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KILL FOR YOUR LOVE.

act three.

(chapter eighty-six, time stood still, waiting for her)

district ten / victor's village, 75 ADD.

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NIGHT CONSUMED DISTRICT TEN. The sky was filled with strokes of midnight blue and jet-black. White, glowing stars consumed the canvas, twinkling within the darkness as they shone down onto the district. The pale, crescent moon was alight and casted shadows onto the ground, silhouettes of the nearby houses and structures within view. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

"Well... this is it," Lucy Stevens murmured as she stood beside Juniper Hale. 

The former's red hair seemed to be the only bright colour within the night. The light of the moon and stars cascaded against her face, highlighting her freckles and the natural beauty the woman held. The latter clenched her jaw. 

"Right..." Juniper grumbled as she moved her arms to hug herself. 

Lucy stared at the woman for a while before telling her, "He's not here, you know. He's still in the Capitol." 

("... how did you find out about that?")

"I don't care," Juniper whispered as she began to move down the steps of the platform. "As long as he's nowhere near me..." 

The Hale woman stepped foot into the mud of District Ten and winced when she heard it squelch underneath her boots. She could feel the dirt stick to the soles of her shoe, but she tried to ignore it as she began to walk into the district. Juniper shuddered when she felt the warm, humid air of the night stick to her flesh. 

(And despite the white-hot sun, the air was warm and heavy with moisture, the thin fabrics of their jumpsuits clinging to them with sweat already)

(And Juniper shuddered when she heard the sludge squelch underneath her boots once she was up)

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

("... I thought we were starting to like each other..." Johanna whispered, her smirk faltering slightly as she stared at Juniper)

(The middle-aged man blinked numerous times before letting his shoulders drop, eyes drooping down as he told her, "I don't think you should go back to District Ten.")

The silhouette of the Barn of Death came into view and Juniper forced herself to squeeze her eyes shut as she tried to control her breathing. She could feel the muggy air attach its waves against her skin and the materials of her clothes. She could sense that mud was flicking up onto her boots with every step she took further into the district. She could smell manure, hay, raw meat, and milk. 

(Faint footsteps accompanied by rapid panting fought against the sounds of the cows mooing and groaning, the livestock barely glancing at the two seventeen-year-olds that creeped through the paddock)

("I — we — would like to see our father," Juniper told them, jutting her chin high up in the air as she clutched her satchel tightly. "He works in stable six.") 

Juniper tried hard to ignore the red Barn of Death or the looming structure of the Milking Station as she began to walk towards Victors' Village, Lucy Stevens behind her slightly. The Hale woman could hear her grumbling under her breath, but she tried to ignore that as well. 

Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead.

Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant.

Prim was dead. Prim was dead. Prim was dead.

("I will." Finnick smiled softly before kissing her right cheek, her left cheek, and her forehead. "I love you. I love you. I love you.")

("I can't... why did he have to die? I can't raise a kid by myself!")

(Juniper seemed to find her lips curl into a smirk as she stared at the fresh, young yet old soul of Primrose Everdeen)

In. Out. 

In. Out.

In. Out. 

Juniper tried to distract herself from the thoughts tumbling around in her hollow head, looking up at the branches that were overhead as she walked up the muddy path to the Village. The branches were intertwined with leaves and small twigs, the light from the moon and stars cascading down between the cracks. She looked back up to the midnight blue and jet-black canvas.

Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead.

Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant.

Prim was dead. Prim was dead. Prim was dead.

(Within the wooden chair, a woman who was the ghost of Dr. Clampitt was curled up into a ball)

("Oh, but we can't have that, can we?" Clampitt tried to sit up from her ball, but Juniper swore she could hear her bones cracking and popping. "No. You need your closure, don't you? You need Snow to die today and you need to see it—")

(Juniper Hale could never really like Katniss Everdeen for that long anyway)

"Juniper?" 

The said woman whipped her hollow head to the side to see Lucy Stevens peering at her. Her brows were scrunched up softly as she stared into Juniper's eyes, her own squinted. 

"What?" Juniper mumbled. 

"Are you all right?" 

The Hale woman swallowed a lump in her throat as she ignored the question. Instead, she moved her gaze to look in-front of her and she suddenly blanched at the sight of Victors' Village. The 'greenery' looked more dead within the night. No lights were on. All the curtains of the houses except for Juniper's, Lucy's, and Brent's were snapped shut. No smoke was emitted from any chimneys. It looked as if the three Victors' still lived within the Village. It looked how it did when they left it on the day of the Reaping. 

(And then suddenly, it was Reaping day)

But so much had happened since that day. 

Brent Higgins was dead. Juniper Hale was the ghost of who she was. Lucy Stevens had resorted back to her original state. Orion Hale had betrayed his daughter. Finnick Odair was dead. Katniss Everdeen was a traitor. Peeta Mellark was consumed with darkness. Annie Cresta was pregnant. And Johanna Mason.

Johanna Mason. 

("... I thought we were starting to like each other..." Johanna whispered, her smirk faltering slightly as she stared at Juniper)

No. Juniper Hale quickly shook her hollow head of any thoughts about Johanna Mason. Instead, she turned her attention to Lucy Stevens, who was still staring at her, waiting for an answer to her question. 

"I'm... I'm going to go take a shower," Juniper whispered, nodding slightly as she began to move away. 

"Okay..." Lucy clenched her jaw before adding, "And, Juniper?" 

The Hale woman turned around. "Yeah?" 

"I need to tell you something in the morning," the older Victor said. 

Juniper blinked once, twice, and then three times before merely nodding, walking away towards her house. Her hollow head was cramped with voices and thoughts that she didn't care to think about what Lucy Stevens might tell her in the morning. And so, she went over to her house, retrieved the key from underneath the potted plant, and opened her door. 

And it was like time had stopped once Juniper crossed the threshold. Just like Victors' Village, the house looked exactly as it did when she left it. It was like all the furniture, appliances, and decorations stood still, waiting for her arrival.

The lights were off, darkness submerging the house, but the curtains were open, allowing the shadows of the moon and stars to cascade throughout the entrance hall. The Hale woman stood by the door, looking down the corridor as she tried to take deep breaths. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

Relaxing her muscles and trying hard to relieve all tension within her, Juniper began to slowly walk through the entrance hall. The phone was silent on the wall and the floorboards creaked underneath her moving boots, muffled by the sound of the rug. The Hale woman could hear the blood rushing through her ears as she swallowed a lump in her throat. 

Taking a slight turn, Juniper entered the living room. The chandelier lights that hung from the ceiling were off. The television on the wall had a faded glow to it. Moonlight was soaked in the couch and cushions, reflecting off of the mirror that hung on a wall. The Hale woman could feel her airways restricting as she stopped in the middle of the room. And as she did, she caught a glance of herself in the reflection. 

Her hair was longer now, just passing her shoulders with the ends tickling her chest. Her face looked thinner than it did before. It looked as if her cheeks had sunken into her skull, as if her eyes were slowly retreating into their sockets. She looked on the verge of death. Skinny. Exhausted. Tormented. 

It was only when the phone in the entrance hall let out a shrill ringing sound did Juniper tear her eyes away from the mirror. She visibly winced as she stared down into the corridor, eyeing the white machine on the wall. It was shaking from the noise, which echoed around the house, and did not stop. 

Who would be calling her? It had to be in the middle of the night and Juniper Hale had no-one who would call her. Unless it was Aurelius. It was probably Aurelius. Or Plutarch. 

But it was definitely not him. 

(Picking it up gently and holding the phone to her ear, Juniper asked, "Finn? Time for your daily check up?")

("You're funny, June." Juniper smiled faintly at the distant sound of Finnick Odair. "I'm just checking up on a friend.")

The Hale woman felt her hollow head become dizzy, fingers shaking as she continued staring at the phone. The shrilling noise rang in her ears like static, but she didn't do anything about it. She let the phone ring until it stopped, a red flashing coming from a small button. Whoever had called her, they had left a message. 

Juniper turned away.

As the Hale woman felt her muscles twinge and her hollow head tumble, she slowly made her way to the stairs that led to the next level of the house, holding onto the railing as she walked up them. She didn't dare look at the door that led to her father's room and instead, stumbled into her own. 

That was the exact same as well. The curtains open. The bed a mess. The lights off. The bathroom door ajar. Time was still, waiting for Juniper Hale to come back home. Everything in District Ten was on a pause, frozen until its youngest Victor returned. The Hale woman bit her lip. 

The draws of her wardrobe were all slightly open and Juniper forced herself to pick out a t-shirt and pyjama pants, laying them out on her rugged bed. And as she retreated into the bathroom, slowly shedding the layers of her clothing off, Juniper got a better look at herself. 

Standing naked in-front of the mirror, she realised how skinny she actually was. Her ribs were on full display. Her arms looked like twigs. Her collarbones were pointy. Her legs had lost all fat in them. Even the muscles she had gained when training with Lucy for the Quell had disappeared. She was the ghost of who she was prior, a skeleton of a soul.

("She's extremely emaciated and dehydrated," one said, their voice muffled. "All of them are.")

Forcing herself to step into the shower, it wasn't long until steam infected the bathroom, its vapour moving around the area in mesmerising motions. It danced around the tiles, bouncing off of the mirror, coating everything in a thick condensation. It caused the room to be stuffy, making Juniper breathe heavily.

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

But her sighs and groans were drowned out from the harsh sound of the water hitting against her skin and the shower floor. The sounds of her flesh hissing from the boiling water echoed around, making her back and shoulders go red and raw. 

The Hale woman stood with her head low, arm outstretched with a palm against the tiled wall, eyes closed. She allowed the boiling water to roll down the skin of her back, allowed the water to tug at her soaked hair, allowed the steam to attack her body. And there wasn't a single complaint as she stood there, not a single writhe of pain or anything of the sort. Except for the little cuts, who let out guttural screams. 

(The porcelain smashed on the floorboards, the flowers flying everywhere as the water within the vase splashed into a huge mess)

In. In. 

In. In. 

In. In

Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead.

Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant.

Prim was dead. Prim was dead. Prim was dead.

Out. Out. 

Out. Out. 

Out. Out. 

("You're funny, June." Juniper smiled faintly at the distant sound of Finnick Odair. "I'm just checking up on a friend.")

("Dickhead," Finnick spat. "If I weren't such a civil man, I'd kill him.")

(Finnick was in the Games. He was a tribute)

("Fuck, you punched him proper good, June," Finnick said, forgetting about the conversation they were having moments ago. "I thought it was just the television that made it look bad, but damn.")

("Are you terrorising the lad?")

(And suddenly, when their bodies clashed into each other, arms wrapping quickly around, Juniper smiled tiredly)

("It could be true. I don't know..." he replied. "Could they do that, Beetee? Take someone's regular voice and make it...?")

(And so, with that, Juniper took one more look at Finnick before her and the other two went down the slope, disappearing through the foliage)

("... okay, look... I'm only going to tell you this because I trust you, but you can't tell anyone. If the Capitol finds out—")

("I asked Annie to marry me," Finnick repeated. "And she said yes.")

("I'm always on your side, June," Finnick said, clutching her hand tighter. "Always.")

("I will." Finnick smiled softly before kissing her right cheek, her left cheek, and her forehead. "I love you. I love you. I love you.")

Suddenly, when Juniper's airways started to constrict, she turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She reached over to grab a ratty towel, wrapping it around her soaking body as she tried to avoid her reflection in the mirror. It was too dark within the bathroom to even see, the Hale woman not having turned on the lights, but the silhouette was still there. Juniper did not want to see her silhouette. 

Instead, she quickly dried herself off as she retreated back into her bedroom, slowly dressing in the t-shirt and pyjama bottoms she had laid out on the messy sheets. The warm, muggy air seemed to have made its way into the house and so, Juniper didn't bother drying her hair, letting it drip down her back as she exited the room. 

She could feel the cuts on her flesh hiss and groan as she went down the hallway, stinging with every step she took. Her hollow head slowly calmed down as she did, however, and when she reached the living room, a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over her as she collapsed on the couch. 

Juniper's legs were curled up to her stomach, her arms wrapped around the cushion that was tucked into the side of the couch. She allowed her hair to become one knotted, soaking mess as she hid her head into the small ball of her being. Her face was pushed against the fabrics of the couch and cushion, eyes closed as she let her lips part slightly. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead. Finnick was dead.

Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant. Annie was pregnant.

Prim was dead. Prim was dead. Prim was dead.

("... I thought we were starting to like each other..." Johanna whispered, her smirk faltering slightly as she stared at Juniper)

("We all forget soon enough." Gloss grunted. "Just like how everyone forgot about poor Lucy Stevens...")

("Until one wins..." Aurelius nodded. "But really, does one ever win in war?")

("Oh, but we can't have that, can we?" Clampitt tried to sit up from her ball, but Juniper swore she could hear her bones cracking and popping. "No. You need your closure, don't you? You need Snow to die today and you need to see it—")

("It was psychological torture... and, oh, did it work.")

("... how did you find out about that?")

(But the point of Katniss's arrow shifted upwards. She released the string. And President Coin collapsed over the side of the balcony and plunged to the ground. Dead. President Snow laughing)

"Juniper?" 

("Juniper?" Prim questioned)

"Juniper!" 

("Juniper! How's Justice—?")

The Hale woman's body jolted, eyes going wide as she felt someone's cold hands shake her awake. As she sat up, heaving, she felt her palm brush the side of her pyjama pants, expecting to find the sharp blade or the smooth handle of a sword, but instead was greeted with the soft material of clothing. She could feel her shattered heart racing. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

"Juniper?" Lucy Stevens questioned. She was leaned over the couch, hands raised slightly. "I didn't mean to scare you..." 

"Lucy?" Juniper coughed out as she repositioned herself, bare feet digging into the fabric of the carpet as her hands clutched the edge of the couch. "How did you get in here?" 

The woman stared at her for a moment, eyes hazy before responding, "Your door was unlocked... and I had to tell you something, remember?" 

Juniper sighed as she ran her hand through her damp, knotted hair before standing up, her body shaking as she did. She could feel her joints aching with every step she took, ears ringing with every noise that echoed around the house, throat sore and scratchy with every swallow she did. Her tiny cuts did not help her state either, hissing when the flesh came in contact with the marble counter of the kitchen as Juniper gripped it. 

"Juniper?" Lucy called out from the living room. "Did you hear me?" 

"Uh... yeah?" Juniper responded, voice hoarse as she began to look through the cupboards, pulling out a clean-looking glass. 

"I have to tell you something." Lucy entered the kitchen. "I told you last night I had to." 

("I need to tell you something in the morning," the older Victor said)

(Her hollow head was cramped with voices and thoughts that she didn't care to think about what Lucy Stevens might tell her in the morning)

"Right..." Juniper croaked out. 

Everything in the fridge would have gone off and she was sure they didn't have any fresh water in there and so, she stalked to the sink. Turning the tap on, she put the glass underneath the steady stream and turned it off when she was pleased with how much was in there. And then, in one go, she downed the entire glass and placed it on the counter. The banging sound of it slamming onto the marble echoed around the kitchen and rung too loudly in her ears.

"Juniper, will you just look at me?" Lucy begged. "This is important." 

The Hale woman wiped the liquids off the top of her lip before turning to face Lucy Stevens, but as she did, she was in for quite a shock. A sense of déjà vu washed over her. 

It was like Juniper Hale was transported back in time just by simply looking at Lucy Stevens's state. It was like whoever she had been, the woman who was smiling more and cracking jokes, had disappeared. Like it was a front because suddenly, the Victor standing in-front of Juniper was the soft, faint, distant, loony woman who had stood on the stage at the Reaping for the Seventy-Second. It was like Lucy Stevens had been transported to her original being, as if all sense of reality had been tugged away from her. 

(Lucy, a soft soul, quickly hurried to her seat beside Nadine, her hands crossed in her lap as she eyed the children below sympathetically)

("I'm sorry..." a faint voice echoed around, causing Juniper to shoot open her eyes to see Lucy staring at her softly. "About this.")

(Lucy swallowed a lump in her throat as she said, "I... wasn't going to. I'm just saying no-one should be going through this.")

("Yeah, you never were and never will be, Lucy.")

"Juniper!" 

The woman shook her head slightly, eyes wide as she stared at Lucy Stevens before saying, "Right... sorry. What do you want to tell me?" 

"I..." Lucy whispered. "I... I'm leaving." 

Juniper blinked. 

"What do you mean you're leaving?" 

"I mean... I'm leaving to go to District Twelve," she repeated. "And I want you to come with me." 

(The middle-aged man blinked numerous times before letting his shoulders drop, eyes drooping down as he told her, "I don't think you should go back to District Ten.")

("In order to accept what has happened, going back to Ten isn't going to fix that," Aurelius muttered. "And you need to accept what happened... it will kill you if you don't.")

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

"Did Aurelius set this up?" Juniper scoffed as she moved past the redhead, going back into the living room. "This sounds like something Aurelius would set up." 

"He didn't set up anything—" 

"Why are you going to Twelve?" Juniper spat out, brows creased as she whipped around to face the woman. "What does Twelve have to offer?" 

With one single look from Lucy Stevens, Juniper Hale suddenly understood. 

("Me and Lucy are with The Mockingjay," Haymitch answered for the pair of them)

(Juniper turned to the side to see Lucy Stevens and Haymitch Abernathy standing off to the side)

(Juniper let her eyes gaze over to Lucy and Haymitch, who were still on the boundary lines, watching the married couple)

("Huh..." Haymitch hummed, looking slightly dismayed at the news Lucy Stevens was not at the party for the newest Victor. "What a shame... she's probably the only one I can stand... except for Chaff.")

Juniper felt her eyes bulge out of their sockets as she exclaimed, "You're joking." 

"I didn't say anything!" 

"Your eyes said something." Juniper turned around and slumped back down to the couch. She could feel a wet patch from where her hair had dripped. 

Lucy watched her as she fidgeted with her fingertips, saying softly, "I leave this afternoon... come with me, Juniper. Please." 

"Why?" Juniper retorted. "I'm not going to Twelve with you just so you can go make-out with some drunk." 

"You said you didn't mind Haymitch—!" 

"I don't mind him!" Juniper told her. "I really don't, but I'm not going to Twelve just so you can be with him."

Lucy flinched slightly, but swallowed a lump in her throat as she said, "It's not for me... it's for you. You can't stay here in Ten. There's nothing here for you—" 

"And there's something in Twelve?" 

"There's a better chance of a good life in Twelve than here in Ten," Lucy told her. "You can't stay here. After everything that happened, you can't. It will kill you." 

"You know, Aurelius said the exact same thing." Juniper snorted. She swore she could hear her bones clinking with every movement she made. 

The Stevens woman let her lips part slightly before moving to kneel in-front of the other Victor, saying softly, "Juniper... please... you can't stay here. You need to go somewhere else... come to Twelve with me... you'll have people there and you can live a new life..."

Juniper stared at her.

"Out of everyone in Panem, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life," Lucy continued. "So come to Twelve... the plan was for you to always come to Twelve. I only brought you back here so you can pick up whatever you needed... and I know something happened between you, Katniss, and Peeta, but you can fix that... only if you come to Twelve." 

("In order to accept what has happened, going back to Ten isn't going to fix that," Aurelius muttered. "And you need to accept what happened... it will kill you if you don't.")

("But he's wrong... I can't accept my mistakes... they're a part of me... and you're a part of me... I can't shake that... and it's because of your psychological torture...")

Juniper saw the desperation in Lucy's eyes and couldn't help but let her own droop low. She could hear the faintness in the woman's voice, the distant tone she used to have. It was like Lucy was barely grabbing onto reality. It was like moving to Twelve with Juniper was her last hope. 

"Do you love Haymitch?" 

Lucy seemed shocked by the question and was silent for a moment before nodding, saying, "I do." 

"And does he love you?" 

"So he says..." Lucy tried to smile. 

Juniper felt her throat become scratchy and tight as she continued saying, "Well... I won't ask when it happened... but as long as you're sure and as long as you're happy." 

"I am sure..." Lucy whispered. "And I am... happy to a degree... are you?" 

"You know the answer to that," Juniper told her. "But... if moving to Twelve means so much to you... then fine." 

The redhead faltered slightly, raising a brow as she tried to cough out a laugh, saying with an exasperated tone, "Really? Are you sure?" 

"If it means that much to you..." Juniper clenched her jaw. Her hollow head was throbbing. "Then yeah." 

Something must have gone off within Lucy Stevens's head because she stood up with a wide yet exhausted grin on her face. She outstretched her hand to lift the other woman off of the couch and immediately grabbed her into an embrace, ignoring the hisses of pain that emitted past her lips.

Lucy Stevens and Haymitch Abernathy. Juniper Hale scoffed internally at the thought as she tensed in the hug.

"Right. Well, good." Lucy smiled. "Um... get your stuff, then. The train leaves this afternoon... wow, I didn't actually think you would agree." 

"Right..." Juniper drawled as she balled her hands into fists, wincing as her nails dug into the tiny cuts that littered her flesh. "But... hey, you leave first, though. I'll book a train for tomorrow."

Lucy raised a brow. "What? Why?" 

"I have something I need to do." Juniper nodded. She could feel her chest tighten. "If I do it, I'll miss the train and I won't be able to get my stuff... so..." 

"Do you really need to do it?" 

"Yeah." Juniper nodded. "I'm never coming back to this place again, am I?" 

Lucy eyed her with a quizzical look before slowly nodding, saying, "All right then... but you promise you'll book a train tomorrow?"

"I promise."  

The Stevens woman stared deep into her soul, searching in her eyes to see if there was a hint of deception within Juniper, but when she found nothing, she nodded with a slight smile. 

"Right... well..." Lucy said. "I need to pack my stuff since it's nearly afternoon and I promised Haymitch I would catch that train... are you sure you're going to catch the train tomorrow?" 

"Lucy..." Juniper placed her hands on the woman's shoulder. "I'm sure. I just can't leave today... but I will tomorrow." 

The older Victor looked as if she didn't believe her, but she shook it off as she nodded again, the ghost of a smile dancing upon her lips. 

"Okay... I'll see you later, right?" 

"Of course."