Ileara; when the curse disappeared

"Now I understand why I'd rather live alone, away from people," she points a finger to the sky. "Forget about falling in love."

He doesn't say anything, merely smiling as he hears her grumbling quietly, complaining about why humans are so complicated.

She finishes with a sigh as she tilts her head. "But still, I'd like to experience that at least once."

"I thought you did?"

She blinks before scratching her head. "Ah right, but I told you I've forgotten all about it since it's a very, very, very long time ago. So if I were to fall in love again, it'll be like experiencing it for the first time." She beams as she looks at him, her eyes flicking to observe any changes on his expression.

Is it not working?

"I'm sure you will, one day."

"I do hope so," she chirps. Then she plays with her fingers, looking visibly restless as time goes by. "Look," she says, "I thought about it and I know that for you it's too fast, but to me, it's just that I've found someone after a long time of being alone. So for once, I'd like to feel it."

"What do you-" he says but stops as Sara scrambles up to crouch in front of him, blocking his view of the sea.

She grabs his arms lightly, biting her lower lip as she shakes her head. "Sorry. I was just- forget about it. I must've lost my mind for a second."

"Sara..." he trails off as he looks at her; she seems restless, even more as she keeps darting her eyes. "Are you- are you alright?"

"I'm sorry," she utters, already standing up as she places a hand on the railing, grabbing it as she distances herself away from him. All through saying it she only looks fearful, as if she has done something that she shouldn't.

"Calm down," San says, already scrambling to get up as he puts out his arms. "We can talk it out-"

He stops talking as he feels something brewing under his skin, the same feeling that he had gotten as he was overtaken by the curse. He drops to the ground, his chest feeling tight and his skin burning up as he struggles to take in a breath. He reaches out his hand to grab a hold onto something, but all he can feel is betrayal creeping up on him as he sees that Sara is only staring at him, as if waiting for him to suffer throughout.

Why isn't she doing anything?

You wanted to die, remember?

Now that she's doing what you had asked her to, you're feeling betrayed?

"I'm sorry," she repeats again as she crouches in front of him, merely watching him struggle with the curse on the ground, his breath hitched. She smiles, but he sees that it wasn't a mocking one, merely a sad one as her trembling hand holds his face.

He stares into her eyes, and he can't do anything as she leans forward and brushes her lips against his before her tears drop. For a moment he gives in to the kiss, as if he's only trying to find something to focus his mind on rather than the extreme pain radiating through his body.

"You..." he utters, already immobilized as he feels something choking him, and he can only shout in pain as the episode of him overtaken by the curse repeats again, this time seemingly worse.

His mind flashes to the drink she had offered him, as she was so insistent on making sure that he took it.

"You," he manages, "did something to the drink you gave me, didn't you?"

She smiles through her tears as she says, "I told you that I've found a cure to the curse."

"Sara-" San manages as he feels something crawling under his skin, his hand trying to grab onto something, his fingers desperately seeking something to cling on to. "What- did you do- to me?"

"I'm sorry that it hurts," she says through her tears. "But the curse is too strong on you; you'll have to bear with it until everything's out of your body. I couldn't tell you because I didn't-" she sobs, "I didn't want you to disagree with what I'm about to do."

He grapples on the ground, his body contorting in pain as the black tendrils produce a squelching sound, as if trying to squeeze themselves out of his body. He feels like he's in so much pain yet as he looks at her crying as she crouches next to him, the flashes of past memories he had with her suddenly coming back to him.

Even though it was a very long time ago.

It's like a sequence of the childhood memories he had was served in front of his very eyes; reminding him that he had met Sara before, that he had been to the Ileara palace before, that he even played hide and seek in the library with her when both of them were kids, too young to even know anything. He had met her a few times, because it was the start when both of their parents tried to find a solution to the curse.

We had met before.

Princess... how could I not remember you?

You lied; you're not an immortal.

Just like me, you lost your parents to the curse.

Just like me, you were hurt because your parents tried to protect you.

"Sara..." he utters again, his voice lost as he can't find the energy to say anything more. It's like all of his energy is focused onto the curse crawling out of his body. "Why..."

"Because there's no other way," she utters as she cries. "I'm sorry that you had to suffer because of me."

"I don't-" he takes a large gulp of air, "understand."

"You will," she smiles sadly, already feeling the curse starting to transfer to her; one that will definitely make her reach her limit. "I hope," she feels a sharp pain in her chest as she gasps for air, "that you'll find me in another life. Call me like you used to, so that I can come back to you." She tries to smile, even though she can only feel like everything's fading away.

She chuckles painfully as she sees the black tendrils crawling on her skin, but she forces herself to stand up even though her legs feel like they're about to give way soon. She staggers towards the end of the bridge as she reaches out to hold the railing. Her lungs feel like they're about to burst, and the curse has started to overpower her thoughts as all that she can think of is the end. She struggles to at least make it to the end of the bridge, ignoring San even though he's been calling out to her.

San fights the remnants of the curse that's been pulled out of his body, picking himself back up as he lurches forward, making the short run between them. He reaches out to hold her, grabbing her hand before embracing her. He holds onto her, even when he feels as if she's shrinking, made weak by the curse pouring into her.

"Please," he begs, "don't."

"It's already too late," she says as she struggles to free herself from his hold. "Please," she cries out, "let me go."

With one last push she frees herself, not wanting him to see her in this state; as the black tendrils crawl all over, the curse taking over her consciousness, her hair starting to turn white while her nails are coloured black. She manages to grab the railing, and shaking, she holds it as she looks down to the sea below. She looks over her shoulder to see San dragging himself towards her, calling out her name.

This is it; the time where the curse will finally come to an end.

Little girl, this was what you wanted... wasn't it?

In the end, everything came back to you as you couldn't even save yourself.

How pitiful it is for you, little girl... you found the loophole in this curse, but the cost is your own desire.

To fulfil your own desire, you had to let him go.

Shut up. You'll die together with me; you need to let them free.

I already did, little girl.

Now it's your turn.

She lets out a choked sob as the black tendrils crawl over her neck then to her face, before her eyes get inked with black. Her vision starts to get blurry as she stumbles backwards, slipping past the edge of the bridge and she holds out her hands, her back finding nothing to fall onto. It feels like she's already travelled to another dimension, with San calling out her name as he reaches the edge too late, his hand only a millisecond late from grabbing her to stop her from falling. In her vision, it's only her white strands of hair hitting her face, and her black fingernails dancing in the air as they reach out for nothing.

She closes her eyes, but before her eyelids are shut tight, she notices white in her vision all around her. She smiles as her body freefalls, finally seeing that the first snow has fallen this year.

At least I could see the first snow this year.

Even though it's still the same as before.

All alone.

San grabs the edge of the bridge as he sees Sara falling, before he scrambles to turn around and he runs down the hill, bursting out of the palace gates. He almost tumbles a few times as he dashes towards the seashore, frantically looking around from where he could spot the bridge. He stops in his tracks as he collapses onto the sand, one final pull of the curse from his body. He drops face down onto the sand, seeing her disappear at the corner of his eyes before his vision catches snow falling, settling on the ground. He lets out a shaky breath as finally, the pain subsides even though his eyelids still feel heavy.

Princess.

It's here. The first snow of the year.

You said you'll forget me once the first snow falls.

But I never said I'll forget you.

---

"I stayed by the sea," San says as his eyes go over to the others at the dining hall. "But that was the last I could see her. I don't even know whether she fell into the sea or not. All I knew was that I couldn't find her." He manages a smile even though they can see his lips trembling, tears welling up in his eyes.

Akira grips the cutlery in her hands, hearing everything pouring out from San's mouth further strengthening the conclusion that when she felt the curse was gone, it was because Sara was too. She puts down the spoon, then her fork before she looks down, refusing to accept reality. A little bit of hope in her heart tells her that there's a possibility Sara is still alive somewhere, but a bigger part of her tells her that with the curse finally seeing an end, it means that someone had to sacrifice themselves.

It just so happens that Sara chose herself.

"I met her before," he utters. "The curse brought out the memories I erased as a coping mechanism during the last minute; everything just went back to me and I realized that I've met her, even though we don't remember each other anymore. I think it was during the times my parents would go back and forth to Ileara, trying to find a way around the curse together with her parents. My parents brought me together, but I didn't remember. All I remembered was that my parents had not treated me the way I wanted them to; my brain just conveniently forgot about the part where they tried with all their might to get rid of the curse so that it wouldn't be passed on to their children. But they never succeeded."

Akira buries her head in her hands, regretting the moments she couldn't take when even their goodbyes were rushed. She couldn't even manage to properly thank her, nor spend more time with her as she was too focused on the attack coming to the Lucida palace. Her mind flashes to how clueless she had been when Sara stopped her before she had wanted to send them away, saying that they'll have more time to talk after everything was over.

"This was the answer to the cure of her curse." San slides a piece of paper to Akira. "I think she had slipped this into my jacket but it was addressed to you, so I think that she'd want you to read it."

The queen's heart feels heavy as she takes the paper from San, and although trembling, she holds the paper firmly in her hands, opening it and realizing that Sara had written a letter addressed to her. She looks at the others at the dining table together with her, before her eyes fall down to the page.

Your Majesty,

I'm sorry I lied to all of you.

I know that once you read that one line you'll be mad at me and feel like I've betrayed you, but considering that you're reading this letter now, it's safe to say that I'm probably no longer there. No longer alive. I hope that by the time you read this, everything has returned back to how it is, and that you'll live the life that you should. A life that I know you deserve.

When you told me that you knew about the fact that the curse is alive because a royal member of Ileara is; it's partly true. But when you thought that the curse was still alive because of you, that's when I realized I could keep up the facade. The truth is, the curse was only alive because a gold-blooded royal member of Ileara was still alive.

I lied to all of you; I'm not a witch who has lived at least a hundred years, who has seen the world change in front of her very eyes while she remains unchanged. I'm merely the daughter of the previous ruler; Hwang Hyunwoo, also an acquaintance of San's father. When Wooyoung mentioned his name as both of you appeared in front of me, I didn't want to admit that I had anything to do with him. I wanted to see your intentions first; I've had enough of people taking advantage of Ileara.

When the destruction upon Ileara happened, I survived because a part of the curse somehow got to me, something that my parents had made me take so that I wouldn't die together with them. It was only a little; it somehow protected me from the destruction, but not enough to overpower me. I lost everything at once when I was only a child, I grew on my own, having animals as my companions and teachers, while I learned about my surroundings through the remaining books and documents we had in the palace. It was extremely lonely, but at least I survived. The small portion of the curse inside of me was like a friend and a foe at the same time; protecting me yet endangering me. It kept me alive, but it was also the reason my body started failing me. Over the years, my hair turned white and my fingernails started turning black - I dyed my hair and nails over and over again just so I could hide them. The only thing was that the black tendrils never appeared on my skin, so that part was not as obvious.

The curse unknowingly put a timer that I couldn't stop on my body.

I didn't want to tell you of the fact that I'm the princess, the very reason that the curse is still alive. It's because I've been conditioned to believe that people would only take advantage of me; I was scared for my life. I thought that people would come and kill me once they find that I'm the reason the curse still persists, just so that they could be free from it.

At first, it was my initial intention of only curing your husband, because I didn't want your children to grow up without their father. I didn't want your children to feel the same thing like I did, growing up without having anyone to depend on. I wanted to go back to my life in Ileara, to be oblivious to the surrounding world, but as I met all of you in Lucida, I realized what I have been missing. Just before I wanted to go back, San made a request that seemed rather hard for me to fulfil. He wanted me to kill him on the day the Lucida palace would be attacked, so that while everyone else is distracted, I would do him the favour.

But you know, our hearts can change easily even in a short amount of time.

It's barely been a few days since I've been involved with San, but during that short amount of time, I felt as if I found someone I could relate to, someone who understood what I've been through. Just like me, he had to grow up without anyone to call as parents, all of them taken away by the curse. It was just a feeling of pity at first, because it was painful to know that he was suffering because I was still alive. It felt cruel to me, how this person whom I really relate to was suffering because of me.

When I cured your husband, I bound the curse to my blood, which meant that I had to absorb the curse so that everything was taken out of your husband's body. It was fine by me, because the curse on His Majesty wasn't as strong as it was on San. Even though I could take it, the curse still influenced me, feeding me dark thoughts and unearthing my darkest desires. The curse inside my body piled up and became stronger. I didn't want to let you know that another chunk of the curse was basically transferred to me, because I didn't want you to worry much about it. I just want you to be happy now that your husband was cured.

But of course, the curse did affect me.

I was jealous; the curse made me question why I was only sacrificing myself for someone else's happiness, when I had to suffer in the long run after. But in the end, my desire that was unearthed was a paradox; my desire was that I didn't want to be alone anymore, and San made me feel like I found someone I could rely on. Just like you and your husband, I thought that maybe I wanted to experience that too. Both of you just looked so... happy. I didn't know what feeling it was at first, I just knew that I liked his company. I felt comfortable around him, like he was truly the one who could understand me. After a while I realized, it might be, or it might not be love; I can't find out anyway.

I had come to terms with it; how this is my destiny, that I needed to sacrifice myself for the person that made me feel less lonely. It's ironic; he made me feel like I've found someone who makes my heart full and this was what the curse had pushed me to, but in the end, the curse was the reason we couldn't be together. One of us had to die, and I just decided that it should be me. Even though it was only a short time, thank you for showing me what it feels like to have a family. My death was bound to happen, so I hope that once the curse is lifted, all of you get to live on peacefully.

My life was the key to the curse's cure, and now I'm throwing it away so that the curse will die with me.

I hope it's not too much... but can you please take care of Micko since I'm no longer there? I believe your husband might be able to tame him. I've told Micko to be a good boy. Good luck and I hope that you'll have a safe delivery!

Sara Hwang

"She's my cousin," Akira utters as she folds back the letter. She looks down, wiping the tears off her face as she breathes in. "She's my cousin and I didn't even know. My family," she croaks, "was all around me and I didn't even know."

She holds on to the weak hope that Sara is still alive somewhere in the kingdom, even though it might feel bleak. She stands up, followed by Seonghwa who watches her in case she collapses again. She feels him sliding his hand into hers before wrapping an arm around her waist. She could only smile gratefully at him without a word, slightly tilting her head to the others in the hall before both of them disappear from view.

Looking at each other, the young masters nudge Wooyoung so that he'll follow San who has stood up, bringing his empty plate to the kitchen. Wooyoung follows him cautiously, trying to study his expression and body language from behind. He sees San placing his empty dish into the sink, scrubbing it clean before putting it on the drying rack.

San leans against the kitchen counter before he spots the familiar bowl on the counter and he chuckles, feeling like it's a cruel reminder of the short time they had to spend time together. He grips the edge of the bowl, figuring that they must have thrown away the contents after the chaos and sure enough the bowl is empty.

He sighs. "She didn't even get to make her donuts." His chuckle comes out laced with pain, "It was supposed to only be left for 2 hours."

"San..."

"I asked her to kill me," San says, gripping Wooyoung's shoulders, "but why is she the one having to sacrifice her life? I should have caught on but I was clueless up until the end; I wasn't able to do anything."

Wooyoung watches as San breaks down in front of him, gripping his shoulders tight as the latter keeps shaking his head. The former embraces him, but even as San cries against his shoulder he has run out of options to comfort him. While rubbing a hand on San's back, his eyes travel all over the kitchen, remembering the last time they gathered together in the kitchen, talking as if nothing would happen.

Now that they know who she actually is, everything makes sense; they know that the royal members of Ileara once practiced magic, and how innocent she seemed in certain aspects. He sighs as he remembers how excited she was to be tasting cotton candy; something normal to them yet it must have been the first time she's seen it after a long time away from people.

His eyes catch a scrap of paper pasted on the refrigerator; partly because the colour is pink, and that colour obviously reminds him of someone. He stretches out a hand, having San still clinging onto him before he snatches the paper from the fridge. He reads the title, and his heart almost drops as his suspicion is confirmed again; Sara must have written it.

Sara's recipe for donuts!!

Wooyoung chuckles painfully as he sees the title, reminding him of the time that he bickered with her while she was making donuts. But his face falls as he reads the ingredients and instructions; they're obviously not for making donuts. Who on earth would use the bark of a specific tree for making donuts?

He looks at the final instructions before tilting his head; this girl has found the loophole to the curse, hasn't she?

"San," Wooyoung utters. "Listen to me. Sara left us a message, and I think that you need to read this."

He sniffs, taking the paper from Wooyoung as he reads through it, gradually stopping himself from shedding anymore tears. He reads the last lines on the paper, and it really looks like she was writing it in a rush.

Combine everything, say these few words and wait for the dough to rise. WAIT. FOR. THE. DOUGH. TO. RISE. YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT THE DOUGH WILL RISE OR IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. YOU BETTER WAIT FOR THE DOUGH TO RISE OR I WILL SMACK YOU.

Wooyoung chuckles as he sees the words. "She's really threatening us even with this paper alone. We need to go back to Ileara and find her," he decides. "We're about to raise someone from the dead."