Tw: Abuse, unsympathetic Patton, brief mention of choking (this is a bit of a rough chapter and if it's too much you can skip it (: )

Deceit had a relaxed but happy look on his face as he sat around the picnic table. He was idly listening to the twins and Virgil talking about the new Pixar movie. Roman was talking about the good message and the animation and was bitching just a tad bit about the bad parts while Remus was coming up with all the ways the film could have been much better in his opinion (aka bloodier). Virgil was trying to make the message seem as dark as possible just to annoy his fiancee.

The sun was out and it was nice to just sit with his friends and relax. He was absolutely exhausted but he'd much rather be here than to take a nap. Patton was sitting next to him on the left and Logan was on his right.

Suddenly he felt a hand grabbing onto the top part of his thigh. He tensed up but calmed down a little bit when he realized it was just his boyfriend. Dee wanted to move his hand away but he always grabbed on harder and joked about it when they were home alone so he didn't even say anything against it. Deceit stared down into the table as shame took over. He hoped no one saw it. He knew if they did Patton would joke about it being Dee's idea.

Deceit kept zoning in and out of the conversation, he wanted to listen but he was so tired. He'd kept being woken up last night and then he was scared to go to sleep. He didn't want to wake up to his mouth being used f̶o̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶p̶u̶r̶p̶o̶s̶e̶ again.

Eventually he fell asleep for just a moment and his head slammed down into the table which got everyone's attention to say the least.

"Are you like good?" Virgil asked.

He did a thumbs up while trying to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.

Patton laughed "Cutie didn't I tell you not to stay up all night playing that silly mobile game" He titled his head while smiling.

"Right, whoops didn't think about that" He lied.

Everyone went back to the conversation and Deceit went back to being tired. One second he was sitting up and the next he was laying with his head in Logan's lap. Dee's usual hat had been taken off the nerd was softly running his fingers through his hair. 

He knew Patton wouldn't like it but Logan was so comfortable and soothing and....safe while he was so exhausted. Static was filling his brain and he couldn't fight it anymore. He saw Logan flash him a smile before his eyelids closed.

When he woke up again he was sitting in the front seat of his boyfriend's car. They were moving and he had his seatbelt on.

"Great, you're awake. Logan carried you to the car since we all thought if you're so tired you might as well sleep at home" He explained while not taking his eyes off the road.

"Oh...oh right" Deceit mumbled out the reply.

It was quiet for the rest of the way home. It was a tense kind of quiet, the snake could feel it. He knew he'd done something wrong. His mind wandered to which lies he could use to ease the lash out but he shook his head to get them away. It was fine he told himself, he was just paranoid.

Patton was still quiet as he entered the apartment. He calmly pulled off his jacket and hung it up and he waited until his boyfriend had done the same. He smiled as he leaned closer and kissed him.

Deceit's back got pressed into the wall as their lips meet. Patton moved his hands up around his waist while the snake laid his arms around his shoulders to move him closer. He closed his eyes and let the moment melt away into one of total bliss. Unbeknownst to him the other man's baby blue eyes got small and cold as the kiss continue.

Patton broke apart from the kiss and put on a hurt look. Without a word he walked away and sat down on the couch. Deceit leaned over the seat cushions and pressed quick kisses against his neck.

"What is it darling?" He asked between kisses.

"You were thinking about someone else while kissing me weren't you? I get it really. I mean that explains why you didn't want to-"

"Please dear let us leave that to last night. I was tired simple as that. I don't always have the energy to do whatever you want" Deceit sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh! So I have to do everything to try and make you happy but you don't have to do the same" Patton shot his arms out as his volume rose. "You don't even have a job! How can you even be tired"

"That is absolutely what I said" He grumbled out the lie while ignoring the fact that it was Patton who made him quit his job so they could spend more time together.

"I mean I keep this place clean, I cook every day and I work but apparently I have to be perfect!"

"You already are perfect. If you were tired i wouldn't make you do anything you didn't want either" He ignored the fact that the other man didn't do the same. He ignored the memories of waking up to hands against hi-

"How am I even supposed to trust you when all you do is lie! I mean it's obvious you're interested in somebody else!" Patton exclaimed while standing up.

"It's definitely not like I'm allowed to talk to people without you getting jealous" Deceit argued back.

"Dee-ar please you don't 'talk' to people, you're one step away from sucking food waste from their mouths!"

"OH OH so first you get annoyed over me saying no last night but now you're annoyed over me being light on the foot. Maybe try deciding on one thing"

"It's a difference between me being annoyed over My BOyfriend apparently not wanting me and you first coming back from Logan much later than you were supposed to and now you feel asleep in his lap! I mean it's obvious you love him more than me!"

"Darling you should get help because this paranoia isn't doing anything good for you" Deceit couldn't help but get salty.

"The only reason I'm paranoid is because all you ever do is lie"  Patton was nearly yelling.

"I literally can't help it! I am not trying not to. See I definitely could stop that"

"No no no! You're just a disgusting worthless liar who's made everyone believe that. You have everyone wrapped around your finger and one day you'll turn them against me, I just know it! But I love you so much I can't leave you"

The argument went on and on and there didn't seem to be any end it. There never seemed to be an end. Patton went back and forth across the carpet while yelling while Deceit stayed leaned behind the couch with his arms wrapped around himself. He would flinch when it got to loud and for good reason.

"Don't you understand that you hurt me!" Patton shouted.

"At least I don't hit you!" Deceit yelled back. He took a step back as he immediately knew he'd gone too far.

He flinched away just in time so the green vase Patton threw didn't hit him.

"Is that what you're telling the others? My friends? Are you lying to them behind my back" He cried out as tears formed in his eyes.

"No no no I'm sorry I would never" Deceit desperately answered.

"No one would ever believe you, you do realize that right?" He bit off "I'm innocent and good everyone knows that, you're just a rotten liar"

"I know b-but I can't keep being with you if you keep hurting me like this"

"Like this? LIKE THIS" Patton yelled it out "You're the one hurting me! You're always accusing me of something! You never do anything to make me happy! And now you don't even want to be with me?!"

This time when Patton threw a cup Deceit wasn't fast enough to move. It hit him over his right eye before falling down on the floor and shattering just like his heart had shattered so many times.

Deceit was unable to move as what had happened slowly became real to him. He moved his hand up to his eye to try and feel what damage had been done this time.

"Are you going to clean that up or are you going to make me do it?" Patton asked while watching on.

"Sorry" He mumbled out as he sat down. He tried to pick up the pieces but his hands kept shaking making the sharp edges get stuck in his hands. Blood dripped out.

"You're going to get blood on the carpet if you continue" Patton commented while taking a brush and going to clean it up "Go wash it off"

"Sorry" It was seemingly the only thing He could get out.

"It's alright love. You just made me so angry but it's better now. I swear you could turn saints to sinners" he chuckled at the end. he caressed Deceit's chin as he said "I love you" Before pressing a kiss to his eye.

"Love you too" He responded with a shaky voice as he stood up.

He went to the bathroom. The water turned red as he washed his hands. The warm water made the wounds sting. He took a cloth and wetted it before pressing it to his eye, he desperately hoped it would make him wake up without a black eye.

Deceit smiled into the mirror and practiced the lies for tomorrow in case he had to meet up with someone and they asked about the bruise "Oh I dropped my phone on my face at like 3 am, It's nothing"

He shook his head before trying again "My boyfriend and I tried out something new last night" he winked.

He facepalmed at how horrible that lie was and how gross it made him feel "Oh this? I actually have a medical disorder that makes me easily bruise. I walked into a tree and whoops got a black eye"

Deceit gave up. He let out a long sigh as he leaned onto the sink. All the energy had gone out of him.

He looked up instead deciding to practice a few other lies. Of course he didn't think he was lying "I deserved it" He said while his finger felt where the skin was already starting to bruise.

"It would have been worrying if he didn't allow me to leave the apartment or see my friends but he does, it's not abuse" He shook his head "Most of the time he lets me leave, I mean if I have a good reason at least"

"It was my fault, he had every right to do it. He doesn't really hit me he just he just....gets so emotional! And I love that about him! I love it more when he gets overly happy but this is just a part of him"

He sighed once more before continuing.

"I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I didn't accept every part of Patton"

He flinched when he saw the door opening through the mirror. His boyfriend came in and quickly pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry cutie. Wanna watch some cartoons? I can get you some ice for the eye" Patton said while pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Sure, thank you"

He let himself he moved to the couch. The coldness from the ice helped to ground him in reality but it still felt like his brain was out floating 2 meters behind his body. When warm arms held him in a cuddle he knew technically that it was his body being cuddled but it all felt like a dream, a nightmare.

His gaze kept going to the door while his self preservation yelled at him to leave. To run and start over somewhere else. But his self preservation was stomped down by his loyalty which yelled just as loudly that Patton loved him and would hurt himself if he left. He couldn't hurt him like that.

It all became such a loud blur of yelling he completely zoned out. He didn't even know what cartoon they were watching.

He had actually tried to leave once. Around 6 months back he'd quietly packed his bags and tried to tell his boyfriend that they were breaking up in the nicest way possible so he wouldn't get too sad. He'd planned what to say for weeks. Patton had taken it surprisingly well. He'd smiled and waved as he opened the door.

The moment Deceit had turned his back a belt had been strung around his neck and he was pulled back in. He had gasped for breath while being dragged. The memory was hazy, fear had  made the situation blurry.

There had been yelling and threats about hanging him with a belt and threats about Patton hanging himself with the belt and crying and somehow it ended up with Deceit soothing his partner. He'd woken up with ugly bruises around his neck that wouldn't disappear for weeks.

Patton squished his cheek into his and hugged him tighter which forced Deceit out of his memories. 

"You know I would never hurt you willingly right?" He said with a smile while tilting his head.

"I know" The lie was so familiar, so usual he didn't even thinking before saying it.

Patton kissed him deeply, lightly pressing him down against the couch cushions. Dee's hands grasped at the uncomfortable material to stop his body from tensing up.

"I love you so so so much cutie!" He exclaimed "You can not even imagine!! You're the love of my life! I'll never let you go!"

Deceit knew it wasn't a lie.