Lv. HIPAA VIOLATIONS & DAD HATS

After crashing one hundred-million dollar private plane into the middle of the ocean back in Hong Kong, the Director, fully annoyed, asked for a smaller private jet this time instead. Our bad. I'll try my best not to become so hated by a psychopath that we get shot out of the sky.

"Dubrovnik, Croatia. Historic seaside town with a population of less than 50,000," Ace briefs. "Thirteen's Queen's name is Dr. Emma Watts. She's a scientist studying coastal shorelines as a fellow from Cambridge."

"Hell yeah, she's a Brit. I'm so sick of being the only one among you unsophisticated Yankees," Daniel smirks.

Brigades of insults are hurled at Daniel. Chief among them are "Go back to the other side of the pond you crumpet-trouser," and "Tally-ho go get run over by a trolley."

"How did we figure out it's her?" I ask. "I'm not complaining, but the turn-around time seemed much shorter than expected."

"She has a rare mutation on chromosome 3P, leading to Von Hippel-Lindau syndrome. It's an incredibly rare disease that we found while combing through medical records that made the search much easier," Ace smoothly retorts. It was as if he read off a teleprompter.

"Give me a H. I. P. A. A. What does that spell?" Daniel deadpans. "A HIPAA violation. Punk-ass CIA agents thinking they can do whatever they want."

Xavier smacks him in the back of the head.

Chase rolls his eyes. "So we've got a sick girl who Thirteen wants. Do we know why?"

Ace shakes his head. "We're still looking into that."

Skye places her fingers into a steeple formation, leaning in, as her sheer headwrap falls to frame her face. "We know that Thirteen doesn't have access to this half of the database, which means he's likely going to be unable to find her for the time being. Is disclosing her location our best move here?"

Leather fumbles as I move my weight in the seat. My gaze flickers to Ace in a way that wasn't asking for permission to disclose the night before. "I'd agree with you, Skye," I clear my throat. "But last night I got a letter from Thirteen asking for a deal. He knows that we've found his Queen... and he's probably destroying the agency in an attempt to find her identity. We have to save her. Before it's too late."

A thickness of tension hangs in the cabin air. I bite the inside of my cheek while musing how to proceed on this deadly chess board. Xavier leaves and returns moments later with a slice of cheesecake. Daniel facepalms.

"What?" Xavier shrugs, "It helps me think."

"You're going to need more cheesecake than that if you want to think at even an average capacity," Ace sighs. Xavier jettisons the fork into the leather seats while refusing to take his eyes off Ace. Daniel gives us all an apologetic look on behalf of the assassin.

Skye swings the dagger she has on at all times into the air, toying it with her ring finger, giving a pointed glare serving as a threat before tensions could escalate. My fingernails press into my palms.

"So how do we deal with Thirteen's negotiation offer?" Chase questions.

"We prepare for war." My voice is flat. "We kill him once and for all when we meet him."

"And how exactly will we do that?" Daniel laughs.

"We set up a trap... using Emma Watts as the bait," I state.

No one says anything. Meters away, the fasten seatbelt sign rings on—we were in Dubrovnik.

~

The red roofs blend together with the sand-dune colored castles and clash against deep blue oceans. The large island adjacent to the mainland is surrounded by a pale castle wall. Soft tides ebb onto the ports; there I stand, facing the run, peering past my sunglasses to look out at the boats ahead. Emma's project detailed collecting samples from this area. Courtesy of Ace, I'm also wearing a ridiculous Hawaiian t-shirt and cargo shorts.

He had a fun time at prosthetics. Although from our disguises, it seemed more like an over-glorified costume shop.

Beside me stands Skye and Ace. The latter's now wearing the ultimate dad hat: a bucket hat. In addition, his golden eyes are now replaced with brown contacts, and his grown stubble shields his face from any suspicion.

Chase, Daniel, and Xavier are all on guard duty. We needed to make sure we could kidnap Emma without any commotion. Hey—I know that sounds bad—but the alternative was being kidnapped by the devil himself.

Skye spots Emma's bright blonde head first. She's on a small motorboat docked along the port, dressed in a tank top, and she seemed to be struggling with the engine. We mindlessly chatter while walking over in her direction.

"Zdravo!" I wave to her. "govoriš li engleski? Do you speak English?" Fun fact, that was the only phrase I learned off of google translate five minutes prior.

Emma glances around, and when she confirms I'm speaking to her, she returns a polite smile. "No worries, I do," she says with a slight British accent. "What can I help you with?"

"Thank god we finally found someone who speaks English," Skye grins. "If you said anything else in Croatian, my friend here would have died."

Emma smiles. "Don't worry, a lot of people here are bilingual."

"Could you help us find the closest gift shop?" Ace asks. "And ATM? I'm getting dangerously low on kuna."

Emma's gaze flickers from Skye to Ace. Directly against the sunlight, her fair eyes seem light blue, nearing translucent, even. "Of course. Anything for my English speaking brethren."

She then turns to a man two boats down. "Ivica!" The man turns to face her when he hears his name. "Čuvaj moj brod!" She says.

The three of us give each other pointed looks. Whoever this Ivica was, he was another loose end. When Emma turns back to face us, we all resume our smiles. She leads us away from the ports. As she's doing so, I see Xavier approach Ivica.

I make a mental note to buy him another cheesecake if he can take care of this without killing the bystander.

Emma leads the three of us down the slick stone path into the center of town. The pale stones are a dusty gold, and they seem to sporadically sparkle as the sun hit them. She stops before an ATM on a busy sidewalk. There are people on both sides of the path. In addition, there were no cars allowed in the inner city, so excluding Ace's ego, we were out of large distractions. Shit.

My eyes flicker around for any way to lure Emma away from the crowd. Both Skye and Ace had small needles with tranquilizing solutions in them. (I was not given one because I demonstrate a concerning amount of "clumsiness" and "incompetence".)

An idea struck me. A stupid, concerning, and definitely incompetent idea hit me.

I slow down in my tracks. Lurching forward, I hold my stomach, and hold onto Ace for stability. Skye and Ace nod at me. "I think I need to go to the hospital, or just throw up," I stammer. "How fast can we get out of the inner city?"

"There's no time," Ace states, barging into a secluded alleyway. "Emma, I'm so sorry, but can you come with us in case we need a translator?"

She affirms with a firm nod. As we are walking into a less populated area, Skye expertly inserts the needle with tranquilizing solution onto Emma's side. Emma begins to slur her words. She falls against Skye, and people begin to turn their heads, looking with confusion and concern.

"WOOO!" I yell, mirroring Emma's stumble. Everyone's eyes turn to me. I crash against Ace, leading us away from Skye and the inebriated Emma so they can get away. "U. S. A! The great United States. O say can you see..."

My accomplices catch on immediately. Ace looks around with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, žao mi je, they had too much to drink. Your country is beautiful."

"U. S. A! U. S. A!" I continue to chant, "What soOoOo proudly we hailed... hiccup... at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and briGHT—"

Ace clasps a hand around my mouth as the police look in our direction. Shit. If the police came, then his identity would be revealed. No amount of dad hats could hide us from police.

Thankfully though, the three frustrated cops just wave us away after we couldn't return a word of Croatian. A weight lifts off my chest. Emma Watts was safe. For now.

Octavia: "U. S. A.! U. S. A.!"

[Xavier and Skye deadpan one another]

Xavier: "By the way, where's my goddamn cheesecake?"

Daniel: "Vote if you think Xavier should get his cheesecake."

Xavier [whispers]: "I'll be your cheesecake."

Daniel: "What?"

Xavier: "—Nothing."

Sophie: "Okay I'm actually very surprised you guys are buying the merch and supporting this book's dysfunctionality."

Octavia: "Fuck you we're not dysfunctional."

[Skye, Sophie, Daniel, Xavier, Chase, and Ace all deadpan each other]

Ace: "Alright, who let Cupcake get into the liquor cabinet?"

Sophie: "A surprising number of you are buying Thirteen's psychotic quote design... Should I be concerned?"