After strolling down the boardwalk, we went down to the shore and looked for a spot where we could leave our belongings and dip in the water.  They all did, but I stayed on the blanket we lay down on the sand under the palm tree talking to Cory over a video phone call.

"Anong ginagawa niyo ngayon, sis?" tanong ni Cory. I shifted the camera view and showed to her where am I. "Shet? Ang ganda naman diyan. I've been meaning to go to Siargao rin talaga. Gusto mo ba kami na lang pumunta riyan ni Douglas?"

"Sis, next time na kayo pumunta," aniko. "Solohin ko muna 'to."

Natawa naman ito sa sinabi ko. "Wait. I-zoom mo nga 'yang camera mo ro'n sa naka-black board shorts? 'Yong matangkad na puti."

"Lahat 'yan sila puti, sis," aniko. Ginawa ko rin naman iyong request niya na i-zoom kay Austin ang focus ang camera. Hindi naman niya alam na kinukuhaan ko siya ng video as he was enjoying himself there. "Ano bang meron at gusto mong i-zoom sa kanya?"

"That's your type," mabilisang sagot ni Cory. "I knew it because. . .  I wouldn't say the reason anymore, but he was the one you've been talking to me, 'di ba?"

"Yes, he is. . . And so?"

"Go for it, sis!"

"Anong go for it? Akala mo naman papatulan ako niyan. Straight 'yan si Austin."

"Ay, straight?"

"Oo, at first, nababanggit ko naman sa 'yo na hindi kami masyadong close, but I think we're getting there."

"Roommate kayo pero hind kayo close? For sure nga nakita mo na siguro titi niyan, e."

"Hoy, loko ka! Hindi pa, 'no. 'Yong makinis pa lang niyang pwet. Infairness, ha."

"Sus! E 'di, type mo nga? Dine-deny mo pa, e. It's about time, Danny! You deserve this, after all, you're single and yummy—forget about all the things that happened."

"Kadiri ka sa part na 'yon. Pero, okay, ginagawa ko na nga 'yon dito. At saka ano bang hindi mo naintindihan sa straight nga 'yon si Austin? Duh, ang kulit?"

Napanguso ito. "Pero malay mo type ka rin, 'di ba—ay shet, hoy papalapit siya!"

Mabilis na umangat ang tingin ko sa sinabi ni Cory. Automatic na naglanding ang mata ko sa lalaking patungo sa direksyon ko. Cory wasn't lying, and it was Austin after all. I put my phone down and attended to his attention. I squinted by eyes when as I looked up at him, but soon as he stood over me and blocked the sunlight, I saw him much better.

"Hey, what's up?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He grinned. "I'm not sure if I was too late to do this, but would you mind putting some sunblock on my back?"

"Oh! I don't mind! Come sit here. . . Let me just grab my sunblock."

While I was scooping the bottle out of my tote bag, umupo at pumwesto naman si Austin sa harapan ko. I looked at his back at naiinggit ako dahil sa kinis ng balat nito mula sa back acne, though he has some little freckles but mild and never visible when from afar, I thought it was cute.

I started putting drops of sunblock on his back later on rubbing it all over his back.

"You've really got sensitive skin, 'no? Ang bilis mo mamula, but you never get tanned."

"That's why I hate how pale I am sometimes," he joked. "I often to the beach, tried to get tanned, but ended up getting burned. I wear sunblock, but I often forget to do so."

I chuckled. "Well, I'm around, you won't forget it. I could be your personal sunblock rubber."

He laughed at what I've called myself. "Personal Sunblock Rubber, is that a thing?"

I giggled and shook my head, trying to have a glimpse of his face to see his reaction. "No, I just made it up.

"But I'll take it," he said. "You offered, so you can't take it back. If you take it back, I'll kick you out of our room."

"I'll take it, don't worry." Ibang klaseng ngiti naman ang bumalot sa mukha ko. That only happens when I'm feeling something with a certain person. The feeling of having a stomach feeling different things was weird for me, but I guess, it means something. "Let me get your arms next and we'll be done."

He shifted his position now facing me so I could get a hold of his arms from hands up to his shoulder. He extended his right arm and I started putting cream on top and rubbed it afterwards. I've never gotten so close to Austin like this before, this was the first time we were so close to each other and held him like this. I know this doesn't mean anything to him, but for a gay like me, I don't wanna get attached. Ayoko nang maloko muli. I think I've had enough of it.

Austin is fit. Tuwing umaga, maabutan ko siya sa likuran ng bahay na nagwo-work out dahil may itinayo silang gym-setup para hindi na nila kailangan dumayo pa. All was taken care of Marina. Alagang-alaga niya 'tong mga puti. Sometimes, I sneak out to watch him worked out shirtless and letting his body glistened with his own hard work sweat. His arms were well-defined. Magpapa-head lock ako rito all the time if given a chance.

"All done!" I announced when I finished covering his arms with protection. "That should be enough."

"Alright, thanks. You're such a big help. Do you want me to do the same thing to you?"

I would like, too, very much!

"I already did before we left earlier."

"Then join us swimming," paganyaya nito sa akin. "Feel the heat and the water is warm so it wasn't crazy cold."

"I will, I'll come after you."

"Cool," Austin said, stood up, and left me to join the others again.

"Sis, ang landi?"

Literal na natigilan ang buo kong pagkatao nang may magsalita. That sounds like Cory. I quickly look at my phone saw that it was running on video call. Nakita ko ang mukha niya na inaasar ako.

"Narinig mo lahat?"

Tumango ito. "Hm, hm. Narinig ko lahat. Feeling ko bet ka niya, sis."

"Asa ka."

"Let's see, at bibigay 'yan sa 'yo."

"Let's see at bibigay 'yan sa 'yo," I mocked her. "Ewan ko sa 'yo. Do'n ka na ulit sa Doggy mo. Mamaya na ulit. Babayu."

"Later, sis!" Napahagikgik pa ito bago ibaba ang tawag.

Napailing na lamang akong isinuksok sa loob ng tote bag ang phone ko. I got up from the blanket and joined the others. As I walked there, the little waves came rushing towards my feet. Medyo malamig. Niloloko lang ata ako nito ni Austin, e. But before I could even indulge myself, they started splashing water at me and I started panicking. Nakapikit lang ako at hindi ko alam kung sinong patuloy na nagsasaboy ng tubig sa akin kaya gumanti rin ako habang naglalakad paatras mula sa kanila. Later on, I felt a huge wave hit me behind my back making me knocked down the water.

I only back to the surface when someone lifted me up and there I saw Austin in front of my face. He was laughing while looking at me. His hands were on me while I was trying to find my balance.

"Are you okay?" He giggled. "Seem like the waves don't like you that much."

"Well, I couldn't see where I was going. Who did it first?" I asked and looked at the others and all pointed back to Austin. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kanya. "It was your fault after all."

He smirked. "I thought it was fun!"

"Fun mo mukha mo," bulong ko pa. Unti-unti rin naman niyang binitawan ang pagkahahawak sa akin.

"But you're good now, right?" he asked, but the smile on his face and the form of his hands preparing to splash some water on me again made me run away from him. "Where are you going?!"

"Far away from you!" sagot ko at nagtawanan silang lahat. When I turned back and saw his face,  he was shaking his head and then turned to his side and took a swim.

Bumalik naman ako sa buhanginan at naupo. Mayamaya ay lumapit si Marina sa akin at tinabihan ako. Nagulat na lang ako nang itinulak niya ang katawan niya sa akin dahilan para matumba rin ako sa gilid. Natawa siya sa ginawa niya.

"Pasensya na, natuwa lang ako," panimula niya. "Napapansin ko, ha? Dumadalas na ang pag-uusap niyo ni Austin. Close na kayo, 'no?"

Napakibit balikat naman ako. "Hindi naman big deal 'yon. . . But I think he's comfortable na rin with me."

"It was just weird dahil usually, Austin was very socially acclimated naman. There are times na mahiyain siya, but he said naman that usually happens at the first meeting and somehow loses after several talks. Kaya nga nagtataka ako, roommate naman kayo pero hindi kayo masyadong nag-uusap."

"Siguro nahihiya rin ako sa kanya?" tugon ko kahit hindi rin ako sigurado ro'n. "I'm an extrovert and would do all things na hindi ko ikahihiya. Ako nga lang ata ang ikinahihiya, eme."

"Oh, that sounds like something you need to spill," ani Marina, lumalabas ang pagiging Marites niya. "I still don't know the reason why you left the city. . . Well, I've only got the idea, that you said you should be in Palawan and not in Siargao. You could talk to me anytime, alam mo naman 'yan. I'll never treat you like a stranger."

"You're such a sweetheart. . . I feel like I really don't deserve to be your friend."

She chuckled. "Naku naman. Kapag tumatagal-tagal ka na rito, makikita mo na talaga ang totoo naming kulay. Don't be shocked, wala namang masama sa mga ma-di-discover mo. Pero you'll be staying longer, right?"

I winced at her question because, for all I know, I couldn't stay much longer in this. Like what Cory did in Palawan before. Nandito lang ako para magpalipas ng araw at ialis ang isipan ko sa kung ano mang masasamang nangyari sa akin.

Marina put her hand on me. "Okay lang 'yan, but if you decide to stay longer than what you think of, you're free to stay. . . I don't mind, as long you'll help sa chores, 'no?" She laughed at it.

Tumango ako. "Oo naman, I feel like 'yon na lang din naman ang ambag ko so bakit hindi ko pa gagawin?"

Later on, we heard that Austin got himself a surfboard. Umahon naman sila sa tubig at pumunta kami sa spot kung saan pwede namin mapanood siya sa pag-su-surf. Tinawag pa nga ako ni Austin bago siya pumunta sa spot kung saan malalaki ang alon na tuturuan niya ako. Umiling ako dahil hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin at nirason ko na lamang na panonoorin siya.

We picked up all our stuff and headed back to the boardwalk while Austin laid down on his chest on the board while paddling his arms towards the surfing spot. Nauna naman siyang makarating at nang matunton namin ang pier ay naghanap kami ng pwesto na makikita namin si Austin nang maayos.

We watched him paddle his way closer to the waves. Hindi pa nga raw gaanong malalaki ang alon dahil baka low tide pa ngayong araw. But as soon as he made it, he slowly got up on his feet and positioned himself waiting for the wave to come at him. As soon as the waves rolled down on him, he was inside the wave surfing his way into the open side showing off his skills.

"How long has he been doing this?" tanong ko.

"Here in Siargao, since he got here," sagot ni Bradley. "When we told him that there was a Surfing Competition, he immediately signed himself up. He almost won."

"Because he said he didn't want to win," dagdag ni Kady. "He said it was just for fun, and if he would win, it would be awesome."

"And you guys don't surf?" I asked.

"Me and Xander don't," Kady said pointing at herself and Xander. "But Marina, Brad, and Keegan casually do it sometimes. They don't compete but for leisure."

"Just for a fact, I competed one time," Marina stated. "That was my first competition and I got the second place even though I'm not that good. After that, I didn't join because I've got other things to do and Keegan came into my life. So, I don't train anymore like I usually do."

"Wow, what a story. . ."

"And I think Austin's showing off his surfing skills is suspicious," Kady muttered, squinting his eyes. "But to whom?"

Hindi ako nakasagot sa sinabi niya dahil wala akong ideya kung sino ang tinutukoy niya. I watched Austin and he came back for another round surfing on the waves. He was good and he was waving at us when he perfectly executed his trick. Ang laki ng ngiti niya sa labi kaya naman hindi ko rin natigilang mapangiti—but also made my smile fade away when I know he won't turn his head at me.

When Austin signaled to us that he would be going back to the shore, we left the pier and met him at the shore. Bradley and Keegan quickly hugged him and jumped around because, at the next Surfing Competition, they believed Austin had a high chance to win even though himself don't have faith he could do it.

"Were you impressed?" Austin asked me when he walked next to me.

"I was impressed. Totally impressed." Ngiti ko pa.

"Maybe next time I could teach you," he said.

"Eh?"

"It isn't that hard. I tried pushing Kady and Xander before, but they don't want to do it."

"Ah, so you had no choice, but to force me, right?"

He grinned. "Do you think you got a choice?"

I rolled my eyes at him and let out a laugh. "Whatever."

"I'll take that as a yes," he pointed out. "We'll do it soon."

Everyone decided to take an early lunch so we all decided to find a resto near the area. Sumusunod lang ako sa kanila dahil hindi ko kabisado ang lugar. Marina was the one suggesting the place while everyone would say their opinion about it. And for someone who has no idea, my opinion doesn't matter for now.

When they finally picked a food place, we all headed there, someone—a brown-haired girl approached Austin and asked if she could take a picture with him. The reason they did ask is because they've watched him surf earlier. Watching him get so close to these women reminded me of my last relationship.

Lukas and I had never known in public. He was trying to keep his masculine image in public because, for starters, he needed good publicity to attract projects and brands for himself. Our relationship was kept in private and even though we could be seen with each other in public, I was only tagged as his best friend. Not a lover, boyfriend, or anything, but a friend.

He was linked to some of the female models he worked with. He didn't deny nor confirm any rumors about him that's why we kept our relationship steadfast without any problem. I was happy with him. I support him in every way even though I was overshadowed in that relationship. And not until the world knows about him and Davide. It felt like I was never in the picture ever since. He didn't acknowledge his past relationship, but telling everyone Davide was his first boyfriend, and made him feel proud and confident in himself.

I was hurt, and the remorse I felt about was valid. I could never forgive him.

And to what I was seeing with Austin, I'm feeling the same thing and I feel like I couldn't risk getting into that zone again. Maybe it was a good thing that he was straight. Cause it will never happen.

Danwell Hipolito is marked safe from getting my heart broken by another AFAM.

***