Around 16 years ago

"Akira!"

She turns around so fast, her lopsided grin never leaving her face as she looks at the person who called her name. She lifts up both of her hands and waves, happy to see her best friend coming over to her.

"Emira," she says through a pout, ready to make her daily complaints to her best friend. She pulls Emira so that she can sit together with her on the floor at their usual playing spot, hidden somewhere in the palace garden.

"What did Yunho do again this time?" Emira chuckles, her 11-year-old self a few inches taller than Akira, who's only 9 years old. Still, despite the three of them having a small age gap, they're the best of friends ever since they're children.

"Did you know what Yunho suggested just now? He said we should steal some of the cupcakes they just freshly baked from the kitchen, but I didn't want to. He was practically begging me to go take them because he said they looked delicious. But when both of us got caught!" Akira pauses as she opens her arms wide, illustrating the situation to her best friend, "He didn't want to admit that he was the one who wanted them. He put all the blame on me, then ran away!" She frowns, "Then I got scolded by Mrs. Krone, she wouldn't give me dinner."

Emira only has this small smile playing on her lips, listening to her friend run her daily complaints to her. "Then? Did Yunho leave you alone?"

Akira huffs before shaking her head. "He did run away at first but then he came back and gave me his dinner because he felt sorry it was his fault. Then he gave me candy, but I don't know where he got it from."

"He's just too afraid to own up to whatever he did, but as long as he admitted his mistake and apologized, both of you are still friends, right?" The older one tries to reason it out. With her being the oldest, she's always the one having to resolve any conflicts between them; Akira being the courageous, outspoken one while Yunho is the more reserved, cowardly friend.

"I guess," Akira traces shapes onto the soil, dirtying her fingers, but it's not like she can see any colours. Everything is just... black... white... and everything in between. "I mean, it's not like I have any other friends. I only have you and Yunho."

"One day you're going to make him cry for kicking him in the butt," Emira jokes. "You're always too blunt and scary, do you know that? Yunho is a soft boy, it's a wonder how he can stay friends with you."

Akira crosses her arms. "Well I guess that none of us has a choice, so we're stuck with each other." She smiles, "But Emira." She scoots closer to the older, holding her arm eagerly. "You like being friends with us, right? Even though both of us are only servants and you're royalty." There's no malicious intent behind her words, only an innocent child not understanding how severe their differences in ranks are.

"Of course," Emira replies, although slightly hesitant. "The three of us are best friends, and," she pauses, "nothing can change that. Not even our blood colours."

"Right?" The younger's face lights up. "So what's your favourite colour? Is yellow pretty to you? I want to know how the colours look because Yunho says they're pretty! That idiot said that his favourite colour is the rainbow because they're all pretty and he couldn't choose. What's yours?"

"Black," the older one decides. "I think that black is really pretty. The colour goes well with anything." She only keeps quiet with the fact that the younger's blood colour is black. She feels sorry towards Akira, how the latter is completely oblivious to the fact that her blood colour is black and not yellow. She should've told her, but that would mean going against her mother's orders to the whole palace to keep quiet about the child's blood.

"Oh! My favourite colour is black too," she replies. "I wonder what other colours look like, though."

"They're all the same," Emira interjects. "It doesn't matter if you can't see them; it's all the same."

She made it sound as if she's talking about colours in general, but beneath that all she wants to say is that blood colours don't matter, that it doesn't matter whether hers is white while Akira's is black, they're all humans. But of course, she can't really say that to Akira, which will most likely destroy all the trust and her innocence.

"Ah, really, you think so?" she whines. "How can you think so when you can see every other colour?"

"I don't know," Emira shrugs, "I just think that there's nothing to be amazed at."

"That's because you're used to it," Akira complains. "Imagine me, someone who can't see colours from when they're born so I have absolutely no idea how they look like. What if I wake up some day and everything just gets coloured besides black and white? I'll go crazy."

Emira laughs at the little one's enthusiasm, before ruffling the latter's hair. "Sure, people do appreciate things only when they lose them, or when they don't have them, right?"

Akira pauses. "You're saying we have to lose something in order for us to appreciate it?" Her shoulders sag. "But I don't want to lose you or Yunho! I already appreciate both of you a lot, so," she puts both of her palms close together, "please don't take my best friends away from me."

"Are you praying so that you won't lose both of us?"

Akira nods, determined. "I won't lose both of you. We're going to grow up together, I'm going to get married-" she backtracks, "-well, if I ever find someone who likes me back, I guess..." she trails off, "someone with yellow then."

Emira chuckles before shaking her head. "You're only nine but you're already thinking about marriage? What about your dreams, what you want to achieve in the future?"

She pauses to think before swaying her body from side to side. "I'm not really good at anything," she complains. "So I don't think that I can become someone amazing. Getting married is the next best thing! I can have my own family, you know, have someone who loves me, waiting for me every day, cute children to play with."

Emira's expression changes at this, completely taken aback by the innocence of the younger one. Among the three of them, Akira may be the bluntest and fiercest, but under all of that is an innocent child who views the world in a very positive light, where all are happy.

"To you, having a family equals to happiness?" Emira asks.

"Of course! Wouldn't it be just happiness all around, to be surrounded by people who love you, and you know that they're all your family?" Akira looks down, "I mean, I don't know how it's like to have a family. A real one, so you might think it's silly."

"It's not," Emira utters. "In fact, you can have a family and at the same time become someone great. You're pretty good at swordsmanship, aren't you? I saw you practicing that day with some of the soldiers. You were there with General Tao."

Something lights up in the younger's eyes as she is reminded of the only thing she feels like she's good at. "General Tao said I'm really good for someone as young as me," she says excitedly. "He even said that I could replace him one day."

"See? You're good at swordsmanship. When I become queen one day, would you want to become the leader of the army?"

Akira's eyes go wide as she scrambles to kneel in front of Emira. "Me? A general? That's ridiculous! We're still little kids, that would take a loooong time for us to even have that position."

"That's why... one day. So even though if I get to sit on the throne, you'll be near me. We'll still be friends! Nothing would change except that we're all grown and have responsibilities."

"Sounds good," Akira smiles, already excited at the prospect of even getting a job as a soldier.

"Hey!" comes a voice from somewhere in the middle of the garden. The two turn to see Yunho with hands on his hips, looking offended. "Are both of you forgetting me again? If Akira gets to be the general, then what would I be?"

Akira sticks out her tongue. "Someone who polishes the general's shoes."

"Hey," Yunho repeats before plopping onto the ground, lying down. He puts his hands behind his head, acting as a pillow. Before that, he manages to kick Akira until she falls over. "I won't be someone who bows down to Akira. Never."

"I'll make you bow down to me one day," Akira says jokingly.

Yunho huffs before attempting to slap Akira's shoulder, but Emira pries them apart from each other, saying that they need to behave.

"You didn't want to admit that you asked me to steal the cupcakes, and I was the only one who was punished!" Akira frowns.

"I gave you my dinner!" Yunho retaliates.

"I'm still hungry!" she replies, to which Emira laughs.

"Ah!" Yunho suddenly exclaims as he straightens his forefinger. "I went fishing and we caught some fish just now. Maybe we can chuck in some fish supper."

"Let's go-" Akira springs up, but immediately bows down when she sees an authoritative figure.

Even Yunho and Emira immediately stand up, with Yunho not even daring to look at the person who just came in the eyes.

"Emira," the queen speaks, her eyes dripping with poison as she looks at both of her daughter's 'friends'. "What did I tell you about being out of the palace at night?"

"But mother," Emira advances forward. "I'm still in the palace compound, and it's not that late into the night-"

"Answering me back, Emira Lee?" The queen shoots sharp daggers at Yunho and Akira. "What did I tell you about hanging out with these filthy servants?"

"Mother!" Emira raises her voice, but retreats as her mother roughly holds her arm, ripping her away from her group of friends.

"Your Majesty," Akira says with a slight tremble in her voice, but she remains the braver one between her and Yunho. "We have no intentions of-"

"I do not need to hear your excuses. You're not even supposed to breathe in the air around my daughter, the princess, the future queen. You should know your place." The queen releases her grip on Emira but not long after she advances towards Akira, grabbing the child's old shirt, the seams almost undone from the force. "You, I should've just thrown you away when I had the chance."

"Mother please," Emira kneels beside her mother, grabbing onto her skirt. "Why are you treating Akira that way? She's my friend-"

"She's not your friend, darling," the queen says maliciously. "She'll never be your friend. Once you know who you are, you'll be disgusted at your own self. Someone like you don't even deserve to live."

"Mother!" Emira shouts, the tears already clouding her vision. "She's a child for god's sake! Why are you talking like that to her?"

"What do you mean by that?" Akira asks, her voice low. "What do you mean that I don't deserve to live? I'm human. Your Majesty-"

"Don't you dare even call me. I do not need to hear that coming out of your filthy mouth. Let's go, Emira." The queen forces Emira to stand up, pulling her together.

Emira is forcefully dragged, and she only manages to look over her shoulder, apologizing through her eyes.

For the two who are left behind, they can only watch as the two royals walk away from them. Without even realizing, Akira has her hands balled into fists, shaking from anger. No tears drop; she's never cried because of this. She's angry, angry that the queen would dare treat her that way.

"Is it a sin? To be born as a servant?" Akira says, an underlying tone of regret evident. "So what if we're yellow-blooded?"

Yunho resists the outburst to tell her that she is different; her blood is not one of those common four.

"It's not," Yunho replies slowly. "The queen is the bad person here. I don't know... why she's giving only you a hard time. I mean, I'm a servant too, but she's only picking on you."

"Maybe she feels threatened. She's scared that I'll take her daughter's place one day. That I'll replace her daughter, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What kind of person with yellow blood could take over the throne?"

"Right, that would be ridiculous. But who knows?" Yunho shrugs. "You never know what the future holds."

Akira chuckles. "Me, a queen? Never in my wildest dreams. But it would be satisfying wouldn't it? To be able to do something that people have been telling you can't." She tiptoes so that she'll be able to drape her arm across Yunho's shoulder, pulling him down. She whispers, "Queen Akira Hwang, sounds amazing doesn't it?"

---

What a ridiculous dream. It's not a dream; it was my past. Why that particular scene?

She releases a heavy breath first before opening her eyes to a room that is still bathed in darkness. She wants to move but her body feels sore, and she gets even more immobilized as her mind flies to what happened last night. She suppresses her laugh; laughing at her being flustered around Seonghwa.

Ah right, talking about him.

She looks to the right, seeing that her husband is still deep in slumber, snoring softly as his bare chest is completely exposed while the lower part of his upper torso is slightly exposed. Looking away, she pinches the edge of the blanket before pulling it to cover his body. He remains unmoving, and she smiles when she hears him mumbling something before falling quiet again.

Akira Hwang... you've changed a lot.

She stares at the ceiling, bundling herself up with the blanket as her bare skin feels cold.

What an innocent child you were...

She can't believe that the young Akira would target happiness simply by having a family. Thinking about how simple-minded she was; how she said she would have found happiness if she were to have a family. Someone who would love her unconditionally.

I've got myself a family now, don't I? she thinks as she lays on her side, looking at Seonghwa's sleeping figure. Someone who loves me unconditionally.

Right?

Her hand reaches out to touch Seonghwa but she stops, not wanting to disturb him. She lowers down her hand before sighing.

She didn't even realize, she didn't remember, but even her nine-year-old self has been aiming for the throne out of spite. To prove to the royals that even someone like her can become queen. That silly determination was wiped away as soon as she stepped up as a general under Emira. To rule over an entire army is more than enough for her; Emira had kept her promise to keep her close.

Life really does come at you in full circle...

Emira, how am I supposed to take over the throne after you? I never meant it when I said I wanted to become queen; it was only a silly child's idea of revenge. But now, who on earth am I even directing my revenge too? You're not even here anymore.

She lets herself get consumed with her thoughts, drumming her fingers on her stomach. Slowly, her mind retraces the words she had said to Emira about having her own family.

...cute children to play with.

Even with the darkness of the room she feels her cheeks burning up, before she lightly slaps them. Stupid, how can a nine year old say that? Then she purses her lips. But I'm not that nine year old anymore. I'm twenty five now, and I'm married. So I can...

"No," she whimpers, but only quietly as she doesn't want Seonghwa to hear her. "I'm not ready to have kids." Her fingers curl on her stomach, tingling. "Shh- stop with those dirty thoughts. Ah damn," she complains to herself, hitting her own head with her fist.

Seonghwa still has his eyes closed, but he's already awake since Akira had reached out to touch him. He had heard the debate she had with herself that even with his eyes shut, his lips curl into a smile as he can't help it. But still, he doesn't want her to know that he's already awake. Instead, he keeps listening to whether she's still talking to herself.

"...but does Seonghwa want kids?" he hears her say. "Would he be alright with children though? He only knows how to talk to animals and plants, can he even take care of a baby?" A pause. "Idiot, what makes you think that you would be a good mother?"

The corners of his mouth lift up, but he still remains quiet. Was she always this adorable?

"But I'm not ready..." she trails off. She screams silently, ruffling up her own hair. "Why is this so complicated?"

Deciding to speak up, Seonghwa says in his morning voice, which sounds deeper than usual, "Akira, you do know that I can hear everything?"

She stops rustling her hair before slowly turning to look at him, who has this smile on his face that either makes her want to kiss him or punch him, no in between. She tries to play it off by claiming, "Oh really? I mean, it's nothing that I want to keep a secret."

He shrugs. "Really? Not about debating with yourself whether you want to have children or not?" Then his face turns sulky as he mumbles with his arms crossed over his chest, "Or whether I'd know how to take care of a baby since all I know is to talk to animals or plants."

She nervously laughs before pulling up the blanket to cover her chest, suddenly aware that there's still not even a single piece of clothing on them. "I was just joking."

"Hmm," he hums. "What time is it?"

She throws over a look to the clock on the bedside table. "It's 6 in the morning."

"Ahh..." he trails off. "There's still plenty of time then."

"For what?" she asks, entirely oblivious.

Seonghwa scoots over to her, and she yelps when the blanket covering his body slightly lowers to expose his chest. He lands a peck on the crook of her neck before whispering into her ear.

"For you to come to a decision."