawalon ke jawab tera samne ek khuli kitab ki tarah hazir ho jayenga dekhna .
Aur pata hai main kya manta hun ki hamari raavi toh esi thi ki apni raah khud chunti thi , har raah banti thi chahe koi kitni bhi kathin pareeksha le uski .
Voh raavi kabhi zindagi se haar nahin manti thi thi . Voh raavi toh chataan ki tarah day kar khadi rehti thi ."

" Aaj dekh khud ko kitna hara hua mehsoos kar rahi hai , bechari , bebas aur pata nahi kya kya maan rahi hai.
Aur dekh na teri kismat bhi tujha esa dekh kar tujh per has rahi hogi ki dekho yeh ladki kitni jaldi apni life se haar maan kar baith gai hai .
You have to prove ur destiny wrong , you have to tell her that you have cane out of it more stronger than before and you will find yourself once again and about raah you will choose yourself only ."

Gaumbi finished speaking and I was looking at him continuously with wide eyes and got up instantly and thought ki gaumbi mera bare main kitne ache se jante hai itna toh main bhi khud ko nahi jaan pai jitna ache se gaumbi ne muja mera bare main bataya hai ..
I am so lucky to have him and whole Pandya pariwar in my life . I love them moon and back to the square of infinity.

After that gaumbi to got up and kissed my forehead lovingly and I smiled at him genuinely this time and hugged him tight .

After the longggggggg emotional and full of understanding conversation between both of us we went to our respective rooms .

Finally I was feeling soo light and full of joy like I was before .
Now I am just feeling like a free bird who wants fly high and dance on the tunes of music 🎶..
Now I am going to cherish my life again but this time with my shiva . I am sure he will be the best picture perfect partner of my filmy life 🤭🌹..

PAGLE SARA KA SARA NA KARNA ABHI SE
AASAN KISTON MAIN TU PYAR KAR

I entered our room and I stared at the sleeping form of shiva remembering whatever gaumbi said .
I remembered our childhood. How we always fought with each other and we always stand for each other in needs , in every possible problems.
We never let others to troubleshoot each other. We never gave that right to others may be that's why we fought in each other's defence.
We may call each other with many weird names or say anything but we never let others to do the same .
We never realised our bond was so pure and perfect that in this materialistic world we two are eachother's imperfectly perfect together.
We understand each other,we tease ,we fight,we even laugh secretly , we made so many moments together all these years but we never realised what bond we have .
Even when I was to get married to dev all the wedding rituals we did together insted of dev and me how ironic na .
Even ring ceremony was also done with him before the official one with dev.
We have much bigger trust on each other beside we fight million times with eachother than what Rishita claim that she loves dev more than her life but she lacks utmost trust in him and his love for her . Voh pyar hi kaisa jaha trust hi na ho rishte main ek dusre per .
Even on wedding day he understood me and saved me so many times .
I feel so lucky to have him in my life .
I have never realised his importance in my life. I am happy that I married shiva that day not dev .
Jitna haq se main shiva ko bolti hun , pareshan karti hun shayad utna haq se dev ko bhi nahi bola ya baat ki .
I have a special bond with shiva and his presence creates different type of havoc in my senses always which I never felt with dev being claimed to be in love with him .
But but to honest now I don't love dev okay .

Background music started playing

Surprisingly, now I realised that we have always been aware of each other and around each other.
I know shiva my Bhoothnath much more than I know dev .
I got to know from krishu my best buddy my partner in crime that how shiva warned dev about my madness ..
He has always stood up like a rock for what is right and wrong . He always tried to do justice with every member of the family . Never let anyone feel out loone with everybody.
He always did what he feels and believes is right in his eyes .
From his actions I always felt that he had already accepted our marriage,our new found relationship.
But but he never showed anyone in particular.
He even forwarded himself towards this relationship two step but nevertheless I didn't acknowledged it .

Now it is my time to match my steps with him. Walk beside him just the way I had been doing it since our childhood .
I had already made a fool out of myself a lot now by just running behind a wrong relationship and a childish idea of running behind the love which was never hers .

Now I only want to trade those featherly deep waters of oceans carefully and slowly with no hurry in mind.
There may be love or not but I will have and want a companion and will definitely find a better companion in shiva that will stand tall with me always in my thick and thin like a hard rock.

Now I am so excited to cherish every bit of my life with my shiva ,my Bhoothnath, my friend,and one and only my husband.

I want to fight ,laugh ,smile , tease ,play and lay down on his lap and talk for hours and sleep in his embrace keeping my head on his chest where his heart beats for me and his family and want to listen his music his heartbeat 💓.

May whatever suprises our fate bring at us , whatever planned by the god of fate we will face it together with our bond and love .
With him even bittersweet things could become sweet nothing's to my ears and ofcourse interesting even more 😉.

When I came out of my happy cheerfull healthy thoughts I enshroud shiva with the quilt.
Then only I saw a very beautiful diary in his arms securily holding it as if his whole life is dependent on it ..

I thought I have never seen this diary with him then today this diary . Where is it came from ? There were so many questions about it but then I shrugged them off ..

I took that beautiful diary with utmost care from his arms without any noise so that he couldn't get awake .

I was so curious to know what is there in that diary that he never let anyone know that he does diary entry.
I know I know kisi ki diary esa hi bina pucha nahi padhte per shiva ki toh padh sakti hun na , pati hai voh mera aur Biwi hun uski , itna toh haq mera us per . Phir konsa usko pata chalega ki maine uski personal diary padhi hai jaisa li thi vaisa hi vapis rakh dungi .

When I opened it what I saw shocked me to the core .
I can't believe I saw beautifully handwritten shayaries on it .
Mana na padega iski handwriting bhut sunder hai .

I Started flipping the pages slowly and we're getting drowned in them . They were so deep and beautiful that whosoever will read that person will loose his her heart to these shayari and the man who wrote them .
Uff I am so lucky yeh shayari likhne wala mera pati hai koi aur nahi . Aur toh aur I am the first one to read them eeee 😁😁.

I am just falling in love with him and this each passing minutes.

While flipping some pages I caught red rose 🌹 in it kept as a book mark .
The shayri on that page was written as I read it took my heart away ❤️❤️ ..

Background music started playing

That secret diary of this mysterious man of mine was so beautiful and templating that was forcing me to have a look inside it .

When I opened the book the pages were so pretty that it looked like it was hand printed.

Then I looked at the table I found so many things around .
Flowers, books, calligraphy pens , inks and much more .
It was a great suprise for me to look at the things around him.

The ink pots were also so beautiful and unique.
Mana padega ki mere pati ki choices bhut unique aur beautiful hain .
There were not one ink pots and pens but four that too different.

Every bit of what I found was so outstanding that I couldn't take off my eyes from them.

SHAYARI BY SHIVA :

🦋🦋🦋🦋

" AATI TOH VOH MERA KANDHE TAK BHI NAHI
CHADHI VOH MERE SAR PAR REHTI HAI
TUM NAH BHI KARO BAAT HAMSE
AANKHEIN TUMHARI SAB KEHTI HAIN
SAADE DIL DI DHADKAN,
OH DHADKAN TERI HAI
USS DHADKAN DI KASAM,
TU ZINDAGI MERI HAI
SAADI HAR SAAH WICH
EH SAAH TERI HAI
AUR VOH RUK JAAYE
TOH MAUT MERI HAI ,
MAUT MERI HAI
MAUT MERI HAI..."

🦋🦋🦋🦋

"EK LADKI JO MUJHA
MUJHSE BEHTAR JANTI HAIN,
JAB HAR KOI MERI
MUSKURAHAT DEKHTA HAIN NA
WOH MERI KHAMOSHI KO
PEHCHANTI HAIN,
JAB MAIN TUT KE BIKHAR JATA HUN
WOH AKELI MUJHA
SAMBHALTI HAIN,
HAAN EK LADKI HAIN
JO MUJHA MUJHSE
BEHTAR JANTI HAIN..."

🍷🍷🍷🍷

"AGAR BADALON MAIN CHUPE CHAAND KA DIDAR HO JATA
TOH ROSHAN HAMARA BHI
AASMAAN HO JATA,
AANKHON HI AANKHON MAIN
KUCH AAGAZ TOH HUA THA
AGAR CHEHRA DEKH LETE TOH
SHAYAD PYAR HO JATA.."

🌹🌹🌹🌹

"SAMAI HO TUM KUCH
ISS QADAR MERE NASS NASS MAIN
TUMHE BHUL JAUN
HAI KAHAN YEH AB
MERE BAS MAIN ..."

💖💖💖💖

"TUMHARE NAH HOKAR BHI HONE
KE EHSAAS KE ALAAV PER
SEK LETA HUN MAIN APNI
HATHELIYAN AUR CHOO LETA HUN
UNSE APNE THANDE GAALON KO
YEH JAANKER KI TUMNE HI
CHUA HAI INHE ANJANE MAIN KABHI..!"

🥀🥀🥀🥀

"SARD MAUSAM KI TANHA
KAMPKAPATI RAATON MAIN,
EK ANSUNA SA MERE BHITAR
KUCH SHOR BAHUT KARTA HAIN
JAB CHOO KE GUZARTI HAI YEH
HAWAYEIN MERE GALE KO
JAB OOS KI BOONDEIN THER
JATI HAIN MERE HOTHON PER KISI
MOTI KI TARAH..."

❄️❄️❄️❄️

"RAAT KE VOH PEHER GUZARKAR BHI
GUZARTE NAHIN HAIN|
AUR PHIR TUMHARI YAADON KI
BHULBHULAIYA MAIN KHOKAR
SUBAH HO JATI HAI|
PER MUJHA INTEZAAR HAI USS SUBAH KA
JO EK ROZ TUMHE
APNE SAATH LEKER AAYE|
TUMSE YEH MEELON KI YEH DOORIYAN NAH JAANE KYUN
AB SAZA SI LAGTI HAIN ..."

💜💜💜💜

"JAB RAAT KO VOH PEHER
MEHSOOS KARATA HAI MERE
ZEHEN MAIN TERI MAUJUDGI
TAB MAIN ,
MAIN NAHIN REHTA
MEIN GHUL JATA HUN TUM MAIN KAHIN,
SARDI KI THITHURAN PER
TUMHARI GARM YAADON KA
KAMBAL AKSAR HI
LAPET LIYA KARTA HUN MAIN.."

💞💞💞💞

WAFA KE RANG!

"WAFA KE RANG MEIN,
DOOBI HAI HAR SHAAM
TERE LIYA,
YEH DAGAR, YEH NAGAR,
MERA NAAM SAB TERE LIYA
TU MEHAKTI RAHE
CHAANDNI RAATON
KI TARAH,
ISS NAYE RISHTEY KA
PAIGAAM TERE LIYA
TERE LIYA..."

💛💛💛💛

"KABHI KABHI
JAZBAATON KO
KUCH ALFAAZON MSIN
BAYAAN KAR PANA
KITNA MUSHKIL HO
JATA HAI,
UNHE KHAMOSHI
SAMAJH NAHIN AATI
HAMARI,
AUR HAMARE LIYA
HAR EHSAAS KO
LAFZOON MAIN
SAMJHANA BEHADD
MUSHKIL HO JATA HAI,
KABHI FURSAT
MILA TOH PADHNA
MERI ISS KHAMOSHI KO,
SHAYAD SAMAJH JAO
KI YEH KAMBAKHT DIL
TUMHE KITNA CHAHTA HAI..!"

💟💟💟💟

"YEH ZINDAGI BAHUT LAMBI HAI
AUR HAMARE PASS
WAKT BAHUT KAM
ISS ZINDAGI KE NAYE PURANE
SAFAR MEIN TUMHARE
SAATH CHALNA CHAHTA HUN..
ZADA NAHIN SIRF CHAAR KADAM..
KYA TUM MERA SAATH
CHALNA CHAHOGI
YEH CHAAR KADAM
SAARI ZINDAGI...?"

🦋🦋🦋🦋

After reading all of them I was spellbound.. Main isme itna kho gai thi ki esa lag raha tha ki main ek khoobsurat se safar per hun.
Esa feel ho raha tha jaisa main ek Shayar ki duniya ka hissaa hun. Voh hissa jo sirf mera liya hai.
Main isme likhi gai har shayari ke pichhe chipe ehsaas ko bahut gehrai se mehsoos kar paa rahi hun .
Uska har ek shabd kuch kahani darsha raha tha.
Yeh itna magical Safar tha ki bahar aane ki iccha nahi thi.
Yeh ehsaas kuch naaye se the.
Shayaad pyar ke ..
Inn shayariyo main kuch esa magic tha jo kabhi muja kisi ke sath feel nahi hua ..
Yeh asar toh sirf shiva ke sath hota hai yeh maine ab jana hai ..
Esa kabhi nahi chaha maine jo aaj chaha ki yeh pal yun hi ther jaaye aur uski subah kabhi nah ho aur main shiva ko aur unn shayari ki galiyon main ghulti rahun .

Phir achanak se meri tandra tuti toh dekha shiva ne muja apni baahon main ghera hua hai aur sukoon ki neend main hai ..
Ek pal ko toh main dar hi gai thi ki kahi shiva uth na gaya ho aur agar usne dekh liya ki uski cheezo ko maine dekh liya hai jo shayad voh bhul gaya chupa kar rakhna toh bhut ladega mujhse per voh so raha tha.
Mujha thodi rahat mili toh maine uski diary wahi table per rakh di .

Jab main change karne jane wali thi tab maine dekha ki waha kuch pada hai
Aur jo maine dekha toh meri saanein wahi than gai ..

Maine kabhi socha bhi nahi tha ki shiva ek bada artist aur poet bhi ho sakta hai..
Voh itna talented hai ki koi usse hara nahi sakta ..
Bhale hi usne hum sab se apne talent ko chupa ke rakha hai per muja yakeen hai voh ek din mujha bhi apni iss duniya ka hissa banayega .. Muja uss din ka intezaar rahega ..

It was a beautiful sketch of mine and I so loved it that I quickly took a picture of it .
Before I keep the portrait of mine I saw a name over it which was written in bold letters " MERI PYARI CHIPKALI ❤️" with a heart beside it .

And then I saw a painting of mine which was so beautiful and mesmerizing..

In this life size painting I saw a name to I read it again "MERI CHIPKALI KI BEAUTY 👑❤️" it was written with a cute heart and a crown . It was looking so cute .

I just couldn't take my eyes off it .. it was looking surreal ..
Looking at them I felt on cloud nine that I can be someone's number one in his life and can look this beautiful.
May be I praise myself all the time saying main sommnath ki sabse sunder ladki hun per aaj sach main yeh dekh kar lag raha hai main kisi ke liya nahi Balki shiva ke liya special hun..
Mujha yeh sab dekh kar bahut acha laga .

Background music started playing on loop..

Then I quickly went to change and came out . But sleep was far away grm my sight .
It was very beautiful night for me ..

Finally the new journey towards love for them have surely started..

THE END

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND TIME ..

I HOPE YOU ALL WILL ENJOY THIS BOOK I KNOW ITS A VERY LONG UPDATE BUT FIR ONCE TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME IN A DAY AND READ IT ..

WOULD LOVE REAS UR VIEWS ON THIS BOOK..

SHOW UR LOVE ..

READ, VOTE, COMMENTS AND OFCOURSE DON'T FORGET TO PUSH STAR BUTTON TO CAST UR VOTE ..

Anagha1205DwivediiMagguDhingraspellboundsatchelTheThinkersMindMehakbhambriMehek_Malhotra90_VivpriVartikasCreationspriyapariyaarPayalGupta2001ayexnabnidhi_kini_5thecomrademiraclesAkankshaKalia

Yours

~•Dear diary •~

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