After Jamie had left I sat in my room. Alone. Thoughts whirled in my head as I felt sick to my stomach. "May I come in?" Sansa's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Y-yes Sansa. "

Sansa swung open the door. Shutting the door she ran over to me. "What was that all about?"

"I-I'd rather not discuss it Sansa..."

"It's okay, talk to me."

"I really cannot."

Sansa sighed. "Fine. "She said coldly. "Enjoy your wedding. "

After the wedding was the part I dreaded. I had a great time talking to Loras. This was different.

We stood in Lora's chambers, well our chambers now. "Do you want to?" Loras asked.

"I really don't k-know...." I responded lightly as I felt Loras's hand in my shoulder.

"We don't have to if you don't want to, have you ever done it before?" Loras removed his hand and say on the bed.

"Uh, y-yes. "I shook my head. "I think so. "

Loras lifted an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"I was drunk. "I confessed but then lied. "It was a long time ago. "

"Who was it if I may ask?"

My heart leaped. What would I tell him? "I-I don't remember. "I felt like I was going to throw up.

"It's fine. "

I sat beside Loras. "D-do you want to?"

"I would like to but it matters if you want to. "

Loras was nice and I was happy to marry him, yet I wanted Jamie so badly right now. I lifted my head to Loras and we looked at each other.

"I don't want to. "I shook my head.

"That's okay. "Loras kissed my forehead. "Take a bath and get in your nightgown, I'll see you the morning. "

I ran a warm bath and sat in it for a long time. I looked up at the bathroom ceiling and sighed. "What has my life become...?" I sat up and got out of the bath drying and dressing myself in a nightgown before entering our chambers again.

"Come here.." I heard Lora's soft voice as he called for me on the bed.

I walked myself slowly to the bed and laid down on my side my back facing Loras.

"So... Jaiden I heard about the Kingslayer...." Loras began.

"What about him?" I asked.

Loras wrapped his arm around my waist. "You and him used to...?"

"No! Never! But he did try sometimes...." I lied.

"Do you love him?" Loras played him my hair a bit.

I paused for a second wordless.

"Jaiden?"

"Yes Loras?!"

"Do you love Jamie?"

I turned to face my husband. "I-I used to..."

Loras seemed disappointed . "Why'd you leave him?"

"I wasn't allowed to be with him, and he- he tried some things so I- I'd rather not talk about it. "

"That's fine, but your my wife now. "

"I know. "I lightly touched my finger to the tip of Lora's nose.

"We should get to bed now." Loras sighed and turned away from me.

I returned the sigh and turned too before closing my eyes and getting to sleep.