SUMMARY, EPIGRAPH, PLAYLIST ... infxllia, 2024

love and duty are the death of me.

Is it better to out-monster the monster /
or to be quietly devoured?

GOOD AND EVIL / FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

IN WHICH,
the forest girl is the survivor and saviour of the fire.

or. 

IN WHICH,
lyanna carves herself a name and a legacy.

I weep because you cannot save people.
You can only love them.

A LITTLE LIFE / HANYA YANAGIHARA

KINGDOM COME ... noun. biblical.
the next world; the hereafter; heaven. a place or time seemingly remote.

                    LYANNA'S HEAD IS BOWED AS SHE FOLDS SHEETS. She keeps to the corner, ashamed it has taken this long to do a very simple task. There is that innate feeling, as she works diligently, that she does not belong here ─── and she really doesn't. These are private chambers, and she is trusted to be here and not to be seen. Yet he has seen her, and seems intent on talking to her anyway.

                    "Oh," he says, dark brows raised. Is he really that clueless? Did he think the room was kept tidy by itself? He cannot be that blind, surely. "By the way, where did you learn to shoot?"

                    Lyanna wishes she could ignore him; she bites the inside of her cheek anxiously, harshly enough to taste copper. "I had to, Prince Jacaerys. And I will be done with this soon." She adds meaninglessly ─── he doesn't seem to care. 

                    Jacaerys seems confused at that, taking some pastries from a plate on the table and sinking onto a chair, eating while watching her work diligently. It's very easy to resent highborns, but less so with him. "You can't have not been taught by somebody." 

                    Lyanna pauses, looking up and making eye contact for the first time since he walked into the room. "Have you ever been hungry, my prince?"

                    "I mean, a bit."

                    She almost wants to smile at how sheltered he is ─── they're both four and ten, both born in summer; and yet he has lived a life of luxury and she has only ever served it. Lyanna inhales, sinking to her knees to put the folded sheets in the chest. "So have you ever woken up knowing that if you don't hit the target you won't eat today? Or tomorrow?"

                    He is still looking at her, but more curiously now. She has felt like a specimen before under such eyes, but they were usually violet or a lot more cruel. And there is something turning behind them. It's odd, really, because for the first time Lyanna feels seen. 

                    "No."

                    "Then you should count yourself lucky, Prince Jacaerys."

PLAYLIST ...

ABBEY ⁑ mitski
me and the devil ⁑ SOAP & SKIN
SOLDIER POET KING ⁑ the oh hellos
blood // water ⁑ GRANDSON
WHO IS SHE? ⁑ i monster

daylight ⁑ DAVID KUSHNER
APOCALYPSE ⁑ cigarettes after sex
way down we go ⁑ KALEO
THE FRUITS ⁑ paris paloma
everybody wants to rule the world ⁑ LORDE

LIQUID SMOOTH ⁑ mitski
fucked my way up to the top ⁑ LANA DEL REY
THE TRADITION ⁑ halsey
centuries ⁑ FALL OUT BOY
AFRAID ⁑ the neighbourhood

the family jewels ⁑ MARINA
ALL FOR US ⁑ labyrinth, zendaya
vampire empire ⁑ BIG THIEF 
EYES DON'T LIE ⁑ isabel larosa
pretty when you cry ⁑ LANA DEL REY

ARMY DREAMERS ⁑ kate bush
girl with one eye ⁑ FLORENCE + THE MACHINE
LABOUR ⁑ paris paloma
achilles come down ⁑ GANG OF YOUTHS 
I KNOW THE END ⁑ phoebe bridgers