He struggled to breathe, the rusty scent of blood was overwhelming as it flooded his nose. The horror around him slowly unfolded, as the crimson site sent chills down his spine. Flowerstripe gave another shallow, raspy breath as he coughed out droplets of blood. The taste burned his maw.

        He quickly brought up his paw to wipe away the thick red fluid, but jumped at the startled sight of his paws stained scarlet. He twisted his limb to clearly take in the sight. A puddle mysteriously appeared in front of him and he peered forward, curious. He noticed his muzzle was stained with blood and patches of the color were splattered across his beautiful lilac pelt.

        "No-" he choked as another fit of coughing took over.

         Slowly, ghost-like bodies painted the misty scene, all stained red. The scent of sickness and blood was crushing and he felt like a boulder was on his shoulders. Flowerstripe's mind raced as his gaze flitted between the lifeless felines.

        The echo of coughing suddenly became louder as it rang across the hollow. The trees around him grew and covered the sky and all was dark but the atmosphere was still tinted red. He flattened his ears, desperately trying to block away the husky coughing. Soon, it was too much as it took over his other senses, leaving him blind of his surroundings.

         Cracked voices began closing in, interrupted by the endless wheezing.

         'Why didn't you do anything Flowerstripe'

         'You could have prevented this'

         'How could you leave us here to die'

         'She would have listened to you'

         One voice, though, stood out among the rest. Flowerstripe slowly opened his eyes as he was presented with a medium-furred tan feline with vibrant pine green eyes.

         "Cypresspaw..." The medicine cat breathed. He leaned forward and tried to muzzle the apprentice, but Cypresspaw quickly stepped back. The apprentice looked down, but the anger radiating from them was inevitable.

         They gritted, "How could you! All these cats are dead! Because of YOU."

         Flowerstripe winced, shutting his eyes close, the sight of his apprentice reminding him of his failure was suffocating. He opened his maw to reason, but no words left. He looked into his apprentice's gaze and tried again, "Cypresspaw... please."

         They said nothing as a fit of coughing took over. A pool of blood began rising from under them and they collapsed

         The medicine cat froze, memories began infiltrating their mind. No. No. No. No. No! He gasped as he was whisked out of his dream and into his den again. A blurry figure appeared in front of him and he slowly blinked to regain visibility.

         "Oh the stars! Thank Starclan you're all right! Your breathing was so shallow, you kept fidgeting in your sleep, you started sweating, and murmuring something about; Cypresspaw?" Splashpaw, his new apprentice, began pacing around the den as though some terrible tragedy had struck again. But Flowerstripe didn't blame her, she had seen too much from over the moons.

        Still lost in thought, he just simply mewed, "Oh." Slowly blinking and returning to the physical world, he straightened up and instructed, "Can you give Gooseflight his daily dose of herbs? I- have something to do. Oh, and, be careful." Minnowstar had been rationing the herbs, and only using them in cases of high importance. She claimed it was a test to only have the fittest of cats survive. So Flowerstripe and Splashpaw would pass out some herbs in secret.

         Splashpaw gave him a peculiar glance but said nothing as she began snatching some leaves, seeds, and roots from their stock and wrapping them into a bundle.

         Flowerstripe gazed into camp and slowly got to his paws. An itching feeling tingled in his pelt and he cautiously began padding out of camp and into the thin grove of aspen trees that surrounded camp. He wandered deeper into their territory until the bustling sounds of cats could no longer be heard, and prey would be plentiful.

        The delectable taste of swallow hit his nose, causing him to lift his muzzle up and open his jaws to intake the scent even more. He followed the scent trail, trying to pinpoint the exact location. Soon, he came up to a young aspen tree, whose branches were slim and short, too small to climb. A light gray swallow with a white underbelly and black tipped wings stared into Flowerstripe's hazel eyes warily.

         As he took another step forward, his left forepaw hit some fallen leaves, shattering the silence and chasing away the bird to an older, much stronger tree. Perfect. Though the medicine cat wasn't exactly 'skilled' at hunting, he knew some techniques used by Shadeclan warriors.

         Flowerstripe climbed up a nearby tree and eyed the bird, careful of his every move. The swallow just lifted its right wing and straightened its feathers, unknowing that it was being stalked. He braced himself and leaped onto the branch where the prey was and landed right next to the bird. Instinctively, it flapped its wings rapidly and slowly took to the air. But Flowerstripe, had the element of surprise and gave a small jump and he clasped the swallow in his jaws and shook it as he bit its neck to make sure it was dead. Thank you Starclan for this prey. Though, he still felt guilty. The use for this piece of prey wouldn't make Starclan proud.

         The medicine cat gingerly descended from the aspen until he was firmly on the ground. Flowerstripe unsheathed his claws and began prodding and digging at the dirt next to the tree, making a pit big enough for the swallow. He placed the prey delicately in, and covered it again with the moist soil. Flowerstripe then dropped four pebbles onto the area, with one more on top to mark where he had left the bird for later.

         The river also should be flourishing with fish this season. Flowerstripe navigate his way through the woods to the edge of their territory where a large bustling river was placed. He traveled to Shadeclan's traditional hunting spot; a stone which had a tall aspen tree looming over it. Because of the tree already casting a shadow over the water, cats didn't have to worry about their own shadow being visible to the fish.

         After waiting for about forty-five minutes, six little prey bodies became visible underneath the liquid. Jolting up, Flowerstripe aggressively pushed his paw into the water, unsheathed his claws, and grabbed the drum out of the water and finished it with a killing bite. Luck was on his side today, two catches in a row were quite unlikely, but as a medicine cat as well... Starclan seemed to be on my side.

         He had specifically caught the prey himself so that the other warriors wouldn't be blamed for his forbidding crime. Flowerstripe dug up the previously caught swallow and brought both pieces of prey to camp and into his den.

         He flitted his watch around the den and into camp to make sure no one was watching and carefully moved his nest to uncover the hidden foxglove seeds. Flowerstripe had kept them there in secret until he was ready to commit the felony. He unsheathed just one of his claws and silkily ran it across the swallow's underbelly, carefully not to make the cut too huge. He picked up the foxglove seeds and dropped seven into the cut and parted the feathers to cover it again. It was like nothing had ever happened. He repeated the same process with the drum. The medicine cat then shoved the fish under his nest so no one would notice it or eat it.

         Ironically, though Minnowstar was named after a fish, she hated them since they reminded her of her name which described a weak and tiny fish. Flowerstripe carried the swallow up to the leader's den and called, "Minnowstar!?"

         "Yes?" the dark gray molly inquired.

         Flowerstripe's heart was beating like crazy and he felt like he would collapse. His forehead started burning up and his breath started quickening. Don't fall. Don't fall. He had to take a moment to calm himself. "I got you a swallow."

        Minnowstar scowled, "Fine, come in."

        The medicine cat entered, daintily placed the prey in front of her and left. Not saying a single word. The timing was perfect as well, sun-high, just when all of Shadeclan would eat the prey caught by the morning hunting patrol and take a nap. As he heard Minnowstar biting into the bird, Flowerstripe let out an unknowing sigh and returned to his den.

        He took out the fish and wearily started taking bites out of it. Taking the seeds by themselves would have been easier, but knowingly swallowing something unnatural to a feline disgusted Flowerstripe. Especially knowing that it was poisonous. He would only have a few minutes until the poison started taking place.

         "Splashpaw?"

         The medicine cat's apprentice had just entered the den, mouthful of comfrey roots. She placed them down and mewed, "Yes?"

         Flowerstripe sighed, "Come here for a second."

         Splashpaw furrowed her eyebrows and sat down next to him, "Is everything okay?" She's grown into a wonderful healer. Without even mentioning anything, the apprentice had known something was wrong.

         "I can't do this anymore," he admitted.

         "Wha-what do you mean? Are you going to retire already?!"

         Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. The apprentice's worrying nature scared Flowerstripe, would Shadeclan be in good paws? A hacking noise came from Minnowstar's den and Splashpaw instinctively rose up but Flowerstripe sternly mewed, "Sit down. She'll be alright."

         Splashpaw gave him an accusing glare but listened.

         "I think it's time for you to become a full medicine cat. I name you Splashlily- " He smiled, his once tiny, barely over the age of a kit, apprentice was now a grown she-cat taking care of her clan. Though ceremonies were usually done with the whole clan, Flowerstripe couldn't afford that much time.

         She cut him off, "But- but- I'm barely ten moons! I can't, no."

         "I can't do this anymore! Carrying the guilt of my clanmates' deaths! It's eating up Splashlily. I'll be at peace in Starclan, everything will be okay!" The medicine cat was nearly screaming.

         "How can you say that! Your clan needs you, here," She accused.

         Fowerstripe had guilt glazed all over his face but still continued, "It's too late for that now-"

         His muscles began to tense and his throat began closing up as he struggled to intake breaths. Is this what my clanmates felt like? Pain, like nothing he had ever experienced took over and he felt really hot. Soon, he couldn't breathe. His senses were blurring and he could only faintly hear Splashlily calling his name. Flowerstripe felt even more guilty now. Was what he did right? The guilt was crushing, but perhaps it would have been better to not tell Splashlily or live just for her sake. He had been the indirect cause of so many deaths and now he had just broken an apprentice.

         He closed his eyes for the last time. This entire time, he thought he would be at peace in death, but now that his plan had faltered, he felt restless. Would he never be at peace? Perhaps, this was what he deserved.

         I'm sorry Splashlily that I was so selfish. I'm sorry Rabbitpelt, I let you down. And I'm sorry Shadeclan for leaving you in these desperate times.

Again, this is really out of my comfort zone, so sorry if it sucks. The endings a bit odd, and a lot of it was filler. Am I judging myself too hard? I really don't know at this point. Life is sucking lately and, I guess my effort into writing isn't as much as it was when I first started this chapter. I understand if you don't like it.