xxxx. CUTE LITTLE AIRPLANE PEANUTS

"Can someone in this goddamn penthouse PLEASE go get some more popcorn? I'm about to starve here," Chase's voice groans.

Ace and I are standing on the other side of the penthouse door. We were about to enter, returning from our trip to Albemarle, but this conversation seemed to get interesting.

"These fancy chips the CIA put in our necks will electrocute us if we leave without permission. Eat healthy; have an apple," Skye says, tossing (chucking) presumably an apple at him.

I knew she threw it hard because Chase proceeded to cuss her out.

"I will absolutely not eat anything healthy," he states. "I'm religiously against Whole Foods."

Ace opened the doors before the tension between two very hungry and deadly people could escalate. As soon as we opened the door, Chase ran up and tackled Ace into a hug.

"Oh thank god you're back," Chase sighs while still hugging Ace.

"Uhhh... Nice to see you too buddy," Ace awkwardly pats.

"Please go get food so I won't starve. You're the only person that can leave this goddamn prison," Chase almost cries. "Get me a value pack of hot pockets, three red bulls, and roast-chicken ramen."

"While you're there get some Zocor medicine to treat his soon to be high cholesterol," Skye smirks.

"Wow," Xavier yawns, walking into the kitchen with bed head. "You guys were gone?"

I huff. The assassin then breaks into a smile. "I'm just kidding Rookie; I missed you."

"Did anything interesting happen? Did you guys fight any bad guys or save the world?" Skye asks.

I shrug. "Nope. Pretty uneventful."

"Although I did manage to piss off Octavia's godfather," Ace said.

Chase faked a gasp. "No, how could anyone hate you?"

"You're practically a saint of all things fathers like," Skye chimes.

"I wouldn't let my daughter near you," Xavier grumbles. He folds his arms across his chest in an imposing father-figure motion.

Ace narrows his eyes. "Xavier you're literally an assassin. That's objectively, subjectively, and definitively worse than an agent."

Xavier glances up. "Well I wouldn't want my daughter to go out with someone like me either."

"Let's just all agree that we're all bad partners," I state. "Especially Ace."

My gaze flickers over to meet a pair of golden eyes that are locked with mine through the conversation. The rest of us are laughing, but when I meet his eyes, they're fixated, serious, and knit in contemplation. Ace looked like he wanted to interject, but instead, he stays silent and runs a hand through his hair.

The doorbell suddenly rings, interrupting our Comedy Central Roast of Banana Bread.

The sound reverberating around the glass walls. Skye goes up and opens the door. The Director enters the penthouse. But today, he was without his team of SWAT guards.

He was like the main act without his backup dancers; I was a little disappointed. One of these days, I looked forward to them breaking out dancing to "Oops I did it Again".

"Great," I sigh under my breath. "Here comes Miss Secret Service 2018."

"Did you say something Miss Snow?" The Director juts. "Care to share it with the team?"

"I just think you're a ray of sunshine," I smile.

From the corner of my eye I can see Ace pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you have another mission for us?" Chase asks.

"Sort of, Mr. Kingsley," the Director says. "There are some visitors here from London to visit us. We'll be working collectively on an ongoing case."

A smirking Daniel comes into the room after the Director. I could practically feel Ace bristle.

"Sorry I meant to call, but a mission in Seattle kept me up," Daniel winks at me.

Suddenly, a blur slams Daniel down against the floor. To be fair, the figure moved so quickly I couldn't even seen Daniel falling. He was standing one second and on the floor the next.

"What the SHIT Blackwell?" I scream.

"Uh... that wasn't me," Ace says. Sure enough, he's still standing right next to me, watching Xavier tackle Daniel.

"Go help him!" I continue screaming.

Ace rolls his eyes. "Do I have to? Fine."

He thankfully reacted quickly, slamming down the assassin, who now loaded the gun once on Daniel's belt. Xavier quickly flips Ace down to the floor in the chaos. Skye leaps into action; she quickly twists Xavier's hands behind his back.

Chase tries to pry the gun out of Xavier's hands but gets kicked in the process. He quickly breaks out from Skye and Ace's makeshift manhandling. He loads the gun again and begins to fire at Daniel.

Daniel drops to the ground and gets behind the kitchen island against the deafening metal. Stray bullets misfire due to Chase wrestling him. Glassware shatters across the kitchen. A rain of bullets fly down against the furniture and more importantly, food, we have laid out across the room.

Not the food. Anything but the food. I probably would have taken a bullet for the food had I reacted reflectively fast enough.

Ace finally tackles Xavier to the ground. It takes all three of them to restrain the adrenaline filled monster that has consumed Xavier. I'm not proud of it, but I pretty much stood by like a wimp the entire time. Excuse me for wanting to keep all my limbs from being ripped off by an assassin.

"Quick! Octavia, lower left cabinet!" Ace shouts while holding Xavier down.

I panic. Scrambling through the cabinet I'm able to find a pair of handcuffs. Skye pulls up a chair, and Xavier is swiftly handcuffed to the chair.

"Wow and I thought I hated Daniel the most in this room," Ace pants.

"What the actual hell dude?" Chase sighs, messaging where Xavier hit him.

"Are we not going to talk about why Ace has handcuffs in this penthouse?" I interject.

Ace winks at me. "This place wasn't always a safehouse."

"Alright Blackwell," the Director sighs. "You're no longer allowed to have free access."

Skye groans. "Skimming over that. Xavier! Why did you attack Daniel?"

Xavier spat in Daniel's direction. "Interpol's been sending this asshat to hunt me down ever since Frankfurt. He's made my life infinitely more difficult."

Daniel gives us an exacerbated look. "Okay first of all—language. Second, you shot the CEO of the IMF so yes. Excuse me for doing my job and hunting down a murderer."

"I hope your British assface gets run over by a trolley," Xavier grumbles. "That CEO was another corrupt asshole anyways."

"Language," Daniel seethes, glaring at him through crystal blue eyes. He begins to walk over to Xavier with daggers in his stare. "Even through your one-sided prison of a head you must see why you're wrong."

Xavier rolls his eyes. "Sorry professor Aesop, are you done with your lesson, dear jackass?"

"Language," Daniel retorts. By this point, the two are locked in a match-to-the-death stare-down.

"Don't you think you overreacted Xavier?" Ace chuckles, "After all, Interpol would never have caught you anyway. I don't know if you've noticed but they kinda suck at their jobs."

I give Ace a long, hard look which he reacts by sheepishly shrugging. Daniel visibly bristles. Xavier smirks. The Director facepalms.

To smooth out the tension, I try my best to ease this high-stressed group into mutual collaboration. Come on Octavia, what could you say that would make everyone less hostile?

"Uh... so Daniel," I smile. "Did you get those cute airline peanuts on your flight?"

The Director facepalms again.

Ace: "Vote if you kinda ship Daniel and Xavier... just a little."

Octavia: This story is in the 2018 Fiction Awards for best humor! Go to the Fiction Awards profile to vote. thefictionawards You can vote as many times as you want, so you should vote 69 or 420 times ;)

Sophie: "When we hit 5K votes in the awards, I will do a bonus update. Even if means tomorrow <3"