So, this chapter I planned on being the mature one was too long, I had to split it in two chapters.  Part 1..

"One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without and find that breath is of little consequence." ― Karen Marie Moning, 

The rest of the evening went rather smoothly and it seemed like everyone had a good time. Lily was set on finding out what balls were. At the end of the long debate with his 2-year-old daughter, Alexander finally came up with an explanation, that she believed. His words to be exact "balls are used to play sports like football and soccer. Uncle William is not looking after his balls nicely. So daddy is going to take them away if he does not listen."

The irony of the entire situation made the evening a allot more laughable, to be honest. Lily kept asking William how one should look after their balls, how big the balls are, and "What daddy meant by, taking them away."

She eventually fell asleep while watching one of her favorite movies. It turns out Alexander, Cole, and William sent Nicola to a place where she could recover, both physically and mentally. She is still the same Nicola, but her eyes, they are different, harder than what they used to be.

Alexander also mentioned that I have to be accepted into the pack and official Luna, Queen. This involves a lot more than just a regular acceptance ceremony because apparently becoming Queen is a big deal.  The moment the words left his mouth I was scared, terrified of what is to come.

The ceremony will host all the Alpha's, Beta's, and a selection of important wolves. Nicola and the wolves we rescued will also be accepted. 

The day of the ceremony has finally arrived. It will be hosted in the evening, which gives us time to go and do late minute shopping. This should have been done yesterday, but something came up and Bella had to go to the doctor to check on the baby, which is fine, thank the goddess.

It was 5 in the morning and Alexander was already missing from his spot in bed, next to me. He has been working extremely hard the past few days, arranging everything. 

Somehow he still found time for me, for us, and for Lily. I grabbed his pillow and took in his sent, holding it close to my body, his smell was like a drug to me. A good drug, intoxicating.

A few minutes passed and the bedroom door opened, the room was still dark but I could see him, Alexander. My heart fluttered in my chest and I could feel my nerves shoot... which made me want to hurl... 

I was nervous about this entire ceremony, about being a Queen, about being a mate to the king, but most of all... I was afraid of failing Alexander.

"You will be great," he said, I was so zoned out that I did not notice him getting into bed, next to me. He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. His presence made me feel safe, relaxed, and at peace. 

Goddess, this feels so good... 

"You don't know that," I said, burying my face in his chest, his warm body was like a blanket, I just wanted to wrap myself within it. With all the current emotions running through me, I wanted to cry, I needed to cry.

Noting happened,

I was just numb.

Scared,

and felt so pathetic, for being week.

"I'm too weak to be a queen, Alec," I whispered in his chest.

"No you are not, you are the strongest woman I know!" he said, pulling me in closer. "You have survived a lot, you are caring, loving and above all, you are fair and show compassion for others."

I placed my hands around his body and gave him a hug. With the closeness of our bodies I could easily feel it, well his...

Gosh, I can't say it. I can't even feel it. Okay, I can feel it, it's huge. How can I not feel it? 

'Stop rambling!' Ella shouted at me.

'You're not the one with a giant dick pressed against you, Ella.' 

'You are correct. If it was me I would be on top of it already. Deep M!"She said, making me blush.

Oh my goddess, help me with my wolf. Please. 

I closed my eyes, trying not to feel his growing manhood against me, but it was so hard, it really is, am, was? Huh.

Gosh.  I'm losing it. Mental Note... don't move! I repeat, stay still...

With every passing second, my mind became more lustful and Ella was not helping.

I wanted Alexander, so badly.

I cant. 

"Love," Alexander said, his voice was husky and not helping my current state of mind.

"Uh, yeah," I responded, trembling on my words.

"You know, I can smell you."  

Well great... just great.

For a moment I swear my heart stopped, and I could feel myself begging myself to loose the restrain I tried to hold over myself, but I can't... not now. Besides, if Alexander wanted this, he would have acted on it. Wouldn't he? Just like Cecile said...

"Sorry," I mumbled. Trying my best to press my legs closer together.  Hoping that the feelings will just go away. 

'As if that will help. Just pounce him, it'll  make us feel really good.' Ella purred

Goddess, this is so torturing.

"I- I need to get out of bed, Alexander. This.." I said trying to control my breathing.

"I can control myself, love. There is no need for you to go," he replied.

And you see, there it is. He can control himself, he wants to and I. I can't do it if I stay on more minutes in this bed. I would do something he does not want. 

I struggled to get out of his grip, but once he realized that I needed to leave, he let go of me.  I ran towards the bathroom and shut the door behind me, locking it. 

I was so out of breath, my body was firing up and all I still wanted, needed was him. Just too bad that you don't always get what you want. 

I walked to the mirror and took off my clothes, staring at myself, at my scarred body. Tears were creeping from my eyes as I looked at every scar, remembering where each one comes from. Ella could only heal so much, there were too many times, too many scars happening at once, and these were only the external scars. I had some on the inside as well, ones that would never be seen. Only felt, by me.

'I can't do this, Ella. ' I whispered. 'Im a mess, I'm not fit to do this. I... I will fail and Alec will look bad then.'

'Why do you always doubt yourself, you were born to be the queen, to be his mate.' She said proudly.

'Actually, I was born to be Mitch's mate, he rejected me. So I was not born to do this.' I said sobbing.

'The Moon Goddess, she picked you and me for this, there is a reason. You just have to push through.' 

'Okay.' I responded, cutting our conversation short.

____

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom, when I got out Alexander was gone, so I got dressed and ready for the place where we were supposed to pick up a dress for myself, Bella and Nicola. 

The drive to the mall was quiet, neither of us spoke much and it did feel kind of weird. This was the first time the three of us were out doing something together. The first time we were alone and well, the first everything I guess. 

Once we stepped into the shop both Bella and Nicola went, ballistic. They really, like in really liked shopping. In a matter of five minutes, they each had 8 dresses to try on and I was still searching for the color I would like my dress to be. 

At the end of hours of waiting Nicola decided on a long, tight fit, red dress. It showed all her curves and made her eyes pop, she had silver shoes and some silver accessories to match.

Bella decided on a green dress, it looked so soft and fit her so beautifully. Me on the other hand did not know what to pick. I debated for a long time and we ended up deciding that I should stick with something white.

So, I picked a lacey white dress, long sleeves, it showed no skin, which was a bonus, because I did not want anyone from the pack seeing my scars on the day of the ceremony. The dress was beautiful and had everything I wanted. This is happening... 

The drive back to the palace was quiet, but the three of us were more relaxed around each other.

 We got out of the car once we stopped at Alexander's home. We wanted to get ready here, instead of the packhouse. There were supposed to be many people getting ready there and also the guests, who will be attending the ceremony.

A few hours later I stood in front of the mirror in Alexander's room. My brown hair was roughly braided and I had on light makeup. I did not want to overdo it, but I think I looked okay. Bella and Nicola stepped into the room, both of them looked beautiful, stylish, and happy. I gave them a smile and they smiled back at me. 

"You look beautiful M," Nicola said, smiling at me. She stepped closer and embraced me in a tight hug. The memory of almost losing her overwhelmed me and I held onto her tighter. "You too, Nix. Thank you, for everything, for always being my anchor. My friend and my sister." I said.

She stepped away and Bella came crashing into me, she was something else and I really adored her, she loved Lily, which must be why. "You are going to be the best Luna Queen, in history! I just know it." She squealed, giving me a hug. "Thank you, Bella." 

 We walked out of the house, and climbed into one of the SUVs, Nicola wanted to drive so there was no arguing with her. Normally at something like this the Luna's father would hand her over to the Alpha, or in this case the King, neither the less I did not have anything like that. I was alone, I was to do this alone. I could feel the nerves shot through me as my heart started to pound in my chest.

"I'm going to be sick," I mumbled. 

"You'll be fine, just take a deep breath and focus on the Alpha, Alexander," Bella responded back. I got out of the SUV and took in the sight before my eyes.

Fairy lights were shining light on everything, the shadows of the plants and flowers were so intriguing and romantic at the same time. The light was so beautifully arranged that one would think that it was part of the nature of the garden. A fountain with a wolf in the middle was placed in the middle of the garden. The sound of the water flowing got lost behind the light music that could be heard from the inside of the palace. The sight before me was like something straight from a movie, almost unreal.

I closed my eyes as I took one step, then another. I was to wait in the waiting hall, only to go once I was allowed to. 

Half an hour passed, it felt like a lifetime as my emotions got the better of me. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. My head shot up and when the door opened, there stood William, no other than the no-filter Beta. 

"Alexander sent me," he said, smiling widely. "He did not want you to walk down there alone. So, I am at your service, my Luna Queen." He winked at me. 

Just when I thought that nothing would make me love Alexander more. He would always think of me. 

Hi All. The second part will be up soon, I just didn't want to withhold this chapter from you, it was already done yesterday. 

Thank you for reading and for all the votes, comments, and reads <3

I really appreciate all of you.

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