'i wanted life and wanted to be a part of it, but i found it painfully difficult.' unknown.

multiple episodes

For the last few days, Neviah found herself entrapped by her father's books. Stories, first-hand accounts, sightings. Things that she did not believe to be real, she started to reconsider. Influenced by an older man she had met three nights ago. He had a face that felt familiar to her. Dark loose curls, blue eyes, and pale skin. A smile that warmed where his words failed to.

He had a way with words. Knew what to say and when to say it. He had the ability to persuade. Everything he said pulled the naïve girl into wanting to know more.

They met at Ray's. Neviah sat alone in a booth, sipping on a strawberry milkshake. A treat for passing her test—as expected. The loneliness dampened her mood. Celebration turned sour when your closest friends were anywhere but there for you.

The man adorned a leather jacket. He walked up to her and smiled. "Have we met before?"

She felt it too. A connection to him. Bells went off in her head, the hum louder than before. A warning she didn't heed.

"I would remember if we had," she told, spinning the straw with her pointer finger.

Without asking, he slid into the booth. Neviah didn't dare deny it. He clasped his hands together on the table. He bared his teeth with his smile.

"We'll fix that."

From then on, they connected. He revealed he contacted her before, the person who sent her the photo of Malikai with Derek. He didn't know why he did it, he just did. Said, "I felt like I owed it to you."

Very often the man didn't make sense. Like his reason for not giving his name, or how he had her number. But Neviah didn't question it. She felt the same way. As if her life was intertwined with his. He had something she wanted, he made that very clear that first night.

It wasn't lust, or anything surrounding that. Neviah didn't like older men like that. He promised her he would never do that to her. She felt obligated to believe him. He might have been the only person she could trust to be honest.

"Have you ever wondered how odd this town is?"

"Who hasn't?" Neviah responded, gliding her finger across the spines of books. Her eyes skimmed each label in search of a specific book.

"They're real, you know."

"What are?"

"The Supernatural." A chill ran down her spine. "Werewolves, Nymphs, Witches. People that hunt them, too. It's all real, Neviah."

She paused. Memories of Stiles questioning what Scott was becoming came to her in sudden flashes. He searched for a book on lycanthropy and returned it. He claimed Scott was a werewolf. His speed, agility, strength. He was a werewolf. His secrecy surrounding that night had to deal with it.

"What are you?"

"You've seen me before." He didn't allow her to respond. A jingle slipped through. One that signaled store owners they had a customer. "I have to get something of mine that was taken."

Neviah collected a notebook full of what the man taught her. Pages upon pages filled with reiterations of his words and what came from literature. Sticky notes plastered on each page, questioning how far the people she thought she could trust had fallen into this world. She feared her mind would forget it, that it would all disappear. There were signs it happened before.

Someone didn't want her to be involved. They deprived her of reality to keep her safe. She didn't believe that. She felt her brain cracking beneath her curse. They rather her become something broken to keep her from this other world.

"What if I forget all of this?" She gazed up to the moon in the dark of night. It was the first time she called him. He shockingly answered, though seemingly upset by her call. There was a male voice in the background that she couldn't distinguish.

"You won't."

"You say that, but how am I supposed to believe you?"

"Why have you believed me this whole time? You know I wouldn't lie to you."

"I...I want the whole truth. Everything. How do you really know me? Why you're doing this?" He was the only one who talked to her as if she wasn't clinically insane. "Please."

"Patience."

Which left her to today, the week of the winter formal. Being engulfed by pages of speculatory fiction, she somehow forgot to buy a dress for the formal.

She hated the winter formal dresses stores carried. From Belk's to Forever 21. They reminded her too much of the plum fairies. The current 2011 fashion trend was shit in her opinion.

Flipping through the rack of dresses, Neviah was starting to regret waiting this long. Nothing suited her. Not for that night. The man promised her that night she would learn the truth. She didn't want to be the center of attention, then someone would notice her disappearance. Maybe they would write it off as Neviah finding a fling for the night. Maybe they wouldn't have even thought of her.

The latter seemed to be truer as of late. She found herself preferring it.

She followed behind Allison and Lydia as they took the escalator to the second floor of Macy's.

"Nothing's wrong, I just have a lot on my mind," Allison proclaimed to her two friends. Her long face countered her lie, exposing her to all of it.

"You could smile at least. Both of you," Lydia added, giving Neviah a look. Neviah gave an obviously fake smile. "Ever heard of the saying, "never frown. Someone could be falling in love with your smile"?"

Neviah hummed. "No, I make them fall in love in other ways."

"Then maybe you should work on falling in love with somebody."

"I'd rather die."

Lydia rolled her eyes. She tapped Allison on her elbow. "Smile, Allison. I'm buying you a dress."

"Have to admit as far as apologies go, that's more than I expected."

The redhead smiled. It shifted as her eyes looked back at Neviah. "Did Neviah ever apologize?"

"Why are we apologizing?" Neviah asked, crossing her arms. The two had begun hanging out without her—she didn't take it to heart, she enjoyed the alone time.

That was a lie. She buried herself in research to be able to forget about the ache in her heart. These people were supposed to be her friends. Her spotlight seemed to be dimming. Was she that easy to forget?

"It's weird to have two best friends kissing my ex," Allison admitted. She narrowed her eyes to Neviah.

Something inside her pained. Allison really thought she would betray her. They both knew Lydia would at some point, but Neviah? She liked her games, but never a stab in the back. "Scott kissed me when I didn't want it. I'll apologize for confusing him, but not that."

Allison's glare faltered. "He...he didn't tell me that."

"I wasn't going to either," Neviah told, slipping between the two girls to take a look at the second floor. A smile found its way to her lips at the sight of a familiar buzz-cut boy and a girl with two low puffs, sniffing perfume.

"Well then, I guess it's just Lydia who owes me," Allison spoke aloud. The redhead stood confused. "It means you're going to cancel on whatever dumb, roided-up jock you said yes to and you're going to go with somebody else."

"Who?"

"Him."

And for some reason, Neviah was upset by that.

She forced herself to ignore it as Stiles sprayed the perfume into his face. Rapidly, he began to sneeze. She felt less upset. She had no reason to be bothered by the pairing. She tried so hard to make his feelings for Lydia real to hid who he really liked.

"Oh," Allison drew out, giving Lydia a teasing smile. "Don't frown, Lydia. Someone could be falling in love with your smile."

The two noticed the girls looking. Stiles gave an awkward wave, as Harley threw up a peace sign. If Neviah had known Allison invited them, she would have thrown herself off the building.

Instead, she used Harley as a second opinion. She was going to be her date anyway. They should at least coordinate their outfits. Holding two-midnight blue dresses, one with sequins up to her chest. "Which one, Pixie?"

"Neither."

"Correct. You passed!" Neviah clapped her hands before setting the clothes back on the rack.

The shorter girl pulled a mint green, off-the-shoulder, ruched dress. It ended below the knee—not typical winter formal attire but she liked it. It had a diamond cut out below the cups, and mint lace in the opening. "This one."

Neviah tilted her head, the vision in her mind. "I need another opinion."

"Stiles is over there," Harley told, pointing at the boy being used as a shelf by Lydia. She was also bothered by the pairing. Not that she expected Allison to read her well enough to consider pairing Harley with Lydia. There was a small twinge of hope Allison saw it. "Never mind."

"I'll wait for Allison to get out of the changing rooms to ask. Have you found a dress?"

Harley shrugged, sorting through the rack. "I'm just gonna wear something from Lia's closet."

"No," Neviah declared, turning her entire body towards Harley. "You will not wear white girl church clothes to a formal. I can't have it if your group is going to be associated with me."

Harley knitted her brows as a smile formed. "We're barely associating. Scott and Allison broke up."

"Yet, for some reason, you and him are hanging out with us."

"Fine. But you pick it."

"Oh, that was never going to not happen. No offense, your style isn't suited for formals."

"Did you just compliment me?'

"No," Neviah said shortly. "Why would I ever do that?"

She turned on her heels, seeing Allison come out of the dressing room. Then she spotted him. He neared Allison and spoke to her.

"Hey," Harley spoke out, grazing Neviah's wrist. "Scott's kind of scared of you now, but he wants to apologize. For kissing you. He...he has been having these really bad mood swings lately."

Neviah met her gaze. She pursed her lips at the thought. "Tell him if he buys me a milkshake tonight after the formal, verbally apologizes, I'll accept."

Harley nodded, but her face appeared as if she had more to say.

"Spill it, already."

"And Malikai wants to talk to you."

"Since when did you become a messenger?"

"Since you stopped talking to your friends and started talking to me." She flickered her eyes to Stiles; another person Neviah had been avoiding. Not purposefully. Her mind was elsewhere, and Stiles was never one to approach her out of the blue. "He messed up, but he wants to make it right. I don't think you can stay mad at him for long."

Neviah sighed. She had missed her best friend. Two weeks without him was like hell. No one else listened to her rants like he did. No one understood her as he did. But then again, no one had lied to her as much as he did.

"Maybe. I'll think about it." She waved her hand, signaling Harley to go. "I have to get my second opinion."

Allison ran off at the sound of the announcements calling for her car being towed. Neviah wasn't going to stop her. She maneuvered around the racks to him.

"What do you think?"

He smiled at the sight of her, like a father would to his child. "It's not extravagant enough for you, but I feel like that's what you want."

In the distance, Malikai and Scott hid behind a sign. Scott turned forward, hiding from Allison as he passed, but Mal looked back at Peter Hale.

"Fuck."

"What?" Scott asked worriedly.

Peter flickered his eyes to meet Malikai's stare. Neviah noticed his eyes go somewhere else and attempted to follow.

Mal slammed his back into Scott. The beta groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "Dude."

"Peter's talking to Neviah."

"What!?" Scott peaked over, leaning over Malikai. He pulled back, knitting his thick brows. "No one's there."

He was right. When Malikai looked back over, no one was there.

Then Scott flinched. Malikai didn't need to ask to know that Peter was talking to him. Somewhere, out of sight, threatening yet another innocent bystander.

Peter tangled Derek into his shit by manipulating him. Hale pack problems, which meant Damian and Kory refused to interfere. Now, he was messing with Neviah. He utilized Malikai's absence to bring Neviah into his trap. What did he gain from it? Angering Damian? Did Peter want a fight between Alphas? Power-hunger bastard. He killed his own niece, why not start a civil war?

Leaning his head against the sign, Malikai groaned. But if he was involving Neviah, Damian would have to do something. That was his daughter. Regardless of his respect for the Hale pack. Not after the fire. Not after everything.

Nervously, Malikai made a call to a werewolf he knew could fix this.

༻❁༺

Adorn in the mint green dress, Neviah shakily stepped out of Harley's car—which was really her dad's, who let her borrow it for the night. Lia and he spent ten minutes taking photos of the girls. For a moment, Neviah felt like a little girl again. At her side, she had a sneaky troublemaker to coincide with her persuasion and knowledge. They were a pair once more.

"You're never driving me. Like ever!"

"It wasn't that bad," Harley exclaimed, slamming the door. She walked around the front, wearing the short, black dress Neviah picked out for her. It had lace sleeves with black roses stitched into them. Butterfly locs cascaded behind her. "I only failed my test like twice."

"Never!"

"Jackson," Lydia spoke, gaining Neviah's attention. She and Stiles arrived at the same time, parking nearby. They looked mismatched together. "You look handsome."

"Obviously," Jackson replied like an answer. His ego exploded ever since he broke up with Lydia. Neviah had plans to bring him back down to reality, but Lydia denied her. The strawberry blonde was clinging to the idea he would come back to her.

Stiles wore a simple black suit and tie. All from his father's closet. He didn't match Lydia at all, not even a corsage. His eyes followed Jackson and Allison, before falling back on Lydia. Adoration filled his eyes. Pink flushed his cheeks on the winter night.

Neviah didn't know why she cared. He could do whatever he wanted for all that mattered. It was a fling—multiple but still. It was nothing more than a no-strings-attached agreement. They weren't friends. They weren't anything.

They weren't anything. She was saving him.

A hand grasped Neviah's bicep. "I'm surprised he said yes to her."

"What?" Neviah looked down at Harley, furrowing her eyebrows. "He's liked her for forever. Of course, he was going to say yes. Are you jealous, Pixie?"

"You know that's an act right?"

"Possibly but it stems from somewhere, doesn't it?"

Harley gave her a look. She read Neviah's face, wondering how the girl who knew everything didn't see it. The two started towards the entrance, linked in arms. "When was the last time you opened your locker?"

"I never open it."

Harley raised her eyebrows. "You should."

Neviah didn't understand. Then again. She stopped understanding Harley a long time ago. Regretfully. Was it too late to start again, she often wondered?

Arm in arm as they had done when they were younger, only missing two other sets of arms. A part of her felt like it came back. A piece of a girl she used to be.

Harley parted ways with Neviah at the sight of Scott. Someone who was on academic probation and was not supposed to be at the dance.

Neviah didn't pay it any mind. Instead, she joined Greenburg, allowing the empty-headed jock to fill her drink up with liquor. She stuck to herself, periodically checking her phone for a call.

She had craved normalcy for so long, but the moment she got it back she didn't want it anymore. It felt wrong. It felt like something bad was going to happen. What good was there in being a king if you had no allies?

That feeling festered inside of her for too long.

"Hey, stranger."

Her eyes flickered upward to Malikai. His natural hair color returned. He slicked back, beside a single strand that fell over his face. His eye bags had filled in. Some light returned to his eyes. He wore a black suit, unbuttoned, revealing his white button-up.

"Hey." She took a sip from her cup.

"Can I sit?" He pointed beside her. He didn't try to push her. Not once.

She nodded. Taking another big sip as Mal inhaled. A speech readied in his mind. It rested on the tip of his tongue. Just as he was about to confess, Neviah stopped him.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know any of it was going to happen." Neviah didn't look at him as she spoke. She couldn't. She had thought out the night over the past days. Attempting to understand the what ifs of the situation. She came out empty-handed. "You couldn't have been there for me without possibly risking your life."

A beat passed. "Do you hate me?"

"I couldn't even if I tried."

She could feel a smile playing on his lips.

Turning her head, she saw him. The boy who stood by her after the fire. After everything he lost. He never left her. His action may have been misguided, but he had to have a reason. He never wanted to hurt her. She knew that.

"Why are you hanging out with that guy?" he asked, a smile still on his lips to ease the weight of the question. "He's not a good person."

Neviah tore her eyes away. They wandered around the room of dancing teenagers and flashing lights. "You can't always protect me."

"I have to."

Looking at him, her shoulders dropped. "You can't."

She felt it inside of her. Alarm bells ringing. That was the sound. The song that lured her in. The sound that happened when she was near that man. "You can't be in two places at once."

Neviah stood up, walking away from him. There was nothing left to say. At least for now. Once the man told her the truth, she could confide in Mal again. They could speak as they used to. She would be able to understand why he hid everything from her.

Music continued to roll in, entering the systems of the hopelessly infatuated teenagers, giving them enough courage to ask their date to dance. Whether it was by force or want, couples stumbled onto the dance floor.

"Shouldn't you be comforting, depressed girls who were ditched?" Stiles inquired playfully, tipping his blue solo cup towards her with his other hand tucked in his pocket.

Neviah rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. "Well, it seems that this year there is more competition, who are a bit faster than me." Stiles laughed.

She tapped her pink solo cup with her acrylic nail, flickering her eyes down to his messy tie. An airy chuckle escaped her with a smile sneaking in. Neviah sat down her cup as she stood up and walked to him.

"What?" he asked, knitting his brows as his breathing paused due to their closeness.

"Your tie is done incorrectly," she huffed, pretending to be annoyed. She undid the piece of cloth, staring at it intently as she made sure the right side was higher than the left before looking up at him. He was already watching her.

For once, it threw her off.

But she buried it in her eyes before he caught it. "Why aren't you dancing with your date?"

Stiles scoffed at Lydia's label. "She, uh, doesn't want to dance. She's been sitting this whole time and only talking about the bad outfit choices," he explained, talking with his hands. His face flushed at their proximity. It had been some time since they were last this close. She felt his breath hitch against her nose.

"She's Lydia," Neviah started, crossing one side over the other, then again but under. "You need to be assertive with her. Sure, she acts like she's the one in charge, and she is," she added, giving him a pointed look, "but, she likes it when someone makes the first push."

He continued to watched her as if she was observing a piece of art in an exhibit. An innocent bystander in an exhibit meant to be used to inspect pieces of art, but his eyes found something better. Stiles found it ironic. He went to the dance with his head clouded with anxiety. The last thing he wanted was to mess up on his first date, yet it didn't feel right. His date wasn't who he wanted.

Neviah continued, not noticing his gaze, "You're a better person than Jackson. Like, waaay better." She giggled, with a sunshine smile. She finished the tie, finalizing it by making it tighter. They locked eyes. Neviah never noticed how beautiful his eyes were before.

"So, Mieczysław, go ask the girl you like out on a dance."

The words left a bad taste in her mouth once they left. Sickening her stomach till it twisted. It was a rotten feeling. It festered inside her bones, turning them into rot.

"Will—"

Her phone rang. She hesitated. The ring cut Stiles off.

He swallowed down his words. Regret flashed in his eyes. "You should take it."

"Good luck," she told him, but there were invisible words that rested on her tongue. A part of her knew what he was going to say. That part of her wanted to hear it. It didn't make much sense. If she wanted him to be spared from her disease, why did she fail to play her part?

Asking him for the truth tempted her. He was tangled in the center of it all due to his best friend. He would never let Scott deal with his problems on his own. She wanted to believe she could trust him.

Somewhere in her, she wanted to pull the favor card and ask him for the truth. He would give it to her.

But it was too late.

"Are you ready?" Peter Hale asked over the phone.

Neviah Degrace had already started walking towards the dangerous truth, while Stiles Stilinski forced Harley to ask a beautiful strawberry blonde for a dance. He couldn't hide behind a lie anymore. He liked Neviah. Always had. It wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried.

Edited: 11/13/2024