♦ 4. I'm Pathetic ♦ 

|Rosalie Burns|

April 5th, 2015  

Earlier;

"Good luck Rose, we'll be right here in the sidelines if you need us, but I know you can do it."

"You don't need luck, it's those mongrels that do! I pity whoever crosses paths with you!"

"I know you got this in the bag Rose, we'll see you at the meet up in no time; okay?"

Three of the four boys each gave Rosalie a final piece of good luck, and a reassuring constrictor like hug, before each of them moved to their assigned sector. The only one who lingered was, of course, Jake. 

Jake gripped Rosalie a little tighter as he relished in the feel of her body pressed tightly against his. His warmth and her warmth mingling together for a few sweet seconds. He savoured the intimate moment he had with her for another minute before he reluctantly pulled away. His emerald eyes bore intensely into her shining sapphire ones. There was a strong emotion present in both looks, but before either could dwell on it, Jake's head dipped forward and lips pressed softly against Rosalie's forehead.

"Stay safe, please? Promise me... If something were to happen to you..." Jake's sentence trailed off as his hands cupped her face, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks. He didn't need to finish his sentence for her to understand his meaning. Rosalie smiled softly at her oldest and most precious friend, her one hand reaching foward to cup his right cheek in her own grip.

"You too Jake, come back to me in one piece; okay?"

"Always Rosie, always." 

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3:27am  

I slinked across the field with practiced silence. My footsteps were light and sure as I transferred from field to woods. My all black attire would prove useful as it camouflaged me in the deep shadows of the trees. We were on Lunar Eclipse territory now, had been for a while; my heightened senses could smell the wolf scent that covered the entire forest line. Oddly enough, the smell wasn't as horrid as one would think; it was actually... pretty nice.

I shook my head; what am I thinking? I needed to focus. The watch on my wrist indicated that there were four bodies circulating the area; my watch showed the thermal energy that bodies gave off. Wolves were easier to see since their body temperatures ran higher than the average person. I took the opportunity to climb up one of the trees in order to make a plan. Just as my foot hit the branch a howl broke from the distance and I knew that someone- a wolf- had been attacked. Well, that was quick. My best bet was that Jake or Mark had been the first to attack.

Another howl broke into the night, and this time it was much closer than before. I knew that wolf reinforces would be arriving at any moment. I crouched between the branches and watched as a small brown wolf jumped into the clearing, not even a moment after, a focused Cole closed in on her. I winced as Cole threw a dagger, but felt a small piece of relief as the wolf was able to dodge it.

As my eyes trailed its form, I noticed the wolf was significantly smaller than any male wolf I had seen. As I evaluated the wolf, I noticed the way it stood. By the way it took a slightly less dominant stance, its hackles weren't as raised as a male wolf's would be, I knew immediately this was a female wolf. In the wolf community females were always the submissive ones, yes a very hegemonic masculine way of thinking, but that just how the wolf community was run. The she-wolf growled and bared her teeth at my friend. Cole, not one to be frightened, only smirked as he aimed another dagger toward her panting figure.

I watched as the she-wolf's eyes scanned the forest floor for a way out, I tried to steel myself as her eyes ran past the tree I was in with a frantic manner, and my heart clenched at the fear that was hidden beneath her tough mask. A howl broke through the darkness. I kept my lips sealed as Cole hit his target, but it only dragged through her left arm as she jumped out of the way just before it could go through her heart. I blinked as a tremor rushed through me; my heart began beating faster as my breath became shorter, smaller pants. There was something twisting in my gut; telling me I couldn't just stand by like this! Something wasn't right.

A whine came out of her mouth as she tried to shake off the pain.

Quickly, I took a tube filled with what should have been poison laced needles, out from my bag and placed one end into my mouth. I closed my left eye as I aimed the needle toward the female, and before Cole could throw another dagger, I quickly blew one of the needles straight into her neck. The she-wolf instantly fell, the dagger narrowly missing her skull, as she hit the ground. Her eyes rolled back and her breathing became so low that it would have looked as though she had dropped dead. My needles should have been laced in a poisonous silver and wolfsbane concoction that my father made, but instead I switched it out for a less permanent death. The wolf was just hit with enough wolfsbane that instantly paralyzed and knocked her out.

Cole quickly stood from his position and I watched as he scanned the area for what hit the wolf. I wasted no time, and jumped from the tree onto the ground. Cole's defensive stance dropped when he saw my form fall to the ground.

"I should have known it was you," he smirked. I grinned; my method of 'getting rid' of the wolves was a lot less bloody than how the boys did it.

"Get going, I'll take care of the body," I told Cole. For a moment, I really thought he wasn't going to leave. My friend gave me a suspicious look and I tried my best to not look like I was hiding something. I was relieved when Cole gave a quick nod before he rushed off in another direction. More howls echoed through the forest and I quickly rushed over to the wolf and pressed two fingers to her neck; she still had a pulse. I removed the needle from her neck and threw it somewhere behind me.

I then reached into my pocket to grab the antidote and I slowly moved my hand toward the wolf so I could rub the salve over the part where I hit her with my needle. I needed to take my time with applying the antidote; otherwise I could accidentally kill her. However, for a moment, my eyes darted down toward the dagger I had stored in my boot. It wouldn't take much effort, and she technically was already dead, all I would have to do is reach into my boot and-

It was only when I felt small drops of water falling onto my wrist did I realize I was crying. My free hand reached up and wiped the moisture from my eyes. I stared down at my fingers in surprise; I was shedding tears at the mere thought of killing this wolf. This was my fate, my assigned destiny; why couldn't I go through with it? I excelled in all the training exercises and sparring sessions with the boys. I knew the mechanics of how to kill a wolf, but why was it when it came to the real thing, I couldn't do anything?

When a loud pained whimper came from the wolf, I quickly sprang into action. It took a few minutes, but once I applied thoroughly applied the antidote, the wolf slowly began to regain consciousness. Her eyes blinked open and I was hit with the odd golden colour they took. I watched as her nose twitched; she sniffed her surroundings and a defensive look immediately took over her features.

Quickly I stood and moved a fair ways back so I didn't frighten her too much. The wolf couldn't move her legs yet, but her mouth was unfrozen and she began to let out threatening growls and a loud howl I assumed was for her pack mates to come assist her. I needed to get out of here anyway, I spent a little more time than I should have with her and if I stayed any longer I was sure to get caught.

"I got rid of most of the poison; you should be able to move in five or so minutes. I'm sorry for hitting you, but it was either that or my friend would kill you, and... I couldn't allow that to happen," I explained- I was slightly surprised at my honesty, and by the look on her face, so was the she-wolf. The she-wolf kept her guarded expression as she watched me, the growls becoming lower as she listened to my words. I placed some of the salve in a bag and threw it toward her, "Apply this on it for four days; once in the morning and once at night and you'll be good as new," I instructed. I watched as the female looked at me curiously.

I sighed and cracked my back slightly as I stood fully; slowly I began to back away. I shook my head in self-loathing as I caught a glance at my slightly blood stained hands, I felt the hate for myself and the hate for my clan's ways build up inside my heart. "Who was I kidding? I wouldn't ever be able to live up to the Burns family name," I felt tears begin to fall down my cheeks, "No matter how hard I try... I can't bring myself to kill one of you; it's just not right," I smiled lightly through my tears. I felt like I was such a pathetic person. What was so wrong with me that I couldn't kill a wolf?

"Once you regain power of your limbs, get as far away from the forest as you can," I said. Then, without another word, I ran from the wolf. A howl erupted from the area I had left and I knew she was calling for help again. I looked down at my watch and saw that three wolf bodies were running toward her call.

Shit. There was a fourth body coming straight at me.

I knew I needed to get further away in order to be safe from the attacker and make a plan. I was supposed to find and kill the alpha, but how the hell was I supposed to do that? I knew I wouldn't be able to go through with it anymore. Something in me physically pained at the thought of killing someone from the Lunar Eclipse pack; there was something about it that seemed so completely wrong.

I didn't understand it.

I ran as fast as I could, hopefully toward the heart of the forest where the pack village should be located, but who knows, I was pretty crap with directions. It took me thirty minutes to feel like I was at a safe enough distance to pause. The padding of feet had ceased and when I looked down at my watch, there didn't seem to be any suspicious movement around me. I took the chance to let out the breath I had been holding.

Stupid move.

There was a sudden deep growling that came from behind me and I knew, without even looking I was trapped. I looked down at my watch; what the hell? I couldn't see a body mass on it! Had they somehow found a way to cover their body heat mass? I cursed as a howl erupted from behind me. I must have had stayed too long with that female wolf; that gave the Lunar Eclipse fighters enough time to sneak up on me. I could hear the growls of the other wolves before I could see their forms. A large grey wolf jumped in front of me and I tripped backward in surprise. A burning pain erupted in my spine and another one, a more excruciating pain, exploded in my left forearm.

There was a distressed howl, and I barely had time to press the distress signal on my watch before my world turned into darkness.

I'm sorry Jake... I can't keep your promise this time, I just hope you're okay...

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Hope you enjoyed this double update! I'll write to you all next chapter!

Stay lovely all you beautiful people! I ♥ you all!

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xoxo- Sharlynn