Island life is something I never see myself would be at. I am a City Boy and I would only go to beaches if I went on a vacation, but living on the island and spending the rest of my life here is something that didn't come to my head ever since. Now, I've got to see the wonders of Siargao and spend a week here, do I see myself living on the island for the rest of myself and forget the City Life?

The answer is. . . Still, no.

For the past week, it was great for me, but I've already been counting the days until I get back to Manila. Hindi ko pa sinasabi sa kanila 'yon pero sasabihin ko rin anytime soon, probably a week before I left. I haven't booked my flight there yet so wala pang definite time when will I leave the island. I might just surprised myself to extend my stay on the island, but who knows?

NewBoyOnTheIsland: Hey

Me: Hey. . .

NewBoyOnTheIsland: What are you up to?

Me: Hm. . . Anything? Whatever you ask. 

NewBoyOnTheIsland: Are you down tonight?

Me: Yes.

NewBoyOnTheIsland: Can you send me a picture of you first? Like your whole body without clothes?

Me: Why? You could see my face on the album on my profile.

NewBoyOnTheIsland: Yeah. . . I just want to see you first.

Me: Well, I'm down to meet you tonight and there you can see every bit of me.

Me: Hello?

I heard knocks on the door and when I saw Austin standing by the doorway. I was lying down on my bed and my phone screen was facing the door so whoever came in could potentially see what I was doing. So, I quickly closed the app and put my phone down hoping he didn't see those blue and orange balloon chats.

I sit upright and put my arms on my side, grabbing the sheets on the edge of the bed. I smiled looking at him.

"Do you want to come with me?" he asked. Napakunot naman ang noo ko dahil for the first time, he was the one who was asking me questions like this.

"Where?" tipid kong tanong.

"Marina asked me if I could pick up the motor at the repair shop since they called her earlier that it was fixed already. She told me to get it and asked you if you would like to join. Would you?"

Tumayo at saka ako tumango. "I would! When are we leaving?"

"Actually, right now. . ."

"Sure, thing! Let me change for a quick moment."

"I'll meet you downstairs, alright?" Austin said and left the room.

I grabbed a new clean shirt from the built-in closet. Austin shared it with me since there was one closet inside the room, but definitely could put another drawer on each side of the room so we could have our own space for personal clothes. I didn't mind sharing the closet with Austin dahil hindi rin naman marami ang damit ko. Sometimes, I sneak into his drawer space just to see his set of boxer briefs. Weird? I don't think so. 

Austin most evenings slept just in his underwear and sometimes in boxer shorts as he said he was comfortable leaving himself like that. As I told to Cory, I saw him butt naked already, and he doesn't mind.

Maybe he doesn't know I am gay. We never talked about it, so I guess. . .  He might assumed I was straight. Yikes.

After changing my clothes, grabbed my wallet and phone, and went downstairs looking for Austin. I found him talking to Marina, I guess, asking for more instructions about picking up the motorbike. Nang tumapon ang tingin nila sa akin ay itinaas ni Austin ang kamay niya at ikinaway na lumapit sa kanila. 

"Goods ka to come with Austin, Danny?" tanong ni Marina sa akin.

Tumango ako. "I'm very good with it, Mar. Wala naman akong ginagawa rin so I can join Austin."

"Perfect!" Tinapik nito ang balikat ko. "Bantayan mo 'yang si Austin, ha?"

I chuckled, but left me wondering why she said that. She scrunched her face when I asked her, but she just pushed me softly towards Austin. Si Austin naman ay parang pina-process sa utak iyong pinag-usapan namin ni Marina. He didn't ask naman kaya tumuloy na kami sa labas.

"Are we going to walk over there?" I asked Austin.

Naka-cap lang ito saka niya pinasok sa bulsa ang kamay niya. Umiling naman ito. "We'll grab a tricycle, though it wasn't far and we could get there I think ten minutes when walking."

"I don't mind walking and in fact, I've already applied sunblock on me so I don't care about the heat."

He smirked. "Then we'll walk going there."

Hindi naman gaano kasikatan ang araw. Makulimlim pa nga. Some tourists would probably hate it since they'll miss a day of tanning, but I do love this weather. So much comfort for me. 'Wag nga lang umulan.

"So, where have you been last night? You missed dinner. . . And you came home late." Sinilip nito ang mukha ko pero hindi ko siya nagawang tingnan.

I bit my lower lip unnoticeable, he probably could. "Ah, I met a friend last night. . ." I laughed, but it was so awkward that I felt so embarrassed about it. "It was a friend from Manila and he's visiting the island. I was happy to see them here yesterday."

"I see. . . So, these friends, you hang out with them often?"

Napalunok ako ng laway ko. "Well, ocassionaly. . ." Ngiwi ko pa.

"Hm. . . Alright. . ." he uttered, nodding his head as if he knew something I didn't.

Where did I go last night? Well, it was a bit of a rollercoaster night for me.

As I didn't want to deprive myself of happiness by getting my heart broken, I went swinging down the path that I thought could fulfill me.  I downloaded the orange app—the other kind of orange app, and talked to some nearby men. When I found someone who was interesting to me, I asked if he would be okay if we should meet up. He agreed and my heart was racing.

Nagpaalam ako kay Marina na aalis ako at may kikitaing friend na bumisita sa island. I left the house at six in the evening. We agreed to meet at the bar he sent. I wasn't familiar with it, but I only looked it up online kung saan banda iyon. I rode on a motorbike, I went to the bar, I met him, and after that. . . I had dinner with him, and then dinner on the bed.

It was a foreigner who was on vacation with his friends, and he was looking for some fun. The kind of fun I was also looking for. Everything that happened last night didn't fulfill anything, but no one cares. This is my life, no one should mind my life like it was their own business. 

I fuck who I want. 

"Hey, Danny. Are you even listening to me?"

I came back to my senses, shaking my head when I heard Austin calling me out in broad daylight.

"Where's your head at?" Umiling ako sa tanong niya. "I was just asking if you would like to have a quick stroll around the island once we get the bike?"

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Huh? Are we even allowed to do that?"

He nodded furiously at me. "Yes, that's when you saw me and Marina talking earlier. I asked her if we could go around and let me show you some parts of the island that you haven't seen yet and she said it was fine. She didn't mind. As long as we fill up the gas, we'll be good. And she said we should buy some watermelons if we ever pass by some store."

"Ginamit mo pa talaga ako, e. Ikaw lang yata 'tong gusto gumala. May bibistihan ka sigurong chicks mo."

"Chicks?" He scrunched his face. "Did Marina say we should buy a little chicken as well?"

I laughed hysterically at his question. Napalo ko pa siya sa balikat niya. "Corny."

"I was serious," he defended himself. "I don't know what you were talking about."

"Don't mind it," pagtatapos ko sa usapan naming dalawa. "I'm all for it, Austin. I've only seen a few spots here in General Luna so that might work for me."

"And that could give you more reasons to stay longer here on the island."

"Could be," I answered and pressed my lips together. But I don't have a plan of staying long. Sorry, Austin.

Hindi rin nagtagal nang marating na namin ang repair shop na pinaayos ang motor. Nang makita ng tauhan do'n si Austin ay agad itong binati. Mukhang kilala na siya rito. Siya ang tinawag nito para papunta kung nasaan ang motor na kukunin namin. Nakasunod lang din naman ako sa kanya. Austin seemed to be socially adept naman so I'm guessing why it took him so long to make himself comfortable to me. That's what I just noticed about him. It's the way he talked to other people, especially to those ladies who asked some photos with him at the beach a few days ago.

I need to find that out. There could be something more than that.

Tinawag din naman ako ni Austin at ipinakilala sa tauhan do'n. Binati ko rin naman pero ang atensyon nila ay nasa kasamahan kong puti. When they were done talking, nasa motor na ang atensyon namin. Austin checked it out and everything looked so good kaya naman nang mailabas sa repair shop ay niyaya na niya akong sumampa sa likod ng motor.

"Are you comfortable over there?" he asked, just like last time.

"I am. . ." sagot ko naman.

"If you couldn't grip the handle at the back, hold on to my shoulder and put your arms around my waist. I don't mind. As long as you don't fall while we're on the road." Ngisi pa nito.

"I won't fall. . ." The last time I said that to someone else, I fell for him, and became the biggest mistake of my life. "Saan ba tayo pupunta?"

"What?"

I chuckled. "You should already know how to understand and speak Tagalog, I'll teach you sometime. But I asked, where are we going? What do you have in mind?"

"I think you'll love it there. . . Are you ready for a ride?"

I nodded. "Yes. . ."

Nang paandarin ni Austin ang motor, nakahawak pa rin ang sa handle sa likuran ko in case he might speed the motor up, but later on, he was telling me to put my hands on his shoulder so I won't be uncomfortable on my position. I did what he asked me to do. I held on his shoulder for my life. When he knew that I was comfortably sitting behind his back, he sped up a little.

Malakas ang hanging na sumasalubong sa amin. Hindi rin malagkit sa balat at presko ito tumatama sa amin. Wala pa rin akong ideya kung saan kami pupunta dahil makailang minuto rin ay lumabas kami sa siyudad ng General Luna. 

A few years ago, I know Siargao was struck by a Super Typhoon and that was all over the news and everyone felt so devastated by it. I was saddened by the fact that many people lost their lives, businesses, houses, and a lot of things, especially the natural beauty of Siargao lost during that time so stepping onto the island for the first time, I am glad to still find people wear smiles midst of what happened.

I'm grateful to be here. . . But I can't stay.

Not that long, I figured out where we are going. . . I saw an ocean of coconut trees while we were traversing the side of the hill. Hindi na nawala ang ngiti ko habang tinatahak namin ang highway. I could also find Austin smiling from the side mirror. He soon stopped when we reached the viewing deck and the best spot to have a look at an incredible landscape.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

I looked at him and nodded. "I love it. . ."

"There you go, this is one of the best spots here in Siargao. The first time I came here, I couldn't believe it. It was magical for me, well, it still is. Do you want me to take a picture of you?"

"If you don't mind."

"Of course not."

I gave him my phone and he ordered me where to stand so I could have a better view of the coconut trees. Naupo rin ako sa semento at saka niya ako kinuhaan. He handed the phone over to me so I could check the photos he took of me, but then a notification popped out from my orange app and he saw the message on it.

I had to take his attention away so I quickly asked if he wanted to take photos as well. No'ng una ay ayaw pa niya dahil ako talaga ang idinala niya rito pero napilit ko rin naman sa huli. Iyong kaba sa dibdib ko ay hindi maalis habang tinuturo ko sa kanya ang direksyon kung saan tatayo.

I sat down on the stone railing and Austin on the bike while we watched some people take some pictures as well. Tiningnan ko si Austin at hawak niya ang phone habang nag-vi-video. He said he'll post it on his IG story. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko dahil wala rin naman siyang reaksyon sa nakita niya kanina sa phone ko.

Naisipan kong maglakas ng loob para lang makasigurado.

"Hey. . . I just want to ask a question?"

"What is it?" tanong nito. Tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko at lumapit ako sa kanya. He creased his forehead as he followed looking at me. "Hm?"

"What you saw earlier on my phone—" he instantly cuts me off with a laugh, shaking his head. I was left confused.

"I don't mind, Danny. . . Really."

Napakunot ang noo ko. Medyo nabigla lang din sa sagot niya. "So, you know?"

He smirked, looking at me while raising his left brow. "I feel like I knew. . . But you're fine. I don't mind."

"I see. . . Oh, okay." And I brought out an awkward laugh which I think he noticed as well. "Okay. . ."

"Shall we go to the coconut road?"

"Meron pa? I mean, is there more?"

He grinned, nodding his head. "Come on, it's more wonderful to see it close."

"Then let's go!"

He put his phone back in the pocket of his shorts and fixed his position while carefully hopping behind him. When it was all set, I put my hands over his shoulder, but before he could even drive off, he grabbed my hands off of his shoulder and put them around his stomach.

"Better?" he asked, looking at me halfway.

I nodded, with a slight smile on my face. "Better. . ."

At that moment Austin drove the bike away and let the wind come rushes against us, I felt so free. . . Like all the worries washed away. Well, I was wrong because he knew it all along. . . All this time.

***