N o e l

For the first time in my life, I had never wished for my brother to be here more than I did right now.

Yes, I said some horrible things to him but siblings fight that's just how it is. It wasn't as if I actually wanted him gone in the first place, how was I supposed to live my life like this?

"Let go of me you bastards!" I yelled as I struggled against the men carrying me away.

Once again, some brutes were trying to pick a fight with me but instead of just fighting, they were attempting to just snatch me up off the street!

This wouldn't even be happening right now if Cole had never left and I found myself blaming him for this.

From a young age, I had always felt like the two of us were different sides of a coin. We were attached to one another but never actually saw the other. We've always been compared, even if Father never said it out loud I could tell what he was thinking.

At some point, I had even begun to consider him as my rival but after a while I realized that was stupid of me.

Cole wasn't my rival, no, he wasn't someone who could ever be a rival to me. Rivals competed against one another and were typically on the same level as one another. But that would never be the case between us because Cole excelled in everything he did no matter what it was. Be it academics, fighting, or even just something as simple as cooking, he did it better.

And it irritated me.

How is it that he was the one to get out of all this? No one wants to kill people and sell illegal drugs for a living, but my father seemed to think that's what I desired. And I couldn't object, I was nothing without my family. I wasn't smart so I couldn't think my way out nor was I strong, meaning I can't fight my way out.

Even now as I was being dragged to some random thugs car, I knew I would be powerless to stop them. Which is why all I could do was pray for some kind of miracle to happen and get me out of this.

And just then, a miracle happened.

My eyes caught sight of a familiar face in the crowd, how could I not when I've known that face all my life. But I didn't have time to be distracted by the changes in his features as these thugs were forcing me into their car.

"Hey!!! Cole!!!" I yelled and I could see Cole turn his head in our direction. His eyes quickly locked on to us and they furrowed in confusion.

I had no idea how lucky I had gotten that Cole just happened to be in the area as this shit was going down but I thanked everything holy that he was,

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" One of the guys said as he covered my mouth.

"We should have duct taped his mouth shut!" Another said.

"Forget that let's just hurry and get out of here" the last one said.

At first, Cole just stared at us and I started to get worried. Surely he wouldn't let these thugs just kidnap me! I was his brother after all! Even if we had our differences, didn't that mean something?

I could feel the engine start and with it, so did my panic.

No way...was Cole really going to-

Before I could finish my thought, I saw Cole running over to us and I immediately felt myself relax a bit. These guys didn't stand a chance against Cole so my safety was once again guaranteed.

Thank god.

A thump from the back of the car caught everyone's attention.

"The fuck was that?" The driver asked.

"Someone's on the roof!" The one in the passenger seat said as he pointed at the mirror, Cole reflecting in it.

"Get him off" the man next to me said and suddenly, the driver slammed his foot on the gas.

Even though his intentions was to high tail it out of there, it was hard for the man to maneuver safely through the traffic which made it harder for them to shake Cole. Suddenly, the window on the passenger seat side was shot through and the man in the passenger side slumped in his seat.

"Holy shit!" The driver yelled and by now, he was hardly paying attention to the road anymore. I could feel myself get a little nauseous from all the movement honestly.

"I got it" the man on my side said but before he could even get his weapon, Cole's head popped in the broken window and he aimed his gun at the man and shot him.

Cole took the chance to open the passenger side's door and the dead man's body went flying out and Cole swooped in.

"Stop the car" Cole said as he kept his barrel trained on the driver's temple.

"Fuck you!" The guy shouted as he sped up and that was all it took for Cole to make up his mind as he shot the man dead.

"Are you fucking nuts?!" I screamed as the car went swerving in all sorts of directions.

"Shut up" Cole said as he opened the door to get the dead driver out of his seat before clambering into the newly vacant seat. Cole pressed hard on the breaks and we came to a rough stop, luckily just before crashing into someone's parked car.

"We need to get out of this car before the cops show" Cole said and I frowned.

"Why? Just drive it away from here" I said and Cole glared.

"I can't drive and clearly neither can you" he gritted out. Well, if there was anything we shared in common aside from our looks, it was definitely our inability to drive.

That shit was hard.

"Can you at least untie me first?" I asked and Cole sighed before grabbing a knife from his boot and cutting me loose. We both got out of the car and walked away casually as if what just happened never did happen.

"How did you manage to get yourself into trouble this time? Aren't you supposed to have security?" Cole grumbled as we walked.

"I was just in the area going shopping! I didn't expect those brutes to try and kidnap me" I retorted and Cole sighed.

"Useless as ever I see" he muttered and though I wouldn't admit it, his words hurt.

"I could have handled it...I was just tied up. It's not like I needed your help" I said sourly and I flinched when Cole got in my face.

"Oh? And where exactly do you think you would be right now if I hadn't stepped in?" He asked.

Knowing the answer all too well, but not willing to admit it, I kept my mouth shut but that just left room for Cole to continue.

"Where do you think you would have been years ago had it not been for me?" He said. Gritting my teeth a bit, I refused to answer. So what, he saved my life a couple times big deal, what did he want from me?

"Find your own way home" Cole suddenly said and my eyes widened.

"What? Are you serious? I can't get back to the estate from here without a car!" I exclaimed. I normally would call for someone but those bastards broke my phone when deciding they wanted to kidnap me.

"You don't need me right? Help yourself" Cole said before walking off and though I really didn't want to, I figured it was time to suck up my pride.

"Alright, I do need you! Don't go!" I said and Cole stopped. We stared each other down for a few moments before Cole turned back around.

"I'm not taking you all the way there" he said and I caught up to him before he could walk too far ahead.

As we walked, I took a moment to look over his appearance. The dyed hair and even the cut altered the way he looked, but I could still see our similarities. It was sort of like looking through a distorted mirror.

It was still surprising to me that Cole had managed to get out of our group, not officially though. He's always been the type to hold his tongue and do as he was told, which is why I had no idea where he suddenly got the idea to run away from.

"Are you seriously not coming back? Father might take it easy on you if you come back willingly" I said.

"I don't give a shit about what he'll do" Cole said.

"You know how he gets, you're only making it worse on yourself" I said. Cole stopped and glared at me which was totally expected but I was only stating facts.

Our father was not a kind man, I don't think I've ever seen him do one good thing in his entire life. His anger issues were also pretty bad and he had even less tolerance for people who crossed him, which is exactly what Cole did.

"Why do you care? Not once in our entire lives have you ever given a shit about what happened to me. And now that you're getting a taste of what your life should have been like, it's making you change your mind, huh?" He asked, the vein on his neck slowly becoming more and more visible.

"You act like I'm the one who made you do it" I retorted with an unimpressed look.

"You're right, you aren't but did you ever object to it?" He asked and I had to admit, he had me there. Who was I to speak out against our father? We both knew how that would end up so why would he expect me to do such a thing?

"Thought so" he said and I stopped him before he could walk away.

"You seriously can't be blaming me though! That's not fair" I said and for the first time ever in our lives, Cole yelled at me.

"Don't fucking talk to me about fair!" He exclaimed as he pushed me back. His eyes were full of pent up anger and I stepped back, afraid that if I stayed close, he would do more than just push me.

"What's not fair is that my life was stripped from me simply because yours held more importance. I was a kid you shithead! I wasn't even ten and I was told that I had to prepare myself to give my life for you! How could you not say anything about how that was extremely wrong? You were my older brother, the one person who was supposed to have my back but you were too much of a fucking coward to stand up for me!" Cole's entire being exuded hurt and anger as he spoke but I just found myself speechless.

"I..." I could do nothing but stare.

He was...right.

Our father had always told us that was the way things had to be so I figured it was true. Maybe I could have said something but would that really have changed our father's mind? It would have sooner earned me a slap than a negotiation.

"Because of that, I got used to having someone else determine how valuable my existence was and that should never have happened. But now I refuse to allow myself to ever be in that position again. Where I'm at right now is better than where I've been all my life and I won't let you or anyone else from our family change that for me" After Cole finished, I stayed silent for the rest of our walk, too speechless to even say anything.

A heavy feeling was sinking within me but I had no idea what it was. It prickled my heart and I honestly wanted nothing more than to throw it out of my body.

"You can take this bus, it'll bring you close enough to the estate" Cole suddenly said and I was quick to stop him from walking away.

"Cole" I said.

"What?" He said without turning around.

After thinking about it for a moment, I decided that I would give Cole something that was long overdue.

"I'm sorry" I said.

Honestly, I was expecting a 'thank you' or something that resembled it but instead, Cole just stared at me.

"I don't want your apology" he said as he stared me down. I furrowed my brow at his blunt words but Cole just continued.

"Ever heard of the saying 'change stars with you?" He asked and I nodded.

"If someone doesn't want to change, they won't. I'm not interested in trying to make someone into something they're not" Cole said and stepped up to me.

He pressed his finger into my chest, right over where my heart was and I stiffened.

"If you were really sorry, you'd fix that almost nonexistent sense of morality within you and act on it" he said before backing away.

As he walked away, I found myself in a bit of turmoil over his words. What he was suggesting was easier said than done and our father was my biggest obstacle. I've never been able to go against him, and I know I wouldn't be able to even now.

Sighing, I sat down and waited for this stupid bus.

Some people can't change, even if they want to...