iii. 

They were constant nights when Mare's cries filled the hollow walls of their giant palace. Nights when mommy threatened to leave when daddy got too close to her. Or times when he threatened to hurt her with violence, or threatened to kill her if she ever tried to leave him. Or when her cries fell silent because he'd done something neither child could name. But always, always, he'd tell her how much he loved her. How much he needed her by his side. And mommy never replied with those three words in return.

The awful names she called him. Murderer. Monster. Traitor. Liar. "You betrayed everyone who ever loved you and forced your brother's hand! You cheat, and lie! You destroyed your family and took your father's crown! Was it worth it in the end, Maven? You're just a fucking coward."

She would accuse him of things neither Arden or Eden could or wanted to confirm was true, especially at such young an age. But still, they feared him sometimes, their father. All he need do is call them by their full name and all bad behavior came to a halt.

If daddy was a murderer, and had gone as far as to killing his own father and brother to get the crown, then they'd better not step out of line for fear of what he might do to them. Their father was a big and tall man, stronger than all the other men around him because of his fire control powers. He was the new Flame of the North. All his workers listened with palpable fear when he spoke because they too knew what he was capable of.

Mare tucked the little ones into their beds, then walked the short distance back to her own bedroom. Her lonely, empty bedroom with the arched ceiling, canopy bed, expensive decor. He could give her the entire world, and had tried to, but nothing could make her truly happy. Nothing could undo the unnecessary things he had done for her and for his crown.

Things she could never forgive herself for. She would never forget that day Maven asked her to choose him, back at the Bowl of Bones. The look of betrayal Cal sent her as Maven helped her out of her cell and pressed his lips to hers desperately, claiming his victory over his brother and claiming Mare as his own. She was his war trophy, better than any medals decorating his expensive military uniform. Mare was doing it again to help the people she cared about, including Cal. Instead, the older prince was sent off to die with no remorse by his younger brother.

Maven Calore thought himself so powerful, being king now. But she hadn't loved him for what he would become, but for who he was before. Or who she thought he was--a sad little boy in the shadows. The shadow of the flame, as she herself once put it. Overprotected by his mother, overlooked by his father, and living in a long shadow caused by a perfect older brother who would one day be king.

Someday, she thought to herself, she'd take her children away. Someday she'd make things right.

But still, she sometimes felt as though she loved him. They were feelings she buried deep. Feelings she even kept from herself. If only he'd let go, just a little bit, just enough so that she could spread her wings and fly away. Perhaps someday she'd come back to him and they could be happy. But he never gave her a choice. She was a prisoner in her own home.

She walked past her bedroom door, and saw a shadow hovering near her bed. Her breath caught in her throat until, she realized Maven had come back.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, exhaling a tired sigh. She thought she would be rid of him for at least a week.

"My mother has put me in a terrible mood and I no longer feel like going out." He replied to her, almost feeling as though they were an actual couple again. Sometimes she'd see that he was just the broken boy she remembered underneath it all and would cave in, listening to his worries. Those were rare moments like this one.

Mare slipped out of her robe then tossed it on a nearby chair. She wore a nightgown beneath, that hugged the curves of her slim figure. He turned, not looking at her. Not wanting to upset her, less his needs were to come into play. He hardly looked at her anymore. Not because he didn't want to, but because she didn't want him to look at her. Like he wasn't even deserving of that, his eyes being on her.

She climbed in bed and turned the light out. "I suppose you and your mother did a bit of arguing?"

Maven nodded his head, "She's just...so insufferable sometimes."

In the darkness, Mare sighed. She could obviously not voice her own opinions on the former queen. That is, unless she wanted her husband to come leaping to her defense and causing another argument to break out between them. That was the thing about people. They could talk bad about the people they loved, but when someone else did it, it was the end of the world. Little did Mare know, though, that Maven was the same when it came to his mother talking bad about her.

He stood over her bed, gazing at her curled up body on the large bed.

"We have to figure something out." He said, his blue eyes shining like a cat's in the darkness.

"Not now." Mare answered, so tired of the days events, pretending in front of the children that they were a happy family. It was exhausting. She just wanted him to go away so that she could drift off to sleep and forget that her life was horrible. Outside of the palace, a war was still being fought, and there she was being held prisoner by a ruthless young king who seemed to be obsessed with her. Maven swore to her that it was love, but Mare knew it was more like an obsession. She didn't want him, claimed she didn't want him, and therefore he tried even harder to keep her.

"I want you to be happy." He started, and there was a hint of honesty in his words. Mare almost thought he meant them. But then she recalled that Maven Calore was an expert liar.

"You want yourself to be happy." She shot back with a snarky reply. She was great at them and she had a full arsenal. From the very first moment that she met Cal outside of that bar. She had always been a quick thinker.

"Mare," He whispered, voice pleading. He was tired of fighting with her and wanted to find some common ground. This wasn't the cruel king appealing to her, this was Maven. The boy without his mother's influence and the weight of the crown on his shoulders. "Would it help if moved out for a while?"

"You're never even here!" She yelled accusingly, tears brimming in her eyes, and part of her was surprised by her own response. "And now you want to move out? You can't be serious, Maven! The kids never see you, I never see you. I know nothing about you once you set foot out the door, I get news of your whereabouts from the fucking servants."

He fell silent and Mare clasped a hand over her mouth. What had she said? What did it mean? Ever since she had been taken prisoner by Maven at seventeen years old, she swore to herself that what she felt for him as pure hate. She had been forced to be by his side, and to be his slave queen, in order to save the people she cared about. Yet, there she was, complaining to him about his absence in her life and their children's. It didn't make any amount of sense, and she knew it.

"Just... go. Get out." She yelled, tears brimming her brown eyes.

Maven drifted toward the door slowly. "Be angry all you want, Mare. But I'll always love you."

"Just go." She repeated, sobbing.

-

"Mare...wake up." A hand gently shook her from her night's rest to blinding sunshine coming in through her balcony.

"What is it, my love?" She replied, rising sleepily.

The smell of morning dew filled her senses. She cracked her eyes open and looked around, taking notice of the room. The canopy bed, the veranda with the marble flooring, a picture of their family hung on the wall. A frown formed on her face, her mouth drawn down. She thought herself in another life, with another person, away from her misery.

Maven gazed at her lovingly, and smiled at her, a hand on her leg.

But it was a look of disgust that quickly filled Mare's brown eyes. She swatted the hand away, her soft skin colliding with his arm. So soon she remembered where they were and who they were now. He was an evil silver king, who had committed various atrocities, and she was his red queen. A queen in title only, as she was more of his prisoner.

The smile Maven wore fell away.

"What is it?" She asked, looking about the room and never making eye contact with him.

His blue eyes bore into her face, a hurt look within them. "We're having breakfast. You'll eat with the rest of the family. And that is not a request, it is an order." He stated with much authority in his tone.

"I'll eat in my room." She refused with a shake of her head.

"Perhaps, you won't eat at all." He shot back, rising from the cushion of her bed.

"Fine. I don't care." Mare continued with venom dripping off her words.

"This is ridiculous." Maven exclaimed, his patience was quickly thinning. Not that he had a lot of it in the first place.

Mare laid back down, drawing the blanket that covered her legs up to her shoulders, and closed her eyes. Maybe if she wished hard enough, he'd go away.

"Are you so angry at me that you'll deny the children a breakfast with their mother?" Now he was using guilt to try to get his way, and Mare would have none of it. She knew him well. He would do anything to get her to submit to his wishes. Mare only ignored him. She ate with the children every morning whenever he wasn't around, but she refused to do so as long as Maven was in the house.

He looked down at her, a murderous gleam in his eyes. He used violence to get whatever he wanted. To squish his enemies, to fill the people with fear and dread. But Mare. He didn't want to do it to her too, not again. But if he had too...

Maven scoffed and angrily ripped the covers off her. Still, she did not respond. It was what his wife called passive resistance and she knew it annoyed him. It drove him crazy. If he hated when she fought and argued with him, he hated it even more when she said nothing. All he wanted was for her to obey.

He rolled his hand into a fist.

"Don't think I won't hit you." He warned her, teeth barred. Violence was a way of getting what he wanted. And it seemed, even at home he was pushed into using force as a means of attaining what he wanted. In the end, he would be blamed when all she needed to do was accept his terms to begin with. It was as simple as that.

Mare rose, sliding out of bed and Maven smirked, satisfied by the response and folded both arms before chest. Mare drew close to his face and growled. "It never stopped you before--"

"Are we going to do this again?" His blue eyes rolled.

"You tell me, your majesty. Why don't you just leave me alone? I don't want to sit across a table from you. I don't want to be anywhere near you! Your very presence disgusts me." She said, and he flinched, blue eyes filled with hurt. Her words definitely stung. He wanted her to take them back. He wanted her not to mean them. But she did. And instead of trying to reason, to try to fix things, it seemed like the only thing he knew to do was to argue back, to yell at her the same way she was doing to him.

"You're tearing this family apart." He growled an accusation, storming away from her. "You're only hurting the children." He pointed a finger accusingly at her.

"Oh. So now you care about the children? Where's that care when you leave for weeks on end and you don't even so much as call to ask if they're okay? Where is that care when they ask me why daddy hasn't come home and I have to tell them you're out there fighting for our kingdom to be a better place? When I have to lie to them that you're a good person? Where is that love you claim to have for them, Maven?" It was a serious question. She searched his eyes, face indignant before spinning around to face the away from him.

But Maven walked toward her and grabbed her arm, snapping her back towards him. "You'll never forgive me." He observed angrily.

"You don't deserve my forgiveness. You don't deserve anyone's forgiveness." She said, referring to the many people who had trusted him, loved him, and died for it.

-

i'm actually very inspired with this, even though about three people read this. but i don't care. i have so many mareven ideas floating in my head even though im a bigger marecal shipper. but im a big traitor like maven. lol

i hope you're all liking this story. please check out my other red queen fanfic.

its called "hellfire". its about the moments in maven's life which led to him being the way that he is in the series. i wanted to stop the story right at the point where mare falls into the arena at queenstrial. but i think i might keep it going until the end of red queen because i have a ton of ideas for him.

also, i'll be posting another maven story. this one takes place after maven and cal escape the arena. its going to be called "pillow". and its basically him alone in his bedroom at night, thinking of what could have been if mare had chosen him.

-clary