It wasn't until my emotions settled that I was self-conscious of Serana's touch. Her proximity to me, the warmth of her, do vampires even have body warmth? I breathed a deep breath and asked, half-shouting over the wind, "So... that man who attacked us, what do you think of him?"

"That was no mere mortal, Talion. I hesitate to call it a man."

"What happened back there? When I was in the catacombs?"

Serana curled herself around me tighter as she recalled, "I was building camp and I didn't hear him, see him, or even smell him until I heard him chuckle and he bound a conjured shield and sword."

"He summoned a shield?!" I shook my head, "Go on."

"Then I used my spells on him and he just laughed. Talion," she added, "he absorbed some of my spells."

"He must be using the Atronach Stone, so his magika regeneration is lower than normal."

"I don't know Talion, something is off about that man."

"I've never seen you so worried," then I addressed the driver, "Paarthurnax!" I shouted, "Land in front of the giant mushroom! A powerful wizard lives there!"

"Well if it isn't the Telvanni house member with a head denser than his plot armor." Neloth said in his nose-in-the-air voice, for some odd reason I felt like he was talking to someone else, "I guess I should probably thank you for getting so far in this story, the author just had to break the fourth wall."

I glanced around, walking slowly towards him, "Neloth, what potions have you been making and why didn't you share?"

"Pfft, please, your finite insignificant mind is so blind to the world around you."

He glanced over my shoulder and saw Serana and asked, "Is that a vampire? Did you bring her so I can test out my holy water experiments?"

"NO." Serana answered.

"Neloth," I put a hand on his shoulder, and got the Black Book in my other hand, "I'm here because of this."

Neloth jumped back and swatted the book onto the ground with the book in his hand.

"You twit! Do you have any idea how bad Hermaeus Mora would like to pry my research from the deepest reservoirs of the grand depths of my great and powerful mind?"

"He knew?" Serana piped up from behind me.

"Of course I knew," Neloth answered carefully stepping around the book, "I cautioned-" he looked at me for a lost second, "whatever your name is from going to Apocrypha but oh-" he quoted in falsetto, "I gotta defeat a whacko named Miraak. I knew at that moment something bad was going to happen, gotta and whacko aren't even words! The ignoramus was going to get himself killed!"

My eye twitched in annoyance, Neloth has read the books before and didn't say that at all.

"Neloth!" I said gripping his shoulders, "My son and wife are in Apocrypha."

"Let me guess," he said swatting my hands away, "you left the book where a child could get it?"

My silence answered him. Neloth peered at Serana. "See? Ignoramus! That's like- ugh, it's so supremely stupid even I can't make a comparison but the author had to cause drama."

"What?" I muttered confused.

"Nothing." He dismissed and wondered aloud, "Can't you just like- no, I guess you can't just marry someone else-" he glanced back-and-forth at me and Serana a bit before gasping in realization and whispered, "is she your..." he cleared his throat, "concubine?"

"NO." Serana and I said in sync.

"Well you two are basically cohabiting with each other! So by definition-"

"Neloth." I said in a low authoritative tone.

"Ugh, you need a dictionary." He groaned, "Fine, if you so badly want to trod towards your certain death I have information and something that may help you." He went over to a chest mumbling where did I put it, or I was looking for that the other day and other nonsense similar to that before he pulled out a Morrowind-style lamp and exclaimed hazah triumphantly and set it on the ground.

"That should get you in!"

"The info Neloth, then I might know what I am supposed to be going in."

"Oh yes, hmm, well my associate in Morrowind told me of those who are getting a theory off of the ground about the Dwemer learning the art of harnessing souls in soul gems from Daedra. I believe it to be nonsense, but supposedly adventurous members of House Redoran and Telvanni have found discoveries of what are called Doors of Mirrors."

"So I should be able to take a Door of Mirrors to Apocrypha?"

"If they exist, yes, but I must warn you; when you die in the book you are spat out like when you got to the end remember? You should be able to transverse all of Apocrypha but if you die-" he shrugged his shoulders, "-you were a nice assistant."

I took the lantern and asked, "What does it do?"

"That lantern was designed by House Redoran adventurers and should get brighter the closer you get to a Door of Mirrors and supposedly the only door on your side of the great pond is in Blackreach."

"Where's the closest door?" Serana asked.

"Morrowind." Neloth answered simply.

"Well, why can't we go there?" I asked, "I'm part of House Telvanni."

Neloth walked towards me until our noses were practically about to touch. Zero humor in his voice he droned, "You. Would. Not. Survive." Then he stepped back and said, "And the High King of Skyrim riding a fire breathing dragon into foreign lands? Do you see me riding a dragon everywhere you twit? You would be dead before your dust hit the ground."