-

Jungkook stares down at the hospital bill with furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips. He exhales raggedly and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends to relieve the tension that's infesting his head. 

"Hyung?" A small voice calls out from the doorway. Jungkook looks up to see his brother standing at the doorway of his bedroom. 

"Seonnie?"

The boy blinks and rubs his sleepy eyes before trotting over to the bed. "Hyung still awake?"

Jungkook gives him a small smile. "Yeah. I have some work to do so I'm staying up a bit late."

Seonjin frowns. "But Hyung doesn't work anymore?"

Jungkook nods. "It's-uhm- it's a different type of work." He says while looking down at the bills in his hands. 

The younger nods and scoots a bit closer towards Jungkook. "C-Can I sleep here tonight?" he asks, his eyes big and pleading. 

Jungkook looks down at his brother's small face and reaches out to caress his soft hair "Sure you can. Hard to sleep by yourself?"

The boy nods, his lips pouting out a little. "I-I keeps having scary dreams." He snuggles closer to Jungkook and rests his head onto his lap. He's silent for a moment before he mumbles in a quieter voice. "...about mama."

Jungkook pauses his hand and looks down at the boy, his face dropping into a sad frown.          "S-She'll be okay, Seonnie. We'll be okay."

Seonjin looks up, his big eyes filled with questions and his face scrunched with too much worry for his age. The sight jabs at Jungkook's aching heart and he has to look away. He trails his eyes back onto the bills in his hands and sighs. 

Jungkook has no job, no income, no backup plan yet he has the entire weight of his family in his hands. He closes his eyes and brings his hand up to rub at his temples, attempting to relieve his throbbing headache.

"Can you come back? To work."

The question rings in his head, playing on repeat like a broken record. He know's he has to make a decision soon... Jungkook opens his eyes and looks over at his brother's resting figure, noticing the way the younger firmly  grips onto Jungkook's shirt. He places his hand on top of the smaller one and sighs for the umpteenth time... But maybe that decision has already been made for him. 

-

There's something about work that Taehyung finds akin to drowning. Like a harsh tidal wave, conquering over you before you know it, swallowing you whole and pulling you into these depths that your body cannot withstand. The waves of stress, the weight of work, the flood of responsibilities that lays in Taehyung's hands is similar to that very sensation of drowning. It pulls him in, deep, strikes him with a force that leaves his body vulnerable and tires him down with the burdens of his past. Suffocation doesn't describe the raw burn in his lungs as he tries so hard to catch a breath, to catch a goddamn break.  Taehyung is drowning, drowning, drowning in this misery he calls work and there seems to be no escape. And so he simply accepts his fate. Because perhaps drowning in his work is better than resurfacing into his bleak reality. 

Taehyung replies to another email from a client about the delay of the car he is releasing. The car that he no longer owns rights to because that scum of a man stole it from him. He chuckles bitterly as an intrusive thought enters his mind. Who exactly is the real scum, Grey Park or his own damn brother?

He reaches out and grabs a cigarette, his hand slightly shaking from the lack of sleep and the lack of food he's had in the past few days. He lights up the stick and brings it closer to his mouth but pauses when he hears a knock on the door. 

He scowls, figuring it's probably one of his staff coming to run him up on a few reports. Some bullshit data about how the company is falling apart. "I'm busy right now, come back later." He lets out gruffly. 

He takes a long drag from his cigarette and shifts his attention back onto his laptop but is interrupted by another knock at the door. 

"I said I'm busy!" He lets out lowly. Whoever is on the other side is really testing his patience. Before he can even think about going back to work, there is another knock at the door. Taehyung grits his teeth and abruptly stands from his chair. He strides over to the door while fuming, mentally promising himself to fire whoever is on the other side. 

"I told you I'm bu-" his breath hitches when he realises who's standing there. He stares at the boy with widened eyes before breathlessly muttering out his name, "Jungkook."

Jungkook stares at the older for a moment before averting his gaze. They stand there in silence for a while before Jungkook lets out a small breath and speaks. "You asked me to come back to work."

Taehyung nods eagerly. "Yeah, I-I did, I-"

"To be honest," Jungkook says while looking up at the older. "After everything that happened I didn't really want to come back here."

Taehyung deflates at that. "O-Oh. Yeah. I...I understand. If you don't want to work here that's fine..."

"But..." the younger hesitates. "But I don't really have a choice."

Taehyung frowns, opening his mouth to ask him what he means but the younger continues before he can. "And so... if you're offer still stands...I'd...I'd like to work here again."

Taehyung is silent for a moment, a bit stunned. He blinks a few times as he tries to process the situation before he's quickly nodding his head.

"Y-Yeah," he breathes out while stepping aside to let the boy in. "Yeah, Jungkook. That would be great actually. I...I really need you here." I need you. In more ways than one. 

Jungkook looks at him for a second and gives him a brief nod. Taehyung can feel that the air between them is tense, is awfully awkward. Unlike how it used to be. 

"Uh, so...so how've you been-"

"Mr Kim, is there anything that you'd like me to start working on right now. It would be ideal for me if I could start work immediately," the younger interjects, staring up at Taehyung. It takes Taehyung back a little, noticing the way the younger is now much more straightforward with him. He wonders if the shift in his personality was progress he never noticed or if it is simply a consequence of his given circumstances. 

Taehyung gestures over towards his desk, "yeah. I mean, I already have samples of your timetable ready. I'll get them to you soon. Currently, I need to reschedule meetings with several investors now that the car is no longer on for sale." 

Jungkook nods. "I'll email all the clients and send them apology gifts."

Taehyung watches as Jungkook trots over towards his old desk, which is now clear of everything but his desktop. He takes a seat in his chair and pulls out his own laptop. Taehyung opens his mouth, feeling the needs to say something, to speak. But what exactly should he say? Maybe he could apologise? Start with a sorry. But something in him tells him now's not the time. Not when Jungkook is being so...distant? 

He's being professional. Taehyung tries to reassure himself. But then that little voice is the back of his head pipes in. Jungkook's always been professional but he's never been cold. Never distant. He's never been one to stare Taehyung in the eye and interrupt him. It's clear that Jungkook is upset with him. 

Taehyung looks at his shoes and let's out a small sigh. Why is it that he always messes up with everyone important in his life? How did he end up hurting the only person that might have cared? 

~

Jungkook didn't expect the shift back into his work life to be so easy but as he sits there and types away emails to a few clients, he realises that nothing's changed. Well, not much at least. He glances up at Taehyung and notices the man's creased brows. Jungkook's always been observant of Taehyung and his moods and now is no different. It's easy to tell that the older is stressed. It's evident in the way he tugs at his hair as he works, in the way he reaches for a cigarette a little too often, in the way he leans back and exhales deeply every now and then. 

In the few months that Jungkook worked here, he realised, much to his surprise, that Taehyung is not very good at handling stress. A man of such strong will, yet he crumples under the pressure of his work. To the world, Taehyung is always a strong force to be reckoned with but behind closed doors, stress is the stealthy mistress that pursues Kim Taehyung.  Taehyung used stress as a form of self destruction, indulging in its fine disturbance and lathering his entire body with the misery it paints. And Jungkook has always felt worried about the older's escapades with stress. Even now, with a pool of conflicting emotions swirling inside of him, he feels that ever-present sense of worry as he observes the older. 

Taehyung reaches for his drawer and Jungkook thinks he's going to grab his cigarettes again but this time he pulls out a bottle of pills instead. Anxiety tablets. 

Jungkook stares at him for a moment before sighing. He looks down at the file he's been working on, contemplating for a moment on what to do. 

~

"Sir," Taehyung looks up, almost in surprise, when the younger finally approaches him. Hope blooms inside of him as those round eyes fixate on him. Is Jungkook finally willing to clear the air? 

Jungkook hands him a folder. "I found a legal clause in the ownership documents that we could use to sue the other company."

Taehyung looks down at the folder in surprise. "You- I already got my lawyers to look through all the contracts...how did you."

"They looked through all the design and manufacture laws but not the actual ownership laws."

Taehyung frowns. "But we never got any document claiming proper ownership of the car..."

Jungkook stares at him for a moment, passing on a knowing look. Taehyung gapes. "...The blueprint," he says breathlessly. 

Jungkook nods. "We still have the signed dated version of the original blue print, we could use that."

Taehyung leans back in his chair, marvelled. "Ju-Jungkook that's brilliant. How did you even think of this?"

Jungkook looks down at  the floor, looking a little awkward. "I learnt it when I was minoring in my law degree."

Taehyung shakes his head in disbelief and astonishment. How did Jungkook manage to figure out this situation in a matter of hours when Taehyung's been trying for weeks. It only reminds Taehyung once again of how capable Jungkook is. Of how capable he has always been. 

Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair. "Jungkook. I don't even know what to say. You're amazing, really. I...I really..."

Jungkook cuts him off, looking a little uncomfortable with the praise. "It's okay, sir. I was just doing my job. Is there anything else you would like me to do?"

Taehyung falters a little at that. Talk to me. "Uh...no..no there isn't. You can leave early today since I haven't sorted out your business documents yet. Just...thanks for coming back. I really needed this." I really needed you. 

Jungkook nods almost dismissively and then heads back to his desk to grab his stuff. He doesn't really spare Taehyung another look before he exits the room, closing the door to leave Taehyung in silence with his own thoughts. 

Taehyung feels this hollowness in his chest as he stares at the closed door and lets out a ragged sigh. Jungkook had always been good to him, has always supported him when things got too rough, had always been a warm presence that stood by his side. He had been the fool to push him away so carelessly. To hurt the boy who had done nothing but care for him. He shakes his head while running a hand through his hair. Taehyung's always been good at that; Losing those who mean the most to him. 

~

Jungkook lets out a little exasperated breath as he enters his home. He's greeted by Brianna who smiles at him warily. 

"How'd it go?" She asks carefully. 

He shrugs. "It was fine. Nothing much happened." Jungkook isn't really in the mood to talk. He feels tired. So so tired. 

She bites on the inside of her cheek for a moment, contemplating. 

Jungkook sighs and takes a seat from across her. "What's wrong?"

She looks up, a small frown on her face. "The hospital called today and informed me that they have increased the dosage of your mother's medicine. They say her condition is worsening by the day."

Jungkook sits there silently and takes it in. It feel like he's been hearing it for years. The news of his mother getting more sick by the day. It still sends a hard punch to his gut regardless of how often he hears it. He's just learnt to mask the pain better. 

"I'll go see her tomorrow after work." He says, letting out a small breath. 

She looks up at him almost sadly. "How are you feeling, Kook?"

He gently smiles at her concerned tone, "I'm coping." The lie slips past his tongue easily. He wouldn't exactly consider bottling all his emotions up and going about his day like everything's fine as "coping". But it places a name to other's concern well enough. 

She nods. "If you need anything..."

Jungkook shakes his head. "You've done enough, Bri. Thank you." 

She sighs and stands up, brushing off her pants. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nods, offering her a small tired smile. He listens to her leave through the door and sighs while staring down at his hands. 

What went wrong? He asks himself silently. He lets the question hang in the air and briefly wonders to himself who it's directed to. Himself? His mother? Taehyung? Maybe he's asking this whole damned world, what the hell went wrong. When did his life start tumbling down that steep hill of misfortune. Was it the first time his so-called father stepped into his life? Maybe it started when he first kissed a boy. Maybe it was when his mum turned ill. Whatever it was, it's slowly killing Jungkook. A miserable burn of anguish, pain and heartache, churning in the chamber of his heart and turning the organ bitter. 

All he wants in his life is to feel love, to be loved and to give love without restrain tugging the emotion down. But as life goes on and the days get more tiresome, as responsibilities weigh him down and promises diminish into nothing but plain words, the notion of love slowly wears thin into a bleak dream in the back of his mind. Maybe love and loving just isn't his thing. 

He stares down at the array of bills splayed out across the coffee table, his eyes landing on one of his mum's medical bills. Love is comforting in a sickening way. It gives you temporary warmth and solace, it cradles you in gentle hands while hiding the sharp claws it has, it's a momentary feeling of everything and a sudden sensation of nothing. His mother is the first person he's ever loved and now that very emotion, the feeling that once had him smiling and feeling comfort in her presence has turned into mournful longing. Painful, anxious waiting. Dread. Love burned in his heart like the memory of her sick body laying in the hospital bed. It's times like this where he almost feels betrayed by how twisted the emotion is. But in a way it makes sense doesn't it? 

Because after all, red is the colour of love. It's always been a clear warning sign.

~

Taehyung looks up when Jungkook enters the room. He waits, staring at him. Jungkook looks at him, barely, and gives him a small nod of acknowledgement before trailing over to his desk. Taehyung looks down at his hand, feeling his heart drop once again. These past few days he would watch Jungkook enter his office and wait for that cheery "good morning" he would normally give, but it never came. Jungkook doesn't exactly ignore him, but the way he talks to Taehyung borders closely to a stranger. Taehyung can't help but feel a little helpless. 

He tried to start a conversation with him, had made an effort to talk to him but Jungkook would barely acknowledge his attempts. In a way, their relationship has resorted to what it was originally meant to be. Just a boss and his secretary. 

Taehyung unconsciously trails his eyes over to the boy to watch him work. Jungkook silently types away on his laptop, seemingly oblivious to his stare. 

"Jungkook," Taehyung calls out. The boy looks up, his eyes still big and round, despite the slight bags underneath them. 

"Yeah?"

They stare at each other for a moment, Taehyung's eyes gleaming, desperate, reaching out. Jungkook just stares. Void. Taehyung opens his mouth, wanting to say something. Wanting to say a lot. Please stop ignoring me. I'm sorry. I regret it. I miss you. I need you. "I..." he looks away. "Nevermind." 

Jungkook simply nods. Taehyung sighs. 

~

12:09 pm 

Brianna: Hey, the doctor called me in the morning. Apparently your mum had a few complications last night and they still haven't figured out what's wrong. She's stable now. I'm at the hospital. Come down after work, yeah? 

Jungkook: Yeah, I will. Text me when they figure out what happened. 

Jungkook exhales shakily and places his phone down. It's going to be fine. He looks down at his hands. It's going to be fine. 

"Jungkook, it's your lunch break. You can go eat." Taehyung informs. Jungkook looks up. 

Taehyung frowns. "You okay?" He asks, when his eyes fall on the younger's worried expression. 

Jungkook quickly shakes off his thoughts and nods. "Yeah," he mutters. "And it's okay, I'll skip lunch for today. I'm not very hungry." 

Taehyung eyes the boy carefully before he nods. 

~

"Jungkook?" 

The boy looks up, a little startled. 

"Did you get what I said?" Taehyung asks. 

The boy nods. "Uh, yeah. You want me to fax these over to the analytics department?"

Taehyung nods. Jungkook turns to walk back to his desk. "Hey, are you sure you're good? You look..."

Jungkook nods, a forced smile filtering onto his lips, one that doesn't reach the pool of conflict within his eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Taehyung watches the boy trot back to his desk and furrow his eyes. 

Jungkook looks down at his phone, biting his lip. 

1:20 pm

Brianna: Hey, Seonnie is supposed to go camping for school this weekend. Have you signed those permission forms? He also needs a new sleeping bag. 

1:45 pm 

Had to pick Seonnie up from school early. He's feeling unwell. Still no update on you mum yet, btw. 

1:55pm 

Update from the doctor. They got her tests back and there are some abnormalities in her blood. 

"Jungkook?" The boy jumps at his name being called. 

He put his phone down. "Sorry."

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. "No, that's alright. It's just, are you sure you o..."

Before he can even finish, Jungkook is nodding his head. "Yeah, sorry I was on my phone."

Taehyung stares at the boy carefully for a moment longer before sighing and exiting. 

~
It's an odd gut feeling. A dreadful wave of knowing. Accepting. Clothed in denial denial denial. A heart beat that's skipped, ringing in his head. Alarm bells. Warning signs. Heart rate increases. The gut feeling expands, its a heavy cold sensation. The colour black. The feeling of black. Not emptiness. Not quite that. Yet the absence of something. It's frightful. And even before Jungkook get's the phone call he knows. He knows. But denial denial denial. It's that cursed denial that leaves him wrecked. 

He picks up on the 5th ring. After having seen the contact number, he felt the need to prolong it. He is the emergency contact after all. They would only call him if... Jungkook knew. He knew he knew. But denial denial denial. Even as he held the phone to his ear and listened in closely to the doctors heavy tone, denial denial, wishful denial. 

"There's a tumour in her brain. We can't go forth with the surgery with it. It's ... it's killing her."

Killing her? How? He doesn't understand it. He doesn't quite get it. A tumour? Something smaller than the size of his hand? It's killing her? His mum? The strongest women he knows. The woman that could hold him by one arm and swing him around, the woman that can shield him from any force thrown his way, the woman that was braver than the knights in the storybooks she'd read him. Such a small little thing, a tumour, is killing her? No. It can't be. His mother is too strong. He won't believe it. No. Denial denial denial. 

There a small breath across the line, a sigh, a warning, a sorry. "Mr Jeon... I think with all the pain she is currently in, the best option would be to take her off the ventilator..."

Jungkook chuckles. Not quite. More of a heaved breath that crosses between a pathetic cry and a disfigured laugh. What absurdity was the man spewing? Take her off the ventilator? The only machine that's keeping her alive?  Why would they? How could he agree to this? He doesn't want to let her go just yet. He needs her. He needs her. He needs her to say his name one last time. She hasn't done that in years. He can't let her go. He can't just yet. Why must it resort to this? He can't. 

But she's in pain. That's the heavy truth. She's hurting. Her own body is a torture weapon and she's laying there in that damned hospital bed while she gets weaker and weaker and weaker by the day. That's just the miserable fate,  the unacceptable reality of it. And once again, Jungkook is reminded of what a twisted thing love is. 

Because he loves her he wants her to stay and because he loves her he knows he needs to let her go. 

"Mr Jeon. It would be best if you came and made your decision today."

Because he loves her can't let her pass and because he loves her he can't watch her live and suffer. 

"Are you willing to come and sign her papers?"

Because he loves her he needs her to keep breathing and because he loves her he knows it hurts her to do so.

And so, despite himself, despite his heart, despite his fear, he says, "Okay..." 

Because he loves her. 

~ 

Taehyung enters while balancing the lunch bags in one hand. "Jungkook, I got you something to eat." He announces as he pushes the door open. 

It's awfully quite in the room, even the usual sound of typing is absent. He looks over to Jungkook's desk and frowns when he see's the boy crouching on the floor. What is he doing? 

"Jungkook?" He asks as he approaches him. He doesn't look up, in fact he doesn't acknowledge him in any way. Taehyung tilts his head in confusion as he places the lunch bags on the desk. He hesitantly walks closer to the boy. 

"Jungk..."

That's when he hears it, the small choked noises coming from him. He feels his breath hitch. He crouches down next to him and gently touches his shoulder, immediately noticing the way that they're trembling.  

He carefully turns him around to face him and freezes when he's met with his small tear-stained face. "Kook..." he exhales, feeling his heart lurch at the sight. 

Jungkook lets out a sob and ducks his head to hide his face. Taehyung's furrows his brows in worry. "Hey," he whispers softly, ever so quietly, scared that he will hurt the boy more if he speaks too loud. "What's wrong?"

The sight of Jungkook crying is so raw that it takes him by surprise. These past few days he's seen the boy quiet,  he's seen him numb with hidden anger and betrayal aimed towards him. But he's never seen him this...this sad. This heartbroken. It makes his own heart quiver with concern and sadness. Tears of misery don't belong in these pretty doe eyes. 

Jungkook doesn't manage to answer his question as another sob wracks through his body. The boy stumbles from his crouched position and his knees hit the floor. Taehyung quickly reaches out to hold him. 

Jungkook wraps his hands around Taehyung's hold on him and shakes his head while crying. "S-Sir..."

Taehyung pulls the boy into his chest. "Shh Shh, I got you." He sits down on the floor and sits the boy on his lap. Jungkook hiccups and hides his face in the older's neck. 

"I-I can't let h-her go." He sobs. 

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, having a lurking suspicion of who he's talking about. "Koo..."

"I-I can't be responsible for her last breath..."

Taehyung freezes. Could this mean..?

"I-I can't let her go!" Jungkook cries, the sound miserable as it breaks past his lips. "They- they are going to take her off the ventilator. I- th-they can't save her."

Taehyung exhales a shaky breath as he brings his hand to run over his head. His heart aches as he listens to the younger speak, his voice quivering with so much emotion as he trembles in his hold. 

"She protected me all these years but I wasn't able to do the same to her."

Taehyung shakes his head as he cups Jungkook's face in his palms. "Don't say that, Bun. Everything you're doing now is for her and you're family. You came back here, came back to me despite how I treated you. What was that all for, hm?"

Jungkook looks up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Taehyung smiles down at him and gently strokes his cheek. "That was for her, wasn't it? For her and your brother." Taehyung wipes Jungkook's wet cheeks with his thumb. "You've done everything you can, Koo. You did more than you possibly could. So...so as hard as it may be..." he stares into to the boy's eyes, watching the pools of sorrow within them. "...It's time to let her go." 

~

Jungkook swallows as he stares down at his mother. The doctor stares at him with a sympathetic expression. "Mr Jeon...whenever you feel ready..."

Jungkook exhales a ragged breath and leans down to place one last peck on his mother's cheek. 

"MAMA." A little Jungkook whines, his arms crossed. She switches back on the light and tilts her head. 

"Yes, baby?"

Jungkook pouts, looking away. "Didn't give me a kiss." He mumbles.

She stares at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. She rushes back up to him and leans down. "How could I forget to give my precious boy his goodnight kiss?"

Jungkook nods, still looking cross. His mum leans in and leaves a quick peck on his cheek. Then she gives him another quick peck and then another and another and soon Jungkook is squealing as she kisses his entire face. 

"Mama stop!!" He giggles. 

"Hmm, only if you kiss Mama as well." She says while poking her own cheek. Jungkook giggles again and gives her a quick peck. She pouts dramatically. "That's all?"

Jungkook leans in and gives her another kiss on her other cheek. She pouts again, "That's al-"

"Mama!" Jungkook giggles. 

"Alright alright," she sighs exaggeratedly. She then turns to him again and smiles softly. "I love you, Koo."

Jungkook smiles as his sleepy mind hears the words. "Love you too, mama," he mumbles. 

"I love you, Mama." He says as tears pool in his eyes. 

She doesn't say it back. 

Jungkook turns and gives the doctor a simple nods. The doctor looks over at the nurse and mutters something that Jungkook can't quite understand. He watches in a daze as they maneuver around his mother, pulling on wires, removing things, adding things. It's all a blur. There's only really a few distinct sounds that follow after. There's the depleting beep of the heart monitor and then that dull, monotonous screech. 

There's the sound of the doctor speaking."Time of death, 2:35 PM." 

He faintly hears someone crying in the background. But other than that, everything else is silent. Jungkook stares at his mother and he feels so lost. There's a million emotions rushing through his brain but he struggles to comprehend any and so he stands there, feeling an ordeal of everything and nothing. Aching numbness. 

Time feels fractured as it passes by him. He doesn't know how long he stood there staring at his mother. He doesn't know when he went to soothe his crying brother. He doesn't know when he himself had started crying. He doesn't know when Taehyung pulled him into his arms again and mumbled words of comfort into his ears. He doesn't feel time, merely lives through it. 

Taehyung walks up to him with a big blanket and wraps it around his shoulder. Jungkook looks up at him and momentarily registers who exactly this is. This is Taehyung. His...his... who is he to Jungkook. His boss? His friend? His enemy? Something more? Like with the time, he isn't exactly quite sure. All he knows is that Taehyung is here right now with him. He's here. 

"What time is it?" It's the first thing Jungkook asks him in hours. 

"It's 9:30 now."

Jungkook looks up at the older and frowns, taken aback by how long he's stayed in the hospital. "You can go now. It's late." He averts his gaze. "Thank you for coming with me."

Taehyung stares at him for a moment before crouching down to meet his eyes. "I'm not leaving you here alone, Bun."

Jungkook blinks at the familiar nickname. "It's okay," he mumbles after a moment. "I'm okay now."

Taehyung stares at him and Jungkook shies away from the scrutinising gaze. The older brings his hands up and tightens the blanket around him. "It's okay to not be okay right now. And I know for a fact that you're not okay."

Jungkook gnaws on his lip before peeking up at him. "H-How would you know that?" 

Taehyung smiles and there's something so sad imbedded within that gentle curve that it causes Jungkook's gaze on him to waver.  "Because I know how it feels like to lose a parent." He says simply. 

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek. "Do you miss her?" It's a rather thoughtless question but his mind is too numb to process the gravity behind what he speaks. 

"Everyday." He answers, his voice trailing off into a nostalgic whisper. Jungkook feels another wave of sadness wash over him, breaking through the sea of numbness. This time its a ripple of empathy, of understanding, of sadness; For him, Kim Taehyung. The man with dark eyes that shine with sorrow. 

Jungkook stares at the ground and is silent for a moment before he finally speaks, his words heavy with emotions. "I wanted her to remember me one last time before she left. I wanted her to tell me she loves me. She died without knowing who I was." His eyes pool with tears once again. He feels so sick of crying but it seems the universe keeps giving him reasons to shed tears. 

Taehyung reaches for the younger's hand and grips onto it. "Trust me, Kook, she does remember you."

Jungkook shakes his head in disagreement. 

Taehyung sighs and stands up. "Here, come with me." Jungkook stares at his outstretched hand for a moment before gripping onto it. Taehyung's hand is warm. 

The older leads him to the elevator and Jungkook shakes his head. "I don't want to leave-"

"We're not going to leave yet. I just want to show you something." Jungkook watches as the older presses the button to the rooftop and they both stand in silence as the elevator ascends. 

They step out onto the rooftop and a chilly breeze instantly greets them. Jungkook shivers and wraps his blanket closer. Taehyung leads them towards the edge and Jungkook stares in wonder at the sight of the city below them. 

It isn't the tall buildings or bustling side walks that catch his attention, rather it's the small glimpses of nature that peek from the corners of the city. The little sprouts of flowers, the bushes bundled with beads of sorts, the lush green leaves that decorate the trees. There's still small traces of snow scattered around the city but the flourishing greenery slowly paints over the snow-filled land, turning the blank white canvas into a steady burst of lively colours. 

Jungkook finds it almost strange. They way his surroundings start to encapsulate the beauty of new life whilst those closest to his heart become caged by the hands of death. It really shows the give and take of life. Give a life to get another. A flower shall blossom as another one dies. Nature is cyclical; flourishing, thriving, dying, replacing. And humans are miserable creatures for thinking of the circle as a straight line.  Within the circle, there no real edge, no point to grief. Death and heart break and sorrow happens but the circle has no stopping point, life shall go on no matter how hard one mourns;  That's just the crux of existence. 

When Jungkook turns back to face Taehyung, the tears on his face have dried. Perhaps by the night breeze, or perhaps by mere introspection. 

"When someone hurts you..." Taehyung says, his hair becoming tousled by the wind. Spring seems to carry winter's breeze just fine. "It not what they say that you remember. It's not what they did or what they looked like either. Rather, you remember the way they made you feel. Years could go, they could become a nameless face, a faceless entity, their voice forgotten, but you'll still remember those feelings you felt; You'd remember the hurt." He looks at the younger and smiles. "It's the same with love, Koo." He reaches out and brushes the younger's hair away from his face. "And do you know why that is?"

Jungkook shakes his head, feeling lulled by the gentle caress of the older's fingers and serenaded by his smooth voice. "Because hurt and love isn't the brains doing..."He drags his finger down from the boy's face and rests his hand on his chest. His eyes sparkle from the shine of distant streetlights. "...It's the heart's." 

Jungkook feels his breath hitch a little. "So even if she never got to say it, even if she didn't have a clue who you are, who your name is..."He taps his chest. "Her heart still remembered the love she felt for you." 

Jungkook looks to the ground, smiling a little as tears pool his eyes. "Yeah. She...she loved me."

Taehyung pulls the boy closer and turns him around. He reaches his hand over to his chin and gently tilts it up so he stares up at the sky. "Loves you. No matter where she is, she'll always feel love for you."

Jungkook stares up at the stars, their twinkle reflecting off his own tear glazed eyes. "She had always made up for the love that my father lacked." He whispers. He watches clouds shift past the stars, momentarily hiding their milky light. "Grey... he-he's not my real father."

Taehyung stiffens at that. "You mean..?"

"My real father died before I was born. I never got to meet him. Mama married Grey when I was 4 years old." A bird zooms past the clouds, oddly up at such late hours. It must be lost. "He was not bad at first, he never really paid me any mind but wasn't...he wasn't cruel."

Taehyung wraps his arms around himself as the night breeze picks up. They shiver in unison.  "But then...then over the years he started getting more aggressive. It started verbally. He would make snide remarks at me, call me names, remind me that I'm not his real son." Jungkook chews on his lip for a moment, staring at the crescent of the moon. "It only became physical when he found out that...that I liked boys."

Jungkook feels Taehyung tense around him. "Bun..."

"He would beat me down if I made even the smallest mistakes. He'd starve me if I spoke back to him. He'd threaten to kill mama if I didn't listen to him. He'd lock me in closets, in dark rooms, in small spaces until I felt like I couldn't breathe."

Jungkook looks down as he continue, now staring at the cold cement floor as his hands tremble beside him. It isn't the wind this time. "He's the reason I was so afraid of...of everything. Of anything..." Jungkook turns around so that he's facing Taehyung. "Of you. Feeling anything for you. "

Taehyung stares at the boy with a sturdy expression but his eyes are telling of how he feels. "Grey taught me how to fear the world..." Jungkook smiles gently at the older, looking a little hesitant. "And my mother taught me how to forgive, accept and love."

They stand in silence for a moment before Taehyung speaks, his voice shaky. "J-Jungkook, I-I..." He lets out a ragged breath and stares back at the boys, his eyes sorrowful. "I had no idea that you went through that." He stares at him for a moment before tugging him closer and wrapping his hands around him in a tight embrace. "I promise, Koo," he whispers into his hair, his voice heavy with emotion.  "I'll never let him hurt you again.I...I'll..." Taehyung sighs and pulls away. 

 "That day, when I found out that Grey was your father, I felt...I felt so hurt. So betrayed. I thought you, like everyone else, had come to hurt me. To screw me over." He rakes a hand through his hair, his features crumpling with distress. 

"You know, i've always feared love because it never did me any good, but you..." he looks over at Jungkook, into those big doe eyes, staring at him with so much thought.  "You felt like a reason to look past my doubts. For the first time in my life... I let myself feel." He shakes his head.  "But I was always so scared, Kook. I was being cautious and... and so when I found out he was your father, I let that fear get the best of me. I doubted you. I was being irrational, ignorant." He offers a small sad smile. "You were nothing but good to me yet I let you go so easily."

Jungkook doesn't say a word but his eyes hold the question. Why? 

Because I  was scared. And I love you. 

"I should have listened to you. I should have heard you out. I...I should have trusted you." He reaches up and cups his face. "But I didn't. All I did was add onto the hurt that...that man caused you," his eyes flare with anger as he speaks of him. He sighs while shaking his head. "I don't expect you to forgive me but...I'm sorry, Bun. I'm so sorry for ever doubting you. I regret it. I should have... I.. I just.. I..."

"Sir..." Jungkook says as he reaches up to cup Taehyung's face like he's doing to his. Taehyung's breath hitches. Jungkook offers him a small smile. "...I forgive you," he says, his eyes glistening as looks up at the older. Taehyung freezes as he stares down at him with widened eyes. 

Jungkook voice is mellow as he speaks and he sounds a little nostalgic. "My mother had always  taught me to give people a second chance." His smile turns a little sad. "Especially the ones who care about you." 

Taehyung is in awe as he stares at the boy.  "I care about you, Bun. A lot."

"I know." The breeze brushes past Junkook's hair and tickles the side of his face. A faint pink blush settles on his cheeks from the chilly air. "That's why you're here right now."

Taehyung gazes down at the boy with soft eyes. "That's why I'm here." He smiles and turns the younger around so they can both look up at the sky. "I'm sorry." He says again. 

"It's okay."

The stars are in pretty clusters, forming constellations that they can marvel over.

"I missed you." 

Jungkook sighs. "I...I did too."

The moon is a crescent, shy yet there.

"I...I..."

I love you. 

He doesn't say it, doesn't know how to, not when he finds it so hard to understand; The concept of loving. But he does hope that Jungkook feels the steady beat of his heart, beating mere inches away from him. Because after all, all this was the heart's doing, wasn't it?

They settle into an easy silence as they observe the constellations, feeling an odd sense of chaos and serenity in the air. Maybe it is perfect for their circumstance. Because after all, the water's between them are still a little murky, the confusing turmoil of feelings is still there and there's still that the heavy presence of grief that lurks around. But staring at the stars, at the constellations, at the shadow of the moon, a brief breath of tranquility settles between them. 

Taehyung is hesitant before he moves closer to wrap his arms around the younger. Jungkook doesn't move away and Taehyung feels his heart flutter. "My moon..." he whispers ever so quietly.

"Hm?" Jungkook hums, dazed by the beauty of the sky. 

Taehyung smiles and shakes his head. In a sky full of stars, you're my moon. 

"What's your favourite star?"

Jungkook frowns. "Favourite star? But...there's millions. How can I choose?"

"Stars are just like people," Taehyung says, looking at the milky clusters across the sky. "There's millions of us but...but you only choose to cherish a few."

Jungkook hums in thought before he looks around the sky again. "I like that one," he says while pointing to a bright blue star. 

Taehyung tilts his head. "Why?"

The younger ponders for a while. "Because to me, it looks like the brightest star in the sky. And well... it's blue." 

Taehyung chuckles lightly. "That's it?"

Jungkook stares at the star and nods, "Mama's favourite colour is blue." Taehyung looks at him, eyes turning a little sad. 

"What's your favourite star?" Jungkook asks. 

"I don't have one." Taehyung say simply. 

"What...but you told me..."

The older leans in closer so that his face brushes against Jungkook's. 

"...I like the moon the best." 

-

A/N: Next one is the last :) 

(PS: I'm so sorry for the wait, I felt like this chapter was kinda underwhelming but I hope you guys still liked it. I love you !)