I'm groggy, everything in my vision is smudged and I have no intention of waking up. Stupid nightmares. 

My hair's starting to grow back after I cut it at Vista Alam Motel. I tried to use it as a sleeping mask covering my eyes so I can get back to sleep. Didn't work.

I shield my vision from the morning rays coming through the window. With a prolonged groan, I leave my room. The first thing I see is a silhouette with long braids and dark skin. It sounds like it's chewing something.

"Mornin' pretty boy," the silhouette greets with a full mouth as it emerges from the end of the hall's darkness.

"You know my name's Casey, right?"

"Ah, right," she fake slaps her forehead, "I forgot. Thanks for reminding." She laughs and bumps my shoulder on her way past. I flip her off and she takes it in jest. That was partially my intention with that gesture.

That's Ramya alright. A much ruder version of Harmony. Speaking of, I wave to Harmony in her room when I walk by. She waves back with a smile. Thank God she's alive.

I go down the stairs, thinking of my family as usual. How they're probably missing me. Can Cassandra even focus on her studies right now? How would Ibu feel with her only other child running away? These thoughts race through my mind.

I almost lost Harmony. The nightmares I had last night teased me with images of her half-dead. She was struggling to even breathe. Blood leaked out of her mouth. She was calling my name over and over and over again, so fragile and weak.

Kiah made an appearance in those nightmares too. Her possessed form was horrifying. That horn, that skin... I don't think I'll ever see Kiah in a situation more petrifyi–

...

Makira's in between Kiah's legs, who in turn is sitting on top of Makira's table. They're frenching. And moaning. Loud.

I clear my throat. They stop embracing at practically light speed and do up some of their loose shirt buttons. Makira's at least a dozen feet away now from her lover. They're both standing awkwardly, trying to figure where to put their hands apart from on each other. 

"Case, it's not what it looks like–"

Oh it's exactly what it looks like. "You know what? I'll just excuse myself." 

I go up the stairs, wanting to douse my eyes and ears with sulfuric acid.

>>

I give Kiah a look. She gives me one back. I let out a small giggle at our predicament.

"If he didn't interrupt us, maybe I'd go on forever." 

Her pretty face stays red at my flirting. The euphoria rushing into my body was a feeling I'll never forget. Her moaning was music to my ears and her body was like holding onto velvet. 

Her body... I couldn't stop caressing it. The shape and softness of her breasts and her ass made it difficult for my hands to peel away. This excitement has been foreign to me for the longest time.

She fixes up her shirt and re-ties her hair. Both have been made messy by our overwhelming intimacy.

"Um... y'know, thanks... by the way. I liked it."

"Thanks?" I tease. "I should be thanking you. You're a great kisser."

Kiah gives me a half-smile back. By the stars, she's beautiful. Her bright blue eyes are like an ocean I want to get lost in for eternity. Maybe, just maybe, I've found my one and only.

I put my hand on her rose cheeks. Her pulse quickens; I can tell by my pinky finger pressing against her neck. 

"Oh my... I seem to have quite the effect on you, Kiah." I pull her in by the collar and share another passionate kiss. Much shorter, in fear of being interrupted again. I wipe off the saliva on my lips and grab a hold of the purple pen nestled behind my ear. "Now unfortunately..."

"Oh, of course, yeah, no problem. None at all," says Kiah with an aura of shock and nervousness. Her first lustful experience, I'm sure. "I won't get in the way of your work. I–I'll be upstairs, if you, um... need me."

I wave her off as she saunters up, tittering in contentment as she does.

>>

Here I am. Sitting in the meeting room, hardly hearing a thing of what Makira's droning on about in the front. She told me the plan of saving Jaxon from JAKIS beforehand. Not like I'd need to know since I won't be going.

The inai on my sleeves is a neutral brown. Adoi, dah lain terus dah design ni. If there's one okay thing that Qatila's done good for me, it's giving me a new henna design. Traditional Malay inai is usually applied in a floral pattern right before the bride gets married (people have given me weird looks before). The design now is Qatila's signature spiral motif. The spirals are tighter and more clumped together at my fingers, while gradually spacing out and getting bigger at my wrists and arms. It reminds me of those stereotypical looping images used to hypnotise people.

Sabrina Al-Makira. I'm hypnotised by her. I can't stop a dumb smile from forming on my face. It's just like those sappy and corny romance movies where one person falls head over heels for the other. For the life of me, I can't stop thinking about that kiss. Her hands over my body... fuck.

My inner realist is trying its hardest to hold these emotions at bay. Love is a potent drug. You can use it as medicine to heal your wounds. On the other hand, you can just as well slip up and overdose on it while trying to cope with too much.

My eyes close themselves during dilemmas like these. I count to 3 and inhale. I count to 3 and exhale. Breathe in deep, breathe in steady, breathe in slow.

My emotions have been all over the place as of late. Fear and love have both washed over my soul, scattering my thoughts. I start to meditate with Makira's voice as background noise. Nice, calming meditation.

"Stupid human."

A few minutes in and I'm already interrupted by the voice of the darkness. "Ugh. You again, Qatila. I liked you more when you didn't say anything."

"You are so similar to your lover. Physically strong, but weaker emotionally than you like to think."

I've said it many times before, but its screeching voice really gets to me. "What does that make you then? Not being able to fully control an 'emotionally weak' vessel like me? Being stuck here just to pester me every once in a while?"

Qatila starts to laugh. An evil, long-winded laugh that starts off slow and ends up booming.

"Patient."

"...and that's the gist of it. Any questions?" As usual, the politically-savvy Harmony raises her hand. Makira is more than happy to hear her thoughts.

"Are you sure JAKIS won't be expecting us to attack? Putrajaya isn't that far from here. Considering how they still have our eyewitness sketches on the newspapers, you know, they could still be on high alert."

"JAKIS have their operatives scattered throughout the country, mostly in the South, some in the North and a good amount in Borneo. Yes, Putrajaya's relatively close proximity to Ulu Klang is some amount of concern. However, a planned heist like this is not in their list of possible retaliations from the ahli sihir community. After all, we're not really an organised group as well. They have little reason to expect anything organised." She ends the explanation with a sip from her half-empty water bottle.

Harmony nods along right next to me. "Mmkay. Got it, chief." Makira looks around for any more questions, to which there are none.

"We go in 24 hours. Tomorrow night, I want all of you to have packed your equipment." She starts jutting out her fingers one by one. "Weapons, tools, snacks–" she looks in the directions of Ramya and Harmony– "clothes, and anything else you might need. This is a big stepping stone in our fight for ahli sihir rights. I take it you all know the stakes. Dismissed."

The meeting room's assortment of stools and chairs creak against the concrete as everyone starts to leave. I feel warm again after Harmony stops manipulating the surrounding heat. Right when I reach the doorway, a metallic clank and and a hand on my shoulder stops me.

"Kiah?" Her tone is dead serious. "A word, if you will?"

I manage to notice Casey's disgusted face and subtle 'ew' from his mouth as he exits. He's not homophobic or anything, despite his Christian beliefs. The way he does his hair and wears subtle makeup is a dead giveaway of his orientation. Him and I lean the opposite way too. We've just always known each other as somewhat tactful and composed, stable people. Making out with a new friend for an unfortunate passerby to see was not something he expected me to do. It wasn't something I expected to do too.

"Oh, sure." I turn to face her. "What's up?" She sits on one of the room's chairs and gestures for me to do the same. She waits until everyone's footsteps are far away.

"It's about earlier. Our little... you know."

Believe me, I don't need a reminder. My brain's doing that 24/7. "Right. What about it?"

She huffs and rubs the back of her neck. "I haven't always been lucky with relationships. Familial, romantic, all the same. All of them have failed at one point or another. I tried so hard, Kiah, but they–entah la."

This is the first time I've seen Makira this vulnerable. Her voice lacks the assurance I've become all too familiar with. I keep quiet.

"Our line of work isn't for the faint of heart. Dealing with life-or-death situations is normal. Your loved ones may miss death by a hair, or not miss it at all. In both situations, you yourself will never come out the same."

She gives me one of those smiles of hers. Sadness lurks behind her veil of happiness.

"I love you, Kiah. With all of my heart. You make me feel things I haven't for so long. Even though you fill me with joy, you also fill me with fear. In an instant, something terrible could happen to you and we may never see each other again." She drops the smile. "I'm scared, okay? Fuck, I–"

I reach for her shaking hands. Her breaths become short and uneven. She's been holding in too much for too long.

"I'm scared I've made a mistake," she admits shakily. "Tha–that loving you's a bad thing. What if I come to regret it? Lots of things could happen, and I'll never forgive myself, I'll never–"

I gently touch her blemished face. Tears start to form in both her eye sockets and run down her face, droplets touching my hand.

"Kiah?" she whimpers, voice cracking and hiccuping. "I'm crying, aren't I?"

I stand up, pull her in and hug her tight. The floodgates are opening. She bawls and sobs uncontrollably into my shoulder. Years upon years of pent-up emotions released in an instant. I rub circles on her back. 

"Shh... takpe Makira. Lepaskan, lepaskan. It's okay," I comfort in between her cute high-pitched hiccups. "I love you too." 

She bawls even harder after I say that. Howls of a tortured soul.

>>

That's quite the emotional experience for Bab 20. Makira and Kiah finally reciprocate their feelings, Makira a lot more than Kiah. Man, I even got sad when I wrote her dialogue like she was in the room with me. This definitely wasn't an easy chapter to write, despite me completing it quite fast. I'm hoping the dynamic between the two will shift into something fresh. Don't worry, you'll still get more stoic Makira and approachable Kiah.

I can't wait to show Jaxon Amputong to y'all. I promise I'll get to the more political side of the story, I'm just taking my time establishing the new developments. Anyway, I'll be seeing you in the next!