There is a seriously deranged girl sitting in her bed, covers over her legs as she leans forward to write some other seriously deranged words.

Said girl is going to temporarily going to control the lives of her friends.

Word after word, the girl smirks. She is God of the most horrible, messed-up, awful fanfiction on wattpad. Or... Not so much. After all, she had read some pretty bad Dan and Phil fictions... Like The Hat Fic... She shudders at the thought.

But still, she is God.

***

KingLoloBear - Logan - wandered into the mythical land of Wattpad. This was hardly his first time going there, but he knew that each and everytime he crossed over, a little bit mire of himself was becoming lost there. After all, Wattpad was like a house party. You meet some cool people, you express yourself, you read some fanfictions so awful that you want to spill your guts in the toilet and casually sacrifice yourself to Satan. You know, the usual house party. And he wasn't one of those safer people huddling in their own cooped-up dark corner. Oh no, he was out there. Expressing himself. And perhaps he has sacrificed himself to another devil entirely - Wattpad itself.

After updating two poems, the king signed off with a sigh. House parties had drugs. You couldn't stay on wattpad long... Or else you wouldn't want to get off.

But alas, his good friend J_E_Green - Green - messaged him. She said, "I don't understand how everyone hates cliché and it is still popular."

Logan didn't like cliché himself, but he was a bad boy werewolf. Some of those stories, he felt, were talking about him! Some of the stories depicted his kind as a bunch of assholes, and he wasn't exactly a bad boy. Though he wanted to be. So, instead of being outwardly offended, Logan typed back a response he didn't pay much attention to.

Then, he got another message.

The circles under his eyes darkened. He was being dragged in.

There was a girl by the name of pennyroyaltears - Penny, God will call her - that was possibly one of the best novel writers on wattpad. She had an extremely underestimated book called The Hunger of Man that was impossible not to enjoy.

Being drugged by the orange-and-white world of wattpad, Logan answered the message.

Penny had said, "Ayo, want sum fuk?" After all, that was normal for people like her to say. She was a straight A good girl who always spoke grammatically correct and definitely did not write amazing stories about gangs. Also, she was kidnapped by One Direction once.

Logan swallowed his phone, which brought wattpad down with it. Of course, he mostly got on it on his computer, but whatever. His phone was already gone. "Well damn."

He didn't swallow it because of Penny's normal, innocent behavior. Rather, he was afraid of getting lost in wattpad.

Like any overachieving werewolf would do, he went to his computer to check wattpad.

His good friend Donald Trump, or clinton-can-go-fuck-herself02, had messaged him.

"Do you have any extra bricks for my anti-Mexico wall?" Trump had sent.

Logan typed back, "No. I don't understand why you hate Mexicans so much. They just want to get into a better country without the cost. This is the Land of the Free."

And Trump sent back, "Bitch, the wall is for the fucking Mexican zombies. You can never be to careful. The Canadian zombies are too nice to fuck up our lives."

That much was true. Logan remembered the time shapeshiftergirl, or Icy, had stumbled upon a huge group of Canadian zombies. All they did was accidentally stumble into her and apologize.

"Right," Logan said.

Trump, quick as ever since he didn't have an election to win, said, "Ayo, want sum fuk?"

Logan swallowed his computer.

There was a knock on his door. Patting his full stomach, Logan walked over and opened it to see Anna, or dawnyoake, along with Penny. No one had any clue how they knew where he lived, which happened in all fanfictions ever.

Penny waved at Logan. "Hi. Slurry about earlier. I meant fish, not fuk."

Logan nodded over at Anna, "Whatchu doin here?"

Anna put a finger over her mouth, and Penny looked over in surprise at her. Anna sighed. "Dude, I was practicing my stalking ability. Thanks for ruining it."

"Sorry."

"Where did your computer go?"

"I ate it," Logan explained, "to prove I was a macho piece of fuck. I swallowed my phone, too." He didn't want to explain what a wattpad house party was. "My phone was being a lil bitch so I had to explain to it things a real man could do. But I didn't fuck it. Werewolves only do that to girls they hate, according to wattpad werewolf fictions."

Oh no. He mentioned wattpad. They were going to know he was high as fuck, already seeing orange.

However, the two girls were high, as well. Nobody seemed to give a damn. Penny shooed Anna away, and the little stalker lady left. Then, Logan invited her inside.

"Gimme sum fish," Penny said.

"Werewolves don't eat fish!" Logan scolded. "We only eat cake and ice cream! It gives us lots of protein."

"Gimme sum fish," repeated Wattpad's greatest novelist, banging down a fork that came from Oblivion on this table. "Or I will go back with the Doctor and kill your parents in their youth."

Logan gave her some cereal, and absolutely zero fucks were given. Even Penny did not give a fuck. So, in the room, the two just sat there in silence.

That was, until Trump peaked through the tiny window next to the bed.

"Donald, can't you see we are in the middle of sum fish?!" Logan yelled at the undercover Mexican.

"No!" said Donald, face as constipated as ever. "Logan, this is important!"

Ignoring all this, Penny asked, "Where does the vampire come in?"

Of course, Logan would answer her question later. But the orange man pushing himself through the window into his top-story apartment room was of more concern to him at the moment. "What is it?"

Donald dusted himself off. "The Mexicans have created an alliance with Amish people. They plan to rule the world. I need your help."

Logan turned to Penny. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Sure," said Green, who had been hiding in the freezer the whole time. "Come on, Penny. I am going to put a gun to your head and make you write more in your fabulous story."

The two nonchalantly left.

Donald continued explaining, "You must collect a group of people from Wattpad to help you fight. I have to deal with Hillary Cliton's shit, so I really can't. Will you do this?"

"Dude, I wouldn't, because you are racist as fuck and delusional..." Logan said. Then, he shook Donald's hand. "But for the sake of this horrible fanfiction, I will!"

"Alright. You can assemble everyone tomorrow. Also, check your fridge before you sleep. Green has been hidden there for a week, watching you sleep every night." And with that, the delusional orange man flew out the window.

I can see this getting a lot of reports in the future. XD I don't mean to offend. Vote and comment. Also, you can be in this story if you really want to. Just pm me or comment.