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KILL FOR YOUR LOVE.

act three.

(chapter seventy-three, they really fucked us up, didn't they?)

training / the block / hospital ward, 75 ADD.

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BUT KATNISS WAS NOT a drag. Instead, she threw herself into training with a vengeance that caused the two older Victors' to eye her. She ate, lived, and breathed the workouts, drills, weapons practice, lectures on tactics. The girl was so determined to make Snow pay for what he did to Peeta that it even caused Johanna and Juniper to become more inspired than before. 

A handful of them were moved into an additional class because of their readiness and eagerness, which gave them hope of being contenders for the actual war. The soldiers called it the Block, but the tattoos that showed their schedules on their forearms listed it as S.S.C, short for Simulated Street Combat. 

Deep in Thirteen, they had built an artificial Capitol city block. The instructor broke them into squads of eight and they would attempt to carry out missions. Gaining positions. Destroying targets. Searching a home. It was as if they were truly storming the Capitol, for everything was rigged. What could go wrong did go wrong. A false step triggers a land mine. A sniper appears on a rooftop. The gun jams. A crying child leads them into an ambush. Their squadron leader gets hit by a mortar and they have to figure out what to do without orders. And whilst they knew it was fake, that they weren't actually going to die, it seemed ever so real with the enemy dressed in Peacekeepers' uniforms, the confusion of a smoke bomb. The trainers even gassed them with the three Victors' being the only ones to get their masks on properly. The rest of the squad were knocked out for ten minutes. 

The camera crew who filmed Finnick and Annie's wedding came down as well to tape the trio on the firing range as a part of a new propos series to show the rebels preparing for the Capitol invasion. All of it suddenly felt real to Juniper. She could actually be going into the Capitol. She could actually help kill Snow. 

And as the three weeks they were given dwindled down, they all watched anxiously as Thirteen prepared for invasion. Equipment and provisions were being readied. Divisions were being assembled. Juniper could tell who got their orders as they were given a very short haircut, the mark of someone going into battle. And there were even talks of the opening offensive, which would be securing the train tunnel that fed up into the Capitol. 

However, despite her eagerness, Juniper was filled with paranoia as she watched Thirteen prepare, even more so when Soldier York told her and the two other women that she had recommended them for the exam and that they were to report immediately. The exam in question had four parts: an obstacle course to assess the person's physical condition, a written tactics exam, a test of weapons proficiency, and a simulated combat situation in the Block. And as Juniper, Katniss, and Johanna flew through the first three sections with ease, there was a wait until the fourth. There was some technical bug in the Block that they were trying to work out and as the group of soldiers waited for it to be resolved, information was passed around that they would go in there alone, that there was no predicting what would happen. Juniper was quite confident until she heard one say, under his breath, that he heard it was designed to target each individual's weaknesses. 

Weaknesses. 

That was something Juniper didn't want to think about. Her weaknesses. She had plenty, she knew that, but none could test her in the Block. Maybe it was her bare minimum of training? Or her captivity? She had enough physical brute force if she put her mind to it. What was her weakness? Her main weakness?

But Juniper didn't have time to think about it. She was the first one called. The trainer said her name first. She didn't have enough time to think of what her strategy would be. She didn't even have a moment to collect her thoughts. 

("Juniper Hale.")

("Juniper Hale, District Ten.")

("Juniper Hale, District Ten," she announced as she stopped in the middle of the gymnasium, hands behind her back as she tried to control her breathing)

(Plutarch Heavensbee was at the front of the balcony, his eyes narrowed and demanding as he stared down at Juniper. "You have fifteen-minutes to perform your chosen skill, Miss Hale.")

It was suddenly as if Juniper had been transported back to her personal evaluations. It was as if Seneca Crane or Plutarch Heavensbee were waiting in the Block to assess her, to send her into the Games. The Hale woman could feel her heart pounding up in her throat, making her gag. Neither Katniss's or Johanna's reassuring smiles could calm her. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

When she entered the Block, gripping her gun tight, it was too quiet. There were no Peacekeepers'. No enemy running towards her. Juniper could hear her own pants for breath as she slowly walked through the pastel coloured streets. She was alone. There was no-one. 

Until there was a sudden Peacekeeper to her left, causing Juniper to pivot with her foot, squeezing the trigger to take them down. And then there was another one on the rooftop to her right. Then there was no more. It was just Juniper and her rapid, odd breathing pattern. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

She needed to control her breathing, but she couldn't seem to, especially as she made her way down the street. There should have been more Peacekeepers'. The Block was supposed to tackle her weaknesses, her knowledge of being in a war, but how were they supposed to do that when there was no-one to hit? No-one to knock down? 

But then suddenly, just as Juniper was about to let out a groan, there was a sudden wave of Peacekeepers', all running along the roofs and streets of the area. There were a good dozen of them, causing Juniper to duck down behind a car, taking deep breaths. She could see the white of the Peacekeeper armour to her right, causing her to knock a couple down with her bullets. Then she could see one coming near her to the left.

Until she couldn't. 

She couldn't.

It was like the lights in the Block had suddenly been turned off, causing everything to submerge in darkness. The whiteness of the Peacekeepers' armour disappeared. The pastel buildings vanished. Juniper couldn't even see the outline of the gun in her hands. It was all filled with darkness. 

Darkness. 

It was all dark. Everything was pitch black. She couldn't see anything. She couldn't hear anything. Her heart was beating. Anxiety filled her up as she clutched the weapon in her hand. Tremors were beginning to ripple through her body. The darkness. Blackness. Everything was gone. Everything was dark. 

Darkness. 

Dark. 

Dark. 

Dark.

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out.

In. In. Out. Out. 

The woman could feel the tendrils swaying towards her crouched figure. The tendrils of darkness. The darkness that took ahold of Peeta. Juniper felt a guttural moan fill her throat as she felt the tendril-like hands start grabbing her, abusing her. It was dragging her. 

Blood began to pound in Juniper's ears as her heart thudded. The gun in her hands began to rattle as her fingertips shook uncontrollably. The darkness was pinching her, punching her, poking at her. Juniper tried to clutch the weapon, hands wrapped so tightly that she could feel her nails digging into her palms. 

In. In.

In. In. 

In. In. 

There was no out. Not in her breathing, not in her situation. The darkness was drowning her, suffocating her. Its hands were grasped around her neck, squeezing, and squeezing, and squeezing. Juniper needed to get out of the Block. She needed to leave. But she couldn't. It was like the darkness was grabbing her so tightly that she couldn't leave. 

Aggressive tears began to run down her cheeks as the guttural moan escaped Juniper's lips. She felt a cold sweat wash over her body. She needed to get out. She needed to leave. She couldn't do this. But she couldn't. She couldn't escape. Why couldn't she escape? 

("Dark?" Lucy asked. "Juniper, the dark is to help you sleep. You need to rest.")

("Some of the nurses say you haven't been sleeping," Dr. Aurelius said. "Others say you have a fear of the dark... and a few say you have been denying sedatives and sleeping pills. It has brought up concerns with the hospital staff.")

Just as Juniper began to weep with fear, there were suddenly rapid footsteps running towards her. She was about to let out a scream when a needle jabbed into her neck and a new sense of darkness took ahold of her. 

In. 

In. 

In. 

Out. 

Out. 

Out.

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

Whatever she was injected with, it had calmed down her breathing. It was like she was in a dreamless sleep. Everything was numbed with no nightmares, no flashbacks. No nothing. Her eyes were simply closed. There was no agony. She was at ease. At peace. 

But when her eyes finally opened, she wasn't in the Block. She wasn't in her and Johanna's compartment. Juniper could tell she was back in the hospital with the way the heart-rate monitor beeped in her ear. Why was she back in the hospital? 

The Hale woman was tucked underneath the quilts, back in the paper robe with her mouth dry, throat itchy. Someone had given her a sedative. They must have, for there was no morphling drip in her arm. What had happened in the Block?

(The darkness was pinching her, punching her, poking at her. Juniper tried to clutch the weapon, hands wrapped so tightly that she could feel her nails digging into her palms)

Juniper let out a groan, slamming her head back onto the pillow. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she became filled with realisation. The Block tested soldier's weaknesses, their fears. And they had used darkness. The trainers running the simulation had blacked out the street. They used her fear of the dark against her. 

The woman was about to get up from her bed when she looked to the side, seeing that the curtain was wide open, showcasing the patient next to her. It was a young woman that was damp with water, causing her short hair to form little spikes over her forehead. Her wide-set eyes were fighting to stay awake against the sedative that was in her system. Her entire body shook. 

It was Johanna. 

"Mason?" Juniper croaked out. 

The Victor from Seven looked over at her, relief flooding into her eyes as she said hoarsely, "Hale?" 

"The hell are you doing back here?" Juniper asked as she tried to sit up in her bed, wincing as she felt herself become light-headed. 

But before Johanna could even answer, the Hale woman looked over her again. She was damp with water. The Block was to test their weaknesses, make them fight their fears. Johanna was tortured with water and electric shots in the Capitol. The woman looked petrified. 

"Oh." 

Johanna tried to smile weakly before letting out a hacking cough, saying, "Yeah. Oh... why are you in here?"

The Hale woman clenched her jaw as she replied, "They... it's hard to explain."

Silence enveloped them as Johanna didn't push for anymore information. She didn't know about the darkness. No-one did. The nurses, Lucy, and Dr. Aurelius thought she was crazy for being terrified of the darkness, but they didn't understand. They couldn't. She would be submitted into a psychiatric ward if she ever tried to speak out. 

"They really fucked us up, didn't they, Hale?" 

Juniper turned her head over to look at Johanna. Tears were glossed over her wide-set eyes and it made the Hale woman tremble as she realised something. 

She had always asked herself, before her Games, how Johanna Mason could be so murderous, so angry. She was convinced that she was born evil. That the girl was just an angry, psychotic, cold-blooded killer. And then even weeks prior, she had labelled Johanna as harsh, cruel, and impatient, a woman who would speak her mind without any filter. Juniper hated the woman for being too much like her, for being too hard to swallow. But now, as she stared at the murderer that was Johanna Mason, all she could see was a dishevelled, sorrowful, slight of a young woman. 

All of it was a front.

But before Juniper could even open her mouth, feeling herself become short of breath, the hospital door burst open and rapid footsteps echoed around. Finnick Odair, panting, stood by the two beds.

"Shit, are you two all right?" Finnick asked as he looked between Juniper and Johanna, sincere concern etched deep in his expressions. "Haymitch and Lucy told me and Katniss what happened... Jo, I'm so sorry." 

"What can you do?" Johanna tried to say, lips trying to form into a smile, but she couldn't seem to. She didn't even look at Finnick as she spoke. She was staring at Juniper. 

"I am so sorry," Finnick said. "You too, June. I'm sorry you're both back in here." 

"Finnick, when will you ever learn to stop apologising?" Johanna teased as she finally removed her eyes away from Juniper, looking at the man. "It's fine." 

"Habit." Finnick shrugged.

"I'm guessing we're not going to the Capitol?" Juniper piped up, lips twisted into a thin line. 

"No." Finnick shook his head sadly. "Not after what happened... but we'll keep you two in mind and updated. It's only fair." 

The man from Four stayed in the hospital room for a while before he was hurried out by a nurse. He made sure to squeeze both of the women's hands before leaving. And whilst Juniper went to open her mouth to either sob or apologise for nearly every bad thought she had about Johanna Mason, the door flung open again and Katniss Everdeen entered with something in her hand. 

"What's that?" Johanna asked hoarsely as the girl crossed over to her bed, holding it out. 

"I made it for you. To make you feel better," Katniss told her. "Smell it." 

The bundle seemed to look like a handful of needles from outside, twisted with a vine wrapped around. It was placed in the middle of an odd-looking bandage. Juniper raised a brow, watching as Johanna lifted the bundle to her nose, taking a tentative sniff. 

"Smells like home..." Johanna whispered as tears began to flood her eyes.

"That's what I was hoping. You being from Seven and all," Katniss said. "Remember when we met? You were a tree. Well, briefly." 

(She had a headdress of leafy branches atop her spiky, brown hair, which was different to her bleached bangs three-years-ago, and was wearing a corset that was supposed to be bark on the top half of her body whilst wearing a detailed full-body suit of deep green underneath)

But suddenly, Johanna caught the girl's wrist in an iron grip, hissing, "You have to kill him, Katniss."

"Don't worry." 

"Swear it. On something you care about." 

Katniss furrowed her brows before muttering, "I swear it. On my life." 

"On your family's life." 

"On my family's life," Katniss said and as the woman let go, she rubbed her wrist. "Why do you think I'm going, anyway, brainless?" 

Johanna smiled slightly as she said, "I just needed to hear it," before pressing the bundle of pine needles to her nose, closing her eyes. 

And as Katniss mumbled some words to Juniper, she soon left in a hurry, leaving it to be the two women. But Johanna never opened her eyes. She seemed to have succumbed to the power of her sedative as her soft snores echoed around the hospital ward. And as she slept, Juniper stared at her. 

It was all a facade. 

Johanna Mason wasn't just some cold-blooded, rage-filled murderer. She wasn't naturally cold or brash. She wasn't harsh or cruel by nature. It was all a front and when it was wiped away, all that was left was a dishevelled, terrified, sorrowful young woman. 

("They really fucked us up, didn't they, Hale?")

("I'd say that's the reason why I hate you," she murmured. "I hate myself so I hate you... and you're also a little hard to swallow.")

("Because I'm too much like you and you're too much like me," Juniper said. "No-one likes you, no-one likes me. No-one trusts you, no-one trusts me... and we're both angry all the time. That's why I hate you. Because we're too alike.")

Juniper could feel her jaw clenching unwillingly as she groaned, hitting her head back onto her pillow. Hours passed with nothing but snores from Johanna and visits from the nurses. Juniper begged for Finnick or Lucy to come see her, even if they were busy. She didn't think she could stand being alone in the hospital ward again. But as she thought this, a figure appeared at the end of her bed. 

Dr. Aurelius. 

"Miss Hale." Aurelius smiled warmly as he sat down in the plastic chair, settling his clipboard and pen on the bedside table. "How are you feeling?" 

"Like death." 

The man looked apologetic before clearing his throat, muttering, "I'm here to speak to you about what happened in the Block."

(The darkness was pinching her, punching her, poking at her. Juniper tried to clutch the weapon, hands wrapped so tightly that she could feel her nails digging into her palms)

(Darkness)

(In. In. Out. Out)

"The Block is designed to test people's weaknesses, their fears." Juniper shrugged. "Nothing important happened." 

"Then why did you have a panic attack when it went dark?" Dr. Aurelius hummed. "Would you like to hear my theory?" 

"Do I have a choice?" 

"I think... you've associated darkness with the Capitol," the man told her. Juniper shifted in her bed. "Or a person... or a thing. Whatever it is, you have this idea that the dark or darkness revolves around your time in the Capitol." 

Juniper could feel her mouth going dry as she asked, "What makes you think that?" 

"Miss Hale..." Dr. Aurelius said softly as he leaned forwards in his chair. "I haven't seen you since you started training. Our last conversation... well..." 

(Juniper let out a shaky breath before muttering, "They weren't just some mistakes...")

(Something flickered in Aurelius's eyes, something bordering caution and softness as he began to speak slowly, asking, "Who is Clampitt?")

And the doctor was telling the truth. The pair hadn't seen each other since Juniper started training with Johanna and Katniss. She hadn't found the time to sit down with the head doctor and she had been dreading the moment where she had to. There was too much on her mind, but as she laid in the bed, back in the hospital, with Aurelius sitting across from her, all Juniper could think about was the darkness and Clampitt. 

Clampitt. 

"You told me about someone called Clampitt..." Aurelius whispered, caution set in his eyes as if one wrong word could set her off. "Before we got interrupted by Miss Mason." 

Clampitt. 

("They really fucked us up, didn't they, Hale?")

"Yes..." Juniper whispered. "I did." 

"Who is she, Miss Hale?" 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

"She was... a head doctor... like you," Juniper muttered. Something flashed in Aurelius's eyes. "She would... she..." 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

In. In. Out. Out. 

"She... she would..." 

"She would what, Miss Hale?" 

In. 

In. 

In. 

"She would show me... clips." 

Aurelius blinked once before nodding his head slowly. There was something in his eyes that Juniper couldn't pick out. He seemed to understand that this was a rare moment. Juniper Hale was speaking to him. She had never done that before. She had never spoken to anyone about what happened to her in the Capitol. And whether it was because of her revelation about Johanna Mason or about what happened in the Block, Aurelius knew he needed to word his phrases carefully. 

"What kind of clips, Miss Hale?"

(The sound of the anthem played around again before the screen showed a shot of the Cornucopia in the Quell where seven figures surrounded the mouth)

(Then the clip changed to show Johanna Mason, Juniper herself, Blight, Beetee, and Wiress standing within the jungle, panting and looking rightly exhausted)

(But Juniper knew what year this clip was from just by Caesar's chosen colour. The Seventy-Third)

The final moments of the Quell. Cashmere Nicholo and Gloss. Blight hitting the force field. Mags and the woman from Six dying. Wing and Hermes. The girl from Three. Rayon. Cedar and Ash.

"Clips from... Games..." Juniper let out a sharp sigh of pain. "Audio recordings sometimes... she..." 

"Take your time, Miss Hale," Aurelius said softly. 

And it was suddenly like a switch was flicked in the Hale woman as she suddenly let out a scoff, crossing her arms as she said, "I don't want to talk about it." 

The doctor let out a slight sigh, looking down before replying, "Okay, then. You don't mind if I do my work here, then?" 

Juniper didn't even respond as the man grabbed his clipboard and pen, didn't even raise a brow as he began to flip through sheets of paper. All she could do, in that moment, was let out a sigh as she hit her head back onto the pillow again. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

In. Out. 

And as Dr. Aurelius clicked his tongue, doing his work, Juniper could feel her heart twisting, squeezing all the blood out like it was a soaked towel. What was going on with her? Things were changing and changing fast, so quickly that it scared her. 

She never would have opened up to Dr. Aurelius. She never would have muttered Clampitt's name in-front of anyone from Thirteen. Juniper never would have had her perspective about Johanna Mason change. She never would have felt awkward with her on their night in their compartment. She never would have cried in-front of anyone. 

And as she thought about this, Juniper Hale suddenly had a bad feeling. 

("They really fucked us up, didn't they, Hale?")