Recap:

So Jeff finally came out of the closet and confessed to you. It took Hitler's entire army to do so, but whatevs. You weren't even interested in him, really. Until you found out that he downloaded your favorite app. Dat boi always knew how to make you go cray-cray.

~Y~

"PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF RAMEN, TELL ME WHAT TEAM YOU'RE ON."

"No," Jeff sighed. "There's a two-thirds chance I didn't pick your team, and I don't feel like dying today."

You stared at your reflection and made some funny faces to yourself. You were hoping that a certain someone would ask to take a photo of you because of the amazingly awesome outfit you were wearing, so you were striking some future poses. The hat you were wearing and the jacket fitted snug around your torso matched your in-game character's perfectly, and you had no doubt that Jeff was jealous. He accidentally made his character a girl when he signed up.

You debated throwing on your Mystic shirt underneath your jacket, but then you would be too hot. Besides, you already had blue sneakers on. It was obvious which team you were on.

"Just remember, Jeff," you warned. "You're either on Team Mystic or Team Mistake. Valor is vomit and Instinct just stinks. Kay?"

He honestly didn't care. He just agreed to tag along when your friend said she was going to put a Lure Module on the Poké Stop outside the strip club. You were so excited, you had to dress up for the occasion. Shaniquaqui was so popular, she was able to schedule an official Pokémon Go meet up. Your entire city was going to be there!

"I cannot believe you put on that stupid outfit-"

"DUDE, DUDE, DUDE, THERE IS A CHARIZARD NEARBY!" you screamed.

"You tried to take pics of me naked catching one of those the other day," Jeff bickered. He looked thoroughly pissed. It took every mental strain in your membrane not to laugh at his pouty face.

You replied, "No, I was trying to catch Pikachu. A peek at chu dick- I MEAN WHAT?"

The strip club was located near the anime convention Jeff wouldn't let you go to. It was calling you during the entire meetup. It was calling you like a cannibal with its charm and good looks. You were so susceptible to gorgeous individuals, and your love for them was overwhelming. Just like your love for catching Pokémon. Maybe that's the only thing that saved you from becoming one of those cannibals yourself. Oshiete.

You saw so many people wearing shirts representing their team, and you were quick to realize that Mystic was the most popular team. It had already taken over all the gyms in your area and you were proud to call yourself the leader of one of them. Of course, Laquilaqui was the strip club gym leader. Who else was slutty enough? Definitely not you. You were just the best friend. The best friend that caught Pokémon instead of dates.

"Do you think that there will be a Shellder here? I mean, there is a lake and everything, so there should be some water-type Pokémon lurking around. The lures will probably help with that. Do you think?" you rambled.

"Uh-huh."

You caught a glimpse of Jeff's phone and noticed something very important. He wasn't on a team.

"OH MY GLOB."

"What-?"

"YOU'RE NOT LEVEL FIVE YET."

"No, I'm actually not-"

"What a frEAKING NOOB. I can't believe you are so far behind. The game has been out for like a week, man! Have you been living under a Poké Ball this whole time?!"

You were laughing your ass off at this point trying to understand why the guy who's been living with a person like you wasn't at least a level eight on Pokémon Go. Well, you did hack into the system and change your stats to level 999999, but that's another story for another day. You would have to reset the world to hear it. But any normal person without OP hacking (Flowey) skills would have passed level five a long time ago. Maybe Jeff just ran out of Poké Balls and couldn't get to a Poké Stop? But maybe he just didn't want to! Oh, you were gonna have some problems with him.

"Okay, this Pokémon Go shit is driving me crazy. I'm sick and fucking tired of it!" Jeff yelled. "You can go take your stupid fucking Poké Balls and shove them up your Bellsprout asshole!"

"You didn't have to say that..." you muttered.

"This shit has more hype than Corpse Fucking Party, for Hitler's sake. It's freaking Seiko, if you know what I mean. And I hate it! I would rather do that Sachiko Ever After shit and drag you to Heavenly Host! At least you wouldn't be able to catch Pokémon there!"

"I..." you mumbled. "I HATE YOU, YOU BAKA!"

"FINE!" Jeff shouted. "I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE HATE ME. It fills me with despair."

"Hope," you corrected.

"Komaeda, get oUT-"

He cut himself off. He knew he was taking it too far. Shunning your hopes and dreams was uncalled for. You had to be the very best like no one ever was. You had to catch them as a test and train them for your cause. You had to travel across the land searching far and wide, and catch each Pokémon to understand the power that's inside. It was your fate- your destiny- that was so set in stone that nothing anyone did would ever have an effect on your Pokémon catching life.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA!" you cried. "I HATE YOU AND YOUR BANANA SHAPED SMILE AND YOUR MOZZARELLA EYEBALLS AND YOUR PLAIN-ASS WHITE JACKET AND YOUR STUPID MEXICAN ACCENT AND-"

"Mexican accent-?"

"YES, YOU HAVE A FUCKING MEXICAN ACCENT IN MY EARS!"

Or maybe it was the voice in your head telling you to kill everyone around you. It always made anime puns when you weren't expecting them. It was the worst when you were in the middle of a conversation and that voice brought up anything costing an arm and a leg.

"Okay, I'll just swim across that lake then and cross the fucking border. The water is alive. I'll never doubt what it makes me feel... Free," Jeff remarked.

"You're a freaking seaweeb," you mumbled.

"And you're a Titan. I swim all day while you eat rawmen and get fat."

And that was the conversation that ended the car ride. Your driver, Marco, didn't hear half of it since he only had one ear. That was good, since you paid him in coupons to Jean's pizza. Buy two get the third half-off. Anyways, you and Jeff had a splendid time at the meet up talking to other people on Team Mystic and to cosplayers that strayed from the anime convention nearby. Hundreds of people showed up at that strip club, so you ended up leaving early, cutting your time in half, when it got too crowded. The best part was that the pizza shop next door supported Pokémon Go players!

What a wonderful augmented-reality world you lived in.