AU of "Hideaway" by BlueSilkwing, go check @BlueSilkwing out! All credit to Blue, such a great writer, so underrated plzzzz go read Hideaway!

I'm very emotionally attached to Tommy. 

This takes place near chapter 10 in Hideaway.

WARNING: STRICTLY PLATONIC

also super cringy this is so OOC unlike Hideaway where Blue did such a good job portraying the characters accurately-

GO CHECK OUT HIDEAWAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL GO GO GO 

-

That night, Tommy did not sleep.

How could he, knowing that he might die tomorrow?

And that he'd see Tubbo again -- Tommy's heart ached, thinking about his Tubbo. He knew that he couldn't think about him, at least not now, when the battle was incoming, but his Tubbo entered his thoughts. He thought about everything they did together, about all the times he had protected his Tubbo from harm, how he'd do anything for Tubbo. Now he was expected to fight him.

And he remembered one thing, so suddenly he sat upright on his bed, thinking about it.

The promise.

He'd promised Tubbo, he'd promised him that day after Technoblade had executed him in Schlatts festival, that he'd never let anything - or anyone - harm him again. He had held him tight, letting Tubbo's head rest against his beating heart, and promised.

"Don't worry, Tubbo. As long as I'm alive, I won't let anything happen to you. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

Tubbo's eyes had lit up and he had smiled, an inkling of the ditsy, kind Tubbo he knew poking out from the black curtain that had forced Tubbo into apathy.

And Tommy fulfilled that promise. He followed Tubbo everywhere, and when he wasn't following Tubbo, Tubbo was following him. They would always be together after that, never letting anything happen to each other.

Until Tubbo became president, of course. By then they had drifted apart, Tommy growing more and more infatuated with his discs and Tubbo busy with his presidential work.

He knew. He knew that if Tubbo became president, they would drift apart. He knew that, yet he still let him lead, because he couldn't bring himself to break his happiness when Wilbur had made him president. In a way, this was his fault-

No. This wasn't his fault, it was all Tubbo's because he had exiled him.

That's what Tommy told himself as he laid back down, but in his beating heart, he knew that it wasn't true.

He just wanted Tubbo back in his arms again.

-

"You promised me his death," Tubbo interrupted suddenly. "You told me I could have him dead."

A thousand thoughts ran through Tommy's head as he stared into Tubbo's cold, dark eyes.

He wanted me dead.

Of course. Tommy should have seen it sooner- the way that Tubbo had stabbed him that day, the way that his sword scraped his throat... Tommy's hand raised to stroke his throat, convincing himself that he wasn't dead, that Tubbo hadn't killed him and that Dream had stopped him before he got the chance too. But Tommy had no doubt that if Dream hadn't said so, his Tubbo would've pressed his sword into Tommy's throat and killed him.

And Tommy wouldn't have been mad if he did. No, he deserved it, didn't he? In less than a second, he knew. He had hurt Tubbo, oh, he had hurt Tubbo so much. He had forgotten the promise, and now karma was coming back to bite him.

Dream turned to face his ally. "Well, Tubbo plans change, in the-"

"Tubbo!" Tommy said. And suddenly a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. His best friend turned to him as Dream's voice died down. All three looked at him expectantly.

"Tubbo, please, listen-"

"We've been through this before, Tommy." Tubbo's voice was bored, exasperated. "I told you, I'm not listening to anything you're going to say-"

No point of stalling then. "Tubbo, kill me," he said bluntly.

All three people gawked at him.

Tubbo's expression changed for a moment, and immediately Tommy knew he had struck a chord in him. Tubbo's mask fell and it revealed a scared, vulnerable Tubbo that Tommy needed to protect, that Tommy had promised to protect and had failed him-

But in a millisecond Tubbo recovered, his cold stare looking disapprovingly at him. "Do elaborate."

I promised. And I'll fulfill that promise, no matter what. I'm not failing you again. "Tubbo, do you know what Dream did to me in exile? He f***ing tortured me, man. He blew up everything I had, every day, Tubbo. H-he manipulated me, and he's manipulating you, Tubbo please-"

"I don't see that has to do with your death," Tubbo said menacingly. He fiddled around with a knife, twisting it around as if it were some kind of toy.

If it were any other situation, Tommy would have told Tubbo to stop playing with a weapon or else he'd hurt himself. But this was not any other situation. "Let me finish."

Tubbo smiled. "Sure, big man."

Tommy suppressed the urge to smack Tubbo in the face, albeit playfully. Of course, if he did smack Tubbo right now, he'd die and he wouldn't be able to apologize to his best friend.

"Tubbo, I promised, remember? I promised to keep you safe, Tubbo. And Dream's hurting you. He's manipulating you and he's using you, Tubbo. A-and you want to kill me and the only reason you're working with him is that you want me dead-"

"How would you know if it were the only reason?" Tubbo raised an eyebrow, a sinister smirk emerging on his face.

"I know you, Tubbo. You wouldn't join Dream for anything else. Tubbo, if you want me dead, just do it, okay? But you have to promise me that you'll get the hell away from Dream and never speak to him again, alright? He's only going to hurt you, Tubbo, and I don't want you to go through the same things that I went through in exile-"

Tommy cut himself off. Tubbo had grown strangely quiet. There was a surprised expression on Techno's face and Dream looked like he was trying not to laugh.

Tubbo looked conflicted, which confused Tommy. This shouldn't be conflicting, Tommy knew Tubbo and he knew that in this case, he would kill him without hesitation-

"Seems like you don't know me as well as you thought you did, Tommy." Tubbo's voice was off. It was still devastatingly apathetic and cold, but there was a hint of disappointment, or fear, or even remorse if Tommy dared hope. He hated that he couldn't read Tubbo as well anymore, that he couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Tommy was such an idiot. Of course. This was Tubbo he was talking about! He let out a laugh, and everyone else stared in confusion, as if they thought he was going mad. And he might as well be, based on what he was about to do. "Sorry, Tubbo. I forgot. I shouldn't make you kill someone- I know you can't handle it. Remember when you couldn't even kill that mosquito that bit you twice? You can't hurt a fly, I'm sorry, Tubbo, I forgot..."

Tubbo just gave him a blank stare, which quite frankly hurt very much, but Tommy would have preferred it this way. No reaction, just a stare... More time to apologize for everything.

"I'm so sorry, Tubbo. This was all my fault, I- I didn't mean what I said. The discs are stupid. Tubbo, you were always worth more than anything in the world. Two pieces of plastic can't compare to that, Tubbo." Tommy felt tears form in his eyes and he let them out, the clear liquid glistening in the torchlight as it slid down his cheek. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to, Tubbo. I- do you see why killing me now would be the best course of action? Dream won't hurt you. I won't hurt you. You'll be safe."

"Tommy-" Technoblade tried to cut in but Dream shushed him, punching the Blood God in the gut. He didn't stop though. "Tommy, are you serious right now? This green dude..." He glanced at Dream. "I mean the second green dude betrayed you and tried to kill you multiple times!"

Tommy looked back at Tubbo. His best friend's face was still blank, his gaze not at Tommy but somewhere else, maybe the floor? "Tubbo, Tubbo can you hear me?"

"Tommy," Tubbo croaked out. His eyes immediately widened and his persona clicked back on, hatred entering back into his gaze. But Tommy knew now, he knew that it was fake.

"Tubbo, you just have to promise that after I'm dead, you'll stay out of any drama, okay? Don't get yourself hurt because I won't be around to protect you anymore. Live a long, happy life for me, okay, Tubso?" Oh, Tommy missed calling him that. His Tubso. "A-and when we've finally reunited, I want you to tell me all the stories you collected over the years. I'm sure you'll have so much to tell me, being an old man and all that. Okay?"

Tommy knew it was a lie. He knew that this was probably all just a fantasy and when they did meet again, Tubbo would've probably forgotten all about him. But Tommy was fine with it. He was fine with it as long as Tubbo was happy.

"Tommy, stop being dramatic. Enough. Techno, make sure he doesn't try anything. We're bringing him to the prison."

Immediately, Tommy whipped out his knife that he had hidden in his pocket and pressed it against his heart to show that he was serious. Everyone stopped, especially Tubbo, who froze again.

"Tommy-" Tubbo's voice was so small, so pathetic. Tommy was sorry he couldn't envelop his Tubbo into his arms right now, comforting him with his promise.

Tubbo's eyes glanced at the discs, which still laid on display, then back at Tommy.

Tommy felt the blade of the knife piercing his skin, pain shooting at his brain, pleading for him to stop. He refused to pull away, though. He needed to do this. For Tubbo.

Maybe then Tubbo will forgive me. He thought. Maybe he'll attend my funeral.

Tommy imagined Tubbo at his funeral, dancing on his grave, happy that he was dead and gone. And Tommy wouldn't care, because Tubbo was happy and smiling and that's all he needed.

Techno was shaking his head profusely and he stepped towards Tommy, probably to try to convince him not to do it, or maybe take the knife away from him, but Tommy would never know, because before anyone could do anything, Tommy pressed harder, and the knife entered his heart.

He could feel himself collapse, he could feel Techno screaming and Dream gasping, but not Tubbo. No, Tubbo was silent, deathly silent.

Tommy's blue eyes stared at his Tubbo's and Tubbo finally relented, tears spilling out of his eyes. And Tommy knew why he had been so silent now. He had been holding back tears.

"Smile for me," Tommy pleaded. His vision was swimming and his head felt heavy. "Smile, Tubbo. Please. I want the last thing I see to be you."

And Tubbo gave him a pained smile, and then his consciousness floated away, gone. His body went slack and suddenly Tommy felt himself pulled away from earth, pulled away from his Tubbo.

It didn't matter, because Tubbo was safe.