cast & case files—THE TEAM

Here is how I imagine the team; then again, I make shitty decisions about most things so take my thoughts with a Mount Everest amount of salt.

theme song: GETAWAY—Saint Motel

(aka the greatest heist song known to man)

(as in, the song I'm not allowed to listen to while driving because I turn up too hard and almost swerve off the road)

Octavia Katherine Snow, lily collins

occupation: Student/Cryptographer

place of birth: Albemarle, North Carolina

strengths: somewhat intelligent, creative, computer science aptitude, headstrong, quotes vines unironically

weaknesses: physically unfit, loud mouth, no prior training, detrimental procrastination, like seriously, how is she not dead yet

other facts: deceased father, studied english, foster care system, hacked into pentagon to release information, obsessed with random things like how glue doesn't stick to the inside of a bottle

Ace Atlas Blackwell, theo james

occupation: Field Agent

place of birth: Chicago, Illinois

strengths: physically able, speaks four languages, martial arts training, ambidextrous, top score for special ops test, computer science aptitude, well-trained in weaponry, physiological savant, level-headed, children (apparently)

weaknesses: women, ego, overbearingly narcissistic, overbearingly narcissistic, and did I mention overbearingly narcissistic?

other facts: parents were top agents, started training at age 10, past partners with thirteen, idolizes toph beifong, enjoys top chef

Xavier "小河" Legion, godfrey gao

occupation: Assassin/Hitman

place of birth: Hong Kong, China

strengths: sniper, physically able, well-trained in weaponry, bilingual, is actually a teddy bear

weaknesses: cheesecake

other facts: parents believe he's a teacher, started training at age 14, bisexual, completed 312 assignments, wanted to start his own agency before cia arrived, only kills abject people, once, when he was 7, he threw a shoe at his english teacher

Skye "أضيف" Antar, unknown

occupation: Thief

place of birth: Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

strengths: extreme intelligence, physically able, martial arts training, speaks three languages

weaknesses: is underestimated, other than that (which is not really even a weakness) literally nothing

other facts: somewhat dyslexic, stole over $700 million worth of art, began stealing to avoid arranged marriage, disowned, royal bloodline, but we'll get to that some other day

(foreshadowing (yes it was blatant (yes I realize this is now three parentheses in a row (parenthe-ception))))

Chase Cromwell Kingsley, sam claflin

occupation: Mafia Leader

place of birth: Ithaca, New York

strengths: distrusting, physically able, dimples, adorable

weaknesses: wants to be a genius recluse, diapers, formula, in other words: children

other facts: as mafia leader facilitated $400 million underground transactions, jewish, enjoys hell's kitchen, hot pockets, completed degree at columbia, tried to make it work with a drug queenpin who literally set his car on fire

Story update later this week; for reference I update once a week either Friday or Monday. The story arc will get crazier, more romantic, and even sassier in the second act

There will be so many plot twists that you'll wonder if you're on a ride at Universal. You're also going to have to sign a liability waiver for lost sleep and blown minds

Sign here so there's no lawsuit:

Author: "—ahem—Ace, you're supposed to read the cue card to get people to vote now."

Ace: "No, you're not the fucking boss of me. Last time I checked my paycheck wasn't issued by you."

Author: "I'll get the Director to give you your raise if you get votes."

Ace: "...I don't need money."

Author: "What if I make Octavia go on a date with you?"

Ace: "..."

Author: "..."

Ace [frowns]: "..."

Author: "..."

Octavia [enters]: "...Why are you guys staring at each other like that?"

Ace: "ALRIGHT EVERYONE YOU HEARD HER YOU BETTER VOTE."

Octavia [rolls eyes]: "Yelling at people as an end card isn't even creative, I could have gotten way more votes."